What is equality?
But an eight letter word,
Shot down by pathetic attempt to make it real.
What is used?
Who can stop the ominously eerie sky from encroaching on a one beautiful legend?
Left behind to face dispair,
Constant thoughts and motions releasing explicit actions and words for the world to see.
Gaze upon the broken,
Push the weak,
Stomp on the hopeless.
Watch them break and shatter one last time.
Disintegrating dust gets lost in the wind,
Slowly moving to the back of a faded memory.
Just another face lost to the long forgotten sorrow.

My hands are kerosene,

igniting everything they touch.

Everything I cherish crumbles

to ash.

I should come with a warning label-

"Beware, highly unstable and capable of mass destruction"

I once was ruined,

and now I ruin.

"Attention: Run as fast as you fucking can"

I am sinking, and I am grabbing at any hand

that I can pull down with me.

I will try to climb your walls,

and you will need to build them higher.

Do not be fooled by my tender facade;

I am capable of annihilation.

Hide your heart from my gentle hands,

for it will shatter when I drop it.

Do not think I mean harm,

I will have the best of intentions.

With my best attempt at love,

you will crumble to ash in my kerosene hands.

You were mine before you were born.  You belonged to me.  Before your daddy and I shared a cherry coke at the dollar theater.  Before I said yes.  To anything.  To everything.  You were mine.  And I held you for the first time at 2:38am.  Your face scrunched and red.  Still the nurses said:

“She is so beautiful.”

Even before then,

You were mine.

And your pain, your struggles, your burdens would be mine.  To carry.  To burry.  I lift and will lift the world for you, baby girl.  Put you to sleep.  Hold you as you weep.  For that boy who will shatter your heart to pieces.  I will pull the hair from your cheeks, wet with your tears.  As you cry to me that love, “Mom, love isn’t real.”

And I’ll smile and tell you “one bad apple doesn’t really spoil the bunch.”  I’ll smile and I’ll say “I know that much” – because I was there too.  Before the flat cherry cokes and your daddy’s corny little jokes.  Love is as real and true as I am me and you are you.  And it was here.  You were here.  Before you even existed.  You were mine, growing in my heart.  

Love was mine, growing in my heart.

And before you fall asleep in your bed, soon after the tears have all been shed. I will tell you this: “I have learned to keep my heart tender.  To love wisely; but know when to surrender.  The way I surrendered with you.  I have learned to claim love as my own.  And your love, baby girl, is the best thing I’ve ever known.”

You have always been mine.

There are loves that can create a new universe, there are
loves that would fill outer space
where stars are just drops of mango juice
and every person you wish wrote poems about you, does.

A macrocosm so vast that
tragedy is only powder and cold coffee does not break
my heart anymore, sadness does not fit in

an oven but float, phantom-esque, in black air
no longer pollution
that slowly asphyxiates, hardly discernible in our palms of
tangible love. You will not have to tell anyone that you
love me because the whole world is our bedroom.

I felt I was dangerous the first time
you tried to fuck me, like I would be too tight
and shatter every last porcelain bone under your skin.

Like my body was a vacuum sucking you in
unable to escape, inland something other than a stranger.
Instead, we became the cosmos
pouring fruit-juice-stars on the unlucky and the unloved.

I am a bad man that does good things.
"It's only a little bit illegal" I say,
But I know that's a lie.

But I'd give you attention
if you needed my time.

Alas, my mind sighs:
Who am I?


We are all still children inside,
That is a truth you cannot deny.
Nowadays I can't decide.

The world is so big sometimes
that things get hard to define.

Don't you ever think to yourself:
I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.


All I know now is
I will shatter the sky.
And Atlas will tremble
as the Elysian eye darkens
and casts it's gaze upon the stars.

Flowers build the summer air
Flowers bring untold despair
Flowers in the sun do grow
Shatter when the north winds blow
Flowers love not you, nor me
But lust for all the honey bees
Working in their busy way
To glut on all the summer days.

But when the bees are all but done
And Autumn leaves block out the Sun
Who's that in their final hour?
Not you or me-
Our friends, the flowers.

Let. me.
I’m going. to. do it.
I’m going to rip every painstaking petal from my eye
I wont be okay. if the idealization kills the love. I feel
Im going to smash. And. Mangle.
These rose tinted glasses
Over this, Concrete, corner.
Don’t care who’s going to look. and judge
I am the victim
No longer will I look through a pink vial of self possessed poison
No longer will I escape true unconditional love
If there was, a Satan. this would be his game
His oracle.
Of divination.
Well. I said. fuck this, I’m not going to believe in its dictation
I’m going to be. my own salvation
From its pink. Innocent. coloration
I’m going to pull, pluck, and wrench
These petals from my eye lids
It’s going to be a painfully beautiful process
Don’t be.
Deceived.
So sweet. how could it. lead you to do harm?
When. in. actuality. it will end up twisting behind my very arms!
No, I wont collaborate to torment this feeling deep inside!
Inanimate object,
Objectifying. my love.
Going to shatter this wall. that you build.
Between us.
Gonna kill this in my fury.
You separate me from my beautiful reality.
Reality, is much more beautiful. than you and I. can conceive!

It’s the third of April and I was there
Sitting still, wondering
Observing the lifeless environment that surrounds me
And I simply couldn’t help but think
How did it all come to this
And why

It was exactly a year ago, during April, too
A blossoming sense of the beginning of new life
Little did I know
There was something even more beautiful than the flowers and trees
Something more serene than the feeling of crisp air and bright yellow sunlight
Little did I know that such a lively season
Was above, beyond, and even better than the liveliest things combined

Within three months after, it was mid July
And by then things only got more astounding
“Breath taking”, even
I’ve come to known this cheerful atmosphere’s smiles
Laughs, and confidence, and everything that makes it the amazing familiarity within me
And it was charming and it was lovable
Just like the warm breeze and chilly nights
What a wonderful thing to learn true happiness from the happiest surrounding itself
At this point all it ever was, was everything but sorrowful

Oh and November rolled around
And as leaves started to hit the bottom
Trees started to give up, and flowers started to disappear
So did it
So did it
This vicinity, of all the happiest vibes
The sweet turned to bitter
Just as the blossoms turned to gloom
It fell into a million little pieces
And all they could do was shatter it even more
And all they could blame was itself
All they could judge was nothing but the setting
And the thing that was once like sunshine
Turned into ice cold
Who would’ve guessed
That the happy atmosphere they once knew
Was this dark hole sucking itself into it
And who would’ve guessed
That the strongest, too, break

It was February and
It was the most similar thing to an incomplete thought of train
It was February
And everything was completely gone
The fragrance of what were once the roses
The scenery of what were once the moving lakes
The warmth of all the components of happiness
Its warmth
They were gone too
Too soon, and too fast

And now it’s the fourth of April
I’m still here I’m still rationalizing
I’m still thinking over
Onto why
Why am I the only one left
Is it really fair to leave me the same
Just when everything else had changed

-djs

this is the last hour
this is hearts beating with such magnitude they could shatter glass
this is clocks racing flinging time and present into the future and past
this is euphoria and firework explosions
this is a kiss at the perfect moment
life or death
most preferably life

this is the final race