Let me be empty;
Being empty is all I know.
Stop with all you're doing,
I won't let these feelings grow.
Let me cry for others!
I don't feel my pain anymore.
It was that pain that left
My soul wasted and sore.
Let me love myself a little.
I am tired of loving him.
Please! Oh, please let me!
It makes those memories dim.
Let me; just let me to myself.
I know what I must do.
And when I'm finished doing it
I swear I'll be loving you.
From my Dark Watcher series:
I walk within the darkness,
a soul damned to search,
throughout eternity, lost to
the ray’s healing light.
A cold that has invaded,
and thus holds reign, over
a still heart that cries out for peace.
How is it then, that as I gaze into your eyes,
passion’s inferno burns deep.
A shimmering of warmth,
to soften Hell’s wrath?
Or a dream that refuses to fade,
into the mists of eternal darkness.
Moistness I feel, as she lays her
alabaster cheek against mine.
Is it her tears, or my own?
As I close my eyes upon the coming
of dawn, she lies within my embrace.
A forbidden love forever mourned.
Kathleen M. Kohl/Levinski
Another finger tip,
another fine gentle brush of your skin.
Like a canvas you have painted this master piece.
Yet the pieces are made of me.
As the water colors start to run,
So do my emotions.
Or what is left of them.
I've really fucked up.
I've really fucked up.
I've really fucked up.
the canvas is complete.
First soul mate,
I'm in pieces,
and soon I will be gone.
Got some bad news for this one
Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
How will my story ever be told now?
Make me feel like somebody
Like somebody else now
I wonder if I'll live to grow old now
Getting high 'cause I feel so low down
Ain't no love in the heart of the city
Ain't no love in the heart of town
Did you enjoy my pain?
Was it fun to watch me fall?
You where the reason why I became this way
Everyday, my life is tormented by nightmares,
Nightmares that are my reality
Do you feel nothing for what you have done?
Have you ever thought how your actions might affect others?
While I trusted you, you plotted my demise
You told me you cared for me, but it was all a lie
I shouldn't have trusted your sweet lies
Was it your plan to destroy my soul?
What was your purpose for making me suffer?
I feel helpless in this dark abyss that you have created
As the years past by, it grows bigger
Being nurtured by my growing sorrow..
Today I look at my life and wonder.
Is life worth all this pain I have been through?
My whole being has been twisted by your selfishness
My understanding of life is so mush different than others..
What i see as torment, they see as pleasure....
I use to wish for my salvation
But now I only wish to feel my own suffering
For I have grown to love the feeling of torment
I love to see the scars on my skin
And feel the scars on my soul
If only you knew the real me
You would cry and pity me...
But I wish you never to know.........
I would like to sit in an open field with you and scream at the top of our lungs
until ever word that's ever knotted in my throat comes pouring out of my mouth and dripping from my lips like blood
I would like to scream for every plea for help you've ever held inside and cry for every tear your heart refuses to release
Scream with me until we've clinched our fists so tight that every blood vessel made of nightmares untold will burst into a pool of secrets
Until our bones are wrapped in layers of nostalgic thoughts
and my spine coated in leaves closer to death than I believe I am
Though blood may be the poison watching each word fall from your heart immerses my soul like crimson relief
Speak to me with clairvoyance.
You do not have to spell things out,
let your eyes whisper your desire,
let your skin emanate your soul,
let your body heat
sweep me off my feet,
I want to trace the ink
on your body,
not the type
Think about it.
of being opened like a book
free and clear
easily dog-eared and torn
of being wrong
or of being too right
and so i keep my mouth closed
when i think it might matter
of eye contact
this stopwatch somewhere within my soul
tells me when to look away
so i can never give too much
and never know too much either
of displaying emotion
so generically poetic, this idea
of holding it in
but i fear letting it out
before knowing what it is
and being a young, confused wanderer
i keep these fears to myself, waiting
until i know what they mean
of never finding out
Look to the valley, the valley below
Where the river runs smoothly
A testament to the soul
Mountains are fertile with the passage of time
Where new growth is a forest of love from the divine
Rolling hills tell a story that spans the lifeline
Of an energy force that has molded refined
Peace forms a balance between yin and yang
the female of the heart, the male of the brain
Such beautiful tundras of lotus in blossom
Like jewels within rainforest that are called hidden powers
alignment of these jewels sets a calm deep within
where the wildest of animals make a harmony distinctive
Breaths of fresh air from the seas to mountain tops
Encompass the blessings that God has given us
What a radiant beauty is burst forth into darkness
where the laughter of much love brings a light that's contagious
finding that place between being good to myself
and being good to other people it difficult because
when i'm good to myself i want to see everyone else
fail because as that stupid movie about the oil baron
said "there is a competition in me, i want noone else
to succeed." this is a good reason why i'm always alone
and always in front of a screen typing out lengths
of words to teachers and random people on youtube
and these people who have strangely lit my heart to
create even when all i know are their words. i feel that
a i know them completely or the part i would like to know
forever is clear as long as i don't let myself and my need
for attention and control get in the way of this gift that
individuals are freely giving every single day on here.
ould like to turn away from forever and find a cave in the
middle of one of the less populated states and study the stars
there but how is this possible without strength and the courage
to stand up to the
lizards in this town who force and rape their neighbor
of his soul while handing him a loaf of bread in a good
christian way extending the hand of grace the final
cause of a long line of cold calculated actions the weight
of inbred decisions coming to a spectacular meltdown
of the generation playing the same games their parents
did playing the same games grandma and grandpa did
back when this town was pure and good without the undesirable
other to take a walk through the stage of the grace space maze
making the light a pantied forward down one pass and everyone
runs through the mad maze of equilibrium
losing it on the path to bloomington cold crisp night face is frozen in places but still
muscles to move and talk whatnot why did you bring this on us
this horror on our family the best in a long chain of enemies
and inbred decisions to keep the haritage pure but mix with
the entertainers of the society players of music in the
fields dont mix with the pedigree of s
leek fast and always on time sharing a note
of reluctance with the one in heart that does
not reciprocate the offer to come back to my
place in the dark maze of africa making the
list go and on famously found the way to
the best way down a perfect way to the heart
of the suffering addict redemption in a can
will find a man who doesnt even know what
pieces he's missing in a bad way finding the
most efficient cause to a best man's wedding
society burning the flesh of dominos in the sea
all the time thinking about silence and the dancing
clerk with no shoes and top undone crooked lined
stance by alone the country dance I do not know