It’s hard to let
go when you
it was you
Was it a dream
my heart or
was there something
all the names
of the characters
that have graced
my stage over
the years but
I never forget
how each one
made me feel.
stuck in my
ways and I
too long in
to let new
eyes see the
burning in my soul.
for me alone,
it might come
when it’s dark
and no other
fires are visible,
I’ll let out a
little spark and smile
in the way only
someone who has
lost everything can.
The are secrets buried in the freckles on your elbow.
Stories, memories, dreams
All interwoven with epithelial cells and sunlight.
When I first realized I loved you
I found myself captivated by essence of star you carried in your skin
Like Sirius, embodied.
But now that my eyes have adjusted to your brilliance,
I instead ponder the depths of the tales each freckle could tell.
You are endless, intricate, effervescent man, you
Are your own night sky of constellations.
Tell me a story?
It’s been a long time coming
The day is finally here
A day I’m not sharing
Everyone is here for me
Well for us
A day I feel special
My name is on everyone’s lips
Well our names
A day I will always remember
I am dancing away my sorrows
Happy to start my forever
A day I bear a new name
I am crying tears of joy
Looking around in awe
A day I feel happiest
All my friends are here
To stare and wish me well
A day I look the prettiest
I’m happy I found you
I can’t stop smiling
A day I have no worries
Two have become one
I’m glad I chose you
A day we get our happily ever after
The dusk fog reminds
Me of walks home after I
Had just been broken.
You caused the water
Drops like condensation, on
My dripping burnt skin.
Just to come back for
Another round into your
Heat-stroke and cold lies.
I had been frozen,
In place whilst burning, welding
Onto the embers.
Left in a heap and
Waiting for the next person,
To mould me again.
inviting the mystery
to slide into view
wouldn't we all like to be
down in the pot holes
scratching at dark souls.
There are spaces in space
where every place fits the face
and a niche for us all to sit in.
The universe hangs by a thread
and the spider's stopped spinning
who's going to pray when
the thread breaks and
are we expecting a miracle?
I'm thinking that after the previous debacle
humanity has lost a lot of its sparkle
for most of the Gods
who are too old and bored by this family that scored an own goal.
If I had known the unknown was exciting
I would have turned off my lights and let the night in
As each piece fits into the jigsaw
the picture appears clearer
self discovery seems nearer
each piece becomes
harder to place
I want to kiss the nape of your neck
Follow the treasure trail to the Cape of regret
Be lost in your hair without any cares
Their tendrils of longing caress
Carried along by the rhythm of eternal tides
Floating in that ocean of dreams
My siren sings to me
Bringing visions of you in time and space
The smile on your face
The way you taste
The smell of your breath
Your essences washes away my fears
Scudding along on a surfboard of cares
I can do without.
You're willing to die for a country
That will exclude you from being able to serve.
You're willing to kill for a country
That still thinks a Bible is a valid argument.
You're willing to contribute to a conflict
That isn't as big a threat to your life
As the people you've vowed to protect the liberty of.
And you do it again and again
With a fraction of the respect patriots demand veterans are entitled to.
Because you've decided to put the needs of the complacent
Above your own human rights.
And you'll get no thanks from them,
Because they can't sleep easily at night
Unless they can rip off your clothing and see what's in your pants.
And if it doesn't add up to their image?
You can sacrifice your life for theirs and they'll still call you a freak.
A hollow body withered by dread,
A corpse walking with a beating heart,
But a beaten brain.
He comes from inside and the sun burns his eyes,
Before the dark indoors engulf him once again,
How long will he remain hidden this time?
For so long he has lived like this,
Though many will not notice.
For he smiles and laughs when there are people around him,
But cries inside for he is still lonely.
When day turns to night,
He turns to the ceiling and sees
A small glimmer of hope,
The shadow of a rope.
When they find him they'll be different,
"I never knew!" They'll say.
But of course it's too late already,
There's no going back now.
