In a half empty house, lying on a half empty bed,
I find that the half smoked cigarette, jostles for half an inch,
with half a smile that has crept onto my lips,
when with half the night gone, I realize that
more than half of my thoughts are about you.
Strings plucked by cold fingers on cold hands.
The hand-bone's connected to the heart-string....
Sinew rasps against brazen cords, etching orchestral symphonies on the stone in my chest.
Riding the waves of screams, cries, songs...time.
Upon that crest I ride, ever away from that distant shore;
Ever away from that distant hope.
Ever away.
Caught in the tide of cold spring air.
Cool air sifted through fiberglass filters. Menthol kissing lips, freezing the air across my teeth.
Welcome, Nicotine.
Welcome to my body; lift me on your crest, carry my inhibition.
Invoke your calm upon my weary mind and let me forget I am alone.
Alone? Or...alone...?
Faces will be forgotten.
Sand covers cracks...sand covers much....
Time covers much, but not all.
Who will you remember best? Whom will I never forget? Who won't I have to?
The sand will fill the gaps, but...my house is clean....
Clockwise from the front, right: chap stick, lighter, change; nothing; wallet, gang-ties; pump; phone's in the jacket.
This is my identity, always with me - my companions. But none are company.
None can give what I seek. None, it seems.
Desolation is a feeling. And feelings console.
At least you can be certain of their purpose, at least you know who they are.
Who are you?
How will I know?
When will I see that wry smile and be certain of it?
Give me that stone heart, that I may etch my symphony upon it.
Let my sinew warm those brazen strings.
Ride upon my crest.
Be my Nicotine, my sand...my certainty.
he seeks shelter from the rain
in the coffee shop
she offers him a cup of joe
she offers a moment to reflect
the hipsters and hangers about
fill her world with sight and sound
fill her senses with smiles and joy
but inside she know she needs something more
that this place is just an emblem
and cannot sustain a soul like her
she could have anything
she just need ask
but she cant find the words to describe
cant find an image to convey
her souls need
but its clear to him
its a ship sailing to distant spain
its a road leading out into a western desert
its a train rolling thru a dark stormy night to a northern town
its a footpath thru mist
its a man seeking shelter from the rain
he leaves with her smile
which she gave with a hopefull heart
now
wrestle with the shadows in his heart
but its her face that lingers
in the late hour
in this last time he will stand
the standards of the champions
the fighters for truth
the liars
and the ones too dark to do else but die
they gather in harsh light
and prepare to do battle and stand their ground
a prince of the beasts proud and fair
a champion to the ones who have no strength to call their own
the frame of time captures only the movement
but the fickle thought of who he is
prince of beasts proud and fair
champion of the clean linen uniform
regal bearer of the standard of a rising sun
reflected only in the young eyes
those cheering champions like him on from the side
but its only her smile that lingers for him
as his life flows spent onto the sand
she never did catch that train
never did escape that shop
never did grow beyond the borders
of the hipsters and hangers on
but least they loved her too
in their way
and that is some comfort
Oh boy, you boy, you know what?
There's a change coming, I feel it in my gut.
I'm leaving soon, going away
Driving home in June, but it's not to stay.
The two of us, have just begun
Our golden thread is being spun.
My feelings for you are pretty neet
They are something I never considered I'd meet.
This depth inside me, you've shown, I've grown.
With you beside me, that unknown stone
That we cast down together to test the waters
Sent ripples and dust clouds, we almost faltered.
But like a dyeing man in the back of an ambulance
We kept being revived and finally gained confidence.
Now here we can stand, both hand in hand,
Unfocused on plans,
but enjoying the other with love I thought (rather a lot)
Only existed in books or in plots.
The opposites attract, it gets the seats packed
But this good story seems to be fact!
Oh boy, you boy, you know what?
You probably dont see it, but I love your strut.
Your eyes are so kind,
Even when you retract inside of your mind.
(And what do you find? My guesses are only blind.)
Your will is astounding,
It inspires me, it's grounding.
Your smile... oh that smile...
I'll just think on that for a while.
Black and white, day and night, a hero's plight.
There seems to be no wrong or right.
Both up and down, we spin around,
Will we be standing when the towns tumble down?
I don't know how else to say this, (a kiss)
But we are similar in ways we can't miss.
I love it
and I love you
And if that love stays true till the summer is through
I'll be right back here swooning in your gaze,
Giving you my love while we travel through this maze.
Oh boy, you boy, you know what?
