Aliceishiding - Hello Poetry

Nothing can fill this hole inside me The endless vacuum that makes me want to scream That creates a desire to cut open my seams A void of despair How do I repair The brokenness I find In all of my dreams

0

Dec 9, 2022

Dec 9, 2022 at 9:52 PM UTC

Nothing

Nothing can fill this hole inside me The endless vacuum that makes me want to scream That creates a desire to cut open my seams A void of despair How do I repair The brokenness I find In all of my dreams

7

Hopeful for sanity Bound up in mediocrity Okay but not fine Dancing with satan It’s Hard when you’re not alright To feel revelation.

0

Jul 4, 2022

Jul 4, 2022 at 6:32 PM UTC

Wrestling

Hopeful for sanity Bound up in mediocrity Okay but not fine Dancing with satan It’s Hard when you’re not alright To feel revelation.

6

I devour myself Dissolve myself like acid Erode myself Starting at the sides, I move in on myself corner myself shatter myself Starting at the edges, I consume myself abrade myself crumble myself Starting at the ends, I chip away at myself Break myself Mistake myself feed off myself Inside, I devour myself

0

Mar 23, 2022

Mar 23, 2022 at 11:49 AM UTC

I Devour Myself

I devour myself Dissolve myself like acid Erode myself Starting at the sides, I move in on myself corner myself shatter myself Starting at the edges, I consume myself abrade myself crumble myself Starting at the ends, I chip away at myself Break myself Mistake myself feed off myself Inside, I devour myself

14

They’re not going to email you or buzz you or ring you They’re not going to talk to you or hear you or see you They’re going to have nothing to do with you and they’re happy not to be you. Take their power from your mind Only that can free you. Because, you. You deserve to be free. You.

0

Dec 22, 2021

Dec 22, 2021 at 2:46 PM UTC

You

They’re not going to email you or buzz you or ring you They’re not going to talk to you or hear you or see you They’re going to have nothing to do with you and they’re happy not to be you. Take their power from your mind Only that can free you. Because, you. You deserve to be free. You.

6

I have made mistakes Quiet a few More than I can name to you. I have fallen short Dug my grave Thought I wasn’t worthy to save. I’ve given up I’ve fallen down But I’ve not remained upon the ground. Because life is short And moments fleeting So, in spite of my fearful heart, I will keep dreaming.

0

Dec 1, 2021

Dec 1, 2021 at 4:31 PM UTC

Untitled

I have made mistakes Quiet a few More than I can name to you. I have fallen short Dug my grave Thought I wasn’t worthy to save. I’ve given up I’ve fallen down But I’ve not remained upon the ground. Because life is short And moments fleeting So, in spite of my fearful heart, I will keep dreaming.

13

I lie on the bed I cover my face Waking up has left me With my soul out of place I dig my nails into my hands And lace my fingers to ask for grace But I am too scared to ask God To cleanse a girl so debased.

0

Nov 28, 2021

Nov 28, 2021 at 9:12 PM UTC

Untitled

I lie on the bed I cover my face Waking up has left me With my soul out of place I dig my nails into my hands And lace my fingers to ask for grace But I am too scared to ask God To cleanse a girl so debased.

8

I’m sorry I’m your heart breaker. Penny-pincher; love-taker Joy-sucker; hurt-maker I’m sorry I’m your heart breaker. I’m sorry I’m your worst fear. Pull you close; hold you near- But now I’m going to disappear. I’m sorry I’m your worst fear. I’m sorry I’m your dark night. If I could give you wings- let you take flight I would in a second- to escape my own spite. I’m sorry I’m your dark night.

0

Nov 17, 2021

Nov 17, 2021 at 5:37 PM UTC

Heart Breaker

I’m sorry I’m your heart breaker. Penny-pincher; love-taker Joy-sucker; hurt-maker I’m sorry I’m your heart breaker. I’m sorry I’m your worst fear. Pull you close; hold you near- But now I’m going to disappear. I’m sorry I’m your worst fear. I’m sorry I’m your dark night. If I could give you wings- let you take flight I would in a second- to escape my own spite. I’m sorry I’m your dark night.

12

I miss being childlike Curling up in my mommy’s lap: snug, warm, safe. Playing and pulling her brown hair between my fingers. Feeling her belly rise and fall with breath, interwoven with who we are, mother from daughter, her womb my fingerprints. I am but a child.

