I miss our nights,
After the bad ones,
The worst ones.
You found me,
How to roll it.
You were a good teacher,
You made me listen,
You were a good listener,
You made me talk.
So did and do I.
Can't imagine my life with out you, am sitting here at the lake, staring at you face reflection on the water. Your face is everywhere, the happy, smiley, sad, mad and the happy face again face.
You helped me explore my self, you changed me a lot, i met myself right after i met you, no one ever told me how smart i am, even if am not very smart, but at least you said it, and i felt it for the first time.
You tought me how to fight, how to go through shit by my self, you didn't say that, but i learned it from your actions and your view of life.
You always smiled, even when you get really mad, you started the fight and ended, you started the conversation and kept it, you started me and you killed me.
Its been three days, two nights, 72 hours is the total. I'M still awake, didn't blink, am not tired tho, just enjoying the time while am watching a tape of you with all the moments crossing in front of my eyes.
Thank you for everything you'd done,
Thank you for all the encouragement words,
Thank you for finding my real personality,
Thank you for giving me the best moments,
Thank you for all the info. Doses you put in me,
Thank you for being there when no one was,
Thank you for listening to my boredom talks,
Thank you for making me feel like human,
Thank you for EVERYTHING, yes everything.
I have a lot to say, from the deepest part of my heart, but my i can't see nothing, my tears are covering the view. I was thankful for having you, waking up on your texts, maybe calls, but the most feeling your love while your sleeping on my shoulder.
Don't know what else to say, I'M IN LOVE WITH EVERY litters in your name, with every moment i hear your voice, whit every time i see your texts or emails, with every sec I have you in mind.
I don't care what you'd done, its all good, i already forget about it, you do whatever you want, its all good, fight and yell at me, its all good, HATE me, its all good, kill me, hurt me, insult me, fuck me, do whatever you want, its all good. They all were like the heaven, i just knew that.
Ok, am done, words are killing me.
Ok, am done, you're too amazing to be written about.
Ok, am done, I'm serious this time.
I just realized that i had the world between my hands, you loved me like no one else did, you really cared about me.
Excuse my JEALOUSY, it covered most of the view.
Excuse my EARS, i couldn't hear you talking to another guy.
Excuse my heart, made me too stupid to understand.
I just couldn't believe that am having a life after all these years. I thought it's a dream, but i was okay with that, i didn't want to wake up, and i lost you after the pomp that woke me up.
I just understood what you were saying,,,,,,
"Too good too bad" she says.
I LOVE YOU Melanie,
I LOVE YOU,
I ADORE YOU,Melanie
I ADORE YOU
YOU STILL MY EVERYTHING, and the only thing that i prayed every time to keep, but to bad, i didn't get that.
I do not know you,
But I feel you.
The way your words brighten the page
Makes my heart ache.
I want someone to love you back
To be yours
And make the glossy tears in your eyes become those of happiness.
I don't know you outside of poetry
But I know you must be a wonderful person
Feel free to pour your heart into these pages
And know that I'm listening.
I want your memories to light up your face
Your broken heart to make you stronger
Because I can feel you,
Your presence in your words.
And so are you.
I don't know you.
But I wish I did.
I must be humble as
I journey on the arrogant search
I must be a part of one
and at once all alone;
neither at the bottom
nor the top
of my human family
I must be calm in
and yet unaware of the
tranquility of my being
I must find balance
while not seeking it
I must be serendipitous
without reveling in my serendipity
I must all at once listen
to my critics
and let their words
roll off my shoulders like rain
To find balance you must lose it
and all the while
be unaware of the balance beam
you teeter on.
What can I say,
I love the attention of temptation.
because I am the one holding the apple
granting the answers you seek.
Because I am curious to what bodies feel like
especially my own, made new by new hands.
This poison goes down with the sweetest burn,
hot and heavy, slowly dissolving
its always in the eyes.
And the drugs never work, quite the way you want them too.
With a numb throat I hold my words for ransom
We never quite reach out toward each other,
and never know why. There is only glimpses and smiles, and hearts quickening for a brief longing
that lasts til dawn
like spell, or perhaps a curse.
But we aren't in a fairy tail
and I'm too busy chasing my dreams
and befriending my nightmares,
to chase you.
I'm running with the wind.
