the sky was out of place in this night sky.. it was as if this night was not real.. but it was.. there was a feeling of leaving always.. as if the night was saying goodbye to me every second i was in it.. it was quite enchanting being here.. things were not in their right place.. pictures on the walls were alive.. even the luster of the stars in the sky spoke of flase beautiful magic.. almost as if a child drew them upon the shadowy blanket dark sky..
A lone cloud passes by and takes me with it.. for a moment i am above this night.. i see my old street where i grew up.. i see my brother pulling me in our red wagon.. fireflies gather around us.. the baby pine trees begin to dance in the wind.. the night starts to feel fresh again.. the air taste so good..
i am back to my first home.. i go inside my first room.. and go straight to my old toy box.. the wonders i see.. all of my old toys light up my memories.. the room grows dark and my old night light glows upon me.. once i was afraid of the shadows there.. now i see them and become one with them.. shadows of the soul.. I awake from a dream of my past.. I see clear my memory shell and how it pieces together..
i’ve been trying
to sleep away
every bad thought
every ill omen
every second of my futile existence
but i sleep
a dreamless sleep
in the box is moldy
and i wonder if i’m hungry enough to
scrape it off
each day i wake up
and eat the
so you don’t have to worry about
i have the sun in my belly
it casts shadows on my bones
when i was
a kid i used
to suck on pennies ‘cause
i could get some good luck from it
i remember running
in the grass bleached
evergreen by the summer
and i let
the sun out of my belly
so everybody else could
and now i sulk with the moon
and i don’t care
i don’t care about anything
so when luna says i
should get out more
i say “fuck you.”
some things in life
are pointless and
i am some of them
I'm going to stay awake
Until the sun breaks
Through the trees, and
My darkness crumbles around me.
Because at least then I know
I can still see beautiful things
The world is Gray,
A slate wiped clean.
One day, I wandered
from pane to pane,
glancing out windows,
dreading Gray, the bête noire,
now it's come,
now it shall stay,
let me explain tomorrow's day.
A light erased the colors I knew;
came from dawn, swept on through,
break by break, it grew and grew,
morning fell, the horrors new,
my world of Gray appeared.
So now I wait for your return;
you took it all,
where've you been?
you took it all, all for your own,
and now I reap what's never sown.
The children sleep,
they do not know:
the things they seek
will never grow;
The children sleep,
they'll never see
what was a color means,
what it could be;
The children sleep,
they cannot know
how dawn has stolen what we know.
Drizzle, drizzle, rain outside,
you stole my heart and now you've died,
you stole the rain, yet now it pours,
I'm blocked by windows, hidden doors,
the day is darker, starker, gone,
the Gray has come, the game is on.
Flickering candles shall know no light,
the Gray-ness will take over night;
Ice will fall, winter's here,
Still, the Gray is crystal clear.
Cool, uncaring, blood seeps from the sky,
or maybe not,
Who knows, when all the world is Gray with fear?
The children sleep soundlessly,
forever marked in harmony.
The children sleep a dreadful sleep,
they will not wake,
Oh! the dreadful steps we take?
The children sleep a dying sleep,
the Gray has taken them.
The Gray has come, my dear,
are you now, too, drawing near?
Will you stay for one last dance?
Help me from this horrid trance.
Will you help me shake my fear
that only appears when Gray is near?
the children sleep,
the rain, it falls;
Shh! The Gray, it listens.
Time's up, I'm afraid,
the Gray is here,
so very near,
it scorches with it's burning sneer,
Tick tock, tick tock,
time's up, my dear.
And as you- can very well see,
the Gray has taken over me,
and there upon an evening clear,
at thirteen o'clock, the time that's feared,
the Blackness began drawing near.
You're my umbrella
Constantly protecting me
From rain and wind
And other things of the sort
I know for a fact
That I always appreciate you
Whether or not
I always tell you
Last week I noticed
That while I was struggling to stay dry
You were struggling
To stay together
I hadn't realized
That while keeping me safe
You were in constant pain
And close to being torn apart
No friends, no family
I never had both,
An invisible substance consumed I choke.
How can something so overrated be poisonous to the veins?,
deceiving to the brain,
unlocking evil to withstand.
No caring about anything
nothing at all,
Too much of bullshit
wounds are pierced so I fall.
Are they trials & tribulations?
no not so,
too many levels to pass
too much weakens my soul.
