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Apr 2015 · 569
Smile
SexySloth Apr 2015
the best and brightest ones
make a spark course through your veins
And you become a firework
Exploding with inexplicable joy
Dec 2014 · 7.3k
My Grandfather's Garden
SexySloth Dec 2014
Evening light is gentle, slow
Caressing leaves, metal roofs, soil
Plants, flowers, pavements and gates
Clouds are the mothers - they shield us
Lest the sun shines too much.

Take a breath and look around;
The sweet and tranquil garden will take it away.
All colour blend in synchronised harmony;
Blues and browns, pinks and whites
Crossing into and over each other like
oil paints,
Warm, welcoming, beautiful.

It is soothing - the sound of nothing
That disrupts; razes; hates
Disturbs; curbs quiet insight;
One's imagination is the lone
source of maximum sound
That vibrates through the garden.

My grandfather, my grandmother's brother,
Smiles as though the sun shines through his teeth
Dresses in a pale blue shirt
Black shorts
Both well-worn
Ready to play
some basketball.

Oh, the joy, the fun
The refreshment arising from this game in a courtyard
In grandfather's garden
Among young trees, leaves and other green growth.
There stands a home by hand made
Basketball stand,
A concrete base with metal support hands
Floppy strings of hoop
To shoot the ball into.

The garden has been bathed, it is fresh
It is refreshed.
Grandfather demonstrates, I listen and follow,
To throw the ball into the hoop
With precision and care; throw some force
Into the air.
The ball dances around the circle
then drops to the concrete floor.

We take turns
As I throw and grandfather returns
9/10 of the time my aim's bad
but the ball grandfather throws, I actually catch!
(Or it will tumble on wet soil)

Exciting, the thumping
of rubber ball against ground;
Keen eyes and agile hands and feet
To catch the stray ball;
With swift movements the ball flies!
From sideways, afar and near,
Into the hoop successfully, finally.

Back into the house we go,
As the sun leaves for home.
The garden prepares for night;
So do grandfather and I;
Grandfather washes up; I talk to
Grandmother in the garden;
waiting for night, to
fall
fall
fall,
into infinite darkness -
poignant memories
Originally written on Dec 9, 2014.
Dec 2013 · 693
Why I Said Nothing
SexySloth Dec 2013
my lips pressed together
pushing away words i would've spoken
so easy, so straightforward
but they never came out
for they'd never take a place
in your ears.

so I said nothing and just admired you,
because you were simply beautiful.
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
The Wind Points That Way
SexySloth Dec 2013
the old moon smiles at me
every night as I walk on the lonely beach
where hundreds of ships has washed ashore
and thousand feet have walked upon
cold wind blows from the waters crashing
on the white dull sand
bringing promise of freedom,
a sweet yet sickly feeling erupts in my stomach
I doubt whether my wishes will come true.

whenever the winds blows, I look at that way,
but never towards my house, or the town,
because all I want to see is a faraway adventure
just within reach, if I could grasp the star
that sits silently and still in the navy blue sky
beckoning me to follow and find
my own journey, as long as I run away
leaving nothing but the last traces of
my light footsteps,
wanting them to be washed away by
the coming tide.
just like how I hope all memories
of this place
of my entire existence here,
will be erased,
as I need room for new acquaintances, dangers, exploration,
feelings, discoveries, tastes, smells
sights, sounds to come and stay

when I leave to travel where
The Wind Points That Way.
I always think of the title before penning the poem.
Dec 2013 · 1.9k
Guy at Donut Shop
SexySloth Dec 2013
He caught me by surprise
I never expected to blush
when an abrasive, goth dude
said my *** was cute

His clothes are all black,
as black as his hair,
and his heels are as high
as the moon in the sky

He is a criminal
and I am terrified
but more so of how hot
he looks when he talks

He has a beautiful face
so perfect in all proportions
and I am sure that I may
be turning very gay

He looks hot as a woman too
and my cheeks flush when he
dances with that sass
I have a ***** thanks to his ***

He is so funny
not in the usual way
but it's funny how things got
when I feel in love with the guy from the donut shop.
A fanfiction of a fanfiction of Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan.
Inspired by Vee's fanfic titled 1994 where Levi is this goth dude who is a cross dresser and Eren and him fall in love and it's so ******* unexpected and real you just have too many feelings until you stop breathing.

