I think of you often.
When I'm driving
or right before bed.
I think of the way things ended..
how we seemed perfect only weeks before,
and then in a flash,
you were taken from me.
I don't think I've ever cried so much
as I did that night.
I couldn't even go to school the next day.
The truth is,
I miss you.
I miss how you were the one
who was always there for me.
You never left,
even when I came crying to you,
even when I ignored you.
I miss the way you push me,
as messed up as that seems.
How we'd spend hours together,
and by the end,
I'd be hunched over;
exhausted and sweating.
How you'd bruise me and make me bleed.
But I craved to touch you,
and feel you in my hands.
I'll never forget every lesson you taught me,
good and bad.
And even though I see you sometimes,
on a Saturday night..
I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy
when you're with other girls.
You have influenced my life
and will always be part of it.
You will be part of my future.
But eventually..
I will lose you again.
And I don't know if I can take that.
Just know that I'll always love you.

Sitting in this yellow room of yours
Planning our great get away of bores
This sunny spring day shines on us
We are holding each other without a fuss
Practicing our secrets before we’re out
Our childhood means nothing now
We got to please leave, get out of here
Make these promised vows and run my dear
She was crazy for me
I was crazy for her
We were crazy for us to be
Hiding under the blankets of your covers
Hanging onto these cliffs of dovers
Swearing to our solemnly prayers
I’ll play with your long golden hairs
For as long as we are to be near
We’ll hold hands together, looking into this mirror
Then run away from all the unsolved problem
Was I ever supposed to know I was going to feel numb?
I’m so tired of these rests
We are just out on our lasting bests
Fantasies are just busy thoughts
Like writing down lists and dots
Just untrue marks and this ten month lie
I just feel like I could die
The sacrifices of this expression
When should I bring this to mention?
What comes next, what will be best?
Is this right, is this wrong?
I’m so tired, so heavy with thinking
I wonder what we’re doing tonight?
And for every night for the next one hundred years.

So there was this baby bird right,

She tried to fly and she fell,

She gave up and never learned tp fly,

That bird....

That bird is me.

Ramblings Part I

Hippy dippy weather men, continued dark all night,
one potato, two potato, keep trying until I get it right,
you roll em up and roll em up, mark em with a 'B',
put em in the oven, the truth shall set you free,

every time I close my eyes, something new goes down,
feel like Mr. Parker, lost in Barrytown,
the caves in Altimira provide historic news,
before Elvis it was Carl, who had those blue suede shoes

ding dong the witch is dead, at least that's what they say,
does wearing garlic necklaces, keep werewolves away,
or am I thinking vampire chicks, who like to play the game,
keep those fangs where they belong, I'm not here to claim

I know I've seen your face before, is must have been in a dream,
I've been in this chase before, a very familiar theme,
the small brown fox, chased a large black bear,
not very smart, unless you really don't care

heart equals love, love equals pain,
anyone who's been in love, has also been insane,
please excuse me , don't mean to intrude,
hope you don't think, that I'm being rude

will the politicians, ever get it right,
they say one thing, then change it overnight,
we keep replacing them, but nothing seems to change,
is there something wrong with me, but doesn't that seem strange

I bet I can keep this up, then again maybe not,
too much Sterlings Merritage, the killer's changed the plot,
now I need to lay it down, say good nite with an angels kiss,
once again I search the sky, look for the abyss

Gomer LePoet...

i wasn't lying
the weeping and wailing started weeks ago
what i didn't predict was the writhing
literal kicks of frustration
i've never been more serious
more foolish
             more desperate
              more liquid

what have you unleashed, you madman?
clearly, it's all your fault for starting this
nudging me right out
of fucking rotation with the sun

i didn't know this other shit was out here!
it's dark...and deep...and consuming
and i want to
f
  a
    l
      l
you come and
obliterate
useless, dead cells from my brain
you return
and
electrify
stealing my oxygen
warping my perception
leaving me breathless
and high as a goddamn kite
and again you come
prowling like a lion
growling
biting
leading
sweet mother of god
and again
and again

you son of a bitch!
leaving me with these memories...
most others i throw away
but these...
i have posted guards
i have reinforced with steel
and song
and repetition
these WILL stay

i'm sure i was but a fly
buzzing around
i can see you swatting
irritated
already forgotten

well, my friend
that was not nice...
to knock me out of rotation
pull me into new space
then pick me up
and firmly plant me back
into the boring old stupid rotation
like nothing ever happened

because of you
i have to forcibly regulate my heartbeat
multiple times a day
these words, for christ's sake
they will not stop
the moment i let them go
i feel others loosely forming
i see glimpses
but there is no respite from this madness

why have you cast a spell on me?
for the love of the light, why do you move like you do?
you know damn well nothing else will suffice
you unleashed a wildness
that will not be contained

i guess i better just
batten down the hatches
with my pen and paper

it's gonna be a long night.