moon, you brutal lover,
keeping all of my secrets
yet never sharing yours.

still, i find comfort when I'm with you;
my solitude and sorrow
merging with your soft light
slowly turning into one

show me yourself
i need you right now
i'm fading away

don't be shy,
you're the one
who knows who i am

because tonight
your company is my only medicine

Don't cry no more,
my beautiful sunflower;
let's spin in the rays of sun,
let me see a straw hat crown your gorgeous smile.

Hold my fingers, whisper in my ear,
snuggle with me in the sleeping bag;
let us pray to the fallen stars,
for a dream I hope will last.

And when winter comes, I'll make
a gorgeous castle, and do whatever it takes
to keep you safe and warm, my love,
so you can last an eternity in my arms.

In return, you can lead me to the
surface, help me grasp some air,
make me float in this endless ocean,
and show me how to breathe again.

i could be the best actor
pretend i don't care

but it's all in vain
when you are not
looking at my stage

and you feel so lonesome
you're always cold
want to, but can't go bold
you don't feel so awesome

your nails grip your tights
and you hurt yourself, so it will hurt less
can't handle all of this stress
can't seem to find the lights

and each and every day it hurts more and more
you lock it in yourself, the pain,
but you know you can never sustain
all the sore and the gore

put the headphones in your ears
screaming louder, the words of the song
but you know the song wasn't as long
it's a way to let out all of your tears

and every day you say you're fine
and each morning you wake up tired
but a trigger in your head had already fired,
nobody understood, it was a sign

and all of your colour has been drained,
nothing makes you wish you were awake,
and every day, all over again, you break:
but your ****** expressions have been well trained

so don't tell me I'm alright
don't tell me there's hope for humanity
this - all - is insanity;
don't tell me the world is a pleasant sight

and don't convince me otherwise;
everyone has their own meaning to life,
even if it's their own ******* knife,
or if they choose to rise


and I don't have a **** note

for you or your friends

because the world's posioned and everyday, for someone, it ends

....and nobody has the antidote

face after face,
i put an X on your face.
cross out all of you wonders,
one wonder after another.
drown you in the spine fluid;
blend you in with the memories.
do not miss me, for i
was just a little phase.

hidden, hidden
riddle me a riddle
your nails so black
rest on your face
while you're looking away,
a wondering gaze

it's like i can almost hear your mind
struggling to figure out;
"four feet, one heart, no spines, a turning clock",
you try the taste of the words

it is where I'm taking you, and me

together

one heart,
I'll do it
in the name
of love

maybe it all winds up
to me being unloveable,
to my rotten core;
maybe i beg to be put
in a discarded pile, never
anyone's first choice

maybe my eyes mirror a wish
to be hurt, to be twisted, to be used;
maybe my lips whisper
that i may never truly belong
to this world

and when my bones turn into ash,
when i'm no longer here
but flowers bloom
from the traces of my soul
on a muddy ground, with tiny
bugs, dancing across wet leaves
birds chirping, sun shining,
will i ever be enough?
will someone glimpse at
my earthly remains, and think
to themselves:
"what a gorgeous blossom,
this plant has!"

and when you look me in my eyes,
do you see me for who i am?
are these friendships and loves
all going to pass me by,
leave me to die alone?

am i no-one's first choice?

were so many friendships
unwillingly from my side
written through a lens, that means
to morph me and sick fantasies?
am i just a creature of
****** nature, with no respect
to my interests, my art and
my thoughts?
am i too complex to digest?

or is my taste just that bitter?

oh, but how
foolishly easily do i love
and fall for colourful eyes;
yet how foolishly quick
do i ruin it,
and watch the flames engulf
everything that could've
gone right

everything that could've
gone right,
will it all fall down?
am i building this
just to close myself
in my early tomb?

if everything else fails,
could i ever stop myself
from loving again?

am i just waiting,
like a loyal dog,
gnawing at any bones you throw
wagging my tail at what you say,
am i just waiting,
just to be hurt again?

please,
i opened my heart
and everything pours out
please,
do not let it
spill out.

please,
do not let me
be hurt again.

i've been fighting horrible
battles with death, with my
mind constantly overflowing, spilling;
but

in my lifetime
i came across people who loved me,
someone loved me;

and that's enough.

