“Just beneath touching,
under the layer contact,
there’s a yearning.
To touch my skin might not be enough.
I want the tracks of my brain run by fingers
and my veins followed intently.
To see my smile might not do.
I want the reason why found by searching
and my teeth counted meticulously.
To hear my cry might not be enough.
I want the shaking of my bones felt
and my nerve-endings counted.
Jut beneath touching,
under the layer of contact,
there’s a yearning.”
A.V.
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 4:29 AM UTC
“Dear dead,
Did dying downplay death?
Did dying hurt?
Did dying deprive you of life,
or did it fill you one last time?
Is death just truly dying,
or is dying just the start of it?
Dear dead,
don’t downplay details deprived from the living.
Did dying downplay death?
Does death hurt or does dying hurt?
You don’t hurt us, though.
Not anymore.
The living forgot you.
Does forgetting hurt?
Or is it remembering that does?”
Your dearest friend,
the living.”
A.V.
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 4:18 AM UTC
“I rewatch the same movie again and again
in the hope it will feel more like a lived memory,
and not a far off dream I never owned.
Let their words be second nature to my mouth,
and let the images flash like I’ve been there.
I let the movie be mine in fear of others reminding me I wasn’t there.
And I rewatch it again, rethinking every scene I watched before
like I do my words in every history I lived.
Another time I watch, more like memories this time,
still wishing it’s my life I watched play out
until its happy ending.”
A.V.
Mar 16
Mar 16, 2026 at 4:33 PM UTC
Always another answer adrift among all.
Always alone amongst all answers answered.
Between broken believers, before believers berated,
belief became believed.
Constant cracking crazed children.
Cannot change course conquered.
Dear dead, don’t downplay details deprived due diligence.
Did dying downplay death?
Everyone ever experience ending everything?
Even every event except eerie exchange?
Frankly, former forever friend,
flying from friend freed former foe.
Generous general government guy gave great grace,
gave great grace giving grand-lived guys geared guise.
He handed him history he had heard, hardly hindered
historical humanity he himself had hardly helped.
If instead I inserted into instinct, I interpreted it into infinite information.
I imagined it into itself inseparable infinity.
Join jealously, justified joy, Just journey jealousy justly.
Join joyful, just, jealous.
Keep kicking keen kings, kingdoms know.
Keep kicking knowing kings kindly.
Let love leave like life left lifetimes lonely.
Let love leave living longings like life left living.
Make my mind mistakes messy, memorable meanings.
Make mind memories more my mother’s music.
Nothing never needed names, no nothing named natural notebooks.
Never needed no new notes, nothing’s new.
O, over oneself only one oath of our own overpowers.
Our only oath of ourselves originated outside ourselves.
Please play politics perfectly, painting pretty pictured people.
Pathetic painter, playing politics poorly.
Queer queen question quality quotes quickly.
question queerness, queen.
Remember right, really remember. Remember rising red roses,
remember risking revealing righteousness.
Stay safe, stand still, smile sober.
State safety standards soundly.
Try the teething truth together, try telling them to think today.
think together, trust the truth.
Under understanding, uncertainty unlocks us urgently.
uncertainty unfolds upon using us.
Very vague valuables voiced voracious vendors.
vendors vandalise very vulnerable values.
Watch, we want what we will when welcoming women.
We watch what women wear whenever we want.
X?
You, yes you. Yesterday you yodelled,
yes yesterday you yelled younger you.
Zombie zelf, zei ze zacht. Zeker, zeiden zombies zonder zorgen. Zonder zekerheid zelfs, zocht ze.
Mar 16
Mar 16, 2026 at 3:22 PM UTC
“You couldn’t see me.
I can’t understand why,
because I made myself so clear.
I tried to show hurt outside.
But you couldn’t see me.
So I kept walking,
finding the fog we were in.
I couldn’t see you.
I should’ve but I couldn’t,
because you made yourself so clear.
You tried to show it.
But I couldn’t see.
So I kept walking,
feeling around the dark.
Then, I saw you.
The conversations replayed,
my mind clear.
The fog still there,
but I felt you.
The fog didn’t lift,
but I saw.
You couldn’t see me,
and I forgot
I didn’t see you either.”
A.V.
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 8:25 AM UTC
“There’s something comfortable
about being forgotten.
Because it means
I was loved.
Not forever,
but for a while.”
A.V.
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 6:45 PM UTC
“I saw my name in the paper today.
The page was yellowed, aged by morning sun.
Because the world didn’t stop turning,
the clock didn’t break, the trains kept on moving.
But I was gone for fortnight now.
I saw my face on a photo today.
Different photos, placed throughout my life.
Because the world didn’t forget,
the missing didn’t stop, the memories remembered.
But I was gone for months now.
I saw my name in the paper today.
A different person, born by morning sun.
Because the world didn’t stop turning,
the clock didn’t break, the lives kept moving.
But I was gone for years now.
I saw my name in the paper today.
A fleeing thought, lived within.
Because the world didn’t stop turning,
the clock didn’t break, the trains kept on moving.
So I kept walking through it all.”
A.V.
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 6:43 PM UTC
“Life is the millions of paths within a forest.
Some less walked,
and some so travelled, the paths as wide
as the road we drove to come here.
But for the path to be there,
my mind ran the paths before my feet did.
Millions of paths planned in detail.
Millions of choice I had made
But, if I ever arrive at crossroad: us.
I’d take that way without the doubt
I felt walking my mind along.
I don’t know to where crossroad us is.
Or where it leads eventually.
But in every walk I take,
I’d strive to take that crossroad there.
Life is millions of paths within a forest.
And I’ll take billions of walks
to find that crossroad us.”
A.V.
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 6:42 PM UTC
“Behind my eyes, there’s war.
Do I swallow or do I speak?
Do I choose my words with care
or let the anger flow?
Do I offer or claim what’s mine?
The war is loud, unforgiving,
it keeps my voice in check.
Which fight to fight, what moment to strike,
or what fight I give away.
What sword may draw, what pistol may shoot,
when do I protect my troops,
when all I truly do is to keep them
just outside danger’s range.
Behind my eyes, there’s war.
Do I take another hit,
let another soldier struggle,
let another life at risk?
‘Cause when I step upon that ground,
send another soldier out to talk,
I am met with silence.
No gunshot of anger, no hit to take,
just silence across a battlefield.
A battlefield I keep.”
A.V.
Mar 6
Mar 6, 2026 at 8:19 AM UTC
“Some days,
I do not think I’m worth of love.
Because no love saw true worth in me.
No love came and held me
when time froze against the
cold finger of death.
No love came and called me
when I spoke without true meaning.
No love saw
when I’d be crying
in my bed at 3 am.
No love wasn’t what I expected.
No love is worth the grave.
Some days,
I do not think I’m worth of love.
‘Cause love is such
a fragile word.”
A.V.
Oct 26, 2025
Oct 26, 2025 at 5:55 PM UTC