Are you aware of how many times in a day I hear the phrase kill yourself or myself used?
I constantly hear it from my peers, friends, teachers, authority figures, family, and even strangers.
It's used in math class when kids complain about the workload.
And again when the teachers warn us to be safe in gym class.
It's said by my peers to kids over the internet in hopes they'll feel as terrible as they do.
Used when my family tell stories of embarrassment.
One may argue why it's such a big deal and this is what I'll tell you:
Suicide is not a joke; it's not something to casually throw around.
It's someones life forever gone and many life's changed because of it.
That's the big deal.
It's not okay to say "This makes me want to kill myself!"
or "You should just kill yourself!"
nor is it okay to say "Are you trying to kill yourself?"
I refuse to believe it is a part of modern day language.
Currently the Oxford English dictionary has approximately 220,000 words in it.
That means there's no excuse to use those words the way they are currently being used when you have that many options.
And if I have to ask one favour, it's to respect mental illness and the deaths every year that happen because of it.
Nearly 1 million people across the world die by suicide each year. That's 1 death every forty seconds.
All of whom pass away because of this have family and friends grieving.
Saying that is not only offensive but can be triggering to those around you.
It's not okay and there is no longer an excuse.
Take it out of your vocabulary.
They tell me
Don't bottle it up
Let it all out
Talk to someone
It's for your own benefit
So you can be happy
Do it for yourself
How can I pour my feelings
Into rusted cups with jammed lids
How mustn't I bottle it all up
If I spill it all, you won't be there to mop up
So tell me how!
How can I talk to someone
When nobody is listening
Who will listen to me
And give me a chance to be happy
If no one is willing to accept my sadness
There once was a woman so gorgeous so frail,
Who never removed her wedding day veil.
She sat in her home and smiled and wept,
And clung to her breast a photo she kept.
This photo was taken of her most betrothed,
A man who she loved, and man who she loathed.
A man with a beautiful porcelain smile,
A man who left her alone at the aisle.
So long story short she chopped him in slices,
And used him quite literally to cure her own vices.
A piece for brunch, lunch, and more,
A piece for the Wilsons who moved in next door.
Sorry to say there's no message to teach,
No metaphor here or limerick to preach.
This is a story that cures no desires,
A story with few (if any) admirers.
The raven looms the scourged dead sky
And flies by night to summer high
To wisp what to a widowed brew
You think that's art?
Alone the raven watches steed
And passes plainly soft; meed
To hallow falls and morning dew
That's art as well?
My soul is that of burning ember
Subtle sparks to Fall September
I have not chance what claims I do
I'll say it again.
I tossed that out in miniature times
Those seemingly fantastic rhymes
Yet weeks and nights you “artists” plead
For an ounce of something, not just weed.
I'll shit some rhymes and call it art
It's painful cause you're not that smart.
You aren't unique and full of might
So let us real artists take flight.
He sat in the corner, head tilted sideways
“What's in my Pie, May?”
May said, “Nothing dear”
Pie on the pie tray
Delicious Pie for Pi Day.
“This pie tastes like...Old Bay”
“What'd you say?”
“Oh for shame, it's still the same.”
“Of course it is!”
May was a criminal on that day.
Ty has died
Died from Pie
Pi Day Pie
But May, that day, was found to say
“I came home from work and found him this way!”
Fork in hand, napkin over tie, Ty was ready to enjoy some pie.
“Pie didn't kill Ty”
Covers her eyes.
The cloths are dry
Birds in the sky
Just another day, oh why oh why?
But May is sly
She made that pie
She made that pie to make Ty die.
