I am gone and out of sight. So why should you care? There is nothing left in this soggy sad tale, of childhood self-defeating. The center city of my times and my observations all out of sight. So why should you care? The silent soliloquies and trending electric doom. The death and reconstruction of vast empires and deserts blazing in thier teething tyrannous rise. The unconscious attitude of millions quietly scoffed at by philosophers in dark, locked closets. The waves of our own gluttonous self classification completely illuminated on the firing line and who had no last words for any of thier sins. The failure of our own cultivated mold, on our own rock, on our own time, surely a good place to stop this december. It's now, so why should you care?
Things will see well, said the city. No neon corpuscles. No dead-light street corners. Just me and the Five lying about which way to get home.
I seem to want to hate them all. Every last golden memory. Just find an other.
11-7-12
These streets and hidden walkways are my mischief parody now. A mockery of what this city had been to me, a false harken to nothing better yet still...her and me...and us and them...we could of been so grand if things had just fallen better.
I would have that job at some cubicle in some skyscraper and you would work in the schools with the kids who needed your love and they would struggle and be grateful. Our days would be full and meaningful with hopeful promises of progress and achievement. Then in the evenings I would pace my way home, to our home, the one on the hillside, with a window and balcony overlooking everything. And we would have a daughter and a son in the works and make love on a whim, enough love for the both of us every-time. And you would spill your day in front of me, everyday and I would never grow tired of any of it. And then in the morning I would rise quiet not to wake you and boil a full pot of coffee, not the expensive kind but just coffee, and read my paper on the warming kitchen table. I would read of politics and people and cats in trees and drink another sip. And you would wake and peek around the corner showing only a quiet smile and at my sight you sat and gently nursed the cup I had already poured for you. Still silent you would crawl into the chair as shiver ran down your spine, revealing the winkles in your face as you puckered but returned to the sereneness that was your always-expression, the same creeping smile that asked nothing but gave so much. [As you ask] Soon I tell you the happenings of our world and paint you the window I had only just read. Piecing together my words in bundles of sage breviloquence, still sifting through the chalky pages as you sighed in such sunrise-joy. And you would leave early as I left not to soon after and we both drove our own cars and parked them at our work and went about our day. And I would drive home from my cubicle to our house on the hill with our plan for a daughter and make love to you in many places, wait for you to go to sleep and find my way out to the balcony. And I would look for hours at the skyline, of the midnight machinery, dripping seas in black, of my own invention. And I would wait for you to come around that corner, out to the balcony, with your hair in your hands beaconing for me to come back to bed, because you knew all the thoughts in my mind and none where worth having in this late, in this night, with this job, with this car, in this place, on this hillside beaconing as well for me to stay. And I would phantom back to your side then remember the child we had on the way, only earlier that day, you told me, and I barely believed the words meant what they did, in this time, in this way. Then maybe on that day we would hold our child and look at him, or her, and you would say something kind and I would agree. And we would live in our house on the hillside for many years and you would still teach children, our children. And I would still get a raise every now and again at the job I would drive to except on tuesdays when we would all stay at home and play and laugh and gather up our dreams in a pot and burry it in the backyard. And our days would still be full and meaningful with hopeful promises of progress and achievement. And the kids would still need your love and be grateful. And so would I, after all these years, every-time enough.
It's getting kinda old,
You know..??
I'm drained and tired,
Worned out by your fights.
Our fights.
Your words always accepted,
While I bury mine unspoken.
The one sided fight,
Where the opponent is silent.
No,
This isn't fair.
But fair doesn't exist.
Fair is a word that is created in fantasies,
Fair is a word spoken only in fairy tales.
I want this to stop.
We want this to stop.
Wait, don't you.....?
You don't speak the words,
But your actions strongly differ.
With every moment we spend together,
You explain to me the answer.
Why,
Why you treat me different now.
When nothing has really changed.
Your abhorring stares and frowns of detestation.
You tell me,
I don't belong here,
I took away your freedom.
I deserve to die.
You want me dead.
I wrote a vision called Heaven's garden for Seung.
She put me to task one day to write about nature
I found the words but the feelings came later.
Now that garden is a real place and she haunts my desires
something fell from the shelf from a hidden place.I don't know where it
belongs so I can't return it.
by Jonathan D Maraccini
Life intertwined swallows the smoke and mirrors of bitter thirst.
