Tonight I feel loney, I need you to hold me
Need to feel the warmth of your lips on the back of my neck
Humming the melodys and rap beats that never leave your head
And the smell of you to fill the air of my bedroom
Laying in bed, eating pizza, watching movies, and making out
I have the best nights when there spent with you
And you tell me I'm lovely, but never say you love me
That I'm the only girl for you
But your out somewhere, God knows where
Stumbling around downtown, causing chaos and drunken brawls
Kissing girls, picking fights, and doing things I'd rather know nothing about
You'll never grow up or leave this god forsaken town
Everyone tells me that deserve so much more, they tell me you'll never treat me right
You're a big dreamer distracted by fleating memories of glory days, a totally fucked up mess
I'm laying here alone and there's nobody else I want, I find your carefree life charming
You piss me off but I kind of like putting up with you and all your bullshit
We never know when our
time is ticking to an end.
I've lost count of my sins.
Whether that day is tomorrow,
next week or in 10 years
i'm ready to be judged for my sins.
Holding his hand as he departed,
he says i'll see you again
and we'll finish what we started.
I've seen my brother
die in front of my eyes.
Tears running down my cheeks as he's placed in a body bag..
The pain he felt i felt in my chest.
i didn't want to see him go to rest.
My heart felt heavy like concrete
but my heart beat was deep yet so empty..
i never thought something
so empty could weigh that much
But we all take part in
situations that we aren't proud of.
never thinking about the consequences
of our actions we live for today
and not tomorrows satisfaction.
I will greet death with open arms
After all aren't we all born to die?
I'm not afraid to die because
knowing that i could reunite
with everyone that I've lost
makes it seem less frightening.
But i do fear the unknown
I'm focusing on trying to be a better person.
Because in the end i know it will all be worth it.
I want to see my brother again
not just in my memories..
Being in Heaven with angels
painful than being in hell
burning with evil demons
i want a voice like the heartbeat of the metra tracks
as it shakes its way into your brain
while you're half awake
'bout something sweet
something that means nothing to me
but it's cute
the way you can't help but smile
i want to be that cringe of excitement in your skull
that you can't stop daydreamin' about
if you could find yourself fascinated by my freckles
and my flaws
and the scars all over from all of the near-fatal gashes
and the heaps and heaps of stardust rusting to my eyelashes
and the fact that i'm always talking about love as if i'd actually had it
i'd never say you were a fool
i could wear you like split ends
or a crooked grin
a handsome pair in inclement weather
somehow better together
not two halves
of one whole
thriving on each other
cigarettes and coffee
whiskey and beer
we're in the clear from here
nothing but salty tides and starry skies
straight on 'till morning
When we're little, we believe the place to go is up, up, and away
We get a little older, and we want to know what's down there
In the deep
The beauties, or the beasts?
One day we'll be adults
Too tired to try and fly
We'll just climb
Working to the best of our abilities for a good reputation
Polishing our shoes, straightening our ties
And one day, it's all gone
You wonder how it all could have happened so fast
Well, at some point, you turned around
And started rolling downhill
Then you realize
The best thing about all this is that the ride down never ends
It's as infinite as space
You see that everything can always be worst
You can always fall a little deeper
Which is why even the ones everyone call "freaks", are beautiful
But this hill has nothing to do with actions
It's why the famed have a spotlight
They're in too deep
Deep in greed they count their cash
Only to waste it on yet another mask
This is why I can't admire the rich
Their power comes from what the masks of deception bring them
They try to drag down those of us free from their evil gravity
But we don't give in
Hell, we win
We don't just barely make it out with bruises and black eyes
We dance away with grace
To the top of the hill
We don't dance to escape the monstrous underworld
We dance to stick it to those that made us believe the surface wasn't beautiful
Help me open my heart.
I know what to wish for
All this time later.
You are cold and clear
And the haze is gone
And I want
To fall into this love
Without fear lurking below me like a safety net of needles.
Please, help me give up that instinct
To turn to stone at the first sign of trouble.
Help me relinquish my misgivings and my doubts
That I clutch like weapons against the calm and joy I feel
In her arms,
Because we both know that if the end is coming
It will come whether or not I see it miles off.
Blind me with light.
Let me see this moment,
Let me see what I have
And not what I could lose.
Help me unzip my skin and lay in the moonlight
Bare and honest
Exposed down to the weakest little corner of my soul.