A hollow body withered by death,
A corpse with a silent heart,
A corpse with an empty brain.
you don't know what my handwriting looks like
i don't know what your yawn sounds like
you don't know my reaction to the end of my favourite film
i don't know your reaction to eating your favourite meal
i don't know what your hand feels like
and you don't know what mine feels like
we may not know everything
but we are still in love
I wait aimlessly for your arrival
Just to see your smile
To hold you in my arms
To keep you from the world's harm
As I sit waiting
That moment I am creating
When I can finally see you standing before me
How lovely would that be
I hear your car outside
Last time I saw you I cried
As I run to meet you
I realize our love is true
Our bodies meet with an embrace
And all I can feel is my heart race
We spend hours together
We're two birds of a feather
I enjoy every second I have sitting beside you
Butterflies I get from you, as if our love is still new
The way you say goodbye
And the way you cry
And hug me so tight
In your arms it feels so right
Kissing you for what I know is the last time for awhile
Oh, how I'll miss that smile
As I walk away from the only thing I've ever really known
Home doesn't even feel like home
All I can say is that I miss you, Bay
Knowing you're about 130 miles
you are split into two parts
two breaking halves of the moon,
one side of you drips with light,
this side bathes in the glory of the night
an illuminating curtain draping over my head
its beams searches for lost fingers in the dark
this is the side of you i wish to kiss until my
lips taste the stars
but you are split into two parts
two breaking halves of the fading moon,
you are also the shadowed, the hidden,
the most intriguing part of night
it's this side that you hide away that sears my soul
a part of you so gruesomely tucked in the
folds of the night as if it were ever to be revealed then
it would swallow you away from the rest of the world
but this is the part of you that i have loved,
the reason why i always come back
sometimes it takes half of me, sometimes even less than that
this is the part of you that lives within the both of us
it is our love,
appearing and disappearing in the phases of the moon
sometimes here entirely, sometimes half-way,
sometimes even less than that
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Any time of day, when mind wanders,
it's like the water...splashes...escapes,
and flows down the precipice...
it spreads, surrounds, and creeps
...in and out of us......water sustains
...but....it can also drown us...
we come across big or small rivers,
...feel their depth....our feet, as feelers,
in cool colors of silver, blue or emerald green
they don't roar...they just make ripples
on the surface, when a breeze blows,
....dancing our blues away, on tiptoes
then, there are colder streams,
darker....where anguish, despair and
...testing us....giving us choices...
some opt to float on the water,
thinking, none else matters~~~~~~
then, surrender to the rushing current,
.....when they could sway, or play
they could waltz with the water...
the wise ones dance...fight, with some art,
they do freestyle.....breast....or back,
or the wavy butterfly stroke,
til they find a most welcome shallow part...
for those fed up...and trapped
...at some point, they give up
surrendering to the force of the current
they abandon their body and soul,
with nothing left behind,
...........just an absolute
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Copyright July 25, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
I knew this would end badly.
I never expected it to hurt so much though.
My heart physically aches.
My days feels oddly empty without you.
Yet I see you every day at work.
I guess this is why they say not to get involved with coworkers.
You listened to me.
I listened to you.
You know more about me than even my family.
We took turns kissing each other.
This scared me, to be honest.
You were only my second kiss, but the first enjoyable one.
I miss our endless conversations.
Our rants about frustrating days and insignificant encounters.
Few things were held back.
Yet there are a few things you never told me.
They were for a different level of intimacy I guess...
You had more self control than I did.
I spilled everything about my life.
You know every messed up detail of my life.
I laid it out in the open and you didn't.. why didn't you
I guess I understand why not.
I messed with your heart and head.
I crushed everything that was there.
Now I think you hate me, or at least most of you does.
I think you also still like me.
I cannot get over you.
Why do you have to leave for an entire month.
The military keeps taking you away from me.
Maybe it's for the best.
I want you to fall in love with someone.
Someone who will not toy with your heart.
But I hate to see you flirt with other girls.
I feel like I am already being replaced.
How much did you really like me?
Or did you just like the challenge of trying to get some from the Christian girl.
I hate that I am so upset about this.
Why did I fall for you?
Why did I keep coming back to you?
You make me furious.
I want you to text me, or call me, something.
Even though I said we shouldn't talk.
I want your willpower to be weaker than mine.
I miss you Mike.
today we had
the really deep fudgy type
the one that the taste stays
in your mouth for a long time after
so that you still think you
are eating chocolate two hour late
the type your mum used to make
and have waiting for you after school
sitting there on the table, with a glass
of cold fresh milk, the type that made
the worst day of schoolyard politics
be forgotten as you took that first bite
that is what we had for breakfast today
that sort of chocolate cake.....
I can still taste it now.....
You're blind when you see me,
I'm on my knees and broken.
I remind you who I really am,
Remember these words I've spoken.
Unshakable you see me,
You see me standing tall.
Like a statue made of stone,
You see a rock who'll never fall.
Unbreakable you see me,
You see me effortlessly bold.
Like the stars will always shine,
You see power you think I hold.
Unstoppable you see me,
You see me fighting without fear.
Like relentless worriers conquer,
You see a hero who never sheds a tear.
