The sky crackles and I feel the most alone.
Just like that day in the woods.
My special place was off the trail, but he couldn't have known me,
I was so young and such an idiot,
Not everyone is genuine but I was so trusting,
I can still smell the sickening mixture of fresh-fallen rain,his sweat, the mud around the creek and salt from my tears.
With every atmospheric collision from the sky
my stomach churns tasting the blood in my mouth from his fist thundering against my tear stained cheeks.
When the wind blows
I can still feel his callous hands bruising and exploring my unwilling body, and scraping against
the most intimate parts of me.
The lightning is when I remember the rock that found my desperate palms and crashing against his temple
The wind howls and the rain finally starts to fall then, near my belly button burns just like it did when the blade he swung wildly cut me before I could run and the water is my heartbeat pounding in my ears,
but I can hear him behind me
The rush If my blood reminding me I’m still alive mind begging me to stay that way, his threats pushing me further
Head pounding ,body burning,
I burst through my front door
And then I start to cry
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 1:28 AM UTC
I have written countless poems for you,
That your eyes will never reach.
I have novels of you,
Countless volumes of skin
I've ripped from my fragile bones,
Pressed into millions of pages With only your name covering them.
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 5:47 AM UTC
If I wake and we were all be a dream.
Would that ease my pain
or further, break my heart.
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 2:34 AM UTC
Oh no, don't worry about it I'm fine.
i'm just Killing time and was wondering if you could talk. no, don't worry it was nothing.
i am completely Alright, i've just been having a rough time.
how have You been?
Of course i want you to ask again but I don't want to burden you.
i'll Keep it locked up deep inside, i'all be okay they have their own lives.
they are so far Away, i want to make plans with you but you're so busy now.
I am running out of Yellow paint, my only companion in the loneliness.
i have a feeling i'll be gone soon, but that's OKAY.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 11:06 PM UTC
I try to be stronger now.
But I killed my strongest self, several attempts ago
I push it away,
but darkness always returns;
I am reverted to the worst version of myself.
She is 16 and sobbing out her sorrows in her bathtub,
to her favorite razor and a bottle full of pills.
She is self-destructing but, she can't say why.
Someone else's words have cut out her tongue.
Her mouth bleeds out their words against her,
trying to save herself she locks her jaw into a smile, that lies to everyone around her that she's fine.
But, her body fills with their hatred and she learns to loathe herself
Slowly, her heart is smothered and her mind breaks.
She becomes so full that she burst at the wrist, just to get some relief.
I return to the present,
I've made a mistake.
I am too weak again to this world.
I look at myself in the mirror.
I watch the blood on the counter make small pools from my wrists.
And I give into it.
I will never fully be myself again.
I have killed myself too many times,
Sometimes I wish my body wasn't too stubborn to die.
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 3, 2017 at 3:58 PM UTC
I am choking, on the things left unsaid;
I am drowning, in their dread.
Smothered by the weight of my own tongue;
Coating my larynx, begging to be wrung.
My breath, stifled by unwritten letters draining into my esophagus;
Strangled words, using my body as their sarcophagus.
That one day, when I'm stronger, I'll find the courage to excavate.
Until then, I'll slowly ,asphyxiate.
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 5:02 AM UTC
The weight of you drags me down.
I try to swim but you force me to drown.
You hold me under the surface of my depression by my throat.
Suffocating me by your once gentle hands I could fight you but I don't.
I let you chain me up and I let you drag me down.
Because even without the weight of you I would surely drown.
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 5:41 AM UTC
You found me;
Whilst I was to finding myself;
I trusted you with all my pieces;
And you took them as a trophy,
A prize for when you broke me;
In their place;
I was left with your false I love you’s;
As scars on my desolate heart.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 9:57 AM UTC