It has been said that religion is a crutch. Well then my friends, let us praise those who only need one crutch to get around!

I fear that even two crutches would not suffice for me. Even standing still or walking, the result would be an unceremonious fall. Although walking is a hallmark of humanities' ancestors, I myself would need the aid of a wheelchair.

Let us also not forget those who have no help at all. For some, this means they can walk tall. For others not so gifted by fate, fortune or heritage, it means they must crawl.

So I, from my perspective of low-position and station, whether in need of the wheelchair or the rough ground to crawl upon, find it relatively inane and banal to critique my fellow invalids, cripples, and broken souls. Alas this wheelchair is no mean platform to sit in judgement from; excepting for hypocrisy, that acquaintance to us all.

So should we all point at each others infirmities, shortcomings, and private tragedies, waving our crutches in accusation at the prosthetic limbed protagonist before us? Or should we silently be thankful if we have enough to get by, - crutches, chairs, slings and all?

Perhaps my betters can explain how to judge others so swiftly, truly, and justly? Pointing out so and so's prior sins and what's wrong with them. I am but a poor soul who simply resorts to love, lacking the telepathy to read the hearts and minds and know the travails and tribulations of the unknown cripple we castigate.

So please, weary traveler,  let me give you the wheelchair and I will keep the crutch in return, but do not fret, I only carry the crutch to give to the first person I find crawling.

Only then, needing to walk but having no aid, will I finally learn how to choose love over fear and strive for truth as I am unmoved, slowly wasting away.

I know this story
Two broken toys
Lives miming parody
Cruel tragedy

A girl behind glass
We can't touch our
Hearts live in the past

We could  press up
Against the pain of glass
It doesn't matter what we want
When your broken you just can't

I know how it is
Fate whispers tragedy
It can't be I want to die
Living dead presently

I see the world through glass
A world of people to see
They're mouthing words I can't hear
I scream but they can't touch me

I'm disconnected and distant
Shadow soul ghost echo
Ephermal intangible animal
Easily confused by what's real

Surviving starts this prison feeling
Crying staring at the ceiling
With every fiber of being
Longing to feel anything

I could sleep with you
Never touch soul just body
Fickle fates heart is a tyrant
One of life's little ironies

So you'll always be

The girl behind glass
Pretty snowglobe to stare at
Cold winter dream untouched
Secret hidden heart hurting enough

Find enough snowglobes
You'll learn to let go
We only have what we hold
Was it you we'll never know

But I'll remember you fondly
In your time of winter and trees most
Memories of hope I'll keep close
The last time someone touched my heart
These days I don't have many of those

I couldn't find who I am
Tell a soul
Why I'm damned
It's lost to me / lost to me

Get lost with me / lost with me
I've lost my way
Can you tell me please
Who I am today

So call me the doctor
Defrocked saint provocateur
whirlwind modern mess
All paradoxes in tension
I digress

So yeah tell me a story baby
And tell it to me true
I'll open up my veins
To all the lies / your sweet lies
That make up you

Get lost with me / lost with me
I've lost my way
Can you tell me please
Who I am today

Yeah we're all just paper lions
Roarin then cryin
Picture perfect Myriad contradictions alignin

So yeah tell me a story baby
And tell it to me true
I'll open up my veins
To all the lies / your sweet lies
That make up you

So yeah whisper your secrets baby
I'll make every one come true
Yeah open up your heart baby
You don't know what it might do

Get lost with me / are you lost to me?
I've lost my way / where are you?
Can you tell me please / oh dear please
Who I am today? / who are you?

I'm in love with feeling down
The feeling stays through towns
I pass along the way, each more beautiful than the last
All of the emotional nights have found
To be just as therapeutic as the sounds
that abound in my thoughts as they race towards the past
Back to the future where they all merge
A keyboard circuit surge
An electric strum
A soul being purged
With the words I'll hum, tell, yell
But first, do you have a cig I can bum?

