the seroquel isn’t working this evening,
the effects of the lithium finally waned.
as I lay awake,
anxiety plummeting through every vein,
breathing going in & out,
halting at the moments needed most,
I dream of you.
missing the moments where’d you touch me in ways no mortal soul could,
how easily you could rejuvenate a lifeless girl in a troubled world,
the way you’d release the trepidation from an overworked mind.
I can’t help but weep,
for the destruction you brought is more than I could bear,
but **** it, what do I even care?
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 5:16 PM UTC
Travesty reeks these hollow halls,
Death lingers in my heart,
Oblivion in my eyes,
Why is it no one hears my silent cries?
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 5:02 PM UTC
My soul burst through the atmosphere,
Finally facing that ridiculous fear,
Answering the questions,
Immersed in Kant’s Critique of Reasons.
Obliterating through tricky paths,
Reiterating the reality of what I believe to be within principle,
& yet as I ponder during my journey,
I wonder about how will I determine what principles really mean to me?
The thoughts taunt me,
The drugs drowning out the racing wonders.
I finally sit back,
Calming down from the oxy high,
Breathing,
Reaching for the blunt to my left,
I’ll worry on such ordeals more tomorrow.
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 9:36 PM UTC
My demons have emerged.
They’re prepared full throttle,
The thirst to devour my soul,
The salivation dripping from their lips,
The scent of death upon their skin,
Hell’s darkness occupied in their eyes.
I could run,
Yet I’m exhausted of this same dance.
I stand, tormented with the lashes of their hate,
And with each tear of flesh,
I see them in me,
I see the loathing and emptiness in my soul,
The hollow within my own eye.
Do I dare fight anymore?
What’s the point of it anymore?
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 9:36 PM UTC
Nothing can truly describe the misfortune of a love lost.
As if hell itself unleashed its worst parasite unto my soul,
Draining me of any remaining light.
That brutal ache brings forth an uncommon demon,
Baring its decaying hands of treachery,
It alters sunshine to utter dark,
Thunder & lighting becoming an unlikely comfort.
The tears which sting my eyes in the face of this defeat,
Offers more trouble than relief.
A newfound sorrow,
Kills this soul ever so quietly but with shattering blows.
Laughter ceased,
Life without you seems far from bearable,
And somehow, I’m still breathing.
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 26, 2018 at 7:01 PM UTC
My soul salivates for fulfillment,
Ailing for that forbidden touch.
A sort of hunger grumbling at the mind,
A serenade which has since revealed itself to be a trance.
As our universes collide,
Two find worlds untouched,
Looming suspense,
Journeys down paths distant from domestic lands,
No evidence of the truth,
Could drive this girl to suicide.
For it doesn’t all end with the unexplored,
But with this mirror before my eye,
The reflection glowering in this direction,
Deprectiates the torture of the bitter loneliness,
The demons of this land finally mutilated.
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 1:19 PM UTC
A tired woman, I be,
Fully and truly.
Death is all which lingers in these eyes,
Nothing more to see but an end,
But the bleakness of this soul.
Morbidity reeks through this skin,
Pain exhausted,
Words of others are spoken,
Yet they remain unheard,
Faces pass,
But all I see is that dark light.
A silent piece shouts out inside,
Aching for someone to revive this spirit,
She shrieks, she cries,
But just like the words others have spoken,
She remains unheard.
And as the faces which pass,
She’s forever unseen.
What only could this mean,
For a fate lingering in balance?
Will she fight death & accept the challenge?
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 12:43 AM UTC
Off in the distance,
A woman sits, cold,
Shivering in the rain,
The only true look on her face being disdain,
Her hair tattered, dishelved,
Her eyes, piercing with unspeakable pain,
Filled with tears of the years of scorn,
Screaming the terror of a heart ailing for love,
But never receiving the adorn.
She speaks but only to herself,
Of the masquerades life has rummaged her way,
Of the days where laughter annihilated her silence,
Of the times the mightiest sauntered in her presence,
When she gleamed with impenetrable grace.
“Fantasies,” she utters but in a whisper,
“I live for the fantasies.”
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 12:37 AM UTC
Continuously pondering why me?
Why must I be the face of such misery?
They tell me, be smart, be kind,
Be free to express your mind,
And yet, all of these traits,
& no one to find me quaint.
No love to come,
Just utter confusion and pain that never seems done.
I wonder what I did to deserve such confusion?
What happened and was it all an illusion?
Is everything I felt merely pretend?
Am I truly destined to walk this lonesome path until the bitter end?
Tired of it all,
Tired of never being enough but null.
What’s the purpose of love to be in it alone?
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 2:24 PM UTC
Stand and deliver,
Declare what it is that penetrates the vibration of the world
Shatter what you believe to be real of the universe.
Sink into the depths,
Drown beneath such travesty,
Emerge through the flames with ferocious atonement.
Sun kisses upon the face of evil,
The optical illusion that is deception,
Deceit from fellow man,
Betrayal from our own souls,
A search for healing,
Scavenging for the answers,
A treasure hunt around the realm,
Only to return with empty hands.
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 6:04 PM UTC