Dear Mom and Dad,
We couldn't stop this,
This moment from coming.
I'm sorry for not being perfect,
I was annoying and rebellious.
You never panicked,
No matter how often I was ridiculous.
You put up with it,
Because you knew my clock was ticking.
The hourglass was almost up,
I was trying to experience
Every normal, wild, teenage struggle
If I've learnt anything,
It's that crying is good
don't hold back.
Let those tears stream,
Cry a waterfall,
Make sure to move on.
You were the best thing
That ever happened to me.
You taught me to be myself
But most of all, to be free.
You taught me to never be afraid,
Or let my presence fade.
I will forever be
In the splish-splash of the
Lapping waves against the rocks.
I will forever be
In the flowers outside my house,
The grassy green of the garden,
Dancing in the breeze.
My sweet Sammy.
You're too young to experience loss,
But it will only make you stronger,
Life will always be chaos,
Don't ever let your spirit falter.
You're my sister,
That'll never change.
No matter how much this life gets tougher,
Nor how strange.
Don't be sad because I'm gone.
Be happy because I was here.
You don't scare me.
I have done all I can,
To understand this life.
I have come to the conclusion
That this life is about
Being kind and being adventurous.
It's about being fearless
And being true to yourself.
And so here I stand before you,
In all my mortality.
I know now what is true,
I was never truly free.
Time is a fleeting idea,
A lie that we have control.
We will all leave this world one day,
I just pray that we won't have wasted our time.
So take me with you and let me be,
Bring me to the otherside, I want to see.
one of my favorite places in the world
is a beach made entirely of glass
each little piece of color was once a broken story
sharp and jagged, it could cut open veins with ease
but the sea was patient with the shards
spent time polishing and softening their edges
until their true beauty was revealed
(you are the waves
I am the glass
you make me beautiful)
i looked in the mirror
this way and that
and tried to bend my eyesight
fracture the light that sent this image
speeding toward my mind
just in time
to trip me up, as i catch a glimpse
of myself in a window
sidewalk coming up to meet me
as i fall forward into my own flaws
i closed my eyes
and it was dark within the confines
of my webbed, ebbing thoughts
sticky with contempt for the days gone by
spent before this mirror
and i tried to imagine myself
flayed, clean and sparkling
naked, proud and walking tall
but all i saw
was an invisible girl
behind a strong shield
coat of arms held up, symbols falsely proud
a hammer, for stupid, useless strength
a blazing sun, for the heat of my unsaid words
a pen, for the silence of my honesty
a heart, for the things i have yet to find
and in the middle, emblazoned
bright white and gleaming
for the shield itself
i looked in the mirror
right, left, dead centre
tried to meet my own eyes
and saw only the mask
There's a disconnect,
Between you, me, us.
When I reflect
On our relationships, all I see is dust.
We are not broken.
We travel the world
In little orbs,
Caught up and whirled.
We are not broken.
You, me, us.
Our past is in the rearview.
All we can do is entrust
Ourselves with emotions long overdue.
1) you know you left your favorite pair of underwear at my house, do you want to come and get them?
2) I miss you more than I miss my home
3) you're like a part of me that left and I really want that part of me back
4) you use to call me beautiful, I looked at myself In the mirror and I cried because it wasn't your voice saying "you're beautiful"
5) I miss your voice running through my skin
6) remember all those times you would call me and tell me you miss me? How come you don't do that anymore?
7) I hugged this tall boy that reminded me of how you would slouch to hug me and I smiled so widely I was as happy as how I was when I was with you
8) the boy next to me smells like you
9) my brother came home and your name slipped out of his mouth or it sure seemed like
10) I miss you.
11) I saw you staring at me and when I went to smile you turned away
12) it got me sad like how when you told me you didn't like me
13) remember that time you kissed me? And you said you hope it doesn't change anything? You lied
14) it's been almost 4 months and my lips still ache your touch
15) I wish you were here
16) we were never in love but oh boy, how we could have been in
Stepping oot into the air,
and it burns your lungs so you question your dare,
in particular there is no where,
that is pushing you oot there,
but a when,
the dark street adds and takes away,
as film reels play blue memories from brighter days,
were they really that great?
because you were still walking late,
when it was still cold,
but the reels dont stop,
and the nostalgia makes you check the clock,
to make sure your still in the right tight time
turn off the films, put 'em back in the corner of your mind
where they always reside,
and just go back inside.
And all hell breaks loose in my house
The day I move out
I'm not coming back
I've sucked it in for a long time
But there's only so much a person can take
But I've reached my breaking point
When I leave this house I'm leaving it for good
Only talking to the people I can stand
Tired of most of y'all anyways
Always beating me down
I'm not good enough for ya'll
Sucks to be me right
At least you have one perfect child
I'm going to pull a you on you
Just like you did to my grandma
Beyond angry but now it's time to think
And collect my thoughts
I refuse to go to bed angry
So I won't
above the clouds
The crickets chirp
And the rodents run
The time of day
Were the freaks come out
And the letter z runs wild
Were women find men
And were men find women
All looking for the same thing
But yet for totally different reasons
Were the galaxy's unite
And the rabbits sleep
Were the cats are away
And the dog has no day
And I am left alone
Wishing that other colder body
Was next to mine
I came home again,
hoping the thoughts and ties which I had with you were now gone
it has been so long, anyways.
I drove past all the places which we used to go
looking so stoic and almost menacing
as if they were mocking me with what I no longer had.
The time I spent away from this place
only made the memories grow dimmer,
and I hoped I'd never have to visit them myself.
Because when I'm here,
everything seems so much closer
I could just reach out and take your hand
if you'd only allow me to.
Time and distance have been so cruel to me,
the time always being in my favor,
but the distance never the same.
I wonder when I can come home without you chiseling your way through my skull
and into my mind.
I took a long drive alone,
and wondered what it would be like with you in the seat next to me
that familiar face
was always so comforting
but it doesn't matter anymore.
I'll do well on my own for a couple days,
maybe even a week,
before I fall back into the same pattern of missing you
and not missing you.
They forgot to tell me that the loneliness after you left
would always be worse than the loneliness before we met.
I wonder how many times I'll say hello to these strange people I am said to know. I can see the look on their faces and the false happiness that they all show. Why can't they be real why must they lie? I'm sick of being played by time! I want them to be straight up, I want them to know that I can see their problems they always show. I just want them to be real to stop the lying and hate. Why can't they just say these things to my face! Mabey I could help them or at least understand why. But no these idiots think its smarter to hide. To keep the demons that eat at their pride. I'll tell you this I want you to know that if I have a problem I won't be apart of your emotionless show. I'll open up express my thoughts. To many times have I welled up my thoughts, but now I'm boiled over to the brim. I've taken so much and held it all in. But not again I can't hold it in, I've been filled to the brim. I'm sorry but not again, I can't do it this is the end.