You are not god, you are not my Lord;
You are a beast that corrupts my soul;
I find peace not, when I pray in thee;
You feast on my soul--you pain and me.
You are a fiend, just like all my friends;
You are tied to an awkward time and space.
And is your soul as sharp as your false prayers?
I can find words that shall hear me better.
You are no safety, nor any assurance;
I hate your speech--within your cold bible;
You are not worthy of love, nor any true spirit;
You are a mere space no sane souls can ever meet.
I used to know, in Heaven, another Lord;
But my faith was marred, it was distorted.
This Lord of mine was kind and simple;
His heart was All-Resilient and Humble.
My Lord was gone in one sway of smoke;
As none wanted to hear more from me.
I was strong in faith--and t'is was no joke;
But none would look, and pushed Him fast away.
Ah, my Lord, in whom I used to hear salvation;
And not grief like this which burns my heart.
I found within me--a great deal of admiration;
But none would believe, and He was made gone.
I knew another, in more mature years;
But He was as crude as a grizzly bear.
With His soulless heart, he tore my faith up;
'Till my heart withered, and nothing remained.
He preached but the beauty of wealth;
And to forge maturity on this dire soil;
He turned one another an enemy;
He played with fate, as if ‘twas His doll.
I was in deep grief, I was in bare crises;
I believed not the sun sets and the moon rises.
Ah, Lord, and after I lost thee even more;
I roamed sightlessly like none before.
And now I’th been forced back to thee;
Art thou still hungry, or art thou satisfied?
Haven’t thou sent me enough agony;
When shall thou finally give up?
Now I hath been cramped back to thee;
Art thou still angry--doth thou want to kill me?
Thou explaineth never--why I taketh my breath;
Thou reasoneth never--what is in life after death.
For I believe triumphs are not for those who sin;
For I believe prayers are not done by the mean.
For I believe in life there is no such scarcity;
For I believe we are united by wordless destiny.
For I believe He is One; and is loved freely;
For I believe He loves back, with relentless mercy;
For I believe He is the One, and owneth no partner;
For I believe He is who rules, and not another.
For I believe none was made crucified;
For I believe He is alive, and shall never die;
For I believe such stories are all but a lie;
For He is who gives, and breathes sight to the eye.
For I believe the cross is no glory;
For I believe such is a vain myth;
For I believe He is absolute;
For I believe He is the only Truth.
And about this I can lie no more;
Nor stand back as I did before.
He is who holds my mortal hands;
He who cares better than my friends.
Still I am lost, I am lost in thee;
For thou hath betrayed my most questions.
For thou hath no words--nor poetry in me;
For thou ignore--and neglect me in disambiguation.
And I hate thee, I hate thee too much;
Thou hath blinded me and led me astray.
Thou giveth room but to desire and lust;
Thou lead my soul to ultimate decay.
Thou regard not shyness and virginity;
Thou accept not humble words and pure sympathy.
Thou encourage day and night ecstasy;
Thou disfigure us by mock forgiveness.
Thou told us to be unjust and sin;
Thou told us to pursue and be mean;
Thou loveth pleasure, and left me unsure;
Thou gave me disease, but showed me no cure.
Now I’th realised that my God is Him;
He who attends my day and night dreams.
I care not what thy devils may say;
I shall care for Him only--all through the night and day.
For the Lord who leads and forgives;
For the Lord who dies not and shall live;
For the Lord whose Throne is up high;
Veiled perfectly by the blue midnight sky.
For the Lord who creates life and death;
For the Lord who gives mouths and breath.
For the Lord who is One and only;
For the Lord who is sole and fair.
Then I can pray with my whole sane heart;
And rest my minds from this lifelong war;
My Lord is One who lets my blood flow;
Years back, presently, the day after tomorrow.
And by Him I shall remain prudent;
Though He is far and farther and invisible.
I shall long for His Paradise and Heaven;
One for the kind hearts; for the devoted and humble.
Then I shall craft even more poetry;
A poem for my Lord’s tremendous delights;
I shall make it warm and lively;
And tell tales of future years in Paradise.