It's extremely exciting and very ****. And funny too.
Dec 2013 · 837
One to Ten (10 word poems)
SexySloth Dec 2013
1
I don't miss you
if you don't miss me.

#2
What better to think about
other than you, is naught.

#3
I cry to my pillow everyday
but no memories fade.

#4
I still smell you
in paper, nostalgic memories and dreams.

#5
I stop looking at clouds
because I'll find you not.

#6
2 evens and one odd make
A three digit number

#7
I don't like you that way.
Just like talking only.

#8
A full cycle separates us,
but I don't really care.

#9
I am a lunatic
this is me, missing people everyday.

#10
I'm living the start of forever
as if you're dead.
A series of 10 word poems.
Dec 2013 · 488
Solitary Tales
SexySloth Dec 2013
I'm alone because you're not here.

**** I'm lonely

and I miss you.

A lot.


PLEASE COME BAAAAAAAAAACK
(and you can hear my desperate)
Dec 2013 · 1.1k
The Fine Things
SexySloth Dec 2013
Surprising how much I abhorred them,
they made me cringe inside.
But now I love those
little things, they make me burst with joy.

Your bony fingers used to make
my skin conjure up little bumps
Now, I think they are so beautiful
creating majestic works of art.

Your long black hair almost covered
your arched eyebrows.
Thought it was a terrible haircut,
Now, I'd rather you let them down.

your beady little eyes
moved in sync with the curling
of your thin lips,
whenever you made a sarcastic or cheesy
remark.
they used to creep me out,
now, I think that makes me like you better.

the shape of your clothes molded around
your small frame,
I always secretly thought
you looked good (whispers great)
in formal.

Those things I thought ugly
Became beautiful, sweet memories
that make up, add up
to = you.
Dec 2013 · 2.0k
Loving a Stranger
SexySloth Dec 2013
Love - it does not necessarily mean romance, or
silly, promised-filled, tragedies like Romeo and Juliet's,
or shallow, innocent love of teenagers, who are just starting to experience
what it's like and want to know more;

Love can mean the kind you feel for people
you care about, like your parents,
your siblings, your friends...
People whom you'd love unconditionally.
And those people probably love you back
despite your flaws and endless mistakes,
they'd forgive you
and sometimes,
they try to help you get on the right path
and correct those flaws so that
You become a better person.

But what does loving a stranger mean?
Isn't that how we all came to be?
Your mother loved a stranger, and got you.
Her mother loved a stranger and loved your grandfather,
and his father loved a stranger, your great-grandmother...

This beautiful cycle of loving strangers begins our time on Earth.

How do you know that you love a stranger?
Firstly, you might think that their fingers are rather bony
and maybe they way they stand are a little odd,
and the way they walk make you cringe inside 'coz it's awkward?
And their hair is a little too long, when they say a joke,
their lips curl up at the top and their eyes flit upwards
and you feel so uncomforable looking at them.
                     Slowly, you realise though...
after talking to them a little more,
becoming better acquaintances,
and then friends,
you don't notice those 'flaws' anymore (they were never things I should criticise in the first place)
In fact, you start to love them, and like it when they do that.
It's a unique part of them that you want to keep seeing.
You feel guilty and sorry for even hating them in the first place,
because afterall, they are beautiful!

            Lastly, when you depart,
you know you really love them because
           you'll miss those tiny details even more
since you're never going to see those lovely beauties again.
*(Oh, how I regret not fully appreciating them!)
Dec 2013 · 1.1k
so carefree and simple, huh?
SexySloth Dec 2013
I march up to the front door
of a red-bricked house
vast skies and soft, wispy clouds drifting above... my gaze
shifts below, to the brown door. This house looks lovely
and so does the door.
I am somewhere in Wales,
it's cold but 3 knocks and a kind woman invites me in,
warmth be the one that saves my freezing skin;
hot chocolate to warm my insides and relax my mind.
My wonderful aunt leaves me to rock by the fireplace,
after some time,
I will leave again to play with my friends.
SexySloth Dec 2013
Light-headed, dreamy, fantasies...