I hear the door crack open
My soul rushes through the back of my skull
an egg yolk through the door of an airplane at cruising altitude

My body turns to jello
The air turns to tar

I can't move

I am hovering over my own body watching myself scream
"STOP"

It is as if Hermes himself grabs my body
and gives me the strength and speed of 10,000 men

I run
I run
I run

I catch you 5 steps from the end of your life

I wrap my arms around my personal Achilles
and not for the first time
and not for the last
I find safety in numbers

I know all the words to this song
I wish you knew them too
Then maybe you'd have some sort of idea
Of what I could mean to you

I sing this song when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm singing to you
I wish that my voice sounded like an angel's
So that it could be worthy of you

Those ears don't deserve the trash they speak
You shouldn't have to hear all their garbage
I've never glimpsed a soul so sweet
Yours is one that I won't let them tarnish

I am as bitter as the cud of the cow
As the blackest of coffee from the impurest ground
But you amaze me with every word that you say
You shine a light on my life that I've never dreamt I could have found

And I've fallen so hard
You're all I think about now

Don't you understand?
All the time, i am miserable
Never feeling love or joy
Instead, trapped in a world of loneliness and self hatred
Everyday is a battle, and the more time passes, the more I am losing
Life full of hardships, too much for me to bear

Kings bear the weight of their crowns with grace
Even when the challenges they face are insurmountable
Not once do they express doubt
Not once do they waver in their strength
Every man can not be king though
That much has been proven with my life
Hope long gone, death in its place, a young soul now departed

Darkened doorways to the outside, bright wide doorways to insides
My insides, spilled on the linoleum over the smell of oleander
I stare into your black cracked eyes with a loving smile
It’s a gaze in the fog where your thin fingers stretch
You are all the hills, all the ditches and fills, the trills
Of nightbirds and coyotes looking for the kill
You are ruthless, ruthless, ruthless…
And I fly every mile like a salamander slides.

And I must, hush, say this in a whisper, whispering cobwebs
My morning glory, sweet sunrise through black curtain.
I could have learned to live a long time ago
With a gaze in the fog you touched and taught me
You are all my fatal fear, your mind is clear, all here
Your legend floating in a perfect tear
It is endless, endless, endless…
Your crystalline flow on the uncertain ebbs.

How many, many eyes do you have? How many sighs
Drift through your rafters like your own vortex of laughter?
I remember falling in love with a light from beyond you
Your gaze in the fog like the fire from your head
Eggshell lead paint, no complaint, breathe in till you faint
With all your soul that of a stenciled saint
Songs so shameless, endless, ruthless,
Cannot fly through this shell until after it dies.

I could write novels on the way you make me feel,
filling infinite pages with your essence would be a simple task.
I'd struggle only with the way to word perfection and the way your eyes gleam
as well as describing the ways your smile makes me weak.
You are so damn far away and I miss the sound of your voice
with the frequency of the tides hitting the shore.
But despite the tilt of the earth, time zones, interstates, and state borders
that keep me away from my home, I still feel close to you.
I could reach my arm across the bed and almost feel like you are here.
I wake up in the middle of the night,
expecting the body I have never even slept with to be here protecting me.
I know you are, just not physically.
You cannot be in my region of time and space
and I cannot be in yours.
None of these boundaries can keep me from you,
we both refuse to let them.
But every single moment I do something new or see something beautiful
or blink
or breathe
I miss you.
My fingers curl against my palm and my hands ache,
I reach out for you.
I wake up once more and experience the biggest disappointment I could imagine.
You still cannot be here and I still cannot be there.
So for now, I'll hold you in my heart that keeps my blood circulating
and where you have purchased your retirement home.
I will let you reside in my heart and soul because you cared enough to tear
down the wall, brick by brick.
When we come together,
I will not waste another moment.
I will hold you tight and tell you I love you.
Even after I have found out the definition to your perfection,
I will sty and I will love you for a lifetime.
I know you will keep redefining it as you have redefined my life, soul, and heart.
I'll hold you soon enough.
But for now, know I love you
and that I will not return the keys to the space I occupy in your heart.