You will always follow me
Like melting canyon walls
Grown of glass
Forever folding inward
At my back.
In my mind;
Even when the rain clears up
You still stir
Where heat still settles
In the South
The sun stole every sip
Slurped up every drop
From every pore
In my thinned body.
You almost killed me.
I suppose-Even then-You tried
To save me
Hives across my body:
Holding aquifer pockets of your own blood.
You tried to warn me
With swollen, itchy
My fingers burned,
But I went to sleep.
Awakened with delusion
You kicked at the curve
Of my knee
With only pain running through my bedrock veins.
You left me,
With white running down my face.
You showed me how much mama loves me
Bent over my body
With her own salty piece of you
Falling in my face.
I could no longer hold you
No matter how much I longed to.
Mama took me to you.
Again, like glass on a November morning you sent ice through my blue blood and back to my heart.
Until you brought me conscious.
Twice mama had taken me to you
And on the first I'd fallen in love.
Hooked to an EKG
They pulled tubes of my blood from body
My eyes rolled back to when we met;
Weakened, I held only a blurred memory
Of three years ago
When you carried me over your muddied body,
Still with softened white ripples,
And warmed- no matter how far upstream- by July.
It was there
Touching the silk of your skin
With sun on my chest
And life at my back
That I promised
I'd loved you.
I leave my almost daydream.
In my double vision
I see eight
With four pairs of scrubs
One set black
Then Navy blue.
You sink back into my filtered memory
Holding tight subconsciously.
An IV now in my right arm
I ask what you are
And they say
Moms hand comes off my back
I've stopped sweating
She leads-You led
My head back
I wait an hour
The shivers subside
My head falls to the right
I watch you drip
As I drift.
I awaken then
The objects in front of me now follow in suit with my eyes
Their image no longer drags behind them
The way things do with five drinks on a bar stool.
I look to momma
Beside me and at my foot.
I drop my head to the right again
To see your slow drip;
I never knew how much I needed you
In my mechanical bed
With my mama clutching my hand
And you clutching my arm.
It was then that I gave you my second promise;
I was going to save you too.
This ring in my pocket
Feels heavier the closer I get
My legs feel like led
My vision is fuzzy
I see little white dots
My heart is racing
I see you standing there
I walk up and hug you
Give you a kiss
And say can i ask you something
You say of course
I pull out the ring
Get on one knee
Open the box
And say s*a s**n
Make me the happiest man alive
You look at me
If I met you again tomorrow
I would point to the sun and say:
I drew that for you
wrinkled in the rain.
But would you find me strange?
Would you trace love into my palm?
Tug on me to tug on you,
Arms and fingertips, skin and muscles
Made electric elastic between us?
Or would you stand…
Awkward…ha ha… smile and
Get the hell out of there?
Quickly too, on bouncy toes
Leaving poor me
No choice but to chase you down,
Squeeze your shoulders and
Show you the future
In my eyes
It's the morning,
a smile upon my face
You're on my mind and
there are butterflies
all around this place
I wanna call you but I'm running out of things to say
this is how it is, it's how it's gonna stay
I'm heart struck in nearly every way
and this is
how I feel almost everyday
and when I
see you I don't know what to say
heart struck in nearly every way
There was never a set day
We really didn’t say goodbye
The day you moved away
Was the day my heart had died
Time is my enemy
An enemy I cannot kill
Yet the day we met each other
Time, for a moment, seemed to stand still
To our first embrace
To a once in a lifetime kiss
From your smile and your laugh,
It’s our time together ill truly miss
The songs say it right you know
I’d do it all just to be…
Even form a mere moment or two
For it to be us, just you and me
It’s an act of selfishness
To want so much from you
Some may say I’m greedy
I don’t know what else I can do
I’ve written you letters,
Letter and poems you will never read
for the true love we had
Signed just for you, your Ashlie
You may never ever read this
You might never know how I feel
You may never quite understand
How my love love for you was real
Though I’ve begged you to come back
We both know it couldn’t be
Distance put up a wall
That even love couldn’t beat
I expected too much
Too much of what you couldn’t give
We let each other finally go
So we may both have the chance to live
You would go your own way
I was forced to go mine
Though, I’m not sure where it is I am going
Or that I am following a straight line
Somewhere deep inside me
And I hope it’s inside you too
That maybe your path is to find me
And mine is again find you
"Hola mi amigo”
That is how they greed us
in the states,
but don’t blame them,
because we are the Latino’s lost twin
Just make sure next time,
they say “Kaselehlie.”
Don’t let them judge the book by its cover,
tell them that within the book,
We have our own identity
We are the proud people of Pohnpei
We are one of many islands
Scattered across the Pacific
In your eyes
We are midnight stars during daylight
But once you get close
You’ll see how bright
Sweet perfumes of island flora
Pouring though your nostrils
Sweet harmonies of birds
Pouring through your ears
Reflections of the sunset
Glittering on top of the ocean
Like diamonds beneath the sunlight
We are coconut milk
Pouring onto breadfruits and fish
Bloodshed of pigs
On banana leaves
We are pig meats
Heated beneath flaming rocks
We are kava roots
Pounded on a flat stone
We are five kings
Competing for power
We are grandmothers
Telling her kids
Stories about our ancestors
We are kids
Gathering in circle
To tell riddles
And playing tag
Under the rain
We are one-
And when the rain
Falls on a sunny day
We understands that
One of us is at peace.
We don’t have any museums
But we see our history through
We don’t have any towers
But we see our lands
From towering mountains
We have seen them burned to ashes
But we survived
And we never left
Nan Madol - mysterious ruins in pohnpei
Kaselehlie - "hello" in pohnpei
This year alone, death has engulfed my soul
like euphoria entraps an addict.
