We had fun,
Teasing and imagining,
About the shadowy,
Time to come.
I feel adored,
Compliments and vivid hopes,
Personally for me,
I feel accompanied,
Because you said,
You never wanted,
Me to be needy.
Once I met a boy
he sat next to me in
We drew pictures
and laughed together,
and when the teasing comments began,
I realised I wouldn't mind if they were true.
Me and this boy, we went through everything.
We drew pictures of owls and bassists,
we taunted and mocked,
I beat him up with a white-board eraser
and he roared like the MGM lion.
I was known for goats,
him for cats.
Both for art, for pentagrams.
We spent time together,
me and this boy.
I fell in love with this boy.
This boy had friends.
They weren't too friendly.
One of them, a girl.
She ruined his life.
She kept me up till two,
reading the note he'd
supposedly written for me,
"I already do."
He were Smokey the Bear,
and he sang love songs on the green.
But all too soon
he was laughing at me.
He rolled his eyes
when I quoted Eric Carr,
as if to say
I had gone to far.
And yet he still
mocks and taunts,
I imagine his touch,
as he rips up my heart.
I've tried to get over him,
believe me I have,
you're probably sick of reading
about my encounters with him.
Today's been a year,
and it all seems as if
it happened yesterday,
I cry for what we could've had,
but what we never did.
I open the note from him,
the one that used to make my stomach
queasy, and as I read I realise
it's lost it's affect, the note
with no actions to follow,
I tuck it away and vow to never look
at it again,
but tomorrow comes and I'm holding it,
"He loved me once, didn't he?"
The words you'd circled,
and dammit, I tried, I really did,
but you were always the one thing
standing between me
I noticed his hands today.
Nimble and full of promise.
Wicked and appealing.
I sat nearby.
Flustered and unfocused.
Each movement teasing me.
And he sat,
Unaware of the emotions he provoked.
The thought of his hands.
What they could be capable of,
Swirls through my mind even now.
And I tremble at the thought,
Of possibly finding out.
I was sure
Sure of myself
Thought I was above clichés
Live to please someone?
Psh i'd think "it'd never come to that"
But then he was there
He'd been there a while
A comfortable smile
I kid you not
It came to me like a slap in the face
This sudden urge? This unrivalled adoration?
It felt so out of place
Its the simple things
Your little gap between your teeth
The effortless and energising teasing
I began to see see parts of me within you
The quiet thoughtfulness
The smile you had for everyone
Always a thousand times more beautiful when directed at me
but my thoughts are
and you're here
in my mind
why won't you get out
leave me alone
don't smile that way
don't laugh with me
hate my jokes
be with me
no more teasing
no more tricks
just laughter, smiles
hugs and a kiss
in the dark
or get out
I am greedy, angry, needy
for the feel of your soft breathing
easing through my freezing lips.
Self destructive thoughts I'm feeling;
for your heart is an intriguing contrast
to the fleeting sense of beating
in this black hole in my chest,
sinking underneath the feeble sense
of overheated thinking for
why you treat me like your dearest,
not a whispered, awkward greeting
or a bleeding, broken weakling.
Though, if you ever came to leaving
I'd be grieving for the teasing thought
of believing that my life
once had a beaming sense of meaning.
A steamy trail of particulate vapor issues from her lips
tracing the outline of her silhouette and rising
it diffuses into nothingness
Don’t listen to what your parents or teachers tell you, kids-
smoke is very sexy.
she exhales again
slithers languidly through the still air
stretching for something-
rolls across my coffee table
like dunes in fast-forward
drips off the edges-
She puffs a thick ring at me
it crosses through the void space toward me;
I reach out to touch it- to grasp it
and it dissipates;
it traces the airflow-
the negative space
like a jungle cat pretending to be
the light between the leaves
she knows this
and she can see that I know she does
is why I am so captivated
and in general-
I had a dream the other night
For people like me, dreams are nonexistent
We never sleep, so we never dream but I was so tired
I had been around the world more than hundred times that day
My body was drained of energy
So I fell asleep, and well, dreamed
The rain has finally let up, clouds begin to clear
Rays of light soon peeked out from behind
Trees surround the walking paths, grass covers patches of land
I take a seat right next to a fountain
Mist attacks the pores of my skin
My fingers graze against the slight sheen
Just as I am about to turn around, let the water hit my face
A woman appears next to me
She wears a red scarf with a bright, yellow coat
It sort of screams McDonald’s
But when her elegant, innocent face with big blue eyes and brown hair
Turn to me, Mickey D’s is the last thing on my mind
A soft smile graces her lips and I return it hesitantly
Not sure why she is here, or what’s going on
Do you come here often?