I make my strength shine bright,
Shine to cover up my weakness.
You can't see past my Confidence,
You refuse to see me my meekness
Even stone can't stand forever,
The world will beat it down.
I remind you I'm only human,
The world can make me drown.
Even stars can't shine so bright,
So bright to shine through the clouds.
I remind you I'm just another face,
Another face in amongst the crowds.
Even heroes can't withstand all,
Hold the weight of the world alone.
I remind you I can't hold on forever,
Excessive trials will break my backbone.
I refuse to let you believe,
Believe who you see is perfect.
A pedestal I don't deserve,
And don't EVER say I'm worth it.
Sometimes i just get really sad,
I just did.
It started burst me into crying,
I felt really hurt inside my chest,
And at that time i realized,
I am not alone,
I am lonely,
Even though i surrounded
by bunch of people,
My heart just felt so empty,
Like i just lost something or someone
I don't know,
I don't know what it is nor who it is.
Do you realize what you do? Whenever you delete one of us?
You use minutes of your life to write us up, Isn't that such a bust?
We wait around patiently in your drafts, possibly abandoned or alone
Hoping for that day where we will be finished and complete, your profile would be our home!
But there was something about us that you didn't like
Instead of revising and editing, you clicked "DELETE". You gave up the fight!
Change us! Revive us! Turn us into something that will please you!
Afraid of what people may think of us? Then allow us to seal their lips like glue!
We will be whatever you want us to be, but PLEASE give us a chance!
Are you a coward? Are you too lazy? You have everything you need in advance!
Don't let us go so quickly! Please don't put us to shame!
Or do you only see us as empty words with no meaning on a blank white page....
For so long, for a community,
That values the ineffable wonder
Of a wordsmith's creations, intended to
Repair himself and the world with bullets of
And here you are.
Like/Dislike, matters not,
So long as we value each others work,
And the the heart echoes within
What the eyes read and the mouth whispers.
The array and disparity of your names,
Each name a poem
In its own right.
So I resubmit a question for your consideration,
The answer is now known,
The answer is all of us.
Who's Who In Poetry
T'is a curious thing,
these verbal peddlers, tribal members,
famously well known to no one,
perhaps at best,
a kindred few, fellow-travelers.
Each a troop,
bloodied, purple hearted,
anonymous unto each other,
yet all bonded intimates,
in solitary struggle united,
yet sea-parted by the very nature
of the solitude of composition.
All poets are Cain scar-marked,
purposed for everyone to see,
a warning to rabbled boors,
cherish these flawed ones,
gentle these frail but gritty,
the Lord has tasked them
to be prophets in one tongue untied,
undo the strife of Babel's division.
Be the harpooners
of the unexamined life,
with unfettered rhapsody,
comfort caress us,
exhort the loopy
to light their illusionary candles,
turn the sad eyed lowlanders
into crinkly eye-lined smilers.
With clinical observation,
dense and demanding,
make us laugh at
the comedy of our situation,
teach us our free-to-see peep show,
reveal, unseal us
with tart empathy!
For who's who in poetry
is all of us!
saviors and failures,
recorders and decoders,
night writers of the oohs and aahs
of dreams and nightmares.
When this poet cannot,
no longer, anymore,
tastes his poems upon your lips,
keep your poems within his heart,
then he breathes no more,
and becomes one who was,
because of you,
Even more true today, than four years ago.
I'm a girl
who climbed mountains
and when i reached the top
no one praised me
no one knew
the pain of the sting
on my heart
I'm a girl
who has loved and who has lost
who has given and not received
who wanted and never got
who blew her shot
at her dreams
because of the things she had to survive.
sometimes it's too bitter
I'm a girl who loves the moon.
I'm a girl who grew up too soon.
I'm a girl who was used for lust.
And a girl who now has no trust.
I'm a mess
a butterfly who flies back
to her cocoon
because she feels like a worm inside
small and scared
and just doesnt want to again be tried
her body is hers and hers alone
this she repeats
as she relives it again
the way that my heart beats around you
the way our culture likes things done
the fast gets there early the early bird always wins
i was always rushing looking for things
never thought i could learn something different
but then i met you and now i understand
how beautiful the world could be
Please read more. Order your copy of The Writers Room at Justendavila.com
Thirteen roses in a row
Red rain falls,
Don't you know
Down the window
Pain it goes
In the gutters
Through the nose
Where's the thunder
When it flows...?
The gauze that's stained
What difference snow?
The same as pain
When it melts
It's just rain.
It's a howling in the eaves
It's the cult the
No one cares.
No one grieves.
