up all night, we sleep all day.
this is all but child's play.
it's not easy, two be one,
singing singing, song is sung.
laughing laughing until we cry,
kissing kissing as we sigh.
"The lights are blinding," so I say.
You turn them off they go away.
It won't stop the sun from shining
With it comes another day.
Kissing hugging, two are one.
Sleeping sleeping, rising sun.
"No one will love you as much as I do"
The thought keeps ringing in my head
Alongside the church bells that I once heard while looking into your eyes
"Don't be a fool", I say to myself
Breathing heavily, anxious as all hell
"No one will ever love you as much, and you know it"
But why not?
Why can't someone else love me as much?
Should I just settle for him because I don't think it's possible for anyone else to feel this way about me?
I don't feel for him the way that I should
The way that I used to
The way that I want
Why must need overcast want?
Why must love be so black and white, rigid and confusing?
I've always begged for his answer
But now I'm wishing I had just let it be.
She said its easy as pie
Just do it right and no one will know
But as I looked down
At his half sunken face
I thought to myself
Its easier said then done
And as I bent down
To grab his cold pale ankles
A funny thought came to my head
Just last month I saw him and said
You are one in a million
The only one in the world
But as secrets slowly creped out
And as gossip spread
One girl came before me
"You know what they say," she rasped
Her lips curled as she glared
"The good ones never stay long."
And as her sharp words cut through me
I tried to keep my bleeding heart together
I ran as fast as I could back to my home
Right back to my room
I was down in the dumps
Felt used and unloved
And as I heard his hand touch the handle
I stood in guard
And waited for his last words
"I will not have my heart broken again," said I
And at last, as I stood over his crimson body
She strolled right in
With that same evil smile
I felt cut and dried
And it was all my fault
With nothing I could do
And as I covered his stone body
With the earths damp dirt
I thought to myself
He was one in a million
The only one in the world
It hurts that you still don't get what it is that I need , even after I spell it out for you.
Why do you make it so hard for us to work, with your selfishness and lack of interest in the things I do.
I just don't even wanna
Look at ya face.
I try to be there for you with anything you need, but for the things I ask of you, not even a backward glance.
Over and over we argue about theses issues, each time you vow a change if I give a second chance.
But right now I don't
Wanna look at ya face.
It is hard when a person that you love with all your heart is also the one that fills you with endless rage.
They say anything that is worth having is worth fighting for, but more often I wonder if we can survive after the "honeymoon stage".
Cause at this moment I don't
Wanna look at ya face
Love is a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions. Some times we need to go all in and suck up the fact that we're scared and just hold on tight. Other times we need to realize it is just better to sit this one out.
Searching through his bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
With the rage, I cut into his chest.
I want his heart, for safety and comfort.
I rip it out and cradle it
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.
You say I am a beast?
Look at you, I know you have done sins.
I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and death.
I just don't know what happened to that little girl you had once seen.
Now crying and imbalanced.
I have made a doll.
It has the heart that I cradled
It looks just like him.
He talks to me.
Calls me "Little Dove"
At night 'he' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
That wretched smile drives me insane.
His a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting his bloody doll like hand on my pale white cheek.
Killing me with his poisoned kiss.
I am paralyzed in time.
I love him ever so.
He says to me that me can make me a world of blood.
He makes me dream of haunted things.
Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely.
I am happy that he can make my world come true.
I love that I am crazy, because he makes me feel better.
I love you Aeryck.
Hot muzzle smell
I will teach you
A brand new spell
It will make you whole again
She tastes like morning dew
Lips a deep red hue
He licks her neck again
Drink from the bottom shelf
Drinking to your health
God twists the knife again
What else can I say?
Et tu, Brute?
Sing songs to the king
Sad in a haze of wine
He walks in the garden
Beneath his breath
Golden seraphim statues
Dance for a sad king
He twists his ring
Then there on the roof
A woman bathing
She hums his favorite tune
Beneath the moon
this fork in the road meets me
take the left or turn to the right
the one less travelled or the one worn down
i'm just glad that the choice is mine
i'm just glad to be standing here
so what if this should be the end?
if i could call on inspiration any time i want
this might not be the end of my journey
if i could wring out all that has been encased deep within my heart
this might not be the demise of my determination
i hope you can see that some day
maybe i have come to the limit of myself
you wanted to see me reach ever higher
but i've already got more
more than what i could have ever wished for
you say this cannot be the end of my time
but this is what i have to say
i've borrowed more than what i've been promised
i've been given a lifetime and two
where all that i've got is more than what i have ever needed
and who is to say that i haven't lived at all
when all that i've ever done is what i wanted
and certainly, nothing less
Almost lost my fingers
trying to get my pitbull
to let go of a yorkie’s
neck. Never try to grab
a pitbull by his teeth,
when his jaw
He won’t let go.
My dogs eyes, somewhere else,
the little dogs eyes, somewhere
else, everyone grabbing &
shouting, some guy wedging
a wrench between his teeth,
(I thought he was going to
stab him), me digging my
own hands into his teeth,
trying in vein to release
the effortless death grip…
Following two minutes
of panic at the dog park,
some old queens lady, (70),
came running over to
dump her Budweiser
in his eyes. Her straw
& paper bag fell into
& my fingers bloodied
his drunken fur as I
pulled him into a corner.
The screaming girls finally stopped
& the owner and I looked at each other,
both our eyes as big as our dog’s, speechless
searching for who will move first, who to let go
and who will hold on in sheer panic, but us both
so filled with horror, we just stared and felt each
other’s fear, meeting in a school-white room of humility,
until we both say “I am sorry, man” and explain that our dog
was the one to blame, and should not have acted in such a surprising
manner. Afterwards I bought the old queens lady a beer, and she admitted
she knew what to do because her friend’s pitbull hopped a fence and latched
to the chest of a larger dog, ripping skin through to ribs when pulled apart.
We happened to run into that same friend on
the other side of the park, and when the old lady asked
she grabbed and held one of the gold crosses
around her neck & said she did not want to talk about it.
Then she said a prayer in Spanish and gave me a kind smile.
Due to injuries,
punctures, bruises & swelling,
I am forced to write this poem
without middle fingers. Every
now and then
until I realize the keyboard
has become slippery.
And what bad luck
for such hands:
was the day
all of my
I have the right to remain silent.
Anything I say can and will be used against me.
When asked about my feelings toward you.
I say nothing because I might be accused of using you.
But my heart.
My mind stays centered on you.
I have the right to bare arms.
But if I reach out for you I might set off an alarm.
Because my love stays ready and willing to love you.
So others guess and speculate because I hadn't admitted your love makes me weak.
I seem to pass time in a daydream,
Waiting for the hour to pass, the day to end, the night to be over
My movements drift by as smoke
My mind, is always on you.
They poster their images in the foreground
And try to distract me and my thoughts
But you're always there, always.
They feed on sadness and loneliness, and I find it hard to fight
But the never ending struggle adds beauty to our love
And perseverance to my cause.
You complete me
As if we were destined, mind mates as it were
I feel invincible when my mind allows your entering
And I save the strength of our union when they rip you from my thoughts.
In time I know we will be together
We will live out the future I have envisioned a thousand times.
I told you, mi amor, I will never stop loving you
And that is set in stone
But there is so much more to say
And I've yet to find all the words
I promise to you our future, our family
I vow to you that I will always try to be the best me
I swear to you I will never give up.
I will never give in.
They will never have me.
I am yours.