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the feeling when one knows-
is certain, and even though
he asks for a treat, a service, a thought
it never will come the way he hopes

the moment when one says please
even when knowing there is nothing
for him, nothing that could be coming
and he’ll never become a part of these

virtual things or others’ plight
without a way to get to meet
other than other’s giving need
but no real right to feel their might

cannaloo, I say goodbye to you
while saying hello, please come back
while falsely hoping for someone’s track
of music I just cannot hear, cannaloo

__


if I can do more cannaloo,
I'll just ask you
not to lie-
for your unknowing, well-meant lies
make me birth more self-lies
and those I hate
no lying, mate
the word 'cannaloo is a product of my mind. it means to wish for something knowing you won't get it/or you won't get it the way you need it to be
I apologize for my being
Such a waste of love to you
Leaves blowing
By my window
Like words flying
Thru my mind
Raindrops rippling
Sidewalk puddles
Like ink scribbled
On an unkempt page
Emotions in flight
Tears and smiles
All of the feelings
We've since passed
And all of the love
We shall never see
she drew and fired  from her heart
but my ears never heard the sound
her aim was true, now i am too
mortally wounded with her love
i wait
hovering in the hollow
of her silent absence
bathed in the rose-pink
of our profound intimacy
the one who's velvet reins
thread thru the surcingles
of this man's wild heart
her devotion calming me
smoothing the lines of fret
and holding me so tenderly
in the softness of affection

i wait . . .
patiently . . .
like a pack-horse waits
for his seaboard journey
to bring her the adoration
she so certainly deserves
when she breaks the bonds
of my patient waiting

Words in italics are inspired from Mahmoud Darwish's "Wait for Her"
She serenades me with her dreams
And I accompany her with my heart
sometimes i feel i have something to say
sometimes i talk over the light in her eyes
sometimes i drown out the real feelings
sometimes i moan for my dire misgivings
sometimes i learn for my harsh mistakes
sometimes i'm on my knees in apologies
sometimes i find myself alone with my ego
sometimes she wraps me in her forgiveness
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