The one who PRAYS only for PRAISE
will never RAISE to see the RAYS
just a ROLE to help you ROLL
falling in the WHOLE damned HOLE
you will WAIT to feel the WEIGHT
a slow GAIT toward the GATE
you say No to what you say you KNOW
then it's "OH no you still OWE"
Just to say I love you
Never seems enough.
I've said it so many times
I am afraid you won't understand
What I really mean when I say it.
How can so much feeling
So much adoration possibly fit into
Those three words.
But until I find some other
Way of saying what I feel, then
"I Love You" will have to do.
So no matter how many times I say it
Never take it lightly. For you are my life,
And my only Love.
I love you now more
Then ever before.
Someday we will have DJs at funerals.
I should know. I DJ'd a wedding once.
Well I shan't say I DJ'd the wedding.
I merely pressed play on the tiny boom box (SONY) and here comes the bride.
Twas a beautiful wedding.
A black wedding.
The bride was my first cousin Tamara.
Yes the whole thing was beautiful.
Stop it already.
A scant 4 years later I attended her death.
A rainy morning.
the morning sun not up.
I have a photograph taken July 27, 2003 maybe!
My brother her sister and I on a Carribean cruise. I'm sticking a tongue out. I was mad at the fine Bahamian wearing fake dreads making money by posing for photos for the non-natives. But if you bypass my tongue in the photograph you can see her. You can see the foursome of us smiling with some random Bahamian fake dread.
If you look slightly left in the photograph you can see her smile.
Her joie de vivre.
A moment if you will allow me. Away from the boat the Bahamian boys would not leave her alone. They would whistle, catcall, stare and menace. But she was my family. She was my cousin. Her protector and her friend. Those boys' eyes would follow us. But when I held her hand down the boardwalk they did not dare come within punching distance.
I will refrain from her beauty.
Her ability to tell me to 'shut the fuck up' with only a glance.
Somewhere buried I have the video of her wedding.
I can't watch it anymore but perhaps I should.
I need to see her happy again.
Beautiful again and
Having you in my life...
Is a Beautiful feeling...
You make me feel
With all that you say
And all that you do...
And today all I want to say is...
You are the one
And no matter what
I will forever keep Loving You!
remember looking back at youngin’ days and saying, “i never thought we would end up together”
remember “silly, silly stupid me” she who’s not a bit sensical, i think you say you’re dense on purpose
remember quiet mouths and loud laughs, i talk my way out while you chew me out
remember the contempt face, i see it so much i can mock it, and it’s a habit
remember that neither of us win, until the last person gets the word
remember not to remember all of the good, do that and it’s as good as prozac
Love me for who I am
not who you want me to be.
Love the girl I am
That's deep inside of me.
Love the way I whisper,
When I call out your name.
Love the way I hold on tight,
When I'm holding your hand.
Love the way my smile,
Can light up any room.
Love me when I sing a song,
and it's slightly out of tune.
Love me on my good days,
And all the bad days too.
Love me even if
There are days I'm mad at you.
Love the way I kiss you,
When we say "Good-bye."
Love me when I'm feeling sad
And I only want to cry.
Love the way I look
When I wear your favorite dress.
Love me for being the only one,
Who can bring out your best.
Love the way I search for you,
When we're in a crowded room.
Love me when I need my space,
And I need to be alone.
Love the way I've loved you,
For so many of these years.
Love me most of all,
For always being here.
Love all of the little things
For in time you will see.
All of these little things,
Are the best part of me.
days are spinning by and i think this is what remission feels like
i wish i could write
but this is all that i feel.
constantly losing battles is so hard
we play a losing game
i long for the person i used to be
or is this the person i’ve always been?
hold flowers between your fingers and think long and hard about something
something that you want real real real bad
maybe it’ll come true
so full of pain trying to be subtle i should be bleeding
word choice alone
should have given you a clue
and the consistent undertone of raw pure unadulterated angst and bitter humor
that isn’t funny at all.
Adventures In Good Deeds
i helped pick up the trash and i thought about volunteering at a soup kitchen
if only i could find the on switch
5 Hour Energy .
am i decent enough for one word biographies?
do i hold enough presence for silence?
can i afford to not begin my sentences with sorry?
i am barley a person
just a body with good organs
and no license to complain
“ma’am kindly shut the fuck up no one cares.”
that’s what they’ll say to me i’m sure
the thought police
who hate me and i don’t feel anything towards them
because i am nothing but apathy and stupidity
i don’t deserve anything
not joy or bad i don’t deserve either
not because i’m neutral but because i’ve never done anything to feel anything
not that i am undeserving of feeling the bad things
but there has been nothing in my existence to make me feel
spoiled brat woes and hearts sealed with classical silver duct tape
maybe a dash of pepper on a delicious meal that had no need for pepper
on the dot
sunday’s for church where the atheist goes because he fears and dreams
When you thought it was all over
You begin to feel it grasp on
an irrevocable feeling -
creeping out from the depths of past's shadow's
blinded from the new found light
to your comforting warmth
guided from the beating of your heart
a place it once called home
the warmth has changed
the feeling slips away-
back to the shadows, to remain a memory
for the chance of the warmth
to burn into a monumental fire
They say that humans are compassionate and loving creatures, with a wide variety of emotions. Yet they also say humans are the most feared and horrible creatures on this planet. And all of these things were yet said by humans. What most people don’t say or tend to notice is that humans are full of oxymorons, hypocrisys, and failure. That may sound negative but it isn’t. If humans weren’t flawed then we wouldn’t be humans right? I believe those two most common perceptions of humans come from the two most commonly perceived personality types present in humans. You have the super happy-go-lucky type who believes the world is perfect and pure and no one wants to hurt each other. And then you have the extremely hateful cynical type. The people who have been hurt and stepped on and abused and feel they have every right to hate the world. But I think these two extremes are quite unfair to the majority of the population that is in the middle grey area. The reality is that the world is a mystery and treats every human differently with different experiences, just as all humans are different from each other. It’s quite beautiful, that grey area. You never really know what’s going to happen in the middle and its exciting.
Tell me how to hold you
Tell me how to care
Please, confide in me
Your secrets wont you share?
Don't just walk away
I can see the pain in your eyes
Don't say you're okay
Stop feeding me lies
I see the way they treat you
You walk with your head hung low
You're sweating and you're shaking
You think I don't know?
I want to stop the hurting
I want to end your grief
You're not worthless
Trust in my belief
Your smile dazzles in any lighting
You're always gentle with your touch
You're amazing to me
I hope that's not too much
I want to make you happy
I want to make you dance
I want you to live
And this may be my last chance
Sing with me to the heavens
Let's close our eyes with prayer
And when I wake up tomorrow
I really hope you're there