You were my rock
I was just your stepping stone
So when you said goodbye,
Naturally my heart sank
And yours didn't skip a beat
How come you were the one who made me believe that you believed in me?
So I finally believed in you too
I believed in you more than anyone I'd ever been with before
So how come you were the one to make me the worlds biggest joke?
You took me higher than I'd ever been
Only to drop me so deep, the water barely rippled
You knew you had me in the palm of your hand
I thought you knew you were holding my heart, not just my hand
I could've waited for forever to end for you
But you turned the tide on me
And I was washed away by all your lies
I kept thrashing through them, trying to get back to the you I knew
I didn't realize that in that icy water my heart froze over, and hope died
I didn't want to go
I kept looking for your hand to pull me out, to stop me from drowning in the loss of a love I thought was true
But, you weren't there for me
And you never really had been
It took a lot of being stepped on and looked over for me to see...
So I wrote you this note
I folded it up nice and neat, and tied it to a rock with a red bow
I thought about throwing it in your face, like how your lack of concern for me was a slap in my face
But.. I can't wound you when none of my heartache is a weapon
The wind is brisk and harsh coming off the black, icy water below
The same water my heart sank to the bottom of when you just..let me go
So naturally I let you go there too
The water stung when it splashed on my face as I dropped my rock
It quickly vanished out of sight
Just as you had
Like my heart did that unforgettable day
You might have walked away as I sunk to the bottom but...
I stood there staring at the waters surface ,even though it had been still much longer than it had rippled as my rock sank
You were my rock
You will always follow me
Like melting canyon walls
Grown of glass
Forever folding inward
At my back.
In my mind;
Even when the rain clears up
You still stir
Your whitened waters.
Where heat still settles
In only the South
The sun stole every sip
Slurped up every drop
From every pore
In my thinned body.
You almost killed me.
I suppose-Even then-You tried
To save me
Hives across my body:
Holding aquifer pockets of your own blood.
You tried to warn me
With swollen, itchy
My fingers burned,
But I went to sleep.
Awakened with delusion
You kicked at the curve
Of my knee
With only pain running through my bedrock veins.
You left me,
With white running down my face.
You showed me how much mama loves me
Bent over my body
With her own salty piece of you
Falling in my face.
I could no longer hold you
No matter how much I longed to.
Mama took me to you.
Again, like glass on a November morning you sent ice through my blue and back to my heart.
Until you brought me conscious.
Twice mama had taken me to you
And on the first I'd fallen in love.
Hooked to an EKG
They pulled tubes of my blood from body
My eyes rolled back to when we met;
Weakened, I held only a blurred memory
Of three years ago
When you carried me over your muddied body,
Still with softened white ripples,
And warmed- no matter how far upstream- by July.
It was there
Touching the silk of your skin
With sun on my chest
And life at my back
That I promised
I'd loved you.
I leave my almost daydream.
In my double vision
I see eight
With four pairs of scrubs
One set black
Then Navy blue.
You sink back into my filtered memory
Holding tight subconsciously.
An IV now in my right arm
I ask what you are.
Moms hand comes off my back
I've stopped sweating
She leads-You led
My head back
I wait an hour
The shivers subside
Color comes comes back
My head falls to the right
I watch you drip
As I drift.
I awaken then
The objects in front of me now follow in suit with my eyes
Their image no longer drags behind them
The way things do with five drinks on a bar stool.
I look to momma
Beside me and at my foot.
I drop my head to the right again
To see your slow drip;
I never knew how much I needed you
In my mechanical bed
With my mama clutching my hand
And you clutching my arm.
It was then that I gave you my second promise;
I was going to save you too.
My body disobeys me.
Each step forces me to exercise parts of my body
I didn’t know had subsisted.
I hardly controlled my maneuvers,
as I basically drifted.
Even my helmet is showing signs of weakening,
under these steepening,
Terrified and trembling with my humanly gestures,
I must have sent vibrations throughout
the cold water as the creatures began to circle over my head.
I could see off in the distance
the submarine of my former occupation.
A distant iconic stationary emblem of my failures.
Then, the porpoises and scaled beasts parted
to contrast a heavenly sight.
No corpses or failed feasts started
in the ballast of this night.
For a maiden of duality
saved my beckoning soul
from the eternal slumber
that had otherwise awaited.
The rest of this tale I leave up to the mystery
of word of mouth.
But what must be said is that underneath
the blue waters lies
much that we do not begin to conceive.
