Created July 2, 2012
Meredith, I can breath
though I've seen things no man shouldve seen
Meredith i see straight
my legs they tremble but my heart aches
walking along the waves
my heads in space
should i speak of these ways
Meredith my knees are weak
Im scared of disease and i cant sleep
and if she does go with him
i'll die alone
i will just keep believing and hoping that that ain't so
meredith, my souls broke loose, now that the bottles open
you can smell that I've been bruised
but I'm tackling questions
im tackling flaw
cuz the bottom of the oceans where I've been all along
so what i'm gonna do's go at my own pace
and I aint a gunna let a thing get in my way
I destroy homes.
I tear families apart.
I'm more costly than diamonds,more precious than gold.
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me,remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you.
I live with the rich,I live with the poor,down the street & maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab,but not like you think.
I can be made under your kitchen sink.
I have many names but there's one you know best,my name is Crystal Meth.
My power is awesome,try me you'll see.
But if you do you may never break free.
Just try me once & I may let you go.
But try me twice & I'll own your soul.
When I possess you you'll steal & you'll lie.
You do what you have to-just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms,will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms (your lungs & your nose).
You'll lie to your mother,you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears - you should be sad.-
But you'll forget your morals & how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience.
I'll teach you my ways.
I turn people from God & separate friends.
I'll take everything from you.
Your looks & your pride.
I'll be with you always-right by your side.
You'll give up everything,your family,your home.
Your friends,your money,then you'll be alone.
I'll take & take,till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you,you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned-this is no game.
If given the chance I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body.
I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely.
Your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats,the shakes,the visions you'll see.
I want you to know these are all gifts from me.
You'll regret that you tried me,they always do.
But you came to me - Not I to You!
You knew this would happen,many times you were told.
But you challenged my power & chose to be bold.
You could have said no & walked away.
If you could have that day over what would you say?
I'll be your master & you my slave.
I'll even go with you to your Grave.
Come take my hand,let me lead you to hell.
i am a fighter. the most competitive and the most unforgiving. my heart is wilted, but i will take it. and so will you. my punching bag. worn from my incessant bickering. torn from my attempts to rip apart your spirit. but you. you roll with the punches. you feed my fire. and i ask you to feed my fire. crumple my insecurities and toss them in a waste basket. relentless but restless. persistant. insistent. why. why do you brace and watch. me. crossing my fingers. hoping the ice will crack. take us down. make us drown. i fall and will fall. into a million pieces. again and again. pathetic and needy. wanting you to need to me. wanting you to leave me for someone else’s taking. someone else’s breaking. but you don’t. you get down. on your hands and your knees. with a magnifying glass. looking for the pieces that fit together. every bit and every glimmer of my complication. my skeleton of a soul. why. why when i leave you to find me in the dark. my ruthless game of hide and seek. to find me. to unwind me. catch me and grind me. the ways i grind you. leaving you without any light. without a way back to me. do it yourself. i am relentless but restless. persistant. insistent. but still you play. you stay. why, why do you stay. waiting until i decide to switch the light back on. until i decide to give up. you think you will win. but i am the toxic type. the no missed calls. the watch you fall. the wants you to hurt. become bruised. and become used. become just like me. the needs to push you away. but wants you to stay. my heart is hard. my heart is tough. and you will never, ever understand. that love means surrender. to you. to me. and to all that i am.
i sit here.
and think of the ways you dominate my thoughts.
but can never seem to dominate my page.
complicated, and endless.
the truest thing i have ever known,
and the most dangerous.
because while you bring every part of me to life,
you could be the death of me.
and you unravel.
you are good at unraveling me.
and dissecting me and extracting pieces.
putting them back into place—
before i ever notice i am incomplete.
you dig your way into my deepest parts,
never asking for permission.
never asking for forgiveness.
and i would never ask you to apologize.
you take me in doses, but i take you whole.
gasping for air, but wanting more.
each and every single time.
what is it about you that makes me this way?
and why is it that in your eyes,
i find a grave where i can rest.
peacefully. finally. after all this time.
i have been waiting for this. waiting—
whatever it is—
that you are.
i thought i loved you
i thought all the letters
and bear hugs
and whispered promises
were your little ways of telling me
you loved me too
i couldn't have been more wrong.
My history is
deeply into my
skin. Carefully, I
trace out my
story in delicate
sure to be perfect
because the ink
I wrote my life
you will write
yours. You do not
understand and I
hope you never will.
No one deserves
a bloody past,
present, or future,
but the rain still
continues to fall
hardest on those
who deserve the
Sun. The world
works in mysterious
ways and some
were simply not
meant to last.
Sometimes I like to be random. I guess my whole life’s been pretty random. I don’t like to think before I speak. I sometimes start my sentences mid thought... My dad hates that. I like to go swimming at night, and have breakfast for dinner. Sometimes you have to change it up. Because mundane is boring. And before you know it, you’ll be too set in your own ways to change anything. Girls are confusing. Boys are oblivious. And generalizations suck.
I like to change it up because sometimes the only thing you can control is what you do. That doesn’t seem like much, but its more than what some people have. My favorite color is green. Once I taught myself the entire alphabet backwards... just because. I have a stuffed Unicorn named Sparkles and he is a boy. I bought him for myself last week.
I like change, but crave the routine. Weird isn’t it. Well weird is pretty accurate for a girl who likes Nickelodeon more than MTV. Netflix with my dog and parents more than parties. Sometimes I even go to late movies... With my mom. Then again sometimes, I just like to be random.
You were always good at hiding things
Made me think twice about that wedding ring...
Nervous laughter changing the topic
But your interest in my life was microscopic.
Honey how was your day?
I saw you holding hands with someone that wasn't me.
Yes. I know you'd never betray
There is a good reason
and my heart defends this treason.
My eyes overruled in disbelief
as I watch you smirk in mischief.
I'm falling trap to your charms,
and willing to risk that pain
Hoping my love will change
There's only so many ways to cry
and only so many corners to hide in
outside your illuminated little head.
When the tears kiss your ruby cheeks
or trickle to the concrete
the realness will inevitably snap back.
But, if you truly try to,
you can sob and wreath forever in your mind
and still never have to stop to breathe.
Where's your make up honey?
What happened to your hair?
That's a different pair
New attitude ; that's cool
Realization that the new trend is rude
Huh? What you say?
You said at this rate the next fashion statement have to be nude
No more clubbing?
You tired of sharing spaces in places where you have to refer to Men as "dude"
Strangers steadily attempting to intrude
Now you making plans with family and friends
I heard you saying that you rather enjoy yourself with the people who been with you since the long ways
Recollecting the old days
I'm glad that the feeling is now mutual
And that you are finished with trying to be cute
Because you are already simply beautiful