Cheat codes I wish there was easy ways out,
from this dry rain 18 years dying in droughts.
No trees just sand, no sand just cracks,
no plans just rules and laws to act.
Thats why some tell you to think twice before you settle down,
either you wither or agree to be bound.
So much things of sorrow tattooed apon my chest,
thats why its called "Love Crossed Out with a Bold X"
Less like, Peace the fuck out,
more like, I gotta go.
I'm leaving the way ships are wooed by waves,
under the pretense of more promising continents.
I can see where countless hands have pulled at my shoelaces,
wrapped my arches in ribbons of origami,
left me second guessing how well holes burn through soles.
It's been a long day of finding breathing space between double-knots and bending
broken fingernails back into place;
the self-constrained chaotic embrace of something supposedly so
straight as string brings forth beckoning ghosts of
those figure-eight souls who laid themselves
to waste their Sundays tracing the Hills
on the breath fogged side of some painted-shut window sill;
trading the promise of Infinity
for the Religion of Monotony.
Praying through agoraphobic day-dreams
raining across the night sky of their eye lids
with the brilliance of meteorites,
imagining how earth-shattering they could be
if only these tyrannosauruses would just look up.
I have come here;
Less like, conquest
more like, exploration.
--Abandoned the comfort of quaint, suburban
ruins of the American Dream, which buckled
like widows knees mid frail-voiced eulogy
mourning the death of their Salesman--
and wandered aimlessly into the improvisation of some story-book jungle,
wishing I was better rehearsed.
I have come here
to congregate with the snakes and beasts; to feast beneath
the din of carnal sin and primal instincts. I've chosen to begin jumping
from stump-to-stump like stepping headstones
in a graveyard of fallen trees, where men,
who grew up too quickly and forgot the importance of fictional stories,
who learned early on how to black-market trade
the need to imagine for something a little bit more
who, smiling through serrated teeth,
saw it fit to clear this wilderness for something a little bit more
But thank god, these brambles grow so thick!
For every hail Mary their metal tongues would lick
into the trees' skin, a hallelujah of vines and branches and roots
would erupt in confused medley,
and their finest mathematics couldn't begin to calculate
the thriving division of a place so ungoverned by logic.
In a jungle plucked straight from storybook pages
I'll band together with these untamed brutes
--these feral barbarians and unbroken monstrosities--
to howl at the moon with the effervescence of a Ginsberg poem.
We'll forge a tinsel-town crown and take turns
playing king of Where the Wild Things Are found.
See, unlike concrete cities
The Wild of Atavism has never forgotten that
Tradition is a catalyst for change
and that nothing is permanent.
Hell, I've been having laughing contests with a mountain
because every now-and-again he will crack
A smile, and when a mountain laughs
He does so, so gutturally,
From deep within his catacomb chest that
the whole Earth quakes -- everything shifts--
And I'm not gonna lie to you right now,
I've sort of got my heart set on being a part of something so
So if you follow,
shipwrecked and mapless,
your shoelaces strapped tight
and run off the infinity of double knots.
If you go looking for me, continue
past the paint chips, through
the open window;
Set your sights to the far treelines.
And don't strain yourself listening for
the laughter of mountains,
Because when that stoic disposition
Finally does crack, you'll feel it in your feet
no matter where you are.
And from the way his ridges are crumbling,
I think I've almost got him beat.
© Christopher Voss
Its nearly 2:30 am
And once again, I dreampt of you
They will always possess me
And I can feel your voice
Giving me chills, flooding me,
And piercing through my black soul,
Full of sorrow and full of despair.
By this, you create a feeling of ecstacy
Swimming through my veins
And shattering my bones
This is why I awake at nearly 2:30 am
Simply just to write songs about you
Simply just to get you off my mind.
Let me takeover your every breath.
Flooding into your lungs,
You are now mine.
Surely until I fade away
Into thin air
And leave nothing but ashes
On the ground.
Spill out everything you're filled with;
Who knows whether your glass is half empty
Or half full
Now its on the ground
And that's okay,
Because I'm on my hands and knees
Cleaning it all up.
You remind me of stain glass windows in a church;
Some see your beauty, on the inside and out,
But they only notice when the sun gleams through your colors and cracks,
Showing off such vivid and lovely colors.
They don't see your beauty. The can't fathom it.
They're the ones who throw rocks at you,
Leaving you shattered into
A million pieces
On the floor,
Not able to be loved,
Not able to be appreciated.