If I have a short fuse
then you are a lighter,
setting me off
and watching me sizzle and spark
while you flicker out as if nothing happened.
Staring at me with your butane smile as I blow up,
and I can only infect everything around me with my flames.
It’s hardly fair, when you’re the one that started it,
that I get blamed when the village is on fire and I’m shaking in the center,
wishing someone would throw a bucket of water on me.
Yes I may be the monster here
but I am your creation,
a product of your antagonizing heat that hides
the fiery Frankenstein that you really are.
Let me in your room,
I've seen you from point A-Z,
But what's in your room is the deeper
meaning under those letters,
I know the basics of who you are
and what you do,
What's in your room can tell me who you are on the inside,
and why you do what you do,
I see the black North Face sweater you wear,
The one that I love,
What's in your room can tell me
What's underneath,
I see your beautiful smile,
The one that is only real around me,
What's in your room can tell me,
Why I'm the reason you smile,
I see your lingering pain,
When I am away,
What's in your room can,
Help it fade away.
ahahahahahahahahahahaha!
You made me laugh again today!
At the defense proposal
I was convinced
I would make it through
The proposal in my hand,
Months of preparation,
mentally, physically, loaded brain...
Well prepared I was for this judgement day
A little over confident, perhaps....
In the life of a Phd candidate
This is the true battle of Academia
Whether you'd be at the top
or you would be shot dead
The honorable Panels will decide...
The moment you utter a sentence or two..
Continuous attacks from the left and right
endlessly..... till you have your head
buried in the ground
Again you wake up and strike again
This is your war....
Defense is war.. the war of life
the moment of truth
the battle of a doctorate student everywhere
Research Objectives, Research Questions,
The Signification of research
and the Implication, the contribution of this study
SO WHAT?
One by one was being detailed, scrutinized and questioned
Dear panels,please be kind
Was patiently coping with your brutal attacks
Head held low, head held high...
Nearly had a stroke,
But I refused to die...
Thank you dear panels,
my courteous smile for you...
I'd be back,
You'd see me again,
When I counter attack....
Searching through his bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
Nothing.
With the rage, I cut into his chest.
I want his heart, for safety and comfort.
I rip it out and cradle it
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.
You say I am a beast?
Look at you, I know you have done sins.
I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and death.
I just don't know what happened to that little girl you had once seen.
Laughing, playing...
Now crying and imbalanced.
I have made a doll.
It has the heart that I cradled
It looks just like him.
He talks to me.
Calls me "Little Dove"
At night 'he' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
That wretched smile drives me insane.
His a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting his bloody doll like hand on my pale white cheek.
Killing me with his poisoned kiss.
I am paralyzed in time.
I love him ever so.
He says to me that me can make me a world of blood.
He makes me dream of haunted things.
Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely.
Blood...
I am happy that he can make my world come true.
I love that I am crazy, because he makes me feel better.
I love you, demon of my dreams.
you'll never see this
and i don't mind so much
your thoughts are misguided
like your hands are to my flesh
your brilliance should not be taken as arrogance
but also not as ignorance
too smart for your own good
allow yourself to not think for awhile
i'd like for you to let yourself be
alongside me would be ever more splendid
you make me feel like i haven't in awhile
wish i knew what it all meant
your smile ignited something inside
that i have no idea how to interpret
what to do with these feelings
leave them out of the game, in the dugout
i suppose.
We are such opposites, you and I
Yet somehow we've woven ourselves into this web
You are a tsunami
Yet I am simply the ebb
Differences so evident, it's almost insulting
Your ink-stained arms push up against my bare, ivory chest
You are so clearly you
While I am only somewhat me, at best
So many places you've been
While I've been sitting here all the while
Circumstances should have told us both "No!"
But that word disappears completely as you smile
So much knowledge I've gained
While you don't bother with reading
You are always content with the simplest things
But I yearn immensely for things I'm not really needing
Your smoke-filled room meets my untouched lungs
Your devilish ways engulf my virgin essence
We can only meet briefly, and so rarely it feels
Your absence is like Christmas without presents
I snicker when you sigh, laugh when you cry
I'm through with rest, yet you sit as I stand
I lay myself down just as you rise
My ghostly form next to your harsh skin, perfectly tanned
Your breast was hollow once
Long before me and you, we, became us
But mine was overflowing with love
That the Heavens knew was meant for you, I undoubtedly trust
They, all of them out there, may not understand
Your roughness and ruggedness holding my soft and clean hands
But I do not care about their worries or remarks
Because we are separate people, but one in our hearts
