Sweltering insurgencies of electric power chords
Tribal reverberations of skin-stretched drum boards
Rolling and filling; syncopating the noise
Of the tit-less toys
The dick-less boys
Enraptured in the music
The anthem
Of invidious phantoms
My eyes hurt inside and
I want to pull them out and
Scrape out the gunk and rust
that’s behind my self-indulgent perseverance
so I can cry
for the first time in years…

Wrapping my hands around his slender torso
Licking away the paint, the dripping ooze; more so
Than hastening my climax and mordant urges
To bite what emerges
And my mouth purges
The obelisk from underneath
The iron-pierced jester
The voracious molester
My hand tightens as I grip
his throat tighter and
I want to squeeze until his eyes pop
from his sockets and
laugh until I puke against the walls,
watching the bodily fluids mix
like an execrable marinara sauce…

I turned thirty while still being sixteen
The vivid beauty of the world was only in dreams
But none of mine, none that I can recall
Many years have passed since I took the oral fall
Where no one saw
Intransigent need to live
For the snake in my veins hungered for more
So many had their way
until I was limp and sore.
Defamatory fingers of mire and strife
Probing and stretching
My insides
And devilishly comforting
With limpid ambrosia
That’s infected by bilious worms and maggots covered in icing
And fruit

Amatory gauntlets fastened and secured over
Handless limbs that retract under matriculated frictions
That fracture, crack, morph, distort
Emphasize, marginalize
Rationalize, desensitize
Acts of penetration, evasion, moral drainage;
Pieces, bits, chunks, sections, portions, servings;
Arms, legs, eyes, tongues, fingers, toes,
Love, lust, infatuation
Adoration
Boys, girls, women, men,
Angels, demons, monsters, humans
Creators, gods, titans, divas
All extended and limited from the minds that worship
Sanctify, mesmerize, glorify, rectify
While humans eat more, love more, kill more
Than the angels, demons, monsters, and titans
We ponder and cherish
Nevermore, for me
Ever lore, for all
Crows surround
And chaos found.

I had to stop writing for two months because of my leg but then Addy's sister died unexpectedly so I wrote through my pain for her she is my friend from my other writing site.

The Silence of Heaven Speaks
Dedicated to Addy and Kathleen

In Pacific Grove there is a secret cove from these sheltered waters God would draw two out two sisters
To them he would bestow voices like the sea breeze enchanting as you listen cottages grow on wind
Swept bluffs rapture filled their souls this would flow from gifted pens on paper treated saturated
With softest tears from which their combined poetic senses grew like flowers of yellow and orange
With boldest red they fed the readers mind stirred the mist to open on fields that held their words
Like tender plants though fragile when plucked they held wonder that fell from these up rooted
Roots did they not favor the silver crested moon ghostly thoughts that float down streets that have
Amber lights reaching out of windows they instill all open space like eves of houses they hang so straight
They divide the green grass where softest walking is done from the blue sky where flying is devised
Here their words were as white and grey seagulls the completing of a sea side hamlet nestled between
The blues of water and skies and spiking thoughts of greenest pine cover this inland coast completing
The scene that sweetly sings gorgeous is your climes steadfastly each morning they shine not twins
But together by family they are entwined if one should slip away surly the blustering Barbary coast
Would live up to its name but only briefly would pain rule because by the undying spirit of the absent
Would return the one who remained would then be enriched and become a singular voice but now
A soothing is found uncommon because it stands with one foot on earth and one in the great beyond
And from heady sights it shares truths that seem more like dreams but are heavily flushed with stirrings
She has learned from streets that feet excitedly walk on that are transparent gold does not the soul glow
As sunlight but more it carries the reverberations of the very Son of God thus exposed she bows back
Down to earth and sweetly her voice caresses her earth bound sister with riches profound her sister
Too is released to drift among the stars at her beloved sister side as her guide for a season this will be
And then the curtain will rise and they will be forever together without the unevenness of flesh
And spirit they will walk in rapture and be in comfort as if they were clothed in clouded gowns
Weep not little one just believe


There are great nurses and doctors healing our bodies I know some personally this my trying to heal Wounded souls