And I shall turn back to Your prayers, God;
After years and years of fraying Thee alone.
Now I shall come back to my untainted faith;
Please hesitate not, nor make me need to wait.
For in You only doth I find my doors;
And answers to my once lonely heart;
I cannot lie back, I cannot lie no more;
That I and Thee can never stay apart.
And my faith will be like those stern winds;
They can be felt, while remain unseen;
Wish me a welcome, and not a farewell;
Keep me safe from Thy spells of hell.
And let me remain in my bows;
As I shout my praise, as my head goes low.
And let me remain where I am;
To cite Thy praise, say Thy Holy Name.
Where it at?
Where is that emotion that gives you substance?
Where it at?
As we journey through this unpredictable world in search for it.
We find sometimes it's simply impossible to locate it.
We find we're simply on a love's quest seeking answers.
On a matter that has serious matters.
Because like Ecclesiastes, states everything has its time.
A time of war.
A time of peace.
A time of hate.
A time to love.
We must seek our own happiness that's pleasing to us.
What's love existence requires is for us to love?
And upon this love's quest I'm determine to be yours.
Jesus has his mission.
Columbus has his.
And they both conquer them without seeking attention.
Love seek out those in need.
For our wants are used as a tool.
We been told within our life time.
Whatever you ask for?
Will eventually come.
Even if you're a traveler just passing by.
I spilled my salad dressing today and it made me think about how you didn't get mad when I dropped your favorite plate as it shattered in a million pieces on the granite tiles, even though I thought you would hit me until my face was the color of pansies and stop signs. I flipped my book open to the page number 273 and it made me remember the time you would always laugh when I got too excited about guessing the right page number you turned to. I thought you would think I was a fool for becoming so giddy over something so stupid, but you told me that you thought I had the cutest laugh and you would like to hear it on repeat on a old vinyl record or something. Today I saw the light die out of someone's eyes and I swear, in that second I recognized the disappointment that fell upon their eyes as your own, the look that came over you when you saw the three cuts horizontally placed on my upper thigh. A look that said "She's too damaged, I can't keep trying to save her, this is pointless."
Nothing So Sensuous
Last night, I went back in time and met Alice Liddell in 1862.
Alice Pleasance Liddell, known for most of her adult life by her married name, Alice Hargreaves, inspired the children's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, whose protagonist Alice is said to be named after her.
nothing so sensuous
as to watch a woman,
nay, a woman child,
brush her hair in the mirror.
more than sensual,
all my senses
luxuriating in a gift that cannot be
her head titled, then thrown
from her chest as far back
and your eyes see waves
of chestnut in
and the smile on her face
for the knowing that she has
in capturing all of you.
mesmerizer, she languidly strokes
her hair, though it needs it not.
no, she brushes you to your
your eyes, see her eyes,
in the mirror,
the woman's sensuality
every sense alerted,
you body fired, beyond
she has you,
and then she asks...
would you brush my hair?
have you ever been in love?
have you ever had to tell someone
you no longer loved them
though you still did?
Oh yes, Oh may I?
yes, with you totally, at this very instant.
yes, for I must leave you and return to
my time, my age,
150 years from now
the only way I can do that
is to lie to myself,
for the agony of this
is such ecstasy,
that I can only dare
write of it in my time
lest I fulfill it in ours.
Use your time wisely or you just may regret
Read a nice book about a true story of a pet
Write family stories to pass on down
Those stories would never make you frown
Trace some of your family tree
You just might find a celebrity
All Rights Reserved
No one considers Jack:
Faithful and reliable,
Always there when you need a laugh.
The well worn crank beckons,
But poor Jack's old and rusted spring.
What's it like for him to
Pop! and Pop! and Pop!
Time and time again?
Then when his job is done
He's tossed in a corner
And forgotten about,
Untill the storm clouds gather once more.
What about Jack?