Ready to explode in your mind, a million places we could go but never set foot on;

Ten thousand things I could do but could never have done; I wished they'd come true.

Makes me feel like with just some simple tunes and a relaxed mind,

Blanketed and snug from the cold of reality that sits surrounding me, never ceasing to go away,

but for a moment as I keep on listening,

I am happy and I learn to love things rather than hate and be bitter.
Inspired by The Saltwater Room - Owl City. And this poem is sort of about it.
Dec 2013 · 1.1k
With love's light wings
SexySloth Dec 2013
"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;"
- *Romeo
  in  Romeo  &  Juliet, Act II Scene II

I remember fondly;
all the little things, the little details.
everything is like a photograph with a little note written beside it,
documenting the moment in its beauty, treasuring, savouring
what was seen, what was said, what was felt (fluttering inside)
it's never going to occur again.

In my photographic memory, it's all too familiar
the arc of your back
the glistening of your eyes
the way you stand and poise yourself,
ever in the stance I'd knew you be in
because I've observed you so many times before.

To speak in all honesty,
I was very shy.
Thoughts dashed about my mind like
people dressed in work clothes, rushing for the train;
embarrassed flights of thought that
like a bird, fluttering here and there,
not really staying at one place, and never seeming to leave.
What thoughts? oh of course,
You.

Made up scenarios and talks that never happened, but I could envision
1) Your smile
2) The way your eyes would look into mine
3) The sound of your voice and
4) The satisfaction of finally having your attention
seeking only you, because that's what I truly want, you know. Nothing else matters if your presence wasn't here, and I'd still check from the corner of my eye.

Alas, when what anticipation has been held in me flushes out as
you appear before me,
I force away all those silly thoughts...
please, am I really in love with you?
I pretend again, that we're just good friends,
and to enjoy the moments (how little they may be) left with you.

so that when I get home, I'll be miserably happy
that the last time I saw the organic, solid, truthful, existence of you,
I had been happy.

(and no doubt, heartbroken.)
Jul 2013 · 494
I await you
SexySloth Jul 2013
i pull my dainty finger
out of the endless sea
and upon it I see my reflection
tears of longing, my face is streaked.

the water which you rowed over,
the water which brought you far away,
the water which will decide your fate
at the water, for you, I await.
Jul 2013 · 959
Lifting
SexySloth Jul 2013
The puffs of fluffy   little
        condensed   water   droplets

lift me up, higher   ...   higher

              till I am free

of  tumultuous,       raging   thoughts
        
            where I lie down and look up at the sky

            and            what       it        has        to
                                                  offer              me.
Jul 2013 · 466
When I have died...
SexySloth Jul 2013
When I have died,
Will the people I cared about come watch me
Eyes closed, unbreathing
In my coffin
Will people come and watch me
In admiration of what I had achieved, the course of my life
Or will they cast their gaze down onto my pale face
And say scornfully of what a terrible person  I was,
And that they were glad I am no longer there?
Will people look at me pitifully
Pondering of a strange reason
As to why this beautiful human
Had to depart forever?
But after the funeral, what?
So what?
Will what they say matter?
Will their grievances be like sounds lost to the winds
Carrying them far away to other lands?
Will I be remembered by them,
So that when they’re having
A casual conversation
Over tea or coffee,
Or just happened to be passing by,
Maybe they’ll see the light grey dressing of the clouds
Who wore the same outfit to my funeral
And will get reminded of me?

But, no matter what, my death
Won’t be that significant.
Many people die everyday. So what if I die?
It is just a natural course of life,
Inescapable, inevitable
Why is it such a big matter?
In fact, let my passing be as natural
As brushing teeth in the morning.
Better get it done and over with,
So that everyone can move on and start with the day
So fresh a mouth that a breeze can blow into it
And carry the scent to faraway lands.

Will life still move on?
Jul 2013 · 668
Branches against blue
SexySloth Jul 2013
The striking contrast of the branches against the blue
so blue it's so bright  
just like how
people are the branches
and I am the blue.

