Her path was clear and filled with light,
Her thoughts were pure and ever right,
Her love secure and passion bright,
Her faith a beacon through the night.

She dreamt of life in other lands,
She wished for more than empty sands,
She looked for hope in other's hands,
She found nothing but broken strands.

Her heart now cold as falling snow,
Her love crushed like the grass below,
Her soul turned frozen long ago,
Her smile now simply there for show.

You will have a moon-faced child who is good at keeping secrets. She will be a piece of the the sea, ruled by the sun, and afraid of the dark. She will start to explore and never stop. More than anything, she will be frightened of being settled, getting stuck. She will say, "No, I will not", but at what cost? 

I have terrible nightmares. I dream that I am running, trying to defend my truths against immoral powers. In my sleep, systems corrupted by the complexity of control try to steal my simplicity, try to make me dirty and compliant, things I will never be. In my dreams I am persecuted time and again for things that make no sense to me. It is a feeling of choking claustrophobia, worse than any coffin. The injustice insults my soul, and I wake with heaving lungs and an aching heart.

I am obsessed with knowing myself. Maybe if I can understand that much, the rest of this will start to make sense. We'll see.

I worry. I worry about dentists. Pharmacists. Business marketing majors. The dispassionate masses. People content to do things for money. For little bits of green paper that aren't particularly attached to anything but false notions of power. I have no religion to reassure me that it will all even out on some other plane. I have here, I have now. I will not fritter and waste the hours that make up the dull day, I will not be made to be afraid.

It hurts my heart to see how easily my brothers and sisters accept the notion that we are destined to spend most of the precious hours of our existences working at jobs we don't care about just to stay afloat in a drowning economy, and how easily judgments are cast upon those who don't conform to such broken logic. It's easier to judge than it is to think. Thinking is so uncomfortable.

It makes me want to scream, to rant. Don't they see? We pave the way for each other to be lazy. We have created technology that we use to save time so that we have more time to spend on the important things, like trying to figure out how to get our hands on more money, so that we can buy more things. We aren't paid to create, repair, discover or teach. We are paid to entertain, not question. We survive by serving. And that's a little too close to indentured servitude, wouldn't you say? Planned obsolescence. Wage slavery. Stockholm syndrome. Electoral College. War on poverty. From the makers of Agent Orange, corn! And no, you can't heat up your burrito, you think you're fucking royalty? That's right baby, keep voting. You have a voice. You are free.

Our entire system is obsolete if the air we breath, the water we drink, and the food we eat are killing us because we've been so busy saving time that we forgot to remember not to poison ourselves. We create disease, and then spend lots of time and money "treating" it. Treating and treating and treating, fixing things by breaking things. Quality of life be damned, we want to live forever! It increases our GDP, don't you see?? When it's my time to go, plug me into a wall for a few years and then bury me in a big fucking box to make sure that the nutrients in my body won't feed the earth. Spend a lot of money on all of that. I will look down on you lovingly from my cloud, stroke my chin and proudly ponder my legacy. The end goal, it seems, is to die old and rich and fat, surrounded by things. To leave no mark of love on anything, not even our own hearts. It hurts my heart to see my people so removed from their selves and their truths that they think they are right.

So much of what I see around me hurts my heart.

First draw me in with your glinting eyes,
And those flashing teeth,
And those beautiful lies.

Then hold me down and steal my breath,
And keep me submissive,
A weakling at best.

Then leave me alone and rip me apart,
While selling my soul
And breaking my heart.

And keep building me up and beating me back,
And show me my faults,
And be what I lack.

But when white flags of truce Color our skies,
I'll look down on you love,
with contempt in my eyes.

night after night
she walks into wonderland
under hazy streetlights
to let thorns
shred her delicate petals
now her rosebud, gone forever

her eyes as dark
as the rolling tires
on the highways
that she sells herself on
sell your soul to the devil
he will let you keep the change

drunk on despair
and living on borrowed time
the wolves of yesterday
the dirt under her fingernails
linger like the voices
of the monsters under her bed

creamy thighs spread wide
for an endless audience
to spoon her milky honey
lick their fingers clean
clean of their conscience
the white washed walls

may the prickly blood
of the cold winter
not stain the white walls
or shrivel the leaves
but lead her to the water
and set sail in a teardrop

A block, a wall. Taller than tall. Away! Far away, forever she will stay. If we have it my way. Because my way is the only way. A contradiction you'll say. A game with no winner; The saint, The sinner. Find a way! It's a new day. Everyday. Mine an yours and their way. Lost my mind! And in no time, you will see; there's a me, and the me that I see. Be free! It could be a melody or a song to sing. New feelings to bring. And in my soul, the story she tells will never fail to lead me. My way. The way. A contradiction I'll say. You'll agree. Love me to hate me. Set you free! Just let it be. You and me.

Love is a perfect gift
For pure and precious hearts
Delicate and tender love
To be cherished …to be cared for..
Now and forever….

Uncountable…. un measurable love is
How deep… how high.. How strong
Do you know?

Unexplainable love is sometimes
A mere thought of someone
brings tears to the eyes..
An image of your loved ones
Brightens up your day
Vivid moments together
Are reflected upon your smiles..

Endless love… endless smiles..
Endless agony…endless pain..
Love is bitter but same time its sweet…
Isn’t love is so queer?

How clever love conquers..
Your brain, your mind,
your body and soul…
Love is tireless, never ending…
Fantastic feelings...in love..
Sometimes You cry but in your heart you smiles..
So often you smiles..same time your heart cries...
See.. how wonderful yet manipulative love is?

Beautiful...
A thousand miles is shared…
By just one love… one desire…
My love may not be perfect dear...
But I have Tears in my eyes,
you on my mind,
love in my heart
ocean in between…. can it stop me?
Can it stop you?
from saying….I LOVE YOU?

Walk, walk, walking, step, step, pace pace
Shoes wear down, I'm wearing my shoes.
Soles are all gone, those soles of my soul I sold to the devil for love.
Love to hate, hate to love.
The circle
The shape of my heart, my heart hurts
No pain
Paint the window pane with a picture so familiar just to hide the unfamiliar
Faces
Face the reality, they think
Thinking wrong.

TV isn't a reality, the news isn't real, new news is never news.
Just shit i already knew.
I knew we should have handed the gift  to give a gift of hope
For the best
Hoping for the world, a chance to rest
Hoping for peace
Hoping for more hope to hope the things that need the most hope
Hope, for a new pair of shoes