I know I am hard to deal with,
the way I word the way I am feeling.
How I tell you I don't want to eat another thing for the rest of my life,
how I tell you I want to die, or slice lines into my skin until I can see blood coming up.
But the way you ignore me after I tell you,
like you are scared of who I am or the way my head works; hurts me
It makes the empty feeling I tell you about more noticeable,
and you promised me on metal swings,
when I heard birds chirping at us,
when I felt the sun slowly soak into my skin,
that you would never hurt me.
I died with my betrothed
but I survived , I lived...
God had chosen me
to tell about
this greatest love of us
The epic romantic disaster
a love saga
between Jack and Rose
and the mystery of Titanic
the famous sinking ship
I wince at the pain that electrifies through my body,
You look down and reassuringly smile at me.
I inhale and exhale deeply,
'Keep calm' I continuously tell myself.
You tug at my body,
My chest rubbing against yours.
Our sweaty bodies are intertwining,
Uniting us as one.
Your breathing becomes heavy,
Your hands twisting through my hair.
I pull your body towards me,
And clutch onto your bare back.
'I love you'
Your warmth breath tickles against my steaming skin.
The mixture of pleasure and pain shot through,
As the sensation filled me.
Within a few moments,
Your eyes glance into mine.
'You're perfect' I barely whisper,
As your moistured lips greet mine.
You’ll give me a look
And I’ll give you a word
You’ll give me a question
And I’ll tell you a story
You’ll give me time
And I’ll give you ghosts
We’ll draw each other blueprints
Mapping out every escape route
You deal in ideas and
I deal in letters
In unfulfilled promises, stolen art
What could have beens and prose
At first my words are beautiful
So you’ll give me a heart
In return, I’ll give you a poem about a heart
You’ll give me affection
I’ll take your kisses and your smiles
I’ll take your mornings and your cigarettes and your compliments
And I’ll love you so much
That I’ll write you into my story
I’ll give you your space
I’ll give you my ears, my blind eye
If you want to bury your head, baby I’ll be your sand
After all, we were both just looking for a safe place to land
You’ll give me your heart
Over and over and over again
But I’ll always want more
I’ll always want you to understand
That the thing you love is just a piece
That I am a thousand times the things you think I think I can be
That I love everything a little
But will never settle
On any one path
I want to follow you everywhere
Just to prove to you that I can be everywhere
And you’ll get tired of that
I want to be everything you’re not
Just to prove that I still exist outside of us
You’ll get sick of trying so hard to figure me out
Just when you’re ready to leave I’ll decide to show you everything
Things will be good again for a few days
But then we’ll start saying sorry again
We’ll give and give and give
But every gift will be a size to small
The wrong color
So close to right that we’ll walk around with blistered feet and smiles too tight
Loving each other in clashing colors
It won’t be long before we start to miss each other whenever we’re near each other
It won’t be long before it hurts more than we’ve decided it’s worth, but still
I’ll probably always miss you a little
When I speak,
my eyebrows tell their own story,
filling in the details.
Even when I try my hand
at tact, striving for
my eyebrows loiter in dark corners,
Living with two feral beasts
on one’s face
just short of a chainsaw.
In private I must
chisel & furrow,
for these miniature sculptures,
the Michelangelo topiaries.
This isn’t vanity.
This is protecting a pious public
from a lecherous, libidinous wolf.
For me, leaving the house and
participating in pleasantries,
daily interactions, is enough of a
Leviathan leech loading my back
without seditionist caterpillars
millimeters from munching my eyes.
It’s for me that I tweeze,
NOT pluck like a chicken,
that row of hair
which runs the length of my brow.
For me, for my comfort in
I also do it for you,
if only to keep you from
flinching in fear
as my eyebrows defy
my utmost efforts
at not offending you.
I wish to feel your presence.
I wish to feel your touch.
I wish to see your angelic face.
I wish to see the matured adult you've grown to be.
I wish that we weren't parted.
I wish that you weren't took so young.
I wish that you had a chance, one you deserved.
One I would have given everything for.
I wish I could appreciate the world that surrounds me.
I wish I could see the beauty of it.
But what is beauty when such a cruel thing has happened?
They tell me you’re an angel,
One who had to be free.
But all I hope and wish for,
Is that you’re looking over me.
For even if your existence may not be seen,
I know, my dear sister, you’re with me.
Over the clouds, past the sunlight,
You’re watching with granddad,
The life that I must lead.