Help me find the courage to believe the best of this world
With its barbed wire edges,
If I give my heart to these cold stars
And set aside the fear and doubt
If I show you courage
Will you show me comfort?
Its 10 p.m. my time which means it's 11 p.m. yours and I'm sure you're tangled in each other’s mess. And Let me guess, you miss me. Darling don’t miss me. Cause I know in a few years from now you won’t remember my eyes you said you want to stare into. My smile you like so much. My face you want to kiss. My lips you desire to feel. Nothing last forever and me of all people should have carved that into my skull. Carved it behind my own two eyes so when I close them all I can focus on are those three words. Nothing lasts forever. You might someday think so, saying your vows and promising forever, but nothing is. And if you think it's forever till death then that's not the forever that's on my mind. No, the forever on my mind is the forever that never dies. Cause love never dies. Being mortal though, we do die. We do wither into old ages and still believe in the love that is given. Or the love that is deserved. Love is eternal though, and although we are not eternal, we are not forever, we have the sense that love is. So what's that say about us. It says that our thoughts and ideas of love are not what is written in the dictionary so long ago. It's what we believe in our hearts. And that my friends- Is not something I can define for you. It doesn't have boundaries so how can you define something so wild? How can you take a four lettered word and make many other words fit together to describe what we have. You can't. And if one day you find the definition of love let me know. Cause I want to see them too. Yes. Them. Not it. Them is the word used related to people. It is the word used to relate things. Items. And your definition of love will fit every word that you cannot say. Cannot describe. And when you feel love it will feel inviting. And trust me when you smell love it will bring back sensations that haven't been there since your first encounter on the playground. Cause all the best memories happen there. In the complete and utter bliss you can hardly recall, because it was so long. Wish me well also that someday I experience everything you sense when you meet love. Although I hold less luck than you, kiss me goodnight and I'll KNOW that everything is alright.
Frustration Is driving me insane
Sometimes I just want to step in front of a crane but
that would be to easy these days seem so much the same Patience is a virtue yet
I'm frustrated and may hurt you
only to feel bad because the human in me hurts too
My quest for happiness is becoming a trek to find the end of a rainbow
I've lost my light and my path I don't know which way to go.
Seems a lot of people would like to see me fail and
well I've done just that since my boat has set sail
It's a wonder I'm still afloat seems it's not my time to die
I can't even control emotion at random moments I cry
Abused, abandoned, I wouldn't pay my own ransom
I'm damaged, unrepairable, yet somewhat handsome
Life threw me a fastball and I struck out every time
my days consist of nothing No wonder I learned to rhyme
trying to climb my way out of my hole hoping this may be my gold
I haven't accomplished much of anything at 23 years old
Yea I've wrote a bunch of non sense
but to my name I have not one cents
I'm actually in debt for sharing my two cents.
My life is a comedy even I laugh at me
even beat myself up I am my worst enemy.
I write and smoke a lot hoping to ease the stress
as I feel the rope tightening around my neck
The lightning bolts my only hope the reason I log on
if you didn't give me strength no way I could write on...
Thank you to everyone for your support and love
it goes along way.
I stare into your eyes,
the color of the sky on a snowy Minnesotan morning,
I get lost in them.
I want to know you, all of you.
Its a strong feeling.
No more little girl giggles,
yet the same joy inside.
I never realized how broken I was,
until I saw the look in your beautiful eyes,
you wanted to hold me,
I didn't stop you.
I felt as if I was safe from everything when in your embrace,
I never wanted to leave.
Then I felt your lips against my neck,
slightly brushing, trying to test me,
I wasn't going anywhere.
I wanted that moment forever.
You make your jokes.
You play your games.
But I’m on top now
Your words won’t hurt.
I’m the master.
I’m free from you
and the words you say
the way you make me feel
I am myself
Your not creating me
I create myself
into the person I want.
Your not holding me back
I'm going for it.
Watch me. From afar.
Because your not in my life.
It’s my life not yours.
I do not know you,
But I feel you.
The way your words brighten the page
Makes my heart ache.
I want someone to love you back
To be yours
And make the glossy tears in your eyes become those of happiness.
I don't know you outside of poetry
But I know you must be a wonderful person
Feel free to pour your heart into these pages
And know that I'm listening.
I want your memories to light up the dimples on your face
Your broken heart to make you stronger
Because I can feel you,
Your presence in your words.
And so are you.
I don't know you.
But I wish I did.