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I think this life isnt always what you make of it
seems like other people always got something to say
truth is, the people of this world are hella bored so they do what their told, then get lost inside the globe
i see clear as can be, dont let no thing bother me,
got a backpack, guitar, and harmony
speak spit heard only phonically
got words in my head that should keep me a trophy
number one spot i've had it
since the 4th grade
key is never let um know you have it
to some degree, you paint your own reality
i keep my eyes and mouth shut it's a good habit
i speak softly only when spoken to
try and stack cash like the government says im supposed to
i'm fed up with the push of others
those who make make me wake up early yet pretend to be my brothers
i want a house, i deserve it all
painted my own reality to get me far
another dimension is where I'm headed
tv cameras, coo cook clocks, and stanzas
running around like a chicken with my head cut off
they'll call me a celebrity, but never will my label of fell off
got a world of people yet to know me
imma come out to the town and say hello
see i place commas and my dots are honors
every t i cross is worth infinity
my words bring definity
painted my own reality
worked ten thousand times too hard and made a dynasty
its about time to look me up, my musics so good it's impossible to refuse it
i write fine, pen straight to ink what i think while i drink til its complete
i paint my own reality
Your life is just a work of art
A masterpiece painted
By some big brain
With double-folding sentience?
Do you ever consider
The beauty of the detail(s)?
What if that weird coincidence
That happened today
Really wasn't a coincidence at all?
What if there are no coincidences?
What if when we go to sleep
Our brainwaves change
Because our minds go elsewhere
And it's best we just forget
When we wake?
What if reincarnation is real
And just at a universal scale?
What if life didn't originate on Earth?
What if there's something huge about
That we don't yet understand?
What if everything is a computer simulation
And everything above the first dimension
Is just a folded-up illusion?
What if we're not the only ones out there?
What if one time
At some random point
Along your vision's axis
You stared right at a planet
That harbored life?
Or even a star system?
What if religion and science collapsed in
On each other?
And what does this whole Eye business
What if the multiverse
Is more connected
Than we ever imagined?
What if God is a number? (a chuckle)
What if God is all the numbers
And combinations of them
And possible functions
And every algorithm
Every discordance and solution?
What if fate and free will
Don't really hate each other,
And it's just a game they play?
What if, just as we imagine characters,
Scenes and fiction
And paint them with words, sounds, and pigments
Our lives and interactions
Are painted by some society of higher beings,
In some fractalesque twist?
What if perception and emotional value
Are just the icing on the cake
And they are what makes life more
Than numbers and figures?
What if art
Is more than human?
What if the magical spells we once dreamed of
Have become our reality-
Songs, pictures, symbols flashed on the TV...
What if it really is like good guys vs. bad guys
And it's all just whispered above your head
Just within earshot?
What if it's not so black and white
And our only true villain
Is the stupidity of the mob?
What if it's somewhere between
Like it usually is?
What if we were always happy
Or always sad?
Would there really be a difference?
What if you could escape the circular nature
What would you see, looking down?
What if every system is circular
Because they're all gears
In some big surreal machine?
What if you're dreaming?
Nope, still here.
What if you're not dreaming at all
And it's really just that strange?
What if everything that could happen
And you are only allowed to see one of each?
What if the laws of physics
Are only so set in stone
In this universe
But there are others that vary?
What if the speed of light
Is the universal speed of time?
What if I'm actually dead
And this is just a virtual world
And I'm living through a computer?
What if reality is a very complicated computation?
What if I woke up as someone else tomorrow morning?
Would I even realize it?
What if one of my poems caused two people to meet
and fall in love? that'd be cool
What if one of my poems accidentally somehow set off
A chain of events that killed someone? that's weird and sad
What if gravity were as strong as magnetism
Or the other forces?
We'd surely have no planes
And getting up in the morning would suck even more
What if for once you were grateful and happy to wake up in the morning?