I'd love to spread out over the vastness of space
be bright, bright
but the branches
scratch against the blue
so people are forced to close
their eyes and they cannot
see me, afterall,
in the end.
Jul 2013 · 521
Dub dub dub
SexySloth Jul 2013
A rhythm, a beat
the rustle of the leaves
a hush, the bus
better run fast to catch up
the trees, the songs
you hear as they play on your ipod
forgot 'bout the world
reality kills
and only you can find solace
in the tub-tub-tub
of your footsteps as you walk home
and feel comfortable
a book in your hands,
never really feeling alone.
Jul 2013 · 967
Lowlife
SexySloth Jul 2013
Stuck in a ditch
and crying for help
would be so embarrassing
because it is obvious
that all the eyes looking down
hold no interest
in lending a hand
so crying for help
would only show
how much of a lowlife
they make me
out to be.
Jul 2013 · 609
Dwelling on Sadness
SexySloth Jul 2013
after a tiring day,
I am here, typing away
on my TPC.
recalling the past events that happened
earlier today;
she looked at me
dead looked eyes,
not a happy smile was
formed on her face,
in fact, the little details
the slight curve downwards,
the distrust I saw in her eyes,
as she, I'm sure, wasn't pleased to see
and probably dislike boiled in her,
as her words shot through me
like a million metal particles
agonizingly deep
difficult and perhaps, impossible to remove.
And as I go around begging
to please just join a group of humans
all none of superior or inferior rank,
but all of them rejected me
and I felt like a dog.
not even human, and so humiliated
I wondered
what did I ever do
To  deserve  this?

What have I become?
A sad, pathetic loner
going around begging?
Is there no pride or dignity left inside
of this mind,
which only wants to
complete a school task?

Time and again,
I feel like a
dog
living under a bridge
tasting the bitter rain that trickles
down
and I feel so very
sick.
Jul 2013 · 379
Glass Hurts
SexySloth Jul 2013
I hurt every time.
A little part of me is so fragile,
just like glass.
Whenever that glass breaks inside of me,
it pierces the tissues in me
and some are so long and sharp
they stick out of my skin
and I walk around like
A sad little person
but everyone sees me
and yet nobody cares.
Jul 2013 · 547
Melting Wax
SexySloth Jul 2013
My body melts into wax
Wax filling a coffin strangely shaped like me
A candle starts to burn at the tip
and yet again, I start to melt like a wax.
Jul 2013 · 348
No where to go
SexySloth Jul 2013
if you keep walking
without a destination
in mind,

you have no where to go.
Jun 2013 · 500
burdened.
SexySloth Jun 2013
he loves that amazing person
                                      in his life
but all that he would ever wish:
may I express my longing,
my desire
to love more than I can ever give?

can he secretly share a kiss?
a sizzling but sweet spark
that none can intrude in;
beauty in the dark.

he only wishes to
able to walk around town,
arms around his lover,
        or just holding hands, giving coded glances
because to each other, they are bound.

But Alas! society
considers their actions to be depravity
minds of millions so ignorant and selfish!
I am very disappointed by humanity.

the sanctity of the [insert religious book]
all the rules they must follow
or so they claim
why are their heads so hollow?

Love is love, no matter felt by whom,
why does gender have to matter
I dare ask?
You better get your senses back together.

if you don't,
he cannot freely love his dearest him,
she cannot kiss her lover's lips under the stars,
and only desperately wish for a whim.

because of restrictions thrown about
set by whom?
who dares decides what they can
                        and cannot do?
Jun 2013 · 438
To Ria.
SexySloth Jun 2013
It has been an honour
to write poetry with you,
creating magic
with just our own brilliant minds
                                        and hands.
This is me saying farewell
when you return,
                 let our quills become wands
and minds become
                   extraordinary thinking machines
                                            
                                       creating worlds out of thin air.
My footsteps follow me in pursuit
Of the Land of Dreams
That awaits me fondly
Forthwith I bade my final farewell
As I part beyond your range
You possess an overwhelming endeavour to satisfy
My well-wishes shall ceaselessly endure by your side
So long, my friend.
A little something I wrote for you, before I depart.

-Ria Nagpal
Jun 2013 · 649
dear ria
SexySloth Jun 2013
I hear that you are leaving for India tomorrow.