She asks and I almost laugh at the pick-up line used by so many
But those eyes and that innocent expression refrain me from doing so
Um no, I don’t even know where I’m at
I reply honestly, because I don’t remember this place
There are so many; I can never keep track
That’s a shame
I love coming here
There’s a silence here, not many places have that
Silence, something I rarely hear
But it encompasses this entire area
I notice it then, we’re the only ones here
The thought vanishes when she speaks again
So why are you here?
I stare at her then look all around me
Tall and lean trees surround the vicinity
Encroaching on the small stone trails
Sunlight blotches in thin lines between leaves
Green, plush grass covers the land between paths
The soft water of the fountain can be heard and small chirping sounds emerge
I begin to relax, let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding
I needed a break
She nods her head and doesn’t ask why
Something I’m grateful for
Instead she says
I know what you mean
Someplace to catch your breath
Find a moment of peace
When she says it, it hits me square in the face
Peace, that’s what I needed
I nod my head once, indicating I understood her
You can’t stay for very long, can you?
I shake my head no
That’s what I thought
Don’t you ever just want to settle down?
I look at her—this girl, this woman, this stranger
Who reads me like a book
Turns every page and reads every line
And finds all the secrets hidden inside
I wish it were that simple
I say looking down the shady path
Well, I have to be off
She says as she rises and rearranges her scarf
I grab her wrist, signaling her to wait
Where are you going?
I ask looking up with an expression that surely reads displeasure
She smiles with a teasing glint in her eye and takes my hand
Come on, you can walk me out
I follow like a man in a daze
Her hand warm in mine
I glance down at her and realize how much taller I am
She’s so petite but so breathtaking
What’s your name?
I have to know that at least
Her lips turn up slightly and the glint returns to her blue orbs
We reach the end of the path
Where the trees widen
Into an open area
Full of grass, knee high
But I see it, in a distance, another trail, as trees part for its way
One, I assume she is going to get on
Well, here we are
It was a pleasure
She states facing me
I look down at her
At a loss for words
I stare at her in discontentment, not knowing why this has to end
I don’t want to say goodbye
She smiles wider this time and reaches up to touch my cheek
Oh how different you are
I almost forget to breathe
Emotions swirling around me
Captivating my body
I blink to regain some motion
And she’s gone
I look around frantically
Searching for her
Then I catch sight of her
Across the way on the other path
Waving in yellow and red
I attempt to run to her
But my feet don’t move
I look down and see them fading
Before I know it, the sun becomes cloudy, trees blur and vanish
And I wake up feeling a loss like none other
I had lost time, during the dream that night
But I knew, those hours, those minutes of peace
Were worth it, even for just a moment
Then I remembered, I did know her
I try to stop by every chance I get
Just to look at her, make sure she’s okay
Even though she sees right through me
Her innocent charm, her wonderful personality
Of course, it would only be her
What’s your name?
Where you from?
What do you like?
What do you hate?
Tell me your story
So amaze me
You’re so pretty
Tell me your sign
We got nothing but time
Don’t send me away
My interest is peaked
Make my day
What’s your talent?
What can you do?
There’s got to be something
Maybe name a few?
I have no idea
Where this will go
I’m an inquiring mind
Wanting to know
Visually you’re pleasing
And my brain is twitching
From your teasing
Tell me what’s on your mind
Baby we got nothing but time
you reminded me of a trip i took to the countryside, one summer. the back yard of our cottage stretched out onto a field, filled with grass the colour of sand, that reached my waist. there was a tree in the middle of it all. a thick trunk, with a dusting of leaves. i always thought how perfect it would be to sit under that tree, late at night, or early in the morning (whichever way you look at it), with a stomach too full, thoughts too drunk, eyes empty of tears,
or your arms around me.
i think it was that sky, though; a robin's egg blue teasing the tips of the long grass. sometimes i looked at you and felt that sky growing inside of me, knotted with my soul in the most delicate way possible. sometimes, i still do.