I hate that most of my feelings are based off you
the way I move
the way I live
I wish I could just delete
Yet I am here always writing about you
yet I am here always crying for you
they don't talk about how DV leaves you
we don't talk about how paranoid they leave you
we don't talk enough because we live in fear you know
they tell us to get over it
they tell us time heals
they tell us it's okay
but we don't talk about how at nights we can't breathe
sometimes we overeat
sometimes we can't think
sometimes we feel weak
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 10:40 PM UTC
I hope he stays away
late at night I think to myself
when I wake up is everything going to be okay?
How do you sleep?
Knowing you got someone out here fearing and begging on their knees?
I am hopeful that your name won't ruin my day!
I am hopeful that one day I can rebuild my name without changing a **** thang.
Please stay away!
I am doing better now than when I was with you, please don't hate!
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 10:23 PM UTC
I hate to cry
I hate to cry
I hate to cry
I hate to cry
I hate
to cry
To cry is what I hate
but at the end of the day,
I cry!
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 10:13 PM UTC
i am the oldest
and it *****
because when i hurt
i am just stuck
i have tears to hold back
my sister needs more than anything
after hearing all of that
we broke that generational trauma
we will never hear form our mama
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 7:49 PM UTC
haven’t thought of him,
of them should i say.
yesterday i missed them,
one more than the other.
it was misfit,
my eyes glisten
for him.
but he hates me,
so i shouldn’t be feeling.
is it crazy to admit i have
a wild fantasy of him,
them!
together with me….
i giggle out loud,
they would both **** me!
anyway,
wish i could write to both of them,
one electronically,
the other i have to bring out my
handwriting.
i love them both equally,
just like they hate me evenly!
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 2:31 PM UTC
haven’t been fully sober since the love of my life passed in 2020.
i went crazy.
i really thought he faked it,
tried to dig up his grave.
i was in such a daze, honestly i still think that way.
haven’t had the chance to grasp my reality.
jumped to the next man that was down to just chill and….
i thought everything was better being high,
what a lie.
bruised eyes and busted lips,
broken heart.
it is what it is.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 3:34 AM UTC
i just hate feeling
especially when i’m sad
the tears that come down
feels never ending
and sometimes i don’t even know why
all the bad memories
just keep spewing outta me
physically unbearable
i don’t wanna move
my bladder hurts
i hate being alone
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 3:21 AM UTC
i hit thirty one days sober,
i should celebrate!
i was a non stop smoker…
i thought i couldn’t,
here i am,
crying away.
i got anxiety cuz i had such a great day.
let me put it this way,
us addicts don’t talk much about how scared we are to relapse.
i’m scared to retry,
i’m scared to fallback.
what if i don’t make it this time…
my anxiety to others looks like i did that,
i need a hug right now but i don’t wanna get criticized….
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 3:08 AM UTC
i haven't washed my pillowcase,
you left your scent behind.
all the lies we both told,
but i never lied when i said "i love you."
i miss you,
we just can't see eye to eye.
it something i can't seem to understand,
i need to stop trying...
Jan 26
Jan 26, 2026 at 12:46 PM UTC
i don't believe you are done,
you like to play *** for tats.
i thought i was petty,
you beat me at that!
you just proved too me
where your head is at.
you are a man of many words,
they are all just stuck in that big head of yours.
"tag, you're it,"
what are we four?
i'm almost normal,
"bye felicia,"
is what you said to me.
i'm sober now and you can't impress me!
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 1:54 AM UTC