How long can your legs quake, your body shake, before your heart breaks?
How many times do you have to be knocked down before you can't pick yourself off the ground?
How much taunting and teasing does one have to do before it finally kills you?
Imagine being born into a family that loves you very much.
They work hard to provide for you and give you what you want.
Your mom works two jobs to provide for your basic needs.
Your dad works too, works 24/7, to make sure you get food to eat.
There's no money for toys or fancy clothes, but that's okay with you.
You still manage to smile, happy as always, doing what you love to do.
Now imagine being judged, taunted, ridiculed, insulted; for enjoying the little you have.
By someone who's rich with everything they want, but who's also incredibly sad.
And this sadness inside has messed with their head, it's not fair that you get to smile.
She is rich, she has so much money, but she secretly hates her life.
Imagine this person has made it their job to bring down your mood.
Imagine this person, knowing you're poor, always spits in your food.
Imagine this person, wearing their fancy clothes, throws you in the trash.
Imagine this person, that you don't even know, has made being alive sad.
You used to smile everyday, thanked your parents for what you had.
You never cared about the clothes you wore, you never thought you looked bad.
But this one kid who was upset with their life, took out their anger on you.
The words she said and the things she did had changed your point of view,
On life. You hated it, now you just wanted to die.
The pain she's caused is so immense you now longer loved your life.
That person who decided to ruin your life, to make life seem more "right".
Now that you have lost your joy she can finally sleep at night.
She's stolen your smile, killed you inside and she knows she's caused you pain.
But see, she thinks she was wronging some rights, so she is finally sane.
But you, you've lost all will to live. It'd be better if you were dead.
And so that's constantly in your thoughts, would people be happier instead?
You don't wanna believe it'll help anyone, what would your parents do?
They'd no longer have to work all night, cause no you means more food.
No you means more money, they can finally be at peace.
I would have never imagined that my parents would be better off without me.
It's 4 in the morning and I am awake, writing my parents a note.
I've told them I love them and because of that, its time for me to go.
I'll be gone forever, there's no bringing me back, as I will have bled to death.
You can find my body, drowned in the tub, clear water that would have turned red.
So she walks to the tub and fills it up, takes her clothes off and slips inside.
She tells herself, this suffering will end. Finally I can die.
And so she grabs the blade, closes her eyes and places it on her skin.
Drags it across, lets out a quiet sigh and lets herself sink in.
But I'd wonder what comment could be so bad, you would feel you're better dead than alive.
What was said to her, that made her lose her will to survive.
Was it the person who judged her for what she wore?
Was it the harassment she faced for being poor?
Was it the comment about her unwashed dress or was it the ripped shoes?
Was it her being told she would always be poor or was if the spitting in the food?
It shouldn't even matter what insult was said.
Her being happy and poor doesn't mean she deserved to be dead.
"Don't judge a book by its cover", it also means by class.
Being of a lower class shouldn't result in being harassed.
It's not something anyone chooses, so be careful what you say.
Cause once its said, it can't be forgotten and someone's life might be taken away.
God appointed Gabriel to represent his calling upon Mary.
Then God anointed Mary to carry out his earthly blessing.
The news given to her was good news.
An amazement that shocked her into disbelief.
But Mary was devoted.
God blessed Zachariah spouse Elizabeth with news.
From Gabriel, who spoke to Mary.
One was shocked since she hadn't been with a man.
The other amazed since she was up in age.
Except God works wonders.
Both founded favor with the Lord.
For with God nothing is impossible.
If he states, it shall be.
Then it shall be.
Remember God works wonders.
The Son of the Most Highest.
Came to be known as Jesus.
The other came to be known, as John.
Both with a purpose.
Both with a cause.
Except, one with a higher calling.
Yes, God has work wonders concerning us.
With his appointments.
With his anointing.
God has worked blessings upon us.
Be forever grateful.
Be forever thankful.
I read a poster today,
"Having a healthy mind
Is just as important as having
A healthy body"
I thought about my brain and
The way it works, how I
Nervously pinch myself when I'm
Crying, or how I can't help but
Hate the way I look
The way talking to boys
Is so much easier than talking to
Girls, and what it means
Taking a cigarette to my thigh
Just to see what it feels like, or
Laying in bed, counting how many
Times I can punch my cheek bone
Before it bruises just to
Cover it up the next day with make-up
All this scares me because
I have control over my body
Eating, exercise, tangible things
But my mind,
I don't know how to
And it's getting worse
Sitting in the circle of confession,
i am unmoved, at inaction,
only minorly involved in the
process of others, an observer
of them and processing me.
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things
i cannot change,
(people, places, things)
i am quiet and respectful, knowing
that for some this is all they have,
that i am fortunate,
that we never flirted with disaster,
we openly courted it.
the courage to change the things i can,
i hear the voices in the distance,
but i can't connect, my mind
wanders, thinking about prehistoric
jewelry in museum cases, broken
pottery shards unearthed with
great effort from ancient graves.
