Aishu - Hello Poetry

Our silence first comforted me then it did bothered but it never suffocateed me because it was not binding me but it still liberated me always moving beyond the silence and all those small actions actions now and then were louder but like your words it also found its silence so close and yet so far had its new definition but reading your actions is still harder

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Feb 14, 2020

Feb 14, 2020 at 4:23 AM UTC

The Silence

Our silence first comforted me then it did bothered but it never suffocateed me because it was not binding me but it still liberated me always moving beyond the silence and all those small actions actions now and then were louder but like your words it also found its silence so close and yet so far had its new definition but reading your actions is still harder

10

Biased enough to reject everything beyond... I really must have loved you, to put you above all my friendships, to put you above my career, to make you my world, to put you above my life. I really must have loved you. To think on you night/day, I really must have loved you How was that even possible? How is any of this possible? I really must have loved you to go blind. And still, why was such love not enough? Did I really love you enough? If I loved you to enough to leave why will I not delete your number But I am sure I really must still love you you are all there is, fantasy, reality and beyond. I am sure it must have been Love for it defines you and me.

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Jan 8, 2020

Jan 8, 2020 at 6:36 AM UTC

You and Me

Biased enough to reject everything beyond... I really must have loved you, to put you above all my friendships, to put you above my career, to make you my world, to put you above my life. I really must have loved you. To think on you night/day, I really must have loved you How was that even possible? How is any of this possible? I really must have loved you to go blind. And still, why was such love not enough? Did I really love you enough? If I loved you to enough to leave why will I not delete your number But I am sure I really must still love you you are all there is, fantasy, reality and beyond. I am sure it must have been Love for it defines you and me.

20

There is a fear in my prayer, I pray to be stronger, I fear the trouble that follows I pray to be able to move on, I might then lose your fee too Another love means another heartbreak. More dates mean more disappointment Another morning and the night that follows What do I pray for? How to isolate the fear attached. How not to pray without hope? How not to pray at all? Faith and fear, I pray for it to not come together to me.

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Dec 28, 2019

Dec 28, 2019 at 10:50 AM UTC

I pray?

There is a fear in my prayer, I pray to be stronger, I fear the trouble that follows I pray to be able to move on, I might then lose your fee too Another love means another heartbreak. More dates mean more disappointment Another morning and the night that follows What do I pray for? How to isolate the fear attached. How not to pray without hope? How not to pray at all? Faith and fear, I pray for it to not come together to me.

13

Most of my life, I’ve been a highly independent person and proudly so. I have grown myself up, travelled alone, personal decisions. I am even praised for being so independent. I can’t say I did not enjoy the glory. I have rejected my support system fiercely and craved the glory of independence. Growing up and be independent! That’s all that has been a goal. I had made personal independence as my virtue. Independence from parents, from education, and when you have your heartbroken, independence from being in love. I hated the word “compromise” and the only way to achieve. Doing something all by yourself takes no compromising. I don’t have to think about someone else’s feelings, I don’t have to worry about their needs, I don’t have to take care of anyone but me. Now, this sounds more and more like selfish than independence. I realise the bigger struggle is to collaborate and come to a solution where everyone has their needs met, to give as well as take. Now that felt like growing up, the test of real courage. Are we glorifying independence because we don’t want to take care of other people? Because everywhere I went, someone was telling me I needed to find my freedom. Everywhere I looked, I searched in vain for that independence I once had, finally having to accept I would never be an unemotional, unattached person again. Maybe we need not be independent. Self-made Is so overrated. Nobody is. We need not be. Even world war was won by the alliance. We need 2 for a clap or make a life. You need light and day to survive, you need bones and muscles. The world is not singular, the world is not independent. Even earth is going round and round the sun with a crazy crush that it can’t collide into and it can’t move away from. Earth is so on its own, so much in its own, but its existence is a collaborative one. I know now that I can’t go at it alone or maybe even if I can I don’t want to do this alone. I want to live a life with friends and family supporting each other through the good, the rough, and everything in between. And I want a romantic partner to experience life with me. I want to have support emotionally, physically, and financially a coexistence. My feminazi is in admitting that we need more feminine collaboration than the masculine ideal of success and independence. I want to find that freedom of shared submission and being part of something bigger than self-sufficiency.

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Dec 16, 2019

Dec 16, 2019 at 6:17 AM UTC

Independence overrated!

Most of my life, I’ve been a highly independent person and proudly so. I have grown myself up, travelled alone, personal decisions. I am even praised for being so independent. I can’t say I did not enjoy the glory. I have rejected my support system fiercely and craved the glory of independence. Growing up and be independent! That’s all that has been a goal. I had made personal independence as my virtue. Independence from parents, from education, and when you have your heartbroken, independence from being in love. I hated the word “compromise” and the only way to achieve. Doing something all by yourself takes no compromising. I don’t have to think about someone else’s feelings, I don’t have to worry about their needs, I don’t have to take care of anyone but me. Now, this sounds more and more like selfish than independence. I realise the bigger struggle is to collaborate and come to a solution where everyone has their needs met, to give as well as take. Now that felt like growing up, the test of real courage. Are we glorifying independence because we don’t want to take care of other people? Because everywhere I went, someone was telling me I needed to find my freedom. Everywhere I looked, I searched in vain for that independence I once had, finally having to accept I would never be an unemotional, unattached person again. Maybe we need not be independent. Self-made Is so overrated. Nobody is. We need not be. Even world war was won by the alliance. We need 2 for a clap or make a life. You need light and day to survive, you need bones and muscles. The world is not singular, the world is not independent. Even earth is going round and round the sun with a crazy crush that it can’t collide into and it can’t move away from. Earth is so on its own, so much in its own, but its existence is a collaborative one. I know now that I can’t go at it alone or maybe even if I can I don’t want to do this alone. I want to live a life with friends and family supporting each other through the good, the rough, and everything in between. And I want a romantic partner to experience life with me. I want to have support emotionally, physically, and financially a coexistence. My feminazi is in admitting that we need more feminine collaboration than the masculine ideal of success and independence. I want to find that freedom of shared submission and being part of something bigger than self-sufficiency.

6

And then I paused to breathe.. and I could sense you all over I moved to drink my water and I could taste you in the water and then I closed my eyes and I was lost with you in the darkness Just when there was nothing left, you filled everything in one breath.

0

Dec 16, 2019

Dec 16, 2019 at 3:17 AM UTC

One breath

And then I paused to breathe.. and I could sense you all over I moved to drink my water and I could taste you in the water and then I closed my eyes and I was lost with you in the darkness Just when there was nothing left, you filled everything in one breath.

8

Dear Dad, I wish if you could respond with these like again, What is your daughter doing? If they ask you again tell them she is happy tell then she is healthy Question them: why is this not enough? If they ask you again to control the daughter tell them she is controlling the world To the advocates of settling down tell them your daughter was born for more To the advocated of retirement, tell them your daughter's life isn't tiring her, Well if you do not have to be an advocate of truth, If nothing else, just lie.

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Dec 3, 2019

Dec 3, 2019 at 10:24 PM UTC

if you could...

Dear Dad, I wish if you could respond with these like again, What is your daughter doing? If they ask you again tell them she is happy tell then she is healthy Question them: why is this not enough? If they ask you again to control the daughter tell them she is controlling the world To the advocates of settling down tell them your daughter was born for more To the advocated of retirement, tell them your daughter's life isn't tiring her, Well if you do not have to be an advocate of truth, If nothing else, just lie.

15