Ooh, got you with a tinge of guilt din't I?
What if the whole thing was a joke and no one likes getting up after a nice rest?
What if looks didn't affect judgment so much?
What if this is your very last breath?
If so, look out-
What if my imagination didn't have a bottom?
What if the act of believing in something
Made it true?
What if my red was your blue?
What if you could see tenfold more colors then most humans
Because you had an extra type of cone in your gene code?
What if the very fundamentals of science you were taught in school
Were mass-spread so no one could know how strange the universe really is?
What if the moon landing was fake?
What if conspiracies don't really affect you that much in the end?
What if there was an underlying pattern of questions and statements
Following a free-flowing logical train here?
What if it just crashed?
What if when the light went off on your webcam
That didn't mean it was inactive?
What if you had something to hide?
What if they're out to get you?
What if they're everywhere?
What if it's way over your head
And it's time to get out of the house?
What if Uncle Ben never got shot?
What if Tony Stark is just a friggen' badass genius dude wonder?
What if some levity never hurt anyone, but what if it did?
What if some guy was telling a joke, not paying attention
And he fell and broke his left arm?
I bet it's happened on numerous occasions.
And statistically, probably more if you change it to 'right'!
What if you didn't help that old lady cross the street?
What if the old lady never crossed the street
And she just sat there forever like a lost puppy
Doesn't it just make you want to cry?
What if you were sitting on that thing you're looking for the whole time?
What if your life is a TV show
It's all staged, Truman!
What if I'm not real
And a secret artificial intelligence project
Wrote this to test how convincing it is?
I promise I'm not but you have no way of knowing!
What if some of you start to suspect me of being a robot?
What if in some ironic twist of fate that made someone crazy obsessive about it
And writing it led to my very death?
What if I'm just here for the ride
And I don't have time to worry about things like that?
My eyes are getting heavy...
As much as they tell me
I need to focus.
I need to concentrate...
And leave the la-la-land dreamscape
Of my head,
I'm proud to even
I m a g i n e.
My Ideal Man:
1. Watch nerdy movies with me, you'll get my heart quicker if you love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or superhero movies along with me.
2. Be a Bruins fan please. Or at least a hockey fan, but Bruins is preferable.
3. Be kind. Don't do things just for yourself. If you see someone struggling help them.
4. Be patient. My family and I are nuts, and I'm so sorry about that, but we love with our whole hearts, and you'll never find people who care for you more, or will do anything for you.
5. Tolerate my musical preferences. I listen to quite a wide range of music, so bear with me.
6. When I'm sick, just let me watch a Disney movie, give me space (because when I'm sick I feel far from pretty, and have a tendency to not want to be around people) and I will love you forever.
7. Have faith. You don't have to be ridiculously religious, but believe in heaven and God.
8. Please have a functioning moral compass.
9. Don't question the TV shows I watch. (Ex. Game of Thrones, Project Runway, Friends)
10. Have a good relationship with your parents and siblings.
11. Be a dog lover, I'm going to want dogs when I live with someone (and I'm so sorry we can only get hypoallergenic ones)
12. Accept the fact that I tell my mum almost everything. If I know, likely she will know unless you make it very apparent that you don't want anyone to know.
13. Don't lie. Just don't.
14. Don't cheat. That should be obvious, but I've been through it before and I don't think I could handle it again.
15. Yes I'm a child when it comes to the little things in life. I love ice cream sundaes, coloring, Spongebob, and most adolescent things. Let it be.
16. If you have something bothering you, talk to me. Communication is key and I can't read minds, no matter how hard I try.
17. Be able to laugh at yourself, I do all the time at myself because most of the time I know I'm foolish.
18. Never underestimate snuggling. Unless it's really hot out.
19. Be spontaneous. Lord knows sometimes I do some strange things for no reason, but as long as they bring joy to someone or yourself, then do it.