am i really that bad?
punish me with all i deserve
all the sins i preserve
please, be mad
i've hurt you and
i am dizzy all the time
spill the content of this land
my galaxy intertwined mind

nothing is right
can't collect the strings of my mind

i am to do whatever you say
and i know i've been bad
but the world is so sad
incomparable to your eyes gray

i'm not myself any longer
i tried to be stronger
but a mere walker can't overwalk fate
when standing before hell's gate

blurry, the clouds are so blurry
i try to walk them but i keep falling
destiny's eyes keep rolling
Fortunae's flurry

i keep rushing into things
i keep falling into abeyance
i keep thinking of my old wings
i keep noticing your absence

my skin's not bruised enough
for you to forgive, is it?
my heart's not rough
with sadness it is lit

don't come near
but don't leave me
a single shed tear
isn't enough to see

so, please, punish me with all I deserve,
all the sins I preserve,
a mere walker can't over walk fate
when standing before hell's gate

somewhere in the woods
a wolf is singing his lonsome song
to the moon changing his moods
a love story, thousand of years long

i get closer as i listen
set off green balloons to the galaxy
filled with nothing but fallacies
a glimpse of hope alighten

is this a dream?
is it a nightmare?
because, i know it can seem
like the green balloons are
filled with faults and cries
but success is born from failed tries

so, will we ever bloom?
all i ever think of's my doom
because my soul is black,
because i can never go back.

I see a silver glint
on your wrist, the
blood merely falling
off your lips

dropping a drop,
  one, two,
falling at the floor,
   three, four,
your eyes gazing at mine,
   five, six,
-do you still hate me,
      ...even now?-

when you opened
your skin
a trail of
quicksilver ran
and I heard the sound;

  seven, eight,
your brown, golden and green eyes,
  nine, ten,
I don't feel very
real, right now


   nine, eight
you once were happy
   seven, six
could we go back in time?
    five, four,
you put the blade back down
    three, two,
I love you as much as I do now,

   one; I am still alive.

pretty, pretty
what a pity;
they say it's pretty stupid,
but i got hit by Cupid

pretty silly,
and i like it, really

i hid in the dark,
i'm sorry it consumed you too.

soft footsteps in my ears
a melodic pain, in my head
her gaze at my back
and her hand
on my shoulders

and so, death sits
next to me,
keeping me company

and so, death weeps and laughs,
it's driving me mad.
her hazy cries and whimpers;
they're tearing me apart

she mimics my gait
i'm losing my faith
i'm starting to steep,
i've never been so weak

oh my, oh my,
how deeply i want to die;
it's around here, it's over there,
i'm having an affair with death!
but he beats me & i'm scared,
my eyes fall out, my cheeks get crushed,
oh my, oh my,
what a beautiful lie!
to disappear & not exist,
but to live, i persist;
because i love you, i do not,
oh, death, you really ****.
your skull is dull,
your eyes are dark,
your bones that touch
my crystal necklace,
and my amethyst lungs
filled with empty awe.
you repeat yourself,
over and over again
it ***** me in,
your words claim
"it'll be over", but
it will be over.
oh my, oh my,
what a beautiful lie;
my reflection stares back
as i down another bottle.
not even smokes help,
instead of high there's a fog,
i do not eat, i eat too much,
im really sensitive,
no, im not.
oh! i am sorry,
but not for what i claim,
my other side's
got the best of me.
i wonder where
is the rest of me.

i have always shown
my love in odd little ways

tonight, i
show it through crying
my eyes out
while you're not even
aware
of the tears i spill for you;

i show it through an
odd message, not quite
angry, a little bit sad -
if you knew me well,
you'd know it
writes on my skin,
crumbles through my
throat,
ribs,
guts,
salty cheeks
and glassy eyes

i show it by
ripping myself apart
and letting you devour me,

but you turn away
and i go to waste
while my bones are drying
and the meat is getting
ripped off by different beaks

and my blood returned to the earth
and my teeth are still in the bushes
and my fingernails still sunk in my skin

and my heart still between your lips

Baby, the sun is setting down
And I'm done taking chances;
I promise not to make a sound,
Let's communicate with soft glances.

I've been on a run, just like you
A getaway from me,
Just like you.

I'd like to leave a note,
A soft goodbye.

But Fate won't let me,
Said we tied a knot.

You and me,
Versus all of the odds.

Nobody knows,
But neither do we.

For you and I,
We just used to be.

And so, I'll be calm for now
With the knowledge that sings me to sleep,
A sweet lullaby, for just you and me.

This time,
I will let Fate
Do her own thing

And sing me to sleep,
Amongst the salty tears.