Were these items symbols of broken
promises? A ring: till death do
us part...a vase: i will carry the
water for you...an arrowhead:
i will protect you. These things
hold a value that words
cannot ever truly convey.
i don't really understand how it works,
the promises i broke were the ones
i made to myself first, all the
others were incidental and yet
so equally destructive...
my track marks have faded with
disuse, but everything that it was
and i wasn't are now forever
tattooed under my skin, something
that is always only mine to
observe and behold, something
terrible and yet darkly beautiful.
and the wisdom to know the difference.
i empathize with the lost, but
i do not share.
They would understand, but as
they learn more
i comprehend less,
and i know where that road leads.
So i remember when i should
be listening, and i will keep
what i have earned.
Just for today.
There are parts of our stories that we wish were different
Things we wish we could erase
We get stuck in moments
Over-analyzing our every movement
Trying our hardest to make the memories perfect
Memories turn in to ghosts
That haunt our happiness
And kill our freedom
We try to live in the past
But we can't repeat it
So it never works
And it hurts
Then somehow inside the same story
There is good
There are memories that make us laugh and make us smile
Loving relationships and life changing conversations
Places that we hope to go
And people that we want to meet
Even things as simple as favorite books and songs and films
They are a daily reminder of why we're alive
And we've come to believe that all of it matters
That all of it is significant and
The opposite of small
We've come to believe that you deserve to be around people who make you feel whole
People who laugh and mourn and celebrate with you
People who remind you
You're not alone in this whole big thing called life.
THIS YEAR 2013; IS THE YEAR OF GREAT DEATHS
Alexander K Opicho
(Eldoret, Kenya; email@example.com)
This year alone world society has lost more that ten great intellectual and political leaders. They have been lost to death in a deeply wounding manner. Human society has indeed been robbed. It is so sad. Three of the leaders have been Nobel laureates and the rest are leaders of intellectual, moral, political and spiritual stature in their respective capacities.
It began without any stampede in early part of the year some where March when Chinua Achebe, a Nigerian and Francis Davis Imbuga a Kenyan, both succumbed to early deaths caused by stroke. Rendering not only the citizens of world of literature, but also African society as well as global intellectual communities to the most desperate bereavement. Thereafter, within short while of the subsequent days, The Venezuelans president and Marxist intellectual, Hugo Chavez also succumbed to death caused by throat cancer. Even though the Pravda, the daily circulating paper of Russia contended that Chavez was poisoned; it is dismissible as only a Russian stand attributed to ideological hangover, because the Pravda also made similar allegations in relation to deaths of Yasser Arafat, Pablo Neruda and Frantz Omar Fanon, but it did not go a head to establish the factuality of this very allegations.
What we know is that human life is in most cases contested for by the three spiritual forces of fortune, fate and death. As decried William Shakespeare in his Romeo and Juliet. This time round in the year 2013, the angel of death has dominantly reigned with its untimely consequences in form of fangled early death of our leaders. Herman Melville will remain classical in his concern in the Moby Dick about death that; O death! O death! Why are you untimely?
Sadder is when the Al shabab terrorists killed the Ghanaian born global literary citizen Kofi Owonor. Kofi Owonor the poet and author of This world my brother was among the people killed in Nairobi during the terrorist attack at the Westgate mall. Of course he had come to Kenya to celebrate in literary festival organised by a society of publishers in Nairobi. This is an eventuality of some month ago. In September 2013, the Irish born literary Nobel prize poet; Heaney Seamus died. He died prematurely when the world society most needed his service to literature and his literary service to human society.
A couple of some weeks ago again the world loosed two prominent artists, political leaders, human rights crusaders and intellectuals. These are none other than Doris May Lessing and Tabuley Rosseuru. Lessing was a white African living in London, literature Nobel laureate and a feminist as well as an anti apartheid crusader. She is known for her firm stand against communist utopia, championing for the courses against dehumanizing human behaviors like racisms , but mostly Lessing is known for her great literary works like ;the grass is singing, Golden Note book, Dann and Mara as well as so many other works. Whereas Tabuley was an African Congolese , a musician , a businessman , once a husband to Africa’s most beautiful songstress Bellia Belle. He was the composer and the vocalist of African Rumba music. His song Bina Mudan which we in Africa always pronounce as Simbukinya was actually an artistic and cultural bombshell. Tabuley has been a politician, who enjoyed a gubernatorial position of the city of Kinshasa for ten years (two terms).
Most disastrous is the currently trial-some moment for the world community as they all commissarriate the death of Nelson Mandela.Mandella died early decemder 2013 at his home in the Johannesburg city of South Africa. The death of Mandela is an open sore to the society. It is a window for social, political, intellectual and family abyss in Africa. It is indeed a sad moment. But what can we do? For it has already happened. We can only swim in the consolation inherent the wisdom of the Babukusu people found in the western part of Kenya that; Mis-brewed wine behooves volunteer carousers. And truly, I have personally joined the world community to commit a poetical kamikaze in volunteering to drink this sour wine of humanity .May god give us and our leaders in their diverse capacities long live. Amen.
One day you look in the mirror
And you give yourself a thumbs up and say,
"I'm a champion"
And the next day
Looking back at the mirror
You think to yourself that what you see is repulsive
And that what you see is so disappointing
And you're not satisfied
And you start thinking,
"Is this really how people see me?"