20. Love with your whole heart.
I miss the feeling of your body
pressed tightly against mine
as I held you in my arms
I miss the smell of your skin
when we would curl up in your bed
and cuddled all night long
I miss the way your head felt
as it rested on my chest
when we would lay on the couch watching TV
I miss being able to sleep
with you by my side
you are so beautiful when you sleep
I miss your smile
and how your eyes would light up
whenever you were happy
But most of all I miss you
and being able to call you mine
(To my Baby Girl)
I could sit before a TV screen
and tell you of places I have seen
or news I didn't want to know
that was on a television show
but what the hell
I could sit beside a wishing well and wish my life away
I could stand before the pyramids and puzzle each and every day what prompted men that when they died would want to hitch a chariot and ride up to the stars.
I could but don't think I will or would instead
I shall think of you and you know who you are
Oh yes you do
and how far is it before the kiss and I told you I don't want to miss the moments that miss those minutes of the night when deep in...
..well you know what I mean
I play out the same scene in my head
on my pillows in the bed
and in my heart.
It will start
you know it too
no good you fighting
the fighting is through
just surrender to my tenderness
undress and let me guess the rest
best I do not say much more
so shut the door
and come to bed.
I want you
whether it'd be in my dreams,
in the music I listen to;
I want the sound of your blood
to be my favorite song.
I want you to be the slight chill
when it rains and the steam
from my sweet, yet bitter tea.
I want you
to want me too.
I want to be the static in your TV,
the lustful glare in your eyes,
the lucid to your dreams.
I want to be the humid in your summer air,
the one that always messed with your hair.
You hated the summer because of it
and I loved your little complaints about it.
You preferred the winter's cold, Coldplay,
and the bitter frostbite that came with it too.
So want me,
like I want you.
I was never taught to be A father
As a child we played sports, army, and competed
so that we didn't get smeered by the queer.
I had a dad and a step dad but I didn't know either one very well.
They taught me to run and hide and hit and beat there problems (me)
I never looked up to anyone I knew a sports figure on the TV
doing what I wanted to do.
No clue or ambition to part knowledge to someone else I would've been ok.
But I met a girl who wanted to play house when it was time I gladly obligated
Myself and made her mine.
And inevitably it came and one day we had something else. Something. More something greater than ourselves combined.
And not knowing what the fuck to do I had a son I had someone to look up to.
Give my life meaning and purpose where I had hid and shadowed away
All that disdain from my child hood days.
I learned how to be father while barely becoming a man and now that Ash has his brother Wesley I don't know why I got so lucky.
Me and the girl may not survive to much adult bullshit can't run away from that or hide.
But as strong as I have had to become I weaken with there resolve and marvel at how they are to become.
They will be great and they will meet someone to love
I will smile because I know I gave that to them even when I felt like I had none.
I am a father, a dad, a man with two sons. I regret nothing that I did to make this path.
Oh ,tyrant king of Babylon
Have you come by any sense
Who wages war on sons of Zion
With inadequate air defense
Toy soldiers of the eagle
Will come as dogs of war
Their guise being benevolence
Their true gift blood and gore
So it seems your problem is oil
Not consummation of lnnocence
Go plant your people in thirsty soil
Then propagandize self defense
For you are the beast of Baghdad
Your very seed affronts Mann and his kind
Another American jackal gone bad
And oh, what a jackal did we find
Now we sit glued to a TV set
Watching the towers crumble and fall
When sleeping with despots ya get what you get
Just part of the cost when america stands tall. Hy
I still recall how late it was,
In the dark other days of July,
After Mom's Birthday,
After all the fireworks,
After the Sparklers and Piccolo Petes
And Thundering Crushers had done their damage -
There was a storm that shuffled
In over Northeastern Nebraska,
That wet the streets
And brought wind and lightning,
And a booming sort of thunder
That whipped up the wind
And dropped golf-ball sized hail.
