Dearest lover, stroke my hair.
Pull the thread which binds me,
strip me bare
of pretence, which I've layered on.
Stare upon me,
See me wrong.

See the burnt out hair,
the un-smoothed skin,
masked with the care
of unknown sin.
My green eyes guarded within
their painted black,
the legs, though shapely,
lack
the never-ending stream of gold,
instead look icy, pale and cold.
Look upon it,
Stare upon me.

Now press, accept, my quivering lips to thine,
that once more I may claim myself mine.

My feet are dragging as my eye lids flutter
the sun is heaven on these sore, tired muscles
technique is a bitch, can get screwed the wrong way
when sloppy and slow, swinging and heaving
shoulders are achy, but by tomorrow, good to go
working muscles I haven't worked in a really long while
shit, even these tweezers are heavy
damn near cried tge first night when I ran into the wall
thank God for tylenol and the shape that I am in
In a few more short hours, I'll be feeling good again

I can't seem to place you in a little box,
With a nice pretty bow attached,
You're just not the type of person
Who I can figure out so easily
But I woke up beside you,
And you were still smiling,
So I figured I had done something right
And although there may not be any more mornings,
Know that I gave to you what I could,
What I thought you needed

We had a conversation
like one we did not have for years.
I looked at us
driving on the highway
in the wrong direction
in our crappy blue car,
and I realised:
in this conversation we were
finally
not talking
but listening.

There is something wrong with us
The girls that sleep around
We're known for playing fast
And getting drinks downtown

There is something wrong with us
The girls who fuck girls
Someone didn't love us right
And now we're alone in the world

There must be something
Wrong with us
To fuck the way we do
To sleep with him
And then with her
And tomorrow, God knows who

We look like normal people
But down deep we know our truth
We're so bored we could die
And we prefer to waste our youth

I wish I was still a child.
Clueless of the world.
So jolly about life.
Having the brightest energy to wake up every morning.
Excited to see what the day is ahead of me.
Unfortunately, life is too cruel that "it" created time.
And with time, comes growth...
Oh how I wish I could stop growing.
The more I grow, the more I see.
I see the details of life,
not just mine...
but life on Earth.
And I see these details, not pretty at all.
My eyes have become wider each time I grow.
And my heart aches for humanity each time I see.
The imperfections of life has overpowered the bright side of life.
From what I see,
From my experiences,
we cake up the issues with our prideful attitude: We fight too much for what's right.
But...
Can we really define what's right?
No.
We fight,argue, and kill for what we want.
I feel lost.
I feel that even with control and morality.
We're still wrong.
Because we see what we want to see.
Too many desires, and not enough love.
Not enough acceptance.
Not enough cooperation.
Oh the irony of life.
We create the issues,
yet... we try to seek for the solutions.
From what I've learned from school...
Life represents water.
But how can water be symbolic of our life....
when we are too organized, that our life has become a routine?
Maybe... the solution would be letting our inner child within us, come out.
Because a child flows like water, and dances joyfully with life.
-e.c

I have a war with my mind.
I don't know what I want.
I often tell people I'm stable,
but I'm actually not.
What's wrong with me?
I have everything that should make me happy.
I have my love.
I have my friends.
I have my family.
So why am I so damn depressed?
I'm jealous.
Of all the people out there that knows what they want.
While I'm here,
Grasping for life...
grasping for a dream.
A dream that can never be found.
Do I even have one?
Because lately,
I've been feeling like I have none.
My mind is a continuous battle that can never end.
And so far, I'm getting defeated.
For starters,
I guess you can say...
I want my life to be completed.
My mind is a jumble mess.
I wish I have the ability to clean.
But when I try to develop that skill...
the results I get is just stress.
School, Social, Future
How on earth can I balance all three?
When all it ever does is just suffocate me.
Fuck. Just Fuck.
Life goes on in such a fast pace.
I can't keep up with it.
And maybe... this is the problem.
That I can't commit.
To myself, to the world, to my boyfriend...
To everything
I just can't find the humility in life to live on.
And this is why. I have no dream.
-e.c

Green light.
Driving [five] miles
over the limit and if
accelerating gets me there
faster it's worth risking the ticket.

Holding on to time tight
as we race by each light
on our way to routinely
ending our perfect night
and if what we're doing is
wrong then I don't want
to be right.

Bright light shines yellow.
Speed right past it. Moving so fast
I'm stuck wondering where my past went.

She's removed it from my memory
and the present is what matters. I made some stupid comment
but am repaid by hearing her laughter.

Coincidence isn't what happened and I'm not sure if I believe in destiny
but the girl I've dreamed of is sitting right next to me.
Looking into the horizon my mind comes up with an idea as
I begin to press on the brakes.

The car comes to a stop
and before I look in her direction I realize the
stars look beautiful tonight.
With my only motive being
stealing kisses at a red light.

We're one half of a pair of jigsaw puzzle
and like many puzzles, we will meet
the wrong other half
before we find one that is made
to fit with us
but what if along the way,
in the process of finding our other half
we have deformed ourselves
in order to try and fit with the ones
that are just not meant for us?
Does it mean our original shape will no longer
be for the one we're destined for?
And we missed the chance of our
fated happily forever and after?
Or are we meant to be damaged?
So we can fit with another shape
that is also damaged,
but the type of damage that is supposed
to go along with you?