Not good enough and never good enough
And you give up
And you stop trying to be that champion you saw yourself as before
When you're a child
You aim for the sky
You cast your nets far and wide
And aim your arrows high
Until the day that you realize that eventually everything falls
Eventually, the arrow will come back
And you don't have the freedom you thought you had
When you were young
And now you're stuck
Constantly looking into that same mirror
Thinking about all the time and money and resources that you don't have to do what you want
Or even the motivation to do what you want
Because now you know
That's not how the world works
You told me you were ready, that this was not a huge deal to you. I had been waiting a long time for this to happen and you told me you were ready, so i believed you until i stepped one foot in the door and i could see the fear deep inside your corneas. That fear has been resonating there for the past few days, knowing that you had lied to, not only yourself, but me as well. You were not ready for this but you told me otherwise. So i took you out to dinner and you did not eat your food, you even had the audacity to tell me that i was making you nauseous, that you were holding back vomit. So i told you that if you were that scared i would just go home but you insisted that i stayed. We drove back to your house and i laid on your couch and you cuddled up next to me. I knew in my head that you were not ready so i did not try anything. I wrapped my arms around you and we watched the movie together. But at the last second, before i left, you kissed me. And all hell broke loose after that. I felt as if i stole you away from your body, stole you away from the things that you are comfortable with. I felt guilty and angry that I was the one you chose to be your first. You were not ready for this and i could feel your body trembling underneath of me as if in agreement to what i was thinking but i let it happen anyway. And if there was any way that i could reverse what happened and never meet you in the first place, i would do it in a heartbeat. i broke your heart and i was your first. I think i'm more broken about this than you are. But the thing was, you never really kissed me. You did this because you were afraid to lose me. As if giving yourself to me was a form of glue, that if our skin touched together we would become inseparable but that is not how this works. You kissed your fear instead of me.
Surprising how much I abhorred them,
they made me cringe inside.
But now I love those
little things, they make me burst with joy.
Your bony fingers used to make
my skin conjure up little bumps
Now, I think they are so beautiful
creating majestic works of art.
Your long black hair almost covered
your arched eyebrows.
Thought it was a terrible haircut,
Now, I'd rather you let them down.
your beady little eyes
moved in sync with the curling
of your thin lips,
whenever you made a sarcastic or cheesy
they used to creep me out,
now, I think that makes me like you better.
the shape of your clothes molded around
your small frame,
I always secretly thought
you looked good (whispers great)
Those things I thought ugly
Became beautiful, sweet memories
that make up, add up
to = you.
You know this never should have happened.
I was never suppose to write a single poem.
Let alone have followers, comments and views.
But here we are and I have you to thank.
And this is my thank you to you all.
My first round of 'thank you's' goes to my followers.
Devlin Andrew Harris, who is quite remarkable, followed me before I had even written anything.
Charlotte Weigh, my most favorite person in the whole world
Nicholas Jones, you were inspiration behind 100 of my poems; yes I counted.
Alysia Michelle; if you ever find yourself in Oregon we'll get some donuts ;P
Harry J Baxter
Nolan Fillman, you have no idea how much your following me, liking my poems, and comment meant to me.
THE WHITE RABIT
Floyd Allen Michael Redenbaugh
Nat Lipstadt, who is beyond brilliant and honored me with being a subject of his writing
Jonny Angel, thank you
Miss Jade Murder
Emily Rose Williams
Timothy, the nicest commenter ever
Peyton, she's pretty fantastic
Tyler Lynn Pulliam
Fadi Shaker, thank you
Kevin Song, sorry I'm not much of a talker
Soul in Torment, beyond words of the skill this one has.
Kelly Rose, thank you
Bailee K, missing you girl
Bilal Kaci, thank you too
Blue K, greatness she has
Tristan Costello, hello
Sadie K, the one with her hands covering her face
Queen of Pancakes, yes you
Whit Trash and Retarded
Ryan Cullen Macleod
The Masked Sleepyz
Okoye Chude Maryanne
and Haley Madison
Next my thanks wants to go to those who took the time to like and comment.
Ernest Gone, one of the first
Joshua X Noheart
Joshua Wann, this guy is the stuff
Andrew Joseph O'Donnell
A Mess of Words, you have no idea how highly I hold you. If this is a 'mess' I hope it never get's cleaned up
Austin Skye, thank you
Heather E Perry
4 different ---, why are you hiding from me?!
I wish I could cry
Kitty named Bailey
Whinging Wonder, I'm sorry
Chandin Clinton, I was never more honored.
Enter Name Here
Sally A Bayan
Yong Hwan Son
Rose Saba, thank you
The Wolf on Red Street
Josh Nunn, hats :)
N, hey you
Michael J Davies
Alexandria Christine Lund
Andrew Siegel, thank you
and Jade Ellen Peel.
And of course to all of you who read my words.
That means a lot to me.
And sure I could have simply said
"I hit 20,000 views thank you all!"
But honestly it means SO much that I needed
to thank each one of you individually.
I am know the pain and frustration of having a name misspelt so let me know and I'll fix it :)