Long jeans & sleeves.
Razors are a water slide
On track like
A carny ride
Over arms & over thighs
The pain inside
It's an ocean
Where we sail
A coin that can be
Heads or tails
A lover's letter,
Or junk mail
A piece of garbage.
when i hear the word home
i dont think of a brick house
or the furniture that lie inside
i think of my sisters and my mom
i think of my cat waiting behind the door
i think of poem book in my purse
i think of my best friend
i think of my young renegade jacket
i think of my collection of concert tickets
when i think of home
i think of the people and things that make me happiest
i think of the things that connect to my favorite memories
i connect home to comfort and happiness
i dont connect it with brick walls and broken furniture
it may bring safety but it doesnt bring me joy
and home to me means joy
I wish to age like a wrap-around porch
In a thunder storm,
While generations tell tales,
A porch of blinking stars,
A place to run out of rain,
With wooden steps for deliveries,
With ascending and descending friends.
I will age like a tree,
Grow stronger in the wind;
Give shade and shelter to all
Beneath my ring-aged limbs.
I wish to age as a river bends,
Contiguous with all shores;
Floating everyone I know
On eternal waters defying death,
A current winding with no rest.
I will age like a star,
Burning bright, giving light,
Something to reach for.
I wish to age like a mountain,
With secret caves and riches.
And you can rock your soul
Around, over or through,
Solid, snow-capped summit,
I will age as the moon,
In stages, full and new;
Each night different,
As all who age will do.
I'm writing to let you know
That I don't have anything else to give
You took away all my hope
What more do you want of me
The few breaths that I take?
They're not even for me I swear
I just don't want them to break
The ones who still care about me
Somehow you weren't able to push them away
I guess they're stronger than I'll ever be
But I don't want you to make them ache
Hurt me bruise me take my soul
But let my body here
For them , not me , I'm miserable at my best
But I can't let them live in fear
We can live together
Just don't make me die
you know the look
when you feel eyes on the side of your face
but you're not completely sure
so you turn
instantly catching them
ice blue eyes
and then quickly they're gone
looking somewhere else
like the floor or
out the window or
pretending to be deep in thought
you know that they've been looking
because you've caught them twice before
You can't hide truth in the eyes,
they are too clear, too open,
like glass-paned windows.
When you were turned towards me that night,
(moments before you walked away), reassuring me that
nothing had changed, that you weren't going anywhere.
I almost believed you.
Even when I had felt the difference in your speech,
words hand-picked and spoken with the intent to convince--
an unfamiliar tongue you had never used with me before.
Still, I almost believed you.
Right until I look up into your eyes and noticed--
distinctly perceived--the difference in the tides of your iris,
the pattern disturbed by the truth that had penetrated it.
Your eyes suddenly became foreign to me.
Unrecognizable; and yet I could now see into them clearly;
and I could see through them, as through a window;
they closed to conceal, long-lashed shades drawn.
But in vain--the glass had already been shattered.
as the flower bloomed
brighter days were promised
in love letters and hopeful kisses
everything fell in to place
we made and experienced
something so beautiful
as it grew — matured
we thought of futures
our jaded happy minds
longed to embrace
but as the flower wilted
we turn back to the time it bloomed
forgetting to take out the weed
neglecting its need of water
asking what ifs
we failed to realise
that its destroy
did not start when it bloomed
it started when we first planted it
and then we realised
it was planted on toxic soil
we began to realise,
it was never beautiful in the first place
We're all watching the same show with different glasses
Each pair constantly changing with the light through them passes
Born with a fresh pair, brand new,
We don't always get to choose what our glasses do
Others will bend them, straighten them,
Sometimes polish, or even break them
And once changed they can never go back
Just wabi-sabi your best to Kintsugi the crack
We'll forget that our glasses look differently,
And others might not agree with what we see
So try to try on other's glasses too,
And glimpse the world as others do
You might see a dent and say, "Hey that's like mine!
We're not so different you and I"
All seeing something different watching the same show,
We all feel the same things about the lives only we know
Naked and alone
I keep myself here
Where he placed me
So long ago
I'm keeping myself here
Because it feels like it's the
only thing I've ever known
The one thing he silently
taught me through his actions
I can't seem to undo
all that he did
He trapped me
What will it take for
me to feel free
What will it take for
me to just give in
Why did he have
to hurt me
One day he will be tormented that he did not keep you
You will continue to blossom
He cannot keep up
You will be a rarity in this dull world
He will stalk you and cry over you
You are with someone who deserves you
He regrets letting you go with each passing day
You smile and do not think of him
You are happy