That sent tree branches
Into power lines,
That shredded house siding,
And tore at the veranda.
Yes, I remember...
But that wasn't how it happened.
Those were such humid, hot, windless days,
Where the minute threat of rain
Egged on that old mid-western fatigue
That moved from my tired, aching feet,
With their tiny hairline fractures that gnawed
And nagged at me with a jutting pain
That hopscotched up my back,
Then bounced off my right hand.
It was a piercing, sharp, angry pain
That made it hard to write,
Sometimes forcing me to do anything but rifle
Through Kitchen drawers
For pain pills,
As Garth Brooks crooned Thunder Road
At 2:38 am...
And me sleepless again.
Still, I'd try to fill in the vacant darkness
Of my night
With silly words
Scribbled on a yellow pad
With a fine point
Bic pen as
The Wind-Machine tossed waves of hot air
In my direction, and I would hear it
With a tap tap tap
The stars could not see.
Sprinkles dusted on
And my body ached,
My head toying with
A lazy throb that
Moved from one side
Of my forehead
To the other,
With my thoughts.
Snapping at me
With a vicious
Sort of glee,
And Shania Twain started singing
A 'honey I'm home' song.
And I heard a boom that rattled
My little part
Of the world.
It wasn't that.
Now it was warm,
And once again humid,
A Friday morning,
Lots of fireflies
And shooting stars
Andrew was working the night shift
Up at the Liquor Store
And said it'd be a busy night again,
After the game let out.
And he wasn't interested
In the Strawberry Cheesecake
I had made.
The black cat from outside
Brought her kittens over
For the first time,
And demanded food.
So they ate a spell.
And I went back inside
And there was a pain,
The kind that takes away
All your strength,
And I had to sit...
Almost didn't make it to the sofa.
My head ached
And the TV set droned a Medium rerun
And Allison was dealing with
Larry Watt again
And I couldn't breathe.
I swallowed and tried to ease
Away the pain
And Allison was wearing blue and white
For some reason
And the phone was ringing
And I was on the floor.
Not sure how I'd fallen,
Not sure what was causing the
Dizziness or the confusion,
Not sure why my head was
Not sure why...
And then I lost it all.
Every green in the trees,
Every blue that painted the skies,
Every kiss, every hello, every maybe and goodbye.
I then faded out, everything shaded to black
And I was gone.
After all the Piccolo Petes and
Sparklers and Snakes
And Streamers had done their
After Mom's Birthday
And Karen's call,
And Aunt Shirley's visit
With her new Taco Bell dog.
Copyright © 2009 Richard D. Remler
"God pours life into death and death into life
without a drop being spilled."
The caricature of a drip.
Defining in it the sum of a short existence. A life.
Wet and alive and pendulously hanging.
I stare up from the caged depths, my eyes eagerly alive
as it drips down in a cascading spiral
less destructively than I have dripped.
A drip to know and to watch like the T.V. (that's never off).
To see the freedom in its fall.
But once dripped, dies alone. Ripped out.
Disconnected from the unsurviving cloud.
Unpoured, it seems, I murmer out loud.
I watch another drip. My reflection watches back, I'm sure.
I wish for it to break, so I can close my eyes
and hold, for a moment, a friend. A life.
And to feel the dependence of the drip's lullaby.
Does nothing more than a drip make sense?
I gasp as they escort my back.
And does it listen when I tell it of my life
before it drips out of me like freedom in fashionable attire?
Redder than the red-lipped mouth of a liar
concerned with "family matters" and saying "sign here".
Lies that drip out of them like foolish wars.
Or the painted affections for a newborn child.
Oh such terribly dreadful dripful lies they are.
Down. Down. Down.
I'll fall down the endless corridor away from them all.
And drip beneath the cementum cracks of the floor.
I'll hide with my drip.
I'll drip with my drip.
I'll sip it a bit. Bitter, but I sleep better, I think as I slip away.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Even after I'm gone.