But, while you're that shattered mess
On the floor,
Let it be known
That I am the one
On my knees
With my fingers cut and bleeding
Picking up every shattered or broken
Piece of you
And I will mend you back together
I will make you feel whole
I will make you feel special
Because you are.
Look me in the eyes;
I'm not sure whether they remind me
Of the sound of the rippling waves in the salty ocean on a hot summer day
Or the smell of the smoking flames of a bonfire on a warm july night
They set my soul at ease.
Things are impermanent.
We all know this too well.
Roaring fires turn to embers
Embers turn to ashes
That soon blow away into thin air.
This is why our love is not like fire.
Our love cannot be described.
"Nothing lasts forever"
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
We are curled up on that old maroon couch
It’s ratty and old but it’s always been our spot,
Even when we were small it was
We’ve been talking for hours but it feels like minutes
Your teaching me about your car and I give you advice
We are so happy like this.
Yet in the back of my mind I feel the time slipping away
But you look at the clock and you ask me to stay just a little longer
But my dad said to be home by nine.
I start to feel nervous and your hands gently shake
We have so much to say but we never have enough time
Our words run together just so we can feel closer for these last few minutes
My chest begins to feel tight with the words I don’t have the strength to say out loud
And in a spare moment of silence my words
I love you.
Yeah, I said it. I love you, it’s there.
You look at me clueless
Almost like you didn’t notice
Then I see your ears go red the way they do when your
And I know you heard me
Words hanging in the open I know you feel my fear
I remember months before when you said the same thing
But my fear controlled me and instead excuses broke free
I’m not ready.
I’m not right for you.
Why would you love me?
You pulled back
Then you hid from me
What might have seemed like a week to you
Were really years for me.
The next time I saw you she was clinging to your arm
I couldn’t believe it
I was shocked
But I hid my feelings and covered them up with a smile
Then everything was normal again
Except for her
Yeah I said it. I love you. It’s there.
I get it now. I understand
It’s insane and irrational
But I now stand where you stood.
I’m feeling what you felt.
How did this happen to calm
But there is this wedge that slides between us
You used to be by me constantly
Strength in our bond
But she walks in and flips her hair
I don’t stand a chance
And your place next to me stands unfilled
She makes me feel out of place
With her dirty looks and glares
I’m not your competition
Or at least so I thought
She’s young and she’s pretty
Sometimes she’s what I’m not
But I’ve been there when you’ve needed me
That’s not something that she’s got
Yeah I said it. I love you. Its there
I hate the fact I haven’t said
The words that I can’t bear
Remember just last week
When you whispered in my ear
You said I’m yours, just yours
I help you when others cant
You understand me when I don’t understand myself
But then I blushed and pulled away
Why did I?
But then you talked about her
And I couldn’t help but feel sad
For a moment I had you back
For a moment things were back to normal.
We still have our moments
Though they are few and far between
You gave me your jacket
We’ve gazed at stars at night
But I come back to reality
And we are sitting on the couch
The time still ticks away
Its time for me to leave
I have to say goodnight
I’d rather stay for hours, or until the suns first light
But we both get up, still shaking
And we quietly say good night
I leave the house I’m on my way
But I know I lost the fight
So, yeah. I said it.
But only in my head.
Ill always wish I said it out loud
Until I find my strength
I love you.
Nothing to do,
But spill tears on this page
Nothing to do, I guess,
But cry all day.
Nothing to say,
When i say too much
Nothing to say,
When I'm loosing lust.
Nothing to care for,
But the little things I love,
Nothing to care for,
But the stranger I love.
Nothing to write,
When everything I do's a mistake,
Nothing to write,
When my life's about to go in flames.
In flames up or down,
I wouldn't want to say,
Down or up, my thoughts all day.
Will you be sad with me?
I shouldn't have asked.
Will you help me through?
Or is it, "Too great a task?".
I have two sides,
The bad, the good,
My mind considers both,
But the bad figures it could.
The good shines some light,
Just enough if i need help,
But not enough, never enough,
That will ever shroad the doubt.
Why do people get famous,
For such stupid things
Why are some people popular,
Why does no one know
Well, I guess that I don't want them too
I keep a thick layer of snow.
Why is this at-all beautiful,
It's one of the sadder things I"ve wrote
But i guess, when you go high,
It's never the prettiest note.