0

Jan 17, 2021

Jan 17, 2021 at 1:30 PM UTC

Child

I miss being childlike Curling up in my mommy’s lap: snug, warm, safe. Playing and pulling her brown hair between my fingers. Feeling her belly rise and fall with breath, interwoven with who we are, mother from daughter, her womb my fingerprints. I am but a child.

5

I am a wilting flower. I am over-watered, hung heavy. I am the blackish-blue in your eyes after a flash. Splotchy, blinding, lacking clarity. I am the looks you receive and the smiles you don’t when you enter a room I am the ringing in your ears, the sharp alarm of your eardrum dying. I am the weight in your stomach, a cowbell sitting above your bladder. I am the cold. I am the frigid wind at 5 a.m. on a February morning. I am the dark, suffocating, all-encompassing feeling of being smothered beneath a pillow. I am the frostbite which makes your fingers swell and feel like needle jabs. I am the exact-o knife against your skin. I am the beads of blood. I am the slice which opens up when you pull on my lips, revealing the muscle inside. I am the wall which stares back as you sit staring. I am the voice in your head which cycles over and over. I am the rotten banana peel left on the lunch table for the janitor. I am the wreaking garbage on your curb. I am the abandoned wrapper everyone steps over but no one picks up. I am the dried gum stuck to the sidewalk and under desks. I am the drowsiness, the lack of concentration, the sadness. I am the numbness, the lead in your limbs, the cramps in your back. I am the constipation and the nausea. I am the headaches which press into your temples. I am the thoughts and the quiet holding you to the bed. I am the used ****** left in the vineyard. I am the empty roads and stoplights after dark. I am the fist which clenches your heart. I am the suffocation. I am the loneliness. I am the fear. I am the self-hatred. I am the weight. I am the loss. I am the spreading. I am the increasing while you decrease. I am the dark cloud. I am the thunderstorm. I am the heavy rain on your windshield on the highway. I am the broken windshield wipers. you cannot see anymore. I am the empty cavity in your chest. I am the remembered, you are the forgotten. .

0

Sep 17, 2018

Sep 17, 2018 at 9:07 PM UTC

What i Am When i Am Not

I am a wilting flower. I am over-watered, hung heavy. I am the blackish-blue in your eyes after a flash. Splotchy, blinding, lacking clarity. I am the looks you receive and the smiles you don’t when you enter a room I am the ringing in your ears, the sharp alarm of your eardrum dying. I am the weight in your stomach, a cowbell sitting above your bladder. I am the cold. I am the frigid wind at 5 a.m. on a February morning. I am the dark, suffocating, all-encompassing feeling of being smothered beneath a pillow. I am the frostbite which makes your fingers swell and feel like needle jabs. I am the exact-o knife against your skin. I am the beads of blood. I am the slice which opens up when you pull on my lips, revealing the muscle inside. I am the wall which stares back as you sit staring. I am the voice in your head which cycles over and over. I am the rotten banana peel left on the lunch table for the janitor. I am the wreaking garbage on your curb. I am the abandoned wrapper everyone steps over but no one picks up. I am the dried gum stuck to the sidewalk and under desks. I am the drowsiness, the lack of concentration, the sadness. I am the numbness, the lead in your limbs, the cramps in your back. I am the constipation and the nausea. I am the headaches which press into your temples. I am the thoughts and the quiet holding you to the bed. I am the used ****** left in the vineyard. I am the empty roads and stoplights after dark. I am the fist which clenches your heart. I am the suffocation. I am the loneliness. I am the fear. I am the self-hatred. I am the weight. I am the loss. I am the spreading. I am the increasing while you decrease. I am the dark cloud. I am the thunderstorm. I am the heavy rain on your windshield on the highway. I am the broken windshield wipers. you cannot see anymore. I am the empty cavity in your chest. I am the remembered, you are the forgotten. .

41

There is something about the way the sunlight slants through the blinds, how my blanket feels warm after a night hugging my body. The way my sock-enmeshed toes stretch and my arms reach out like wings then fold back in to the warmth of my chest. The way my feet pad across the oak floors and my apple tastes as it crushes between my molars, sweet and watery and fresh, as though the flowers of on my windowsill have turned red and the petals filled with nectar.

0

Sep 17, 2018

Sep 17, 2018 at 8:56 PM UTC

When I wake up

There is something about the way the sunlight slants through the blinds, how my blanket feels warm after a night hugging my body. The way my sock-enmeshed toes stretch and my arms reach out like wings then fold back in to the warmth of my chest. The way my feet pad across the oak floors and my apple tastes as it crushes between my molars, sweet and watery and fresh, as though the flowers of on my windowsill have turned red and the petals filled with nectar.

10