A long flight on which you will take your slumber
travelling among the blue skies,
sleeping on cloud 9.
May you have the sweetest dream ever
and when you finally step on ground,
I wish you an adventure so vivid and satisfying,
that you'll come back and retell stories
and we'll have fun together, too.

This summer may be just beginning,
for you at least,
while the sun is going down for me.

May it be filled with mirth and
I bless you with every
single happiness you can ever
feel in every possible
moment.

Be safe, my dear friend,
for I love you so.
My footsteps follow me in pursuit
Of the Land of Dreams
That awaits me fondly
Forthwith I bade my final farewell
As I part beyond your range
You possess an overwhelming endeavour to satisfy
My well-wishes shall ceaselessly endure by your side
So long, my friend.
A little something I wrote for you, before I depart.

Ria Nagpal
Jun 2013 · 708
Butterfly
SexySloth Jun 2013
So smooth and beautiful in their curve
Of iridescent wings that let them take flight
Softly resting their tangy feet on bright petals
How beautiful and intricate are they, a divine creation of nature
I have a confession to make, however, that oddly,
My heart breaks whenever I see a butterfly.
Oh butterfly, you are such a beautiful thing,
So innocent and beautiful a creature may be,
Minding your own business and floating around the air,
But yet, your beautiful presence or a sight of the lovely you,
Is a ***** to my heart I cannot remove.
Just like how he has so accurately stated
The everything that seems perfect is not true.
All that is beautiful, all that is fair,
Like you butterfly, and yet
My heart still hangs in despair.
14/04/2013.

Written when I still had that magic sword-quill in my hands.
Jun 2013 · 7.6k
Psychopath wannabe
SexySloth Jun 2013
I want to be a psychopath.

It is so thrilling, the thought.

One day I'll rule the world

And **** people and never get caught.
Jun 2013 · 988
Abyss To Eigengrau
SexySloth Jun 2013
It is dark and everything is quiet.
Like a step taken would be so soft
the sound would elude ears
and the traveller would smoothly transit
from one point to another.

The cold granite pavement is
the only thing telling me this place
exists.

My eyes are open, or are they closed?
I blink.
There is no difference.
But it is so dark I feel the black
is poring into my eyes
and covering me like
an invisible, untouchable, distinct
sort of
a thick, giant parcel of air
or space, even
that transcends my field of vision.

I am lost, but I don't feel like it.
There is some sort of freedom and peace
while walking along path I set myself.
It is just walking, simply walking
no plans made, no trails followed
simply walking.

All along the way I've walked,
I've only heard the sound of my feet in this quietness.
The faint rush of breath out my nostrils
sounds so light, almost nonexistent,
as if I've been holding my breath
or I never breathed this whole way or
even breathed at all.

Time. I've forgotten the meaning of time.
What is time?
I don't know when I started walking
but from then till now,
I don't know how much time has passed.
10 minutes? 2 hours? 1 day? 3 weeks? 1 year?
A century?
How do you know?

No matter the length I've walked,
my feet do not hurt at all.
In fact, with every contact
with the ground,
the muscles get soothed and they
sigh with pleasure
despite not knowing
when they'll ever stop
walking.

Alas! I see Eigengrau!
and slowly, the faint outline of
toys, books, mats, a telescope
come into view.
But very, very faint.
Only the very top parts
are a little bit lighter than the rest.
Enough to make out what they are, though.

My feet sense something different.
Before, they walked on
cool, hard and sure granite.
Now, they feel a soft carpet,
little furry things tingling the toes
that go easy on the soles.

Oops!

I almost tripped!
I see a plush toy of a planet, the Earth.
And starry things are sprawled all over
where my field of vision can reach.

Walking closer and closer,
a window comes into view.
shutters are white in colour, but
tucked neatly at the top.
Now light spills in
and there's a tiny figure
whose breathing I hear.
A slow, peaceful rhythm,
devoid of fatigue, stress and dread.
A being not aware of my presence.
It is-sorry-he is
a little boy, wearing blue Power Ranger pajamas,
clutching tightly to a bolster, covered slightly
by a recently-ironed blanket.

Curiosity takes over
I walk to the little boy,
slowly turns his face over...
brushes his hair off his face....
and he's-he's-

Oh  my  god

That face.

I used to see

in the mirror...



