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AHButler
Non-binary/London
The urge to do nothing is overwhelming, compelling. I am motionless I find myself halted. Based upon a worry a waiting dominated by uncertainty. ​ I cannot go on I stretch the mind wander wonder of antidotes remedies delicious in the knowledge of their reduced life span. But not a cure. Openings brighten despite me, the ephemera of the street untouched, lilting on its arbor in its impetuous parade. ​(I think) I should not allow myself this dysania in the spaces between moments, lapses into stillness unforeseen. In the warm response of wire I ask for forgiveness. Trapped in my own gaze, it’s all I have. (the purity of sorrow) The floor pushes me skyward, I run my finger’s tip around the edge of the afternoon, Hope to god it rings out in response.
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Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 3:32 PM UTC
Pure
Anguish poured over                its open and avoidable.                               He goes to the bathroom down the hall.                                              I’m so glad I                                              am not alone.
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Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 7:40 PM UTC
In Order to Combat Fear
An expanded meaning, referring variously to literal bodies and to the vegetative nervous system which controls vital functions. She has been made a constellation and is destined to outlast the contestants. The germs develop first in seven segments, some people may actually fall from their beds. When I was casting in these works the term took on suggestion of how one might view the work, gestures but also the placement and movement. It might have been a drag queen – Some well-formed whole constructed from something in you that is no longer functioning. When you dream about an accidental death of any person, that person’s death symbolizes Macrophobia.
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Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 1:39 PM UTC
Cut-up #2 (Placentals)
We were looking for an admonition. Trying to find the end of the tape. Now it’s like,         all we see is a dim image. I exist based on what my environment tells me I became the guardian of a great river. I see convictionless men around me, mere mortals. We have to purge the glamour. We dance around Slowly moving figures.
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Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 5:47 PM UTC
Iv
Dull throbbing twilight. I bit my tongue so hard it bled. A voice spoke: said she'll be in Europe, unmerged. I will be in Europe. Take this moment alone to hide behind the earth. Pain as an open door, forward motion encouraged. Written word repeated today: begin your _year_.     Robed in fluid, and in hurt, obsequious dead anchored In dusted pillars rise. ​ An object held motionless by the sun’s gaze. A vital outpouring of stillness, as ninety degrees of intensifying steps                             cascade like waterfalls.
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Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 5:51 PM UTC
Ataraxia
Lying teeth -          Creep                                 Dearer. - silence roars. The closer it contracts, further it draws away. Astonished to find You're still confined inside Your mind. Destroy the weaker and hide behind reticulum. In the realm of a hollow crown I absconded, endeavoured to uncover. I‘ve left myself behind, an inch beneath water                                      decorous A wisp of smoke as it climbs. Carry your shame, rise to the chime, an unfamiliar invitation. Bring your mind back around, around to this                                     callous. The room begins to gratify; You tax, obambulate,               depress.                                    diminished. Penduluming will never mollify,                            placate. The moment you appreciate,                Passing. - Treasure motive abhor being. Be succinct. Prove, Demonstrate.
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Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 7:18 PM UTC
Proprioception
I loathe to appear boring but I am. Mesmerising reflections Sordid depths pried for a sliver of truth. Geometric shells Fenestrative awakening enrapt you non-somnambulant. Suddenly I find attraction no longer active. It must be an affirmation I’m unsure of what Perhaps never to know.
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Nov 2, 2017
Nov 2, 2017 at 8:27 PM UTC
Living in a Room with No Corners