Instead of getting high I'm falling low.
There is pain in my soul and it's not escaping any time soon.
There is a door in my brain that has been locked from the first day I understood somebody I knew died.
Somebody I loved died.
They were gone like a burst of wind we cannot chase, but feel ever so quickly.
It wasn't my grandmother.
Who at age three I loved completely.
By age four there was no more grandmother to help me keep score of life.
She was on the moon for all I knew and now I know better.
From age four to six I didn't question it.
By age seven I forgot, why my grandmother wasn't a forget me not
Why she didn't come back after she disappeared like the flowers do
I could never forgive and forget.
I could never forgive a God for taking family away from over ten little girls.
10 little girls from age three to age sixty
Mother, Sister, Cousin, Grandma, Friend
I could never forget that grandma = moon.
yet, when I look in the dark sky I find myself full of surprise when I think of her under the glow of a white orb.
I'm not so sure because
the reasons have blurred
I'm not so sure
They say white is the color of purity
It is what you see before death,
And that's what makes it frightening
And it's okay
I was young and every day carved its own way.
And I guess after one death people think it's the end, but when a man so great came to his fall my heart went down with him
My heart broke
My mouth moved, but soul never spoke.
He may have been the second death that hit me hard, but
He was the true first.
Then another man took the blunder.
Thee weeks in and he fell under under the spell of unlimited sleep
And I cried
For the injustice of leaving five kids young
And one Twelve
and (another) one (one)
My eyes were waterfalls
Yet, what I lacked to acknowledge was within every waterfall there's a rainbow.
The crystals fell creating puddles of salty pins.
They hurt to step on.
They hurt to think.
They create tiny stab wounds within my heart
Within my brain
Within my faith
They create spaces of emptiness
Spaces of freedom
that i seep from till one day I'll end
Some people say one death is the end.
I say it's the beginning
Why shan't thou answer to me?
Emburse yourself until wholly submerged
Embrace my urges to purge the remnants of sanity
Spilling and screaming profanities at humanity
What a menagerie of trivial drudgery
I'm in misery go ahead and bludgeon me in the noggin
So I can jog it while juggling nails for my coffin
Cancer-ridden addler babbling mad adages
Off is the nearest direction with which to fuck
Dissect my erection with your tongue
Turnt up humping plumpies in the rump
Remember i'm avid for dismembering appendages
chance of success: logistics analysis zero percentage
Superbly superlative and speculative
So fast on adderal I make the Mad Hatter's head spin
Quicker than you can snap
Giving your family heart attacks
Smack your sister in the lap with my member
Springloaded with faux pas' so hot
Make that pussy pop out and say hello like Jack-in-the-Box
Foxy grandmas jaxing off my cock
More fellatio; fucking head explodes
Slathered with double entendres
My passages smooth as laxatives
Brain grinding like acid
Bombastic fat bitches making my dick go flaccid
If nose goes go slow grow low throwing yoloing hoes out windows
This shits simply bonkers
I conquer fear me
Clearly getting dome from your dearly betrothed
Now she bridal and my seeds spiraling virally
Vital signs finalizing
bounce that ass like jello
Swell; I'm in your hair like gel
Now swallow my jollies and don't bother unless you hollerin and giving me dollars
Zealots idol my harlotry
BITCH DON'T HARSH MY MELLOW
SWEAR I'LL MARSH YOUR MALLOWS
Millicent spied a vile thing
Upon her supper plate.
It was dusting off each dotted wing,
And seemed somewhat irate.
As though Millicent had intruded
Upon its peace and calming quiet.
Her Mother said, "Go on, now. Take a bite."
But Millicent did not wish to try it.
It was loathsome, wicked, foul and bent.
A nightmare smush of discontent!
With its smishing glopping glipping goo,
And scrimy as a snot or two.
It watched her watch it
Watch her back,
Then tapped its little toe.
And she was almost sure
The toxic little monster had a glow.
She did not feel it very wise
To have inside the room.
She did not think it very safe
To fit into a spoon.
It had a wry look on its face,
And almost seemed to know the place,
As it spied the ceiling fan and all the floors,
And all the windows, and the doors.
Her Dad ate his up, every one,
And grinned strange as can be.
And Mom, she was already done,
And waiting patiently.
"Go on," She said,
"They're very good.
As good as good can be.
And you should try them,
Yes, you should.
Just like your Dad and me."
Still, it watched her
With its wily eyes,
Like crusty little
And as the wall clock
A troubled sigh,
Millicent shook her
And turned it over
Once, then twice.
"What is this thing?" She finally said.
"It's watching me.
And that's not nice.
It's grinning like a Wikkizitt,
With nitty, bitty zits on it.
It's covered up with knips of mold,
And seems to have an aweful cold.
Maybe this is something new,
Because it's oozing, goozing lots of goo."
"And oh, it smells
Like pimple juice!
The kind that's blue,
And black, and green.
It smells as bad, and even worse
Than any ordinary bean!
And why do all it's eyeballs itch,
And twitch, flitch and twee?
It looks far, far too tarred and worn,
Like a mutant piece of kettle corn.
I can't eat this. No sirreee!
I can't eat things that stare at me."
And, after saying all
She had to say,
Millicent went outside
Copyright © 2013 Richard D. Remler
"Careful. We don't want to learn from this."
~Calvin & Hobbes
I'm always sad lately.
I say I'm ok
But I'm not.
I'm lonely and broken
And I've forgotten how to be happy.