I'm feeling
Like an empty shell
But the core
Of nothingness
Is made out of
Pure sorrow

Empty
Is that the word?
It doesn't describe me
Hell, nothing does...
So I'll just
Keep doing
What I know best;

It's pretending
That I'm normal, even though
I am well aware that I'm not
And I was never near being normal
And I cannot be described by normal words

Empty...
Nostalgic. Melancholic. Sad. Depressed. Abyss. Apathy. Darkness.
Pretending to be
All that I'm not.
But, I don't know, what am I?

Empty...
Empty words can describe me.
But I cannot choose them myself;
If I could, what would I choose?
Maybe...
Dead?

I'm tired.
Exhausted.
Empty, inside.
Dead, inside.
Unable to be
The real me.

And it's wearing me down.
Every time I disappoint you.
Every time I'm empty.
Every time I'm not what I should be.
When I'm not enough.
And when I'm too much.

Empty words, empty head, empty promises, empty purpose, empty meaning, empty feelings.
Is that what you bring me down to?
Is that how you see me?
Empty, of humanity?

The words are echoing in my ears.
Empty.
That's the room I sit in.
That's the life I lead.
Maybe that's me.
Perhaps it is, when you don't see what I see.

Empty.
Happy, joyful, worryless.
Perfect, pretty, shallow.
Skillful, amazing, badass.
Crazy, mad, fun, reckless.
...but empty.

It's a mark you've made.
Are you happy?
That I'm empty?
That I'm turning into you?
Are you empty?
But am I?

A lot of people see me differently,
Like I just wrote.
Each line for one me.
Wait, I write?
Why didn't you write it down?
Because I had to write, EMPTY, twice?

So are you looking
At this empty moon tonight?
Are you staring at the starless sky?
Are you partying in your empty house?
Are you crying, in your room, or in  your empty soul?

Have you been feeling empty recently?
Is it contagious?
Do you feel sorry?
Did you mean everything you told me?
Did this world mean to hurt me?

Am I empty?
Is the world empty?
What's my empty purpose?
Is it to be empty?
Is it to be me,
Or is it to be you?

i admire him.
from the first moment
i caught his glimpse,
i've admired him.
a will so sheer and strong.
no armour would resist.
it's just that, when our eyes meet,
i feel a connection that runs so deep.
intelligent, benevolent and true,
these words are for you.
the loyal friend, the genuinest soulmate.
all i do, is for you.
i hope you get the meaning
behind all of the things i do;
i wish we'd already meet again,
so that my lips would never
feel so lonely again.
so my empty gaze
would have something to look happily at.
so you and i could
be together, forever,
as we'd promised each other,
time and time again.

another day has passed.
a day closer to the black sky.
and you read poetry today.
you read a book today.
But, what trace have you left on this planet, today?

Who will acknowledge it? Will you be misunderstood? Will a young boy with curly brown hair and silver eyes weep over your words for a hundred years, while listening to our now vintage songs?

Will anyone remember you? Will you matter, after the Earth makes hundreds of thousands of spins around the Sun, which perhaps is circling around something bigger? Will you reincarnate? Will you be alive? Will you just disappear, or will you stick around?

Is there hope for humanity, is there hope for immortality? Will they enable people to live forever, to find a way to break nature, a year after you die? Will people still follow the same traditions, as they do today, will families have lunch together like their ancestors used to have?

Will there be depressed children, stressing and crying and cutting themselves because nobody would believe when they say "It's too much"? Will people still be stuck in the circle of melancholy and nostalgy, held captured by the never-ending routine when the first thing they do in the morning is ask themselves " Is this worth it? Do I really have to go to work? Perhaps I should end this, maybe it'll be easier then?"

Will people still break under their masks that they hold with trembling hands, grasping the clay so hard that their nails break and their fingers bleed, just so their kids couldn't discern what's underneath it?

Will everything stay the same and nothing improve? Will there be a catastrophy and expunge you, the one writing this, the gorgeous stranger you met on the street on a cold winter evening five years ago? Will it also wipe out your elementary school teacher, wipe out the florist from who you bought that flower for your first love and a rose for your mother?

Will people change, mentally and physically evolve along with our brains? Will the names we have to learn by heart - Darwin, Watt, Dante, Boccaccio and Einstein become irrelevant comparing to the inventions that are yet to come? Will somebody prove they were wrong, will somebody speak badly of them? Will someone still adore Dante's Heaven and Hell as much as I do? Will people analyse poetry the way I do? Will anyone ever feel the way you do?
Will anyone ever make a decision like you did, will anyone look up to you?

