"And though you want this to last forever you know it never will. And the goodbye makes the journey harder still." —Cat Stevens, "Oh Very Young"
goodbyes are before goodbye is said.
they are looming over everything, they
are sucking the joy out of the time
that is left.
it is so hard to remember to forget
the goodbye until it happens,
so hard to remember not to forget
the goodbye once it's over, when
forgetting seems so easy.
in a situation where goodbye is
imminent, we cannot win.
we can't be wallowing in self-pity
or we will waste away the time we've
got left, and all our times will be sad
and what will we have to remember
these days by? the sadness? that
will not do, these days are
marked by something far more
bittersweet than bitter.
but if we push away the sadness,
we will be able to enjoy our time,
and the end will hit harder,
and happy memories are hardest
i am scared of remembering.
i am scared of forgetting.
such is the nature of goodbyes.
[i miss you]
[i love you]
Bitterness eats at me like flesh eating bug chewing at my true self
Those various moments i regret i wish i could take back i must stop the darkness from taking over.
the darkness tells me its ok to do the wrong thing well darknesss go Fuck yourself.
You can be right once in a while but you take it to far excuse my language this dark time stays over my head.
I live a lie in reality i just want her to cut the chain first so i am free and that one Person i once cared for who is treating his son a terrible childhood.
I have my reasons to be this way you see i try to forget by doing so i became the person i didnt want be again. the asshole who is bitter over everything i am trying to get back to normal but its gonna be a uphill battle.
The war ends with everything is normal and no chains attached to my heart.
i don't care about the color of your wallet or
how worn the sole of your shoes are
i just want you to ask me things
with question marks filled with concern
Stating the Obvious
He rarely smiled.
He does not listen to me when I talk.
He thinks I'm being vapid when I tell him about my day,
When I just wanted someone to share it with. Anyone at all.
He does not make time for me,
unless I have money to spend
He insists I'm hurting his feelings.
He's always saying goodbye to me,
And calling me emotional,
When I complain.
He looks me in the eye for ten years,
yet I din't know the color of his eyes
He avoids my gaze.
I flinch at his touch.
He becomes irritated at my questions,
When I just want to know him.
That is all.
It is because,
He likes someone.
Who is not me.
So don't ask me,
Why I don't say hi when I get home.
Why I refuse to answer your questions.
Why I didn't greet you on your birthday.
It is because,
I like someone.
Who is not you.
Inspired by Rlavr's Stating the Obvious
©2013 YJWS. All Rights Reserved.
I don't know what I want
I'm so indecisive
Do I want you or not?
I go from having butterflies in my tummy
To completely shutting down and shutting you out
I have to make up my mind
I know you can't wait forever
But I'm a mess when it comes to things like this
I'm sorry for causing so much stress for the both of us
But my brain is playing this never ending ping pong game
It's like I get what I want then decide I don't need it anymore
I know I'm gonna end up hurting you
So I should just end this now while I can
My only problem though, is that I don't want to
I want the action and cut
the confident strut
making me tut
I want the blinding lights
the disturbed nights
the cat fights
making me right
I want the drunken slur
the lazy chauffeur
making me blur
I want the beauty not the brains
the heartaches and the pain
the work and the strain
making me faint
I don't want the lights
I don't want the fights
I don't want the pain
I don't want to feign
this life that I dream of
that millions desire
I think I'd be better off
staying the little liar
You add another tick to the list
Of times that you have felt worthless
Another scar on your side
To remind you of just how many times life has screwed you over
And the tick count goes up and up
Here is number three hundred and forty five
And you close your eyes and weep
The emotions are spilling out of you
In the form of tears and blood they leave your body
Leaving behind a cold numb emptiness
And you prefer it this way because emptiness beats sadness
And sadness beats lonely
Lonely is how you have felt for the last 16 years of your life
And you count down the days til your seventeenth birthday
Hoping that maybe by then something will change
And maybe your scars will have faded
And your ticks will be gone
Erasing all of the bad experieces that caused them
Each one told a story that is now only whispered in the wind
Stuck in the past
And now you can make memories that you actually want to last
Some say they want to live forever
They say they never want to grow old
They say it would be easier
What they don't know is the pain
The pain of watching
Everyone you love die
Knowing you will never join them
Soon you decide it would be better
To be alone
Loneliness will be all they have left
The longevity if immortality is
No longer inviting is it
Because no one wants to be alone
Never growing old
Never knowing love
That is the price of the wanted
Tell me what is wrong with me
because I do not know
Tell me what you want from me
because I do not know
Tell me what is right with me
because I do not know
Tell me if you still love me
because. . . I do not know
I know you don't read my poetry,
So I don't think you'll ever see
What I write here about you,
And what you mean to me.
I know you don't want to be with me,
And I know that I don't deserve you
After everything I put you through,
And all that we've been through.
We'd fight, we'd argue,
Then I'd break up with you
- Or we'd resolve our issues -
And I'd still love you.
What went down then
Will never happen again.
I got lost in life
And went astray.
But now that I've gotten away,
Away from that, away from frat,
Away from Death and gotten my life back,
I see you're all I want, nothing but that.
But I know from what you say,
And despite how I've grown and how I've changed,
To be everything to you and more
Is a precious chance I'll never have again.