Take it or leave it,
I cant force a man to believe.
Into the night I softly went
and treaded on sleepers' dreams.
Those quiet hours though were spent
not as quitly as it would seem.
Through the dreamers' eyes I saw
dragons fall and kings mighty rise;
other worlds at which to awe
were sprung to life before my eyes.
I danced among the expanse of stars
of colours only the mind can sight,
and in the waters of Lethe's reservoir
submerged and took delight.
There were mermaids and pirates there,
a chesire cat upon the crescent moon,
castles high up in the air
held aloft with big baloons.
To think that when they awake
these wonders they won't recall.
All they see here they do forsake -
to dreams they leave it all.
But when the hour breathes the dawn
and the dreamers' eyes hold the day,
I find my night still beating on -
with my dreams I choose to stay.
Born into eternity
Before men, after God.
We age in lives
What men do in years.
In junctions we fill
The empty shells to be
Born into human it y
To test the waters
Of the burdensome lusts;
Into the priveledge
That is free will.
I have lived 7 lives of men
And I know I have loved
In the same spirit and fullness
In each frame of life.
Losing and finding my soul mate
In a devine violent
Atlas of repetition.
These that follow are the seven lives
Of this soul and my mate.
I often drown in my thoughts while lying in my ocean-like bed.
Becoming more and more seasick each time you appear in my head.
Once upon a time I wanted to be a passenger on your battleship;
or more like your co-captain.
Pretending as if the waves didn’t bother me.
Imagining the never ending storm called us was just precipitation
and not a natural disaster;
our unnatural disaster.
As much as I wanted you,
the sun appeared the day you walked out.
It was beautiful.
Years of tears evaporated by the light of a new day
and suddenly I became grateful for all you never were.
Your poisoned waters may have crippled my soul
but your absence made me new.
Now I’m laid back, sailing through life,
as you fade into the rear view.
These days the future is hazy
The job I work means nothing
It's 6 AM and I'm feeling crazy
I don't care about fucking anything
My life is a smudged question mark
Written on an empty folder
I just want to go down to the park
After all, I'm only getting older
I'm getting too old
Now I'm only 21 but listen here
I might not have seen it all
But I've seen enough for me to say
Answer your phone when you get the call
It won't ring twice but it always rings true
I'm just trying to get it through to you
Skipping rocks in still waters
Smoking pot up on the roof
I don't know why I even bother
But I know what I'm saying is the truth
Now it's time to go back again
And again the same feeling haunts me
I'm telling you as your honest friend
You need to adjust your vision before you see
And then run away with me
three words and eight letters fell in between the cracks
of your fingers like sand, not even realizing you were holding
my heart somewhere in there as it conjoined with the earth
my stem grew sixteen feet in all directions and grew sixteen feet
tall, with branches that holds photographs of memories i've
forgotten about already, like waters that don't cease with
waves that drag you under like hands at your ankles
but people don't drag you down, our past drags us down
your bedroom walls accompany you, helping you not sleep alone tonight
the darkness isn't full of nightmares but it's not so clean either
it ensnares you, cripples you, tears you bone by bone into the enemy
you were careful to avoid being what you said you would never be
but not careful enough, we thought we couldn't sink in dangerous waters
the past dragged you down the depths and shallows of it's cold grotto
i wish i had a sixth sense perception, become a wallflower, a housefly, eyes watching
from the very corners of their eyes, visible enough to remind you, i exist
i am very real and i am very destructive and i am restricted from sight
and i am so unhappy with myself.
Nature heals all
A gentle breeze can
lift the negative thoughts
The soothing waters
Can bring solace
To those in need
Supplements the transition
From your past self to your new self
And it is through Fire
That you are reborn,
Unchained to your troubled passed
Free to start a new life.
You are the Sun
Every beam of light
Tickles my ear
About the sweet
Beauty of your
When the photons
Of your effulgence
Lap at my skin
Into my feathery thoughts,
Floating along gusts
Of untainted dreams.
Every one of them
Is me burning up
In bursts of
your graceful plasma
The sad-faced moon
That eclipses your brightness
Petrifies my heart
Sinking it to the depths
Of frozen lakes, but
My heart glows
With golden rays
I stored away
Within my aortas
It slowly scalds
The azure waters
The frigid nights
And flurried storms.
Fade out eventually
And your radiant elegance
Melts my heart
You light up
My anguished world
Every smile upon
My trepid face
Is a reflection of
You are the Sun
And I am your Copernicus