Thus terrible people produce monstrous dreams and have no remorse.
I see a million locked boxes full of paper faces,
any who walk among the wretched faces will endure a terrible curse.
One night, on Christmas Eve
My wounded hand was forced
The planets and the stars began to change their course
A course that was methodically endorsed
Then broke apart by the spell of divorce
And so I read
Heed this warning and learn,
she will come like a thief in the night,
and run your heart with a dagger.
She will poison the family with lies,
then leave you to burn,
leave you to die
The dark arts was stirring in my soul
Pulsating a cadence of revenge
Mumbling words I couldn't comprehend
Then a voice spoke, so now I understand
I do this not because I lack control
I do this because I can
So I turned the page and read from the book again
Lies through a mask of shame
break souls in any scenario
Shifting shadows I saw a ghost of a women in flight
So I raised my hands
Breathing these words in the night
Voco artibus tenebrosis
Goodbye home
Goodbye wife
Goodbye daughter
Goodbye life
With an echo in the house
Alone I cried
Then I heard a dark shadow speak from outside
It's going to be a nice night
Get dressed and be ready to fight
So be it, I thought
Black jacket, black gloves, black tie
Black pants, black boots
And a mask painted white
Then I grabbed the book and jumped in my ride
Drove for an hour until I finally arrived
Walked to the door then slipped out of site
Through a window I quietly slid inside
Sitting in the living room she's with some other guy
I danced in the room and yelled surprise!
He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife
She sat there in shock, then began to cry
I reached in a bag that was strapped to my thigh
I brought C4 and a detonation device
Get face down or we're all gonna die
Then I sang a song while their hands were tied
I smiled at them with contemptuous delight
Then something happened I could not deny
My mathematical perception whether it be wrong or right
Good or bad
Surrender or fight
Was distorted when my daughter walked in and said hi
I stood up, smiled then hugged her tight
I looked up and saw a helicopter light
The cops rushed in
I waved at my daughter then closed my eye's
(A few months later - in court)
Maybe like Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde came back
The Judge said will let the jury decide that
My attorney turned like a great acrobat
The defendant was out of his mind!
He claims to hear voices from another time
He didn't mean to snap
He didn't mean to kidnap
Or strap that bomb to her back
This man speaks in riddles and ryhmes
He claims this old book helped him plan the attack
But the pages are empty
Can you imagine that
Maybe he's blind
He claims he saw a half women, half cat
The defendant is clearly troubled
Or even addicted to crack
Jury of the court, his train is clearly off track
Find it in your heart and give him some slack
That is when I stood up, cleared my throat
People of the jury, your honor, may I take the stand?
If you must he said
So I stepped up and began
Let me reiterate who I really am
I am a force that chose to stay dormant
I am the big boot that stomps the little ant
Now somebody wants to force my hand
So now the dark arts is about to expand
Ready to crawl into my cerebellum
Ready to reboot and take command
Let me read from the Book again
Written 10,000 years ago by the Mage Abraham
I stood up, opened the book, and summoned an hourglass with my pen
But I was never planning to surrender my friends
The doors to the courtroom clanked shut from within
Then I fluttered my fingers and called a great wind
It pulsated with thunder, the room began to spin
The hourglass shuttered with the last grain of sand
The floor split open and the jury fell in
The furniture grew teeth then everyone ran
I smiled at the judge poor little lamb
Then a pack of wolves devoured the man
Then the wind and the wolves and the shadows of the land
Heard me say goodbye
Goodbye wife
Goodbye daughter
Goodbye life
Voco artibus tenebrosis
Then I vanished into my world of pretend
The End
VAPORSiX CREATiONS
honey let me show you pretty words
let me strum your veins
feel the tinkle of my chimes
let the letters make love to you
they know about your dimples
not just the ones on your face
and they know about the way your voice
plays on waves like a sparrow
let them flutter on your tongue
like mine
and know you are incredible
let them prod at your mind
and dream of adequacy
for your intellect is dizzying
let fairy dust dance on your nose
because you must be magic
let me love you
let these words love you
by Jonathan D Maraccini
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
When I was young I had a dream
It was the day I turned 14
I was a king who married a queen underneath a beautiful cedar tree
In this dream we had a beautiful baby then we lived happily ever after