He said he loved me
But never got a chance to prove
She proved she loved me
But never got a chance to say it
He left and then came back
But when he did he always ask me about me
She was always by my side
But she never really asked me about me
We are a family and sometimes it's hard to decide
I love both of them
But its hard to decide
One of them left
the last time I saw him
But he never came back
There is one man
He was the most special man of all
He was always there
He never left even when I pushed him away
He proved it and never stop saying it
When the sun came out
He told be "Here is your gift"
It was a new day
When the sun came down
He told me "Here is your peace"
And I rested all night long
My father left
But Jesus came
My mother never asked
But Jesus already knew
I cant judge him for what he did
Because I'm not perfect
I love them both and I wont choose
But I will do s pray
Equally for both
Not so that they ask for forgiveness
But so that they forgive themselves
So that they understand that he died
On a Cross
Everything in this world
I've been screwing up
I can't get it right
And I lack any luck
I need to stop now
And through the only way I know how
A blade to my skin
That started everything
But can also make it end
Don't tell me to stop
Just tell me to go
That's what I love
And fear the most
But I'm not
But that's nothing new
I've died a thousand times in my head
And multiply that by two
So it's time to say goodbye
To this world I hate so much
It's time to say hello
To whatever comes after us
See I mess up everything
Everything I love
So it's best to just end it now
And feel no pain at all.
i tell people
i don't have much to say
but the truth is
i have a lot of things to talk about
but i don't know how to say them
because i've got a lot on my mind
and i know no one cares.
Monitoring your life
Ever beat, body weak
Your heart struggled to keep you alive
This shouldn't come as a shock
We've known for months
I knew you weren't here anymore
Simply existing physically
Your body wiped clean of all mental capability
Like an ocean tide batters the shore, you were diminishing
Until there was nothing else to take
Reminiscing back to the signs we ignored foolishly
Never thinking it was more than a slight lapse of memory
From a call to confirm your location
To forgetting the youngest generation
Temporary confusion faded to permanent loss
As you laid unconscious
The mask on your face providing oxygen
If you could hear me
Were you silently screaming for me to shut up so you could rest
Knowing you , you were concerned with my school and why I was at the hospital instead
Did you remember my name?
Could you conjure up my face?
Behind those delicate eyelids that hadn't done more than fluttered in days?
Remember reading to me as I say on your knee?
How we'd admire nature with a hand full of bird seed?
I though I'd accepted the fact you were gone
When we first suspected the disease
The one I wish was never created, never existed, that erased my existence from your mind indefinitely
As I stared at your face, peacefully sedated, I felt a twinge of pain
How is it this woman I knew to be so strong
Might as well have had fragile stamped on her face
A being so loving
Was now so faint
Like a painting left in the rain
Your colors had began to fade
Until they were white
White like the sheets, the walls, and the floor
The absence of life that exists behind hospital doors
Your body slowly tried to quit
Hard headed as always . You said not yet
So frail you held on to the little life you had left
Until Heaven loosened your hold
I find solace knowing you're in a better place
Where you can remember lived one's names
Watching over us in the paths we take
I'm resigned now to the fact you had to go
But as long as you could
You made God wait
I watched you fall out of love.
Slowly, then gradually,
then all at once.
Only now am I realizing it;
everything about you drifted
into a space I could no longer reach.
I watched as your eyes changed with the seasons -
your vibrant summer glance
turned cold and gloomy with the autumn breeze.
Your hands, once warm and tight,
loosened with your smile.
It was no longer firm and gleaming,
but rather forced in a dead straight line
laced with words so harsh they mimicked the sharpness of
And your laugh,
oh that laugh,
no longer echoed in my mind with such simplicity;
never was it once again renewed or reheard,
just replayed over
before it faded backwards through my ears,
past my skull,
to the hairs on my neck
which no longer showed any signs of your lips.
Sincere sighs of wonder
became solid sighs of impatience.
Slowly, but surely,
your tired brown eyes and the heaviness of your stride,
said everything you didn't have to say.
Slowly, but surely,
your stare became dull
and your embrace no longer wrapped me with comfort.
Slowly, but surely,
your lips no longer tasted of fresh mint love,
that I memorized oh so well.
There was always too much on the line,
and even though I tried
and hold onto something,
I always came up empty
like the void in my chest that grew
every single time
I watched you fall out of love