I'll be honest,
I'm scaired of you,
Not of your perthetic weed of a body,
But you are mentally intimidating,
You have the ability to manipulate people against me,
You believe you are mentally superior,
And you know I rely on you.
When I no longer rely on you,
And you make me lose my rag,
How superior will you be?
When I tear you limb from limb,
And there is nothing you can do,
You are helpless and hopeless,
Only then will you relise,
that you have made my life hell.
I would rather be a good man,
Than a scholar, any day.
So fuck all of the capitalists,
With their wages of higher pay.
I don't need a massive house,
Or a load of fancy shit.
I only want a simple life,
That is non-materialistic.
You need to learn, that man can't buy,
Some friendship or her love.
And memories are all we take,
When we depart for home above.
While you're out blowing money,
I'll just stick to spending time.
Taking journeys and adventures,
Capturing pictures in my mind.
See all I ever want,
Is a life of love and joy.
And to someday raise a daughter,
Who would someday meet a boy.
I could only be so lucky,
In fact, forever I'd be pleased,
If the boy she someday met,
Resembled younger me.
I know I'm not the greatest,
There's no arguing that.
But, I'll remain a gentle soul,
A true and simple fact.
So, call me a lazy slacker,
Perhaps I'll never strike it rich.
But, I'm always kind and caring,
And, I'll never act a bitch.
You can try to judge me,
And tell me how I'm wrong.
But, this one here is my life,
And I will live it 'til I'm gone.
Remember, even young Lloyd,
Knew that Gabriel rocks.
And he did what he loved,
And he loved to kickbox.
But see, the music and fighting,
Were mere entertainment and sport.
Instead, he pursued love,
From sweet Diane Court.
Now at night I sometimes dream,
To be slightly Dobler-esque.
Learn to strive for what I want,
Then cast aside the rest.
'cause money may try to alter,
The way people act and seem,
But, no currency will ever affect,
The fact that I am me.
I have dreamt about this moment too many times.
And let me tell you, your lips taste better in real life.
Sending shivers down my spine, making every nerve intertwine.
Your skin feels warm and smooth against mine, as i hold you closer with each smile.
Your hair smells pure and heavenly, as i breathe every inch of you and cache it mentally.
You might not have done this intentionally, but you make my heart beat irregularly.
You fit my brain like a glove and i flutter your heart like a dove.
Tracing every inch of you my hands throve, and taking in those mental images of you my mind strove.
As i grew tired of this chase, i thought to myself i could never grow tired of this face.
You somehow make time slow its pace, and before i know it its time for us to leave this place.
You show me the parts of you you kept hidden, and i play them over and over in my head, but from people's eyes its forbidden.
You show me how your heart was overridden, by those you wanted to stay true but didn't.
No matter how many times my heart will split, i will continue searching for those true eyes and never quit.
Turning my pupils into fire like a hundred candles lit, as i pledge to you for a hundred years i shall commit.
Breakup for the makeup, the sex is is poetry within itself. Loving you is bad for me...it's bad for my self esteem, and it's bad for my health. I feel bad when I see how I make you so weak...to see a grown man tear up, and do crazy shit without stopping to think. You love the curve off my hips, the scent of my hair and my soft full lips. The birthmark on my wrist, and the one on my ribs which you never miss to kiss. The tone of my voice when I'm grilling you, the sparkle in my eye....when you recognize just how much I'm feeling you. It hurts me every time when you doubt how much I love you, because you're not the only one strokin'.....but you're the only one I make love to.
And the passionate kisses tell it all. I got up from your lap and slid off your pants, then ripped down your draws. I worked my way down and started slowly, deep throated your love as I played with your.....You ripped me up by my hair so I can tell you're still mad, then you bent me over and slapped my ass, as hard as you could, and then you put him in me and I gripped every inch of your manhood. And you know I can't take it. Your nails dug into my sides, and thrusted so hard thinking I'd run...but you know I can take it. We switched then I started to ride, the anger in your eyes became harder for you to hide. Repeating your insults to you "I'm a bitch, I'm a hoe and I'm so fucking selfish." And I gripped on your neck, just as I felt your legs clam like shellfish. Fast and slow, I like watching your face, so I switch up the pace...and ride fast then slow. "I love you." Now I got you, not a second too early, not a second too late. You flipped me on my stomach and I felt all your weight. You started to pant extra hard and I told you to wait. I wasn't done, you pushed my face into the pillow as I felt you cum. Couldn't bring yourself to pull out.....fin.
But we know how your men swim. And I'm not on birth control so let's pray that I don't get pregnant again.