Sixty years ago.
Jun 2013 · 500
my eyelids can't close
SexySloth Jun 2013
I'm laying on my bed
A Nokia in my hands
it's dark and all is quiet
but sleep hasn't come to me yet.

I'm sleepy but my eyelids won't close
I want to fall asleep in the cold
warmth of blanket and soft pillow
still, I stare into this bright screen
hoping sleep will come to me, somehow.
SexySloth Jun 2013
Oh, sweet, sweet friend
How may I describe you?
The beauty of our friendship
Is of much more value
Than a baboon's ***.
This, I'm telling you,
Is that a baboon's ***
Isn't of much value.
You're like
Something I'd walk on the streets of New York
where many feet trample on the pavements
where spit hits ******* the ground
and dirt rubs and snug itself tight.

You're like
The sound of beautiful woman
Inviting me to a nice, fancy dinner
in her huge mansion
With her gorgeous husband
And laughs along to his lame jokes
and gives me a toast
under the lights
of the golden chandelier
as her precious goods bounce around
in that low-cut dress
so absolutely sweet you are,
how much I adore the love in your voice,
the gentle one that kisses me goodbye
If only it was real
and not as fake
as the eyes you bear
when you tell me
I'm amazing.

You're like
a sweet wrapper
I'd happily look at
feeling **** guilty inside
nevertheless.
That crunching sound it makes
As it opens to a beautiful sweet
Chocolate! I chew you up and
swallow you down.
I'd never think something
so delicious and innocent
would hurt me so bad, and give me
Black teeth. Or potentially diabetes.
Nothing so tasty would **** me
slowly inside
forget the temporary pleasure I had.

You're like
Fresh, long hair
and a pretty little face
which bears ugly lips
that shoot out ugly words
and claw people around their necks
and suffocate their freedom of speech
or their opinion
and snubs out their rainbow
like a cigarette
My dear, you’re a monster!
Have you no taste for uniqueness
and creativity, a knack
in weirdness, the love
of awkward hellos,
and a shy but determined being
in the making?
You press down the people you think you can ****.
You, with your sharp words
and condescending eyes,
scrutinize my every move
and throw snide remarks
behind my back,
Honey, don’t you realise
You’re not perfect?

So I've said, you're a sweet, sweet friend.
You are!
As sweet as the poison that kills me
before it reaches my heart.
It has already killed my ability
to lead, to be empowered,
to be free.

So, my sweet, sweet friend
feel free to lace up the shoe
and wear it if it fits.
One day, I'll step on you.
SexySloth Jun 2013
I write stories with my tongue
They come twirling out like noodles,
deliciously served on a plate.

I hope you enjoy this meal. Don't forget
       to drink down a bottle of
fi z zy   o   range

afterwards.
Jun 2013 · 519
Larry Love
SexySloth Jun 2013
They loved each other
They showed it passionately.

In front of billions of eyes,
they could've kissed,
they could've loved even more,
romance stronger than before.

Feelings were, however, locked in ice
And the two are helpless to just watch
as what could've bloomed, what could've soared
stayed still and couldn't move at all.
Jun 2013 · 585
When you fancy someone
SexySloth Jun 2013
What to do
When you fancy a boy
You cannot breathe
You cannot see
Beyond his perfection
and his perfect fancy.
this is written for fun...

however I'm sure many fangirls can relate to this. Any fangirls here? What fandoms?

Percy Jackson, The Midnighters, Harry Potter, Narnia...
May 2013 · 521
Such A Waste of Time!
SexySloth May 2013
Those mere feelings
are asinine
and should be
retired
soon enough
because they are
stupid,
foolish,
tiring
and
do not carry
a single grain
of hope or revival.

Good bye, I hope
you have a good life.

I finally
won't
miss
you.
SexySloth May 2013
You are the prettiest boy I've met!
Cutest boy I've ever seen!
Hair is fabulous,
nicely swept to the left,
Gorgeous black eyes are beautiful as can be!

You're witty and funny
Keeping me brave in the dark,
Makes the clouds go away
and then sun begins to complain
Because now, you're the one lighting my world up!

I could talk to you as long as I want,
For hours on end,
as my lids grow heavy
and body begins to ache
But sleep doesn't matter, when you're there!

