life is a line
and all the people are
i know you have a
leep til' the alarm goes off
ereal for breakfast
ives break out on your arms as you realize how fucked your life is
vict them; you don't want to remember
epressing things like that
ntil the next morning when you'll remember again,
and i know you're scared to leave
of seven billion people
(it took you so long to reach the spot you're at)
and i know you're
because once you leave
but i promise
once you stop waiting
all that you
i walk inside
sort of hoping
you'd look at me
as i'm multitasking-
holding my books, walking, looking at you
this, is my favorite part of the day
one glance at you,
and my day reaches its culmination.
it doesn't get any better after this
one glance at you,
you give me an automatic smile
and you're just sitting there.
my glasses are off.
i cannot see if that's you
but from your walk and the way
you look down at the ground
it's got to be you.
your face is so serious
as i awkwardly attempt a wave
saying hi, but not speaking
i'm caught offguard.
silence takes me to another place
it surely is quiet- as they say
and still thinking
i want to talk to you,
without stuttering, without hesitating
i want to tell you everything
everything i have been thinking
but how can i think when i've lost
my heart's in one state
but my mind's all over the place
i wish you knew
all these feelings that aren't brand new
I Cant kiss you
I might forget something
not because I don't want to
but because you disrupt my routine
Nightly I stand there
waiting for a kiss goodnight
Im ready, Im tired
I want to lay down
But i stand and I wait and i wait
or all I get is frowns
If he forgets anythng, even stumbles on his bed
It is always my fault
not choosing silence instead
part of his routine
he is an asshole
looks very mean
why the fuck am I waiting
whats worth waiting for
when all I do is stand here staring at the floor
i want to help you not be afraid
not in a pushy bossy sort of way, (like the others go about it,)
poking and prodding you
when you're hurt
and saying "that's foolish, don't be afraid of that,
that's a stupid thing to do"
but because you're simply so wonderful that i don't want you to ever have to be afraid
I want to be able to hold you
and whisper softly into your ear that everything's alright
and that you don't have to be scared
and to grin at you
and kiss your hair
and for you to just never have to be afraid of anything that is not here and now, nor anything that ever existed in the past. (if you're ever in danger i'll protect you from it with my life)
not anything ever.
(til i'm with you then, i'm with you there,
sweetly buried in your jet black hair
you're no Johanna
but i'll steal you)
i want to fix you
i want to help you never feel broken ever again (this is my damned hero complex and i know it)
(I have never been very mechanically inventive, but i like fixing broken things, i always have to be the hero, be Alice, but in real life it's not like that and one must put away childish things and notions)
i want to help you overcome this
because what did i ever do in some past life to deserve a chance to love a soul as wondrous as yours
Courtney gets scared and i cannot help her from all the way in america
a long time ago some schoolteacher gave her necrophobia from being so horrible when supposedly teaching them about the holocaust, and now she has issues sometimes with things like nazis and gory television and sometimes she gets dreadfully stressed out thinking about death and i don't really know because she doesn't talk about it much but she got triggered the other day and it was scary and i wanted to be there and hold her but i could not and it was awful
this isn't really poetry, this isn't even trying to be poetry, this is just me being sappy and honestly i have no idea
Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd and its gr9 soundtrack is eternally ruining my life here have some halfassed lyrics to Johanna with some of the words changed because i am not even sorry
also nearly directly quoting Memories from Alice: Madness Returns but pfft oh well
What is loyalty?
Is loyalty when you are in a relationship, and you don't cheat?
Is loyalty and when you do your friend a favor when they need you most, and they are begging for you to help them?
That can't be loyalty.
That won't be loyalty.
No, Loyalty is something bigger.
Loyalty is when you are honest, and trusting, with your peers.
Loyalty is when you do the right thing for the right people
Instead of being selfish
Instead of being evil
Instead of being the kind of person no one would ever want to spend their life with.
Loyalty is when you stay true to your word.
It's when you don't tell a lie
It's when you develop one opinion on something
It's when you stick to your guns, and you don't go out being a liar.
It's when you claim that you are doing one thing, but realize you can do the other anyway.
It's when you don't act on that other way
It's when you instead, stay to what you last promised.
Loyalty is not being the one person who ruins an otherwise good night.
Loyalty is not being the one person who ruins an otherwise good life.
Loyalty is instead, simply, truth.
Truth to one person.
Truth to one person who deserves it.
Truth to all people, they all deserve it.
If you aren't willing to be loyal.
Don't call me.
That look on your face while you overhear conversation, normally you're not to far off with your assumptions of people. But every time you look at me, I know you're dead wrong. Its so obvious, multiple times a day I witness your eyes go wide when I catch you completely off guard. Maybe theres just certain types of people you don't believe in, that you don't know to exist. Sure its amusing to surprise people from time to time, but to constantly feel underestimated? You've got me further than arms length, and thats just fine. But you need to trust someone.
Ive seen eyes like that, full of so much that it looks like you could break at any moment. Countless hours of repressed emotion ready to be released. Just so you can start over collecting it all, bottling it up.
Don't think I haven't noticed the way your ears perk up, and the slight curve of your lips while listening to the chatter around you. To anyone not really watching, you're right there with the crowd, taking part. But with more than a glance I can clearly see the distance between you and them. So unattached. Do you ever really feel welcome?
You shy away from so much. I often wonder if the reason you wont accept anything is out of fear that it will disappear with the day. For someone with so much to offer, to give as little as possible. Most tend to radiate energy, but Ive seen few stay so contained like you do.
So much of yourself is hidden, locked away. I just hope that its not a habit caused by shame. Deny everything all you want, but I'm sticking around until I no longer see that look in your eyes. If I cant get you to trust me, then at least I'll be around so you can at least depend on me if you need to.
I want to be a woman like you.I want someone to say,'wow you look so good today'and to take me away from all this,to kiss me and hold me,to be bold and so sold on me,I want to be,
it's not possible
I know, I only grow as I am and I grow as a man,but I dream of the day when a man holds me the way
I hold you.
Searching every hole and cranny,
Wading deep in the lake of life,
Following every path and byway,
Lingering, always lost inside myself.
Holding life beneath the lamp of sadness,
Examining how each part does not fit,
Piecing parts of the cosmic puzzle so,
Never, ever fitting the circle in the square.
Past lives, family ever, ever spinning,
Knowing how they want to rule me,
Trying daily to create my path of wonder,
Cramming their views deep inside my soul.
Longing for the sweet girl living near,
To ride in on a horse of fiery flames,
Saving my soul and placing it in a box,
So she can determine if I am truly living.
Tasting the rain, so ever dancing free,
Whistling the wind, the cooling motion,
Seeing dark clouds spinning like a top,
Never coming to face my, my own reality.
Noticing in a magic mirror placed before me,
Aging, loosing, this youthful, fleeting force,
Staring at the old man, tired, searching still,
But never discovering the purpose of my life.
She is turning into her nasty habits again
What was once inside her goes down the drain
She never saw what other people saw in her
Why was she so mean to herself?
She didn't want to be broken
But she didn't want to be fixed
She always thought everything was just fine
And nothing was a big deal
Is she blind to whats around her?
Who is this girl?
Could she be me?
Could she be you?
No one will ever know who she is
Because she is a mystery and always will be
I don't want to fall again, so I restrain ..
from all these things that in the past that drove me insane..
It seems history keeps repeating itself, just my luck..
as if I didn't already prepare myself to not give a fuck..