Is there a reason to be stressed and depressed, when all of this won't last? Is there a point in searching for the meaning of life rather than picking a reason to live that satisfies you both mentally, emotionally and physically?

Will people have passion and hate and freedom of expression, will they be bold or will they become faded? Lost? Encouraged or enraged?

Well you'll never know.

And that's hard to grasp.

and even in the simplest moments,
i love you.
maybe it's corny to say, but
without ups and downs,
there would be no heartbeat drawn
in our sketch of life.
when the hills get weary
and all the buildings melt down,
i will still love you,
forever, as now.

and i will still remember
that carbonara you made me
or the flowers you picked out for me,
or when you held me while i cried
in sad, as in happy moments of our time.
don't pick another flower,
just because it screams.
for i will let you demolish my petals
and sing you to sleep.
i will cut myself with my own thorns,
twisting them inside,
just so i could spend a moment
in your soft hand, never again harmed.
whether it's lilo and stitch, that i'm
crying about
or all of the things i ruined,
and my horrible times;
it's comforting to know
i've got your arms
to hold me when i
inevitably
fall apart.

but what's the cost?
i'm picking the good choice,
so why is it picking back at me?

Ever been happy so much,
You cried?

Ever been sad so much,
You laughed?

Yeah,
I love so much that I hate
I hate, so I must love
I'm a living mess
Who am I, wandering this place?

And know that I mean what I say,
I say what I know
But I know that not knowing anything
Is what I know the best.

A mess, tangled in wires
Of unsorteable emotions and
Unrecognized behaviours
Unknown thoughts,
Uncommon, just another head in the clouds.
Who are you to change this world?

A living contradiction.

To be or not to be?
To live, or not to live?
I know the unknowable thoughts

Because everyone knows what they do not know.
Everyone has their reason to live,
Or not to live.
So I said let it be!

So you can proudly say,
»I know the unknown!«

So you can always say,
»I know the unknown!«

He stood on the hill with his cap turned backwards,
And it made no logic at all
Since the sun was hitting his eyes, but he didn't seem to care
For the orange line, over his face

And yet, when I approached closer
He seemed further away, and the galaxy was spreading across his face
It looked like a magnificent burn
Which he got
From dreaming
Too much

The sun turned black and the boy was no more.
Now, the only thing I could see in front of me was a shade...
Not like I could describe it, since it was a shade of fear seen from my eyes.
I wasn't looking with my eyes, yet with my soul alone.

A discovery far more greater than what I've known my whole life.

So I, naturally, search for Hope and Dreams
My Ideals, too
Yet
I only found Illusions
Lying broken on the crimson floor
As the Life and Thought beat it up

But then a darkness far greater than all of the others came.
Really, it can't be seen with your eyes, so you need to look with your soul.
Blacker than the venta black.
Just a deathly black.

It was Him, for sure. Not Him as the God, but the one who takes your hand at the end of your suffering.
And so, Illusion's hand was taken
While Life and Thoughts spit on the ground and disappeared,

Death embraced me and him.

It was far more comfortable than I'd thought it would be;
An indisputable peace found only within your heart.
It's an irony, but it shine so bright
With it's darkness
That we both knew we were finally safe.

And the boy?
Oh, well he sat on the ground.
Took a sip of time
Like he always does, from time to time.

He looked at me, absorbing
All of my questions
Changing his form to however I
Had imagined him at that moment

And just when I thought I had caught up with him, he'd transform yet again.

Then it hit me.
He was Illusions himself;
And just when I wanted to
Embrace him and make him confirm,

Just like Hopes, Dreams, and
All of my Ideals...

He broke at that moment.

And all I'm left with
Is this blinding darkness
Sparkling with it's sweet venom;

I realise life is more and less that I had ever guessed.

Illusions are not to be trusted.

Because Illusions always break.

broken glass in my ****** hands
and everything we've been through
it cuts me deeper
my broken heart
in your hands,
i fall
apart

our masks crashed on the floor
losing interest in the stars
we're walking away from our dreams
we'll walk off from the galaxy

i might numb the pain down
i might burn the sorrow away
i might scream the desperation away
i might make the misery drown

let's fall face down to the floor
let's dance off a cliff
and then fly away
and then dissolve away

let's wake up,
or let's never wake up again

let our tears light our way
or come into the way of our light.

let me numb the pain away
let me walk the stars
let me visit the sun
and inhabit the moon

let me never
ever
feel
this
again