Do you know, how HAPPY
I am around you, truly?
You have a gift.
However, I am deprived
of that special gift, and am wistfully
waiting to be with you, once again.
THANK YOU Adreishka Moonlight for the title suggestion!
May 2013 · 874
Wistful Wishings
SexySloth May 2013
It has been quite some time
Far too long to be missing anybody
But yet, I still do.
I miss you.
It has been miserable, it has been futile
It has been a sad, sad face,
that I always bear and I cannot
Seem to break out of this phase.
Will this last longer? Of hope and wistful dreams?
Seeing you again, makes me  happy
If only I could.
Stop wishing, I should.
A dragging on of many days,
turning into months
and wasted time
All because I'm wistfully wishing.
This has become a routine already,
more than brushing my teeth
or wearing my clothes
it has become what I do, everyday.
When I sit back and think,
I realise my faults,
supposed to be corrected, far long ago.
Not even harboured in the first place.
Liking you is so stupid,
I never should have fallen.
All I get is nothing in return,
and in fact,
it makes my heart burn.
May 2013 · 298
it's so sad
SexySloth May 2013
And I see you, smiling,
Having fun
While I sit here and wait
For a day to come
But you, you will never think
Of me while I endlessly
miss you, as much as my eyes can
blink
And the tears start of fall
Because you are as important to me
As much as it feels wrong
To like someone who doesn't even
Care at all.
can't think up of good titles lol
May 2013 · 609
No Mercy
SexySloth May 2013
I wish you had never came
so I wouldn't have to see that face
and the smirking smile
the glaring eyes
and the poisonous lips
venomous, killing
no mercy.
May 2013 · 651
15
SexySloth May 2013
15
When I'm 15,
I want to be happy and free.
I want to do what I want to do
and not give a ******* **** what others say

because it's been too long
I've been pleasing others while desperately wanting to be truly who I am,
trying to tie my lips and not say what I have in mind,
afraid of what others might think,
and afraid that I won't be able to rebut their hurtful, insensitive remarks

I want to free,
because that's all that really matters
what I think is kept in here
and doing what I please
is what pleases me.

I want to be amazing,
a change of new skin,
a new beginning,
a new me,
with a smarter brain and more wit,
to challenge the foes and
give no ****,

this is who I'd like to be
and starting from being fifteen,

I will be a new person.
I think I overused the italics and bold but it's to really emphasis my points.
May 2013 · 639
Shedding New Skin
SexySloth May 2013
Shall I keep the friendship we shared?
Shall I continue to honor it by remembering what we did?
Shall I remember the first time you spoke to me
and all the fun things we did thereafter?
For some reason, you just stood a little further from me
Bit by bit,
and now, you're too far away. When I reach out my hand
You can't grab it. If this was a sinking ship,
I can't save you.
You can't save me either.
Shall I forget what used to be you and what used to be me?
Right now, you've found a newer land, a greener grass,
but you wouldn't let me step on it,
you just bid me goodbye slowly but you're being so cold.
You wouldn't tell me directly if you're simply pushing me away;
you're like a block of ice I'd slide down a hill and let it break into many pieces.
Stop being so cold, at least, but if that's what you want to be:
icy, distant and unfamiliar,
I wondered where the old you had disappeared.

I bid goodbye to her forever.

A new day will come and I will shed my old skin and
all my memories formed with it.
This is about forgetting the old, letting go, because you're born anew again. (my 15th birthday is tomorrow soo...)
May 2013 · 1.3k
You're Such A Beauty
SexySloth May 2013
I love it when you smile.
And then I start fangirling inside.
Just so you know,
my heart starts burning up and my cheeks become bright red,
My face is constipated and crammed with many emotions,
and your smile is transferred onto my face,
but less elegant and more of a wild one,
deep, uncontrolled, raw and free.

And then I just want to run over and hug you and ask if I can
'Sit on your face?'

:D
May 2013 · 616
You're Disappointed In Me
SexySloth May 2013
I'm sorry I let you down and to have you think of me this way.

Everything that is perfect, everything that is beautiful, does not last forever.
May 2013 · 312
Little Secret
SexySloth May 2013
Hopefully not. I wonder how if you know. You probably do.

