Wood grain in the low light.
Last time I was here you were with me.
I considered you my person, my permanent.
But these are my friends, I received them before you and during you and after you.
They play guitar in tandem behind me.
My heart and the skin beneath the seam of my jeans skitters.
Why is the only reason i want you To Touch Someone ?
I thought we were
deeper connected.
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 12:59 AM UTC
my visitor drives away in the evening.
My heart settles in my guts, sodden.
Tomorrow I will scoop batter and roll racks into the oven.
Tonight I will imagine you, brunette curls peeking around the edges of lace *******
dark pink lips,
heavy lidded umber eyes.
They will never gaze on me again.
Mar 22
Mar 22, 2026 at 8:34 PM UTC
Part of it feels tragic
We went from walking around the lake, carefree, me almost skipping to keep up—
To the dark, alone, in two separate houses.
From chatting and laughing happily, strangers commenting under their breath
To no texts. You’re not on my call log. Your face is not on my screen.
From her seeing me, noticing me, watching me with love in her eyes and suggesting I get checked for asthma
To me on the porch couch next to you
feeling unseen
avoiding your gaze
Was the lamp you got me chipped this whole time?
Or did it crack when I transported it moving out?
You have my socks with no mates.
Oh, how badly I wanted you for so long—
Yes, you might reciprocate—
That doesn’t fix what gave out.
I gave out.
You didn’t notice.
And you only understood why once I was leaving.
I’d been explaining it for years. Did my words never sink in—?
Only dashed to solve it as we were deciding who gets the cat.
Only tried your best when
I finally had to let it lie where it fell.
Resting; barely breathing; taking its last breaths.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 12:03 PM UTC
What does it mean that I never dreamt of you?
Never masturbated to you?
Didn’t take photos incessantly of you
Never unpacked my boxes at your place…
Mar 3
Mar 3, 2026 at 11:06 PM UTC
something is missing when writing runs dry
when we’re naked in bed and don’t bother to touch
when she’s scrolling her phone and I don’t have my own space
apology flowers and the fridge is nearly empty
when talking makes the heart pound and she’s mean to my friends
my skin is raw from the tears of the last forty eight hours
The promise ring i got her was lost in the mail.
A life together too much turmoil entails.
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 3:09 PM UTC
Leave me here,
like you want me bad enough
You still don’t know the way I work
which way it tilts and how to hit it
you try to hit it—
And put me on my own,
as if this is about me
the only way to come is
if it’s anything besides me
Maybe it’s your desire
an instinct or an experiment
conversion or love filled sentiment
alas the lore finds me in the dark
no girl
a self hating pool of warmth.
Oct 30, 2024
Oct 30, 2024 at 12:55 AM UTC
i have a lot of questions
and i dont know what we are
i learnt last time agreements not e-
nough to make her yours...
And you live much more freely than she did
in the first place, much less scared,
so prospective having you for me is
impossible
or so i fear...
I'm not embarrassed any-
more for where we're headed to
but something's also broke in that
you come more than i do
i'm working on the medicines that
keep me far from you
there's nothing that i want more than domestic life
together, and soon...
i've got a lot of fear for taking this step.
Apr 20, 2024
Apr 20, 2024 at 8:22 PM UTC
each of us twitch in the fingers and toes,
two people jolted repeatedly in the day,
And each of us want to put the electricity to good use
so we move; and
Running my hands through your hair feels like flying
There are bruises on my neck and cuts on my tongue
I am pulled to you.
You pull me into your chest while you're sleeping,
You pull me onto your lap in your room
it smells like *** and sweetness
Rose petals and pachouli in your dark curls--
There's a place I'm trying to reach in the center of me.
You help me find it.
Thank you for lending me those glossy dark brown eyes to see with
however long we last.
Feb 5, 2024
Feb 5, 2024 at 9:47 PM UTC
The way I expressed it didn’t fully
make sense to my dearest
who only likes men.
It's never sat right to me
the pride of a parent in their straight child's love life,
the "don't ask don't tell" for a gay daughter
I used to see red as a fad that
had passed and a warning that I’m
not desired;
But I’m seeing clearer now,
Rose-colored glasses might
actually bring life into focus.
We're all fruity and nonconforming
girlfriends and boyfriends and partners each
Others cringe hearing "queer"...
Yet there’s something more in it:
We don't have an explicit gaze,
We have possibility, and the subversion of male eyes.
So I’ve always been nearly regal like The Lady of Shalott, or Lady Lilith,
The Birth of Venus,
Flaming June,
The Accolade— and I
like *** and I
feel wanted and I
am a commodity--
Don't a man look at me but
I will take a boyish girl's gaze
only her eyes focused on my *******
Sleep over after the first date, for a change,
And remain soft in shape
She murmurs a lover’s desires:
Wear your identity on your sleeve,
In the curve of your back, on the scent of your hair and upon your hips, which invite her hands.
Once, I said "let's make it cinematic
Like that one *** scene that's in Mulholland Drive"
But now: "Touch me, baby"
It's finally the normal way.
Jan 25, 2024
Jan 25, 2024 at 2:25 PM UTC
my hips, my *** the insides of my thighs
Don't need to give her tips
because they're true, already tried,
And she asks without a word
(i never knew consent to be so smooth)
I've never had a lover
just a love
Now *** is never 'wrong'.
Then there I was, excited-
The question hit me straight-
"are you queer now?"
No, I'm with a girl, she's lesbian bait;
Don't criticize her anatomy.
Jan 11, 2024
Jan 11, 2024 at 4:04 PM UTC