You dont understand Chris
You are the best thing for me
You are a collection of dusty white illusions, desires, love on window panes
the color and tinge of which I am so excitable about
putting up in our new home
your face inspires me to write
like the angels
your face inspires me to be free
the compassion,
if only you knew less,
and more of how much it makes me
sad
because you relinquish the love in my heart
by
folding it half in half, half in half
till there is nothing for the world to be seen
reverted back to where I've been
touched by an untouch
closed
because all of the love that I've known
is not tangible
never tangible enough

I've waited months
I've waited near a year

because how can someone own up to all my dreams
materialize them as all I see
need me
but not enough to enter into security
the commitment of short chance
the security of knowing nothing will always last
and that doesnt make me seem bitter
feel bitter
in the upturned corners of my heart
its that something
something keeps you from rolling into me
something to conceal yourself from me
its not what you want
its not what you feel

if that's the case then why cant I leave?
why cant I walk my spirit out of your life
without you noticing every detail
without some sadness in my wake?
because you want to brush your angelic knuckles across my streaming skin
because you need my mind to guide you, to get inside you
because you dont know
but you like it when you touch me
you talk to me like a concerned parent in your sleep
when I'm fine
quiet, assuming of the worst
because this would, and was the very first
that he's all that he projected himself to be
he loves, and so tenderly, so carefully, so fully
so it makes sense
that he wont give of himself to an item that includes me
and its not me,
you say honestly
but you cant say it isnt you
your perceptions
of what are boundaries
and zipties
isnt true
I'm not like your women
I know what it means to love

I give you air, I give you breath
I give you laughter, and the wind
I give you earth, I give you security
I give you pools to soothe your ridgid mind, to let the heaviness sink and be left behind
a place to allways land, to always fall
EVen when you loose your precious mind
Always know I'd be there to closely follow behind
I give you understanding
I give you your genious
because I have enough of it to not take yours for mine
I know what it means to love
I know what it takes to love you
even if you dont know, its true

mixed up beautiful man
just silence yourself and lets walk away
hand in hand
because I wont take up half your bed
I wont make you build a second-life
from the lies you have to tell your parents on behalf of me
and I wont kick and scream when time comes for life to carry you away from me
and I wont put taxes on my body, because if its my land
you can have it freely
and I wont tell you one thing, then judge you based on another
I wont follow you around the house
I wont take your money
or make you pay my way
because you are darling to me, because both you and I are different from they

The day sets sudden into summer shimmering
blind beasts patchy and lost
wander hopelessly along the tarmac trails of rubber foot caravans.
My mind races rancid thoughts forward
the winner takes all
that winter melancholy waving funeral flags at the finish line.
I'll bite down my teeth on the metal masculinity
and taste holiday nostalgia:
burning meat,
drunken rednecks,
fireworks just past dusk,
that mixture of sulfur and black powder,
fumes.
I can't keep on like this,
knees shaky from miles measured in ruby minutes.
I'll eat this city whole,
carbon emission load before my final marathon.
These teeth will shine down like symmetrical clouds in the sky
my mad mans brittle grin.
I used to wish:
for finer living in laps of luxury;
for nights wrapped in silk, sweat, shine, and infamy;
for heavens gates to open pearly white to golden streets for me.
Those days have lost their charm
beaten dreams that bellied up
and showed their starving guts.
Submitted and laid down
with their tails tucked between legs
and panting for mercy
my dreams play bottom bitch to reality's sadistic hand.
As for now;
I hope.
Hope I can hold the fire in my hand
to burn my life and this city to the ground
the pile of ashes will bare no souls return.
That silent hour,
I want to be alone and involved
in the fashion of dogs.
I'll wander off alone to the trees.
My brittle ribs showing
the silent cage of my black and tired heart.
The trees will whisper their names to me
as my spirit shakes their shining leaves in rising.
Goodbye you lion;
your angel face was as quiet as ever,
slack and pale under a harvest moon.

You take there pride, there roar,
what goar..
      You take there skin and get some win?
take that shot,
oh whatta sin
there sold just bought.
that thaught must rot..
there little cubs chopped down to nubs,
oh why oh why,
you'd join there clubs   You take the time.
to aim for gone,
good by nature, Sorrow spirit, they so wrong
last lion song..

When I am able to control my daydreams
If only for a second
I grab the opportunity to think of you, to envision us
I capture the moment as it fades into the darkness
And save the file securely in my brain.

Reminiscing about my self-controlled journeys always lifts me up
Keeps me at ease
They can force their blurred negatives into the slideshow
But, inside me, I am smiling
I push their visions away, turn back the page
And continue.

I will never know if it is your own doing
But you save me.
Our wave of love and happiness washes me clean of doubt and fear
Rendering their attempts pointless
Keeping my spirit high
Keeping the rope safe in my hands.