Do you... enjoy the little 'secret'?
May 2013 · 1.4k
What You Are (10w)
SexySloth May 2013
Gorgeous
Sweet
Mature
Open-minded
Smart
Witty
Funny

That's you.
May 2013 · 1.4k
Secrecy
SexySloth May 2013
Behind this little curtain, I hide.
I do not lie, but I do not tell the truth either.
I do not flash it in your face,
but I'm afraid you may know my

secret.

If this happens, everything will turn upside down
and I need to find a paper bag,
where I'll readily stuff my face in and hide under a rock
Until maybe all magically is forgotten.

I am ready to tell you the truth, however,
although my paper is transparent, a see-through glass,
piles of white lies may start to stain it and soon,
it will be so opaque you have to dig deep into there
To finally see the face that's hiding behind.

I am not desperate or a stalker,
or you know,
the one that sends you long text messages
and waits eagerly for a short reply.
Whenever I try to forget you,
you pop into my memory and tempt me into no bounds
of imagination. It's necessary I try not to follow,
but I always end up falling in the same hole.

So please understand, that if I suddenly reveal my identity,
do not be taken aback because this is what I have to do,
for you have caused me to be slightly obsessive and
longing for even a slight bit of communication between
us. The us that I dream of, the us that happened, what of it is left?

To start anew? This is rather painful. I don't want to forget, you see.
You were so lovely and sweet. How can I erase you from my memory?

People come and go, but you stay, longer than I thought you would.
This attachment is detrimental to my being. If any longer your existence influences me,
I will stop living in the present and reality and just dream on about non-existent parallels,
wasting so much time and feelings.

Okay. So this is why I'm being so secret there. You would only talk to me that way.

Because,

you wouldn't want to talk to me.

Thank you, dear, though, for that sweet little message.
Purely imaginative. Not based on any real life experiences.
May 2013 · 991
Summary Of Me in May
SexySloth May 2013
I have hair that grow like wild weeds.
Fresh and untrimmed,
Right from the scalp of my soft head.

My eyebrows are thick, but not enough
To be as dark as
the pools of black my eyes are.

Huge lips,
give sweet kisses,
and blows them to you if you're my fancy.

Tall enough to hug you and smooch your little cheek.
Short enough not to see that I'm blinded by this blackening
of reality.

I always like quirky things
and be that rock that juts out of all unusual places,
looking like it doesn't belong but indeed, it does.

A special rock, a treasured rock,
one that all shall behold and hold their breath before.

I like to eat many things sweet, a kick of spicy
and some pieces of meat.

A person quite interested in the arts,
from painting to poetry to acting,
deemed herself worthy of being called
A writer.

Sometimes, this person can only see
What her feelings show.
Not the most important thing is at the top of her list,
A poor judgement girl, lost in love and full of sheer hope.

Too cheesy, eh?
Welcome to the cheesy part of my life
Which I hope to quickly pass
And shut the door behind me
So it won't catch up and haunt
May 2013 · 458
Fires, Burn.
SexySloth May 2013
I'm gonna hide behind the ******* stakes
and watch the fires ignite.
The slow and guaranteed burn of the wood
To turn it into blackened charcoal.

Be patient, the fires won't disappoint me.
They are truly loyal. Only they are the ones
I can count on
To get things done.
Sorry for the swear word.
May 2013 · 1.4k
Infatuation
SexySloth May 2013
You grow and grow onto me
Spreading of the different planes of your existence,
Creating a slow, deepening hole
In which I keep falling deeper into.
Note to self: STOP WITH THE CHEESY LITTLE *****

ughhh I need to stop being so cheesy *******
May 2013 · 1.7k
Bored
SexySloth May 2013
Do you ever wonder
What to do when you're awake
When the sun hasn't seeped through
And brought the light of day?

Sit in front of the computer
and stare blankly
waiting for the Sun to rise
and the world to shine?

I am very bored
Waiting over here
And there's nothing I can do
but bear with the silence.
May 2013 · 303
Time?
SexySloth May 2013
It's quite early when I woke up.
2.30am or around there, I must say.
It's about 4.45 right now,
the Earth spun too fast.

I am still thinking of you.
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