Who's there for Jack when he's down,
Or feeling blue,
Wanting to just give up,
When will Jack get his turn,
Or is he to spend forever
Trapped in the confines of his little box?
there was a kangaroo he just loved to hop
he would hop for miles and never want to stop
one day when he was hopping happy on his way
he saw his friend the wombat and decided they would play
they played along together having lots of fun
then they had a race and kangaroo he won
they played along for hours and passed the time of day
then they said goodbye and both went there seperate ways
my body hasn't forgotten
the lost season of single sun
scattered on barren streets
where we found oblivion.
the smell of a yellow book
marked with your soft hand
on time being a concept
flowing away too slowly.
i could walk again here
and reach for a piece of sky
but i see no way back
when touch is only a dream.
Take heed and watch closely. You'll see these to be true.
If you don't know, now you know.
“We Shall: 1) Seduce and demoralize the youth with false doctrines. 2) Destroy the family life. 3) Dominate humanity by Preying upon their lower instincts and vices. 4) Debase and vulgarize Art, and introduce filth in Literature. 5) Destroy respect for religions; undermine the reputation of the clergy through scandalous stories and back up the so called "Higher Criticism" so that the old fundamental faith is shattered and quarrels and controversies become permanent in the churches. 6) Introduce the habit for luxuries, crazy fashions and spend thrift ideas so that the ality for enjoying clean and plain pleasures is lost. 7) Divert the attention of the people by public amusements, sports, games, prize contests, etc., so that there is no time for thinking. 8) Confuse and bewilder the minds of the people by false theories and shatter the nerves and health by continuously introducing new poisons. 9) Instigate class hatred and class war among the different classes of people. 10) Dispossess the old Aristocracy, which still keeps up high traditions by excessive taxes and replace it with the "Knights of the Golden Calf." 11) Poison the relations between the employees and employers through strikes and lockouts so as to ruin the possibility of productive co-operation. 12) Demoralize by all means the higher classes of society and by adverse publicity raise the hate of the people toward them. 13) Use industry to ruin agriculture and then in its turn destroy industry by wild speculation. 14) Spread all possible utopian theories so as to bring the people into a labyrinth of impractical ideas. 15) Raise the rate of wages, which however will not bring any advantage to the workers for at the same time we shall produce a rise in the price of the first necessities of life. 16) Cause diplomatic friction and misunderstanding between States which will increase international suspicions and hate thereby greatly augmenting armaments. 17) Introduce in all states, general suffrage so that the destiny of nations depend upon ignorant people. 18) Overthrow all monarchies and substitute republics for them; in so far as possible fill important state offices with persons who are involved in some unlawful affair and who will, from fear of being exposed, remain our obedient servants. 19) Gradually amend all constitutions so as to prepare the soil for absolute despotism and Bolshevism. 20) Establish huge monopolies upon which even the great fortunes of the Gentiles will depend to such an extent that they will be swallowed up at the "hour" when the industrial crisis will start. 21) Destroy all financial stability; increase economic depressions to the extent of bringing a general world bankruptcy; stop the wheels of industry; make bonds, stocks and paper money worthless; accumulate all the gold of the world in the hands of a certain few people thus withdrawing tremendous capital from circulation; at a given hour close all the exchanges, withdraw all credits and cause general panic. 22) Prepare the death struggle of the nations; wear out humanity through suffering, fear and shortage of food - hunger creates slaves!”
"To each his sufferings: all are men,
Condemned alike to groan;
The tender for another's pain,
The unfeeling for his own.
Yet ah! why should they know their fate?
Since sorrow never comes too late,
And happiness too swiftly flies.
Thought would destroy their paradise.
No more; where ignorance is bliss,
'Tis folly to be wise."
("Are you the moon queen?" he asked me,
And I told him that I was)
I’m the queen of the sky when the night rolls around
And the sun lets me be myself
I look out on the universe,
A darkness so deep
And take a deep breath in
I inhale the stars, worlds and galaxies,
All the little trees I see,
The oceans twinkling grandly
My time to shine is nearing
The suspense is surly building,
Rising over peaks and valleys
The spotlight is me,
I hold myself so pretty
The grandest moments are the best,
My power is tremendous