It snowed all day today
First snow of the season
From the time I woke up to the moment I went to bed
The snow was so powdery
All there was, was glitter in the air
You see, I still want to tell you about my day
Because there are people that come in our lives
And they mean so much it doesn't make any sense
But they do.
I find myself still writing for you
Even though you don't want me to
But after a hundred poems it's hard to stop
My word's seem to come easy when I'm hurting
Often though, angry words are not meant
And actions are unfairly judged just through words
I'm not trying to get back what we had
But no one should feel not good enough.
We may accept the love we think we deserve
But often we deserve far more than we think.
And hush, you did. You do.
I keep checking in on you to make sure you're okay
And it kills me to know that you're not
What you consider flaws are simply the
Little quirks I saw back on your porch that made me smile
I hope you live; that you are more than just alive
Because I know you are a good person
Who deserves all the happiness and love in the world
And I would have gladly spent
The rest of my life proving it to you
Someone can't go from being the center of your world
Straight to nothing over night
I too, still think about you always ...
It's only been a week...
I'll keep it bottled up inside
because I hate the cold outside.
Hatred for the world, and lies after lies.
They eat away inside, words I've left unsaid.
It can't hurt me now,
I'm simply already dead.
I'm lost in words some days,
from this sadness that lurks.
It takes my voice away from me-
leaving me with not much to say.
Besides this silence that I have within myself,
I'm always thinking but barely speaking.
Honestly I wish I could change that about myself,
but I don't know how.
When I tell you about how I feel I'm just...
afraid you'll leave like the rest.
Due to the fact you want to give up,
and I'm sorry I am always quiet.
Sometimes this sadness is too strong for words.
Please, don’t mind that I borrowed your words again
Because I’m in love with the is-ness
Of you, of thought, of the Cosmos
Like two mirrors looking upon each other
Infinitely close, no identity to be seen
And every thing, every instance, every bit of this Universe holds this in its being.
And the awareness of this
Is that in itself.
We are greater than the sum of our parts
Each atom is a part of us, as we are each a part of this vast creation.
So to fathom what all is, is to see into the heart of the cosmos
And I see you
And I see me
And we are both and all, is.
And now more than ever, all I believe in is love.
I'm reading this book.
It says that little boxer puppies are never taken to their vet
When they get their ears cut.
It says "The point is, whoever cuts your ears off is the one you'll hate for the rest of your life."
Go ahead, watch me.
Watch me go down.
All Knowing One,
With your sage advice and that smirk that means you're righter
To make me quail
Try to twist the knife and force me to give up on her,
I dare you.
See what happens.
I will go up in flames
With a terrible beauty you've never seen.
I will die like a star,
Smash so completely that
You go blind from the light of my explosion.
I am a nuclear war of a person.
You want to press the red button?
Think it's a decoy?
I don't play games.
I go down
I go down hard
I see it coming miles off
And I never
Back out of it.
You want to warn me?
You couldn't wait to say it, could you?
The words you knew would rip through me like shrapnel
You couldn't wait to be right
That I will fail.
You want to drive me off,
Hurt me into giving up,
Give me the advice that saves my life?
Oh, fuck you,
I will burn in hell
Because it is my choice if I do.
Was it satisfying to see the coldness creep into my eyes,
My heart turn to stone in defense?
I tried to cut you off-
I knew any mention of her from your lips would be a knife edge-
But you barreled on, cruel and eager,
And it hit me like you knew it would.
Once I told you
That the mention of her name makes me shake.
Once I showed you
And maybe you're
Just stupid as hell
And you forgot,
But I think you never forget.
I think you knew.
It's not your right to rip my heart out.
It's not your power.
And when you steal it,
You deface me,
You defile me,
How dare you?
And this will pass, I will cool like lava into rock,
But let me tell you
Right now I
Hate you for knowing
And saying it anyhow.
Color, she dislike me
Absence, common thought
Rotting stench and dirt are friends
And in a new way I'm collapsing again, reciprocally
I'm passed that all though (though dem' thoughts always be wit' meh)
It's no more (though, still)
And now the keyboard takes over! HIT each STROKE with PASS-I-ON!
Now my fingers no longer belong to me! LINK finger and mind (without anything else)
Now my mind no longer is in existence! I'm one with these words! (quotation contraceptive)
Now truth is here to tell it's lies to destiny and me