NOT YOU AGAIN,
THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY,
I been real busy for awhile
Gettin the place tidy for when I'm gone
Tryin to wash off all the blood stains
Gathering up alla the Love Poems
N burnin em in the Fire
Make a little room for Real Love
Even alla my friends're becoming stupid
All the people
Tossed into a suitcase
Picked up the the bell-hop
Who walks out the Door
WONDER WHERE HE'S GOIN
Like a story
Written on some paper
Blowing through some alley
examine the snowflakes
falling on my eyelashes
and dripping onto pale cheeks
but if you look quickly enough
you can see my reason
for being alive
i don't know where i'm going
or where i want to go
outside there's white tears falling
my mother calls it snow
the darkness seems to hum my name,
the moon, it seems to glow
and with each beam of light it shines
the less i want to know
what good am i to you? i ask
the empty sky above,
from which no god has landed yet,
and shown me any love,
and there's no use denying that i am lost
for the stars are lost as well
and though we wish upon those flecks of light,
they could be wishing upon us from hell
Day by day
Footprints in the snow
(When will I see a Man?)
Ain't no Reason
(none at all)
Images dancing in the falling snow
....in the snow
Jaylin was scared and detrimental -
with runaway scars,
his heavy breathing,
and the wolves chasing such a forgotten soul.
"I'm more afraid of death then before,
more afraid of the teeth ripping through my skull,
I have to end this dream.",
He said screaming, knowing it was but of no dream.
Is the end just above the harassing, or still just a mere speck waiting to be seen.
he screamed again, as the snow touched his face
- wishing his fellow friends could hear.
the mindless memories all over his body warned him.
It warned him he was still wanted by them.
Still yearned by the ones of which owned the forest.
"Jaylin, run! Run now!"
this wasn't his mind, but the mysteries' wind that ran next to him.
He heard it, but didn't know what it said until he saw them -
barking, running and almost screaming.
Jaylin stopped to listen to this screaming,
as if the screaming was the sound of a thousand ghosts that the Wolves killed.
Hearing all this he knew he wasn't the first.
"How could the wind know?,
Why are there some many voices in my head!?,
I don't want to be trapped like the other lost and forgotten souls!,
I don't want to be screaming in endless time of death !",
what was wished for was soon put away in the hollow sound of the universe.
they found him.
and the taste of death
where all things felt when Jaylin was bitten.
Bitten by The Wolves.
Delicate specs of white float through the air as I watch through my window. They pile up in the formation of thick frozen blankets atop the cars and houses. I'm cuddled up in my own warmth of cocoa and fleece. I seem to be safe and cozy by this angry fire.
It's been a long time.
Fields of orange trees are torn
from their roots
to make room for
a thousand empty wooden boxes to be
planted in their place
There these empty boxes wait
for the warmth of a family
To be furnished
How it longs
To watch kids play
safely in its living room
To have the dog trample
neatly cared for lawn
To smell dads cooking
fill every square foot
To see moms face
when she finally returns
from a long day of work
To have love absorbed into its fibers
and stand out amongst the rest
To be decorated for the passing seasons
with other things besides
rust and snow
It dreams of these
It knows it could be more than
just a box
So there it sits
It's been a long time.
and drifting snow
defies all bounds
that I know
a winter chill
does set in
to the bone
the cold creeps in
A clearing sky
few clouds remain
cold winds burn
bring you pain
as your flesh
mind goes numb
frost starts to bite
As you gaze
up to the sky
you ask yourself
how and why
have you found
yourself out here
all that's left
is the fear
fear of what
will come to pass
a night out here
you will not last
a frozen corpse
in the morn
no worries left
after the dawn
Cue the ever-prominent darkness;
Wake up in night, and feel the chill
Of snow and of stress
Resting on the window sill.
Feel it all around you;
This giant contradiction
Of happiness and tears.
You never spoke, but always knew
Of the below-zero affliction
That covered you in frost each year.
Cue the endless strings of lights;
Let the trees and houses glow
But it’s all an effort to block out night;
This you hate, but this you know.
Fear of midnight skies only rises
When snowflakes start to fall
And time seems to slip away;
We get by with our harmless disguises,
Forcing our minds away from it all
Until we wake to the light of day.
Cue the tray of hot cocoa;
Pair it with a candy cane
The warmth is sweet, but it is faux
And the mint walks you down memory lane.
But you don’t want to remember
No, you don’t want to relive innocence
You can’t go back to your Santa Claus days
For you want to love December;
You live the month with wistfulness,
But you cannot ignore the pain.
oh, rising sun on east horizon.
shine your light through purple hues.
sunbeam fingers reaching long
spreading warmth ‘cross mountains blue.
awake, oh towering pine majestic
for deep below your roots flows pure
crystal liquid falls in dance
to fill each pool with nature's mirror
this my Oregon, i call her home
where skies of grey and winter long
chills milder souls to the bone
yet hardy stock from which I come
know her best, still to be sung.
her rocky crags where eagles soar
her mountain lakes, her breaking shores
her rapid’s ripple, current strong
her open skies and painted rocks
from each she springs alive with flame
a floral tapestry, her fields ablaze.
here streams cascade through canyons tall
tumbling long in waterfall
through rock and mountain, a gorge cut deep
a bridge to history, the gods they speak (1
a people weary, a journey long
struggling forward they sang their song.
first the solo, small band of men
discovery's song, a brave brethren (2
an orchestra growing, families joined in
they came for land, they stayed for joy
smitten by beauty, they wrote our lore (3
today her wonder, her majesty
calls to her young, “come, walk with me,
come taste my bounty from forests green
from lakes, from streams, from ocean deep
from waving fields of amber grains
abundant yields, endure my rains
come sip my wines, my vineyards flow
come drink my waters, fresh winter’s snow
drawn deep from wells, my streams below
my plains and valleys, my hills and dales
i offer richness within my veil
when journey’s burden becomes too great
find respite in my sunset’s slate
my star-kissed skies they offer thee
my arms, my breast, thy comfort be."
i am hardly an expert on this subject, projecting here only my viewpoint and perspective garnered since my arrival in my late teens. hidden meanings tied to Oregon history abound here. for some reference i invite you to join me on a quick journey: