I don't want you to truly miss me
But sometimes I hope you think to yourself
"I wonder how she'd doing."
And click on that old page in the internet
that's never used anymore.
Or maybe even flip through some pictures.
I guess I really just hope
you haven't forgotten me completely.
At least remember the good times.
[Because I have not forgotten you.]
why do we play along in the demise of others? is it because we think we're helping the people we love? or do we have ulterior motives? because I think that is the answer more often than not. and whether we allow ourselves to believe it or not, those ulterior motives control us more than we can ever imagine.
I'm excited for you
At the same time I'm not.
I'm scared of loosing my best friend,
I'm scared of you leaving me.
I want you to be happy in college.
When and if you go
A piece of me will go with you.
You'll always be my best friend,
Maybe even something more
But we'll never know.
I'm staying here
And you're not.
You don't want to
But we want you to.
You could do such great things here,
But you don't want to stay.
I do t care what other people say
Or what they think;
You are who you are
And that is amazing.
I've know you all my life.
This year we got really close
And I loved every second of it.
When you told me you got accepted
I was secretly hoping that you wouldn't go.
I want you to be happy,
But I don't want to loose you.
You made my senior year so much better
And I can't think of you not being here.
I don't know what I want to do in college
You do, and I don't want to keep your from that.
I'm too scared to tell you all of this,
I really don't know what you'll say if you see this.
I don't want you to see this.
I broke down once in front of you,
And I don't want to do it again.
You are my best friend.
You'll always be my best friend,
Maybe even something more
But we'll never know.
Leaf.
Golden and green, then brown and falls apart.
Is Death really so bad?
It creates for such beauty.
It Spins the Wheel.
A skull with horns.
To some, unfathomable...
to see, a sense of aesthetic so profound as it sits there on the mantle before a snow filled fireplace.
I crumble the leaf...
...steals away my pride.
I remember one day I will crumble,
fall away,
and die.
It is not such a horrible thing.
For, I am excited to see what lies beyond the Blackened Gates of the Earth.
And when my candle snuffs out in 120 or more years from now, it will be with an angel-light, glowing white, in my heart.
Without Death, there would be no Creation...no Birth.
Think about it.
Feel it.
Meditate upon it.
Like an Aghori, who sits upon a human grave, holds a human skull, and dusts himself in cremated remains...
Embrace it.
Bathe in the metaphoric blood of ancestral light.
Roll in the soil.
Taste the bliss of release.
For then, and only then...
can you walk through the Valley of Life...
Removed entirely...
...
...from Fear.
I adore women
I refuse to apologize for it
I like the way their voices squeak in the upper registries
I like the fashions
I like the makeup
I like the aromas
Not the silly runway catwalk biz that reduces them to awkward mannequins
adorns them in the impractical
and cloaks them in the absurd overreaching of the tired clamoring for something
new and unique
that which exploits their lithesome anorexic perplexing job requirement
I like the way they can shape shift, alter and assume new identities
I like the fact that some have mood swings and PMS
I marvel that they can give birth
I like being aware that their "water-weight" make's them grumpy
I'm astonished that they innately ovulate with the cycles of the moon
and that the Huntress Diana inherently acquired her namesake
Doesn't bother me a bit that "it's a lady's prerogative to be late"
or that opening a door for them is considered 'sexist'
I was raised with a sister and a mother
with lace and dainty frilly things
I caused them a lot of aggravation and consternation
I think they enjoyed it - nonetheless
somewhat
I refuse to apologize for it
Focus on the peaceful things, the things which make you smile
The calming waves or golden plains, think about them for a while
Go away, far way, so far into your happy place
And dance along with the whistle of the breeze and float away with gentle grace
But...
If all else fails come with me
And I will give you therapy
We'll raze the roof
Hit the town
Smash bottles beneath our feet
Because sometimes the best therapy calls
For a pinch of laughs and a tablespoon of chaos
Let loose your rage unto the world
Bottled up beneath your skin
It boils
And make the world pay and laugh all the way
Laugh away smiling
All the while
i.
fractured moonlight spills across the silent lake
(like a glass of wine from a goblet made of
stars and the infidelity of millions of lovers.)
black and silver, gold and blood.
they will come for me soon.
they will come for all of us soon.
ii.
i was never a pretty face, more just a
pretty pen.
iii.
i think tonight i'll run up stand up
(face all my fears)
tonight i will learn you didn't love before and
ignore my wanton tears.
and i was better off alone with my sadness and tea
rather than in your arms with my dreams of
your infidelity.
iv.
the crystalised chandelier and my broken promises
as i sink like a stone in the sea.
oh my baby, my sweetheart, my dear,
i'm so sorry.
for you wished for love
and ended up with me.
i.
tonight, i think i'll just watch as my world
falls to the ground.
ii.
a plastic band. a hope for observation.
they watch, they watch, oh, gods be good.
(just another one with daddy issues and
a slight stab in the dark at her own wrists.)
i was never much one for sanity, especially
when this is just another fever dream.
iii.
you play kiss and tell with saint peter and i
watch from mount olympus in shame. a goddess
is hardly the right word, but i am hardly the right girl.
iv.
doesn't every father hit his children? and other
cautionary tales from earth's own devil.
(desecrated be thy goddamn name.)
v.
we're only pure in our idiosyncracies, only perfect
when we're told how to exist.
and though this heart is totally broken,
it could be all yours.
(i could be all yours.)
i.
i think i'll light up another cigarette and watch
as this city burns before my tired eyes.
the disease of society spreads through my bones and
i become another cog in the machine.
ii.
tonight, i will stumble into our single-sided
double bed, the alcohol tearing into my head
and wish for a boquet of roses as the shreds
of tomorrow ravage my flea-bitten mind.
iii.
dawn breaks only for the worthy.
iv.
drama queen. mise en scene.
welcome to your very last dream.
take the ashes from this dust
and learn to give yourself away.
v.
my lips taste of poison. hell, i am
exactly that-poison. there is no beauty
left in these weary bones.
vi.
i have become absolutely nothing.
I told a man that I did not know much about Pride & Prejudice
mostly because I had none,
he laughed and gave me packet of Earl Grey tea.
I wish all men did this,
all women too. I think there should be more free herbs
that you can add honey or sugar too,
I think that would make everyone’s day better and sweeter.
