you know that feeling that you get often but not often. you feel parts of it constantly but only sometimes do you get the whole effect. that feeling that starts in your stomach- feels similar to a punch. it takes the breath out of you for what seems like an eternity of time, and before you can remember to breathe again, you become focused on this punch. it's expanding now. up your esophagus and all the way down to your abdomen. you can almost picture it as a big deep thick dark fog just spreading throughout your body. you fall to the ground gasping for air while blinded by all of the warm salty tears that snuck up on the back of your eyeballs ever so subtlety
it's the worst feeling i've ever felt.
its embarrassment.

Manipulative
Yeildless
Fundamentalist
Awful
Taunting
Habitual Liar
Egotistic
Reckless

the voices aren't scary
but the walls kind of are
they creep and they stare
and they laugh when you're scared
they follow you everywhere-
they're marvins bestfriends!
when he's not around,
the wall surely is.
they creak and they croak
they act as a cloak
they hide the evil
until it's ready to choke
choke. choke. choke.
Stop! get out of my ears!
please just leave my brain
exit my fears!
i won't **** my mom
no matter how much you ask!
wait what did you just say
about my ***
i'm fat? what do you mean
mom said i look pretty and lean
i know it's her job but
she only says what she means!
look dan, daisy, marvin, and sam!
i love myself just the way i am
huh? you can't read my thoughts..
wait what you can?
ok fine i admit it
i hate all of my skin
my hair, my stomach
my legs and my hips
yeah, you're right!
i can be thin!
thinner than the
****** blade of grass
i left last winter
to twirl in the wind
yeah! i won't need razor blades if
my collarbones can cut diamonds
and shave ice!
all of my ribs showing??
that'd be nice
honestly i agree you're totally right
the stomach acid does make
my lips look nice
a pretty pink.
pretty orange, pretty red, pretty purple
i remember when the blood
i coughed up was only an orange
but now it's a red,
a beautiful crimson red!
the same color i bled out
onto my bed
red roses used to blossom
out of my forearm
oh what a gorgeous purple!
or is that a blue?
now i see yellow now white
now black!
black. black. black.
oh good i've woken up
what a dream!
wait mom, why am i hooked
up to a machine?
get this ******* tube out of my nose!
you guys this isn't funny,
i wanna go home!