What a perfect ending, everything was perfect it seemed
Then tragedy struck without warning
In this dream
I lost my home, my wife, my child
In this dream
I lost my wonderful family
With tears of sorrow underneath the cedar tree I screamed
Then I fell to the ground and said some horrible things in the darkness
But it was all just a dream I remind you
At least that is what I was told that night
The day I turned 14
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
I am not a little boy any longer
I grew up and became a man
Then I met a beautiful women
How she made me happy then
So we married and had a daughter
The happiest day of my life
Was the day I became a father
A bond had formed as I watched her eyes
I held her close to keep her warm
I knew I would never leave her
Life was a perfect delight
Or so I thought, or so I thought
In the end
We leave our mark
In the end someones the victim
A fool from the very start
Like lambs for the slaughter
As the truth is hidden
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
Sitting on a bench in a redwood forest
I heard a bird sing a glorious song
This was not my imagination
So I began to sing along
Next to me a girl with black hair
We laughed together
We walked together
Love of the forest we both shared
Her eyes were black, her hair was long
Such a spectacle
Nothing on earth could ever go wrong
Or so I hoped, or so I hoped
Knock on wood
For I was blind
Evil was there the entire time
Sitting underneath a cedar tree
Whistling a haunting song
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
Eventually she left me
It was Christmas Eve
She took my daughter
She took the angel from me
She ran away
She spread her wings of deceit
She lied to everybody
But first she lied to me
Maybe she was the one whistling
Underneath the cedar tree
Underneath the cedar tree
Where evil withered the leaves
So now I hate her
The destroyer of beautiful dreams
The filthy liar
The wrecker of families
As I wither away behind her
I’m left with only my words
With the cedar tree on fire
I quench my angry thirst
And my pain becomes a curse
I do not care who see's these words
My anger festers for all
Two faced liars in a family herd
So stand in line as I fall
It is what it is
When it is understood
It is all it has been
For the bad and the good
As I hang on this cross
As I hang underneath the cedar tree
Crucified to this wood
© JDMaraccini
VAPORSiX CREATiONS
Smack, jab! Left, right,
watch out I bite!
I process words
too fast,
they move like
flashes through my thoughts,
I don't make them, they don't make me.
I bash my head into a turtle skeleton,
pelicans, stay out of the way.
Wish wash kind of washer head,
wolf wild but walker wed,
stupid is as stupid ever gets when
stupid is what stupid said he'd turn
stupid,
what he'd spurn, stupid
pedestrian...
I, always the equestrian
and never stupid (and never wasteful
but always mindful, mind you!), like
to think that I do this for fun.
I do this for fun.
When was the last time I saw you
We've been long overdue
Losing our time to talk with each other
You've been locked up by your mother
I wonder what girl I’ll be talking to
It sometimes felt old and new
I guess I deserve the bad side
Our love, we shared had died
What can I do but listen to the pain?
I’ve never felt so much shame
Maybe if I write you one happy story
You’d feel a little bundle of glory
Recognizing the good I can do
You never came to appreciate the new
I felt so alone and cold
Maybe happiness will help the old
Hoping one day you’d read it
Just feeling one ounce of bright lit
Sharing that old soft smile of yours again
I hope you enjoy the tales
I write these under tired pales
Endless nights of rewrites
Kind of like spiraling kites
Tangled up and floating away
Every day, day after day
I write a hundred words down
There is no better way for a king and his crown
The truth is I write because of you
You never make feel so blue
I’ll sit here at these keyboards
Trying to hold onto all of these musical chords
This is my best way of showing I love you
But all of this will come to drown
This is just my wishful spirit typing these memories down
And I loved you there
Lips pouted in rebellion
So many leaves to shred
So many ghosts to chase
The glass doors were closed.
And I loved you there
As you deciphered numerical impossibilities
On another plane of reality
Brow furrowed in intimate concentration
I averted my eyes from the questions you pondered.
And I loved you there
Angry fists filled with contempt towards yourself
Unable to find the words
A mirrored universe between us
And you can't get through.
And I loved you there
My incredible, awestruck son
Trapped, forever a child
Contemplating the mysteries of life
You discovered the truth of this world.
An angel's smile struck your lips
And I loved you there
As you forgot it all.