You save me.
In need of joy, I think to you
And you save me.
When I need no joy, I think of you
You are my savior.

Maybe it was me
Maybe I crowned you my hero
But either way my love,
Illusions are temporary, images are forever,
You have saved me.

Remember the time
Our lips met
And Chihiro left on a journey
That will never be as good as
Mine.
My spirit meets yours
And cleans up the sadness
In the dark shadows, just as she does.
Our lips exit the bathhouse
Hand in hand.
Hold your breath across the bridge
Until you're safe against the base of my
Neck once again.

Native American Code Of Ethics:

Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often.
The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.
~
Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path.
Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem
from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.
~
Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others
to make your path for you. It is your road, and
yours alone. Others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you.
~
Treat the guests in your home with much consideration.
Serve them the best food, give them the best
bed and treat them with respect and honor.
~
Do not take what is not yours whether from
a person, a community,the wilderness or from a
culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours.
~
Respect all things that are placed upon
this earth – whether it be people or plant.

Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words.
Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them.
Allow each person the right to personal expression.
~
Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative
energy that you put out into the universe
will multiply when it returns to you.
~
All persons make mistakes.
And all mistakes can be forgiven.
~
Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind,
body and spirit. Practice optimism.
~
Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us.
They are part of your worldly family.
~
Children are the seeds of our future. Plant
love in their hearts and water them with
wisdom and life’s lessons. When they
are grown, give them space to grow.
~
Avoid hurting the hearts of others.
The poison of your pain will return to you.
~
Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the
test of one’s will within this universe.
~
Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual
self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need
to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out
the body to strengthen the mind. Grow
rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.
~
Make conscious decisions as to who
you will be and how you will react. Be
responsible for your own actions.
~
Respect the privacy and personal space of
others. Do not touch the personal property of
others – especially sacred and religious
objects. This is forbidden.
~
Be true to yourself first. You cannot
nurture and help others if you cannot
nurture and help yourself first.
~
Respect others religious beliefs.
Do not force your belief on others.
~
Share your good fortune with others.
Participate in charity.

As I sit here alone,
thoughts of you fill my head.
I go over and over
what you meant to me,
what you still mean to me.
You touched my heart,
like no one before.
Our memories totally surround me,
with every waking moment -
they are the last things I feel
before I retire at night.
Dreams of you weigh
on my mind and wake me.
This is when I miss you the most.

Our lives are on different paths now.
You are taking time
to figure out what you truly want,
even though I already know,
but have no control over it.
My wants rest in your hands.
So, I tread forward,
pretending that all is well,
while inside, I feel like I am dying
without your love -
your love that supported me;
your love that sustained me.
your love that completed me.
Now, I am lost without it.

You have asked
if we can still be friends?
I knew this would be
hard for me to do,
even after all of the hurt.
So, I took some time
to mend my heart,
and I learned  to forgive you -
with open arms
I welcomed you back.

Things are going well,
however, I remain so guarded.
I know that I must be this way,
so as not to be misled.
You tell me that you understand.
Yet, truly, do you realize
that I have given you one last chance -
one last chance to remain a part of my life?
This is all I can afford to give you anymore.

I am trying to move forward each day,
by taking small steps,
instead of one giant leap.
Sometimes I feel like
I am making progress;
other times, I feel like I am failing.
Time is all I have during my transition.
One day, all wounds shall be healed.

Time will tell what becomes of us.
One thing I know for certain is,
even though I am moving forward,
you will always feel
my spirit close by -
this same spirit
that will always care for you
and wish you well.

Vicki A Zinn
2008

oh most holy,most all that's beauty-my lord and savour,my only master,spirit of perfection,i beg of thee to strengthen my existence,to be bearer of your love and grace,to set my soul free of all that earthly be-to allow your reason,your mission,your way of honor,of respect,love,protection,of all that of your plan,for time is forever and of your mansion how awesome be.
forgive my arrogance,my pride,forgive,the sin of not allowing your way -the only way lift my heart,let me always feel the presence of you and infuse thy holy spirit within every breath i take,everystep i take for all i forsake for thee.i love you holy commander;supreme architect of the universe
i kneel and praise thee
amen

Walking Ashore at SunRise Beach,Lake Bluff's
mission it will  teach,The heart, the Spirit lifts to the Sun, Peace, Love, Happiness to Every single one.

Lake Michigan Shows Truest Beauty at this point, The colors illuminate waviest  of it's power.Beseech the feeling,the Love for it all Love for it all,   at SunRise Beach


Now the Hawk swept down just over my shoulder,Thank,Thank,Thank you Master, for that encounter, It's the Timing the Honor That One of a Kind feeling-