Conjecturing on the intimate remnants of your heart
surmising on the proper way to dissect its parts
delving into the chasm that holds your most private illusions of grandeur
bewildered by the vast expanses, these weathered lips simply stammer
the complexity of the concept left me stifled, mouth failing to make any attempts at offering kind words
as the reverberations of vocal chords became the only sound we heard
ricocheting off the precipices of your heart's unsurmountable walls
useless like hands digging the sands in fruitless attempts to draw
the full force off the ocean from a shallow hole
I stared at the blueprints of your heart's desires failing to find the control
every route on the schematic
seemed as if inner city traffic
flooded with passengers never fulling knowing when they will reach their destination rightfully so, at the center of your attention
as I sketch out the dimensions
factoring in the time it will take to find the route that leads me back to you
I marvel at the resiliency of your heart, then drive straight through
beyond these hallowed walls lies a future I was destined to reach
I shred these maps, light a match and burn all the blueprints of me...

Everyday after school
Somebody telling you
That they were waiting
For their 'doll', their 'lovely little lady'

Somebody asking you
If the chemistry equations troubled
That such a sweet girl as you
Doesn't need to study

Somebody asking  for
Another close-up of yours
And then commenting on your lips-
'They are small and fat and cute'

Somebody who jokes with you telling you
That you had profuse breasts
That they could make love to you
If you let them, every minute every day

Somebody offering to 'Squeeze your legs'
Since you were tired from day
And then kissing softly
Three long kisses, in your ears

Somebody willing to
Give twenty kids to you
And when you say no, they ask-
"Oh how will I show my love to you then?"

Somebody who'll go to a beach
But not see those bikini babes
Rather, imagine them self
With your beautiful bod

Somebody who's got a voice
Like a real gentleman's, a baritone
A voice that will never command
Only soothe with mildness

Somebody who'll say, "You are timid"
And pronounce it as, "You are dynamite"
The way they say "Turkish"
Makes you laugh your guts off

Somebody sedating you, making you sleep
So that you could dream peacefully
Promising to meet you again the next day
And keeping their promise, always

And even three months later,
You can listen to their voice
To those reverberations in your mind
Those memories hound you

soulful reverberations resonate within my chest.
drowning out and yet magnifying the yearning ache within;
hollow. transparent.
i lie on the floor
as honest and open as you'll ever see me.

it hums like electricity as it pulses through my veins;
infecting my blood and pressing me to the core.
craving to get out,
this song suffocates;
bound within my skin;
my soul is too big for my body.

it's funny how it echoes like there is nothing inside...

so much lies within.

Dishes clang against the sink
Loud reverberations of ceramic against metal

Anger defies the covenant to fight less
Sealed with tears and kisses

Slippery is this stone of hurt
Lumped in her throat

There is no easy atonement
to distract and soothe

Her rant finds no audience
Memories fade of what stoked this fire

Wake me. Shake me. Just embrace me. Let it all unfold.

Tame the pain that boils insane and stand for me to hold.

Rise and run the race you won for I still can't believe

A world exists where you are missed in just the way we grieve.



Shell-shocked. Broken. Clutching tokens proving you were here.

Stretching skin that's wearing thin on hands that pull you near.

Unfair: a word that's too absurd to symbolize the hour.

The moment when your soul escaped and hope lost all its power.



Return. Confirm that love holds firm in proving it can't lose.

I won't submit. I can't acquit the demon of his ruse.

How dare he take it all from me and leave this life asunder?

Ripped apart by apathy of others, I sink under.



No one knew us. No one saw the bond that rubbed the moonlight raw.

The love we held, its flame too bright. The light that left the day in awe.

Hurtful, too were all the truths that you shared just with me.

In doing so, you hid such depth that no two eyes could see.



Memories of all the times your lips formed words that shone

Echo evermore within. Reverberations hone.

They whittle bit by aching bit into the home you dug.

The roots you planted in my heart consume me like a drug.



Ironic, maybe that the reckless torture I should mention

Was one more creature that you conquered, breaking all convention.

Pride is such an empty word compared to what I felt

When you became a woman who could stand where she had knelt.



So this I have: A picture of your ever-gorgeous face.

Lividity I hold cries, "Save the angel he disgraced."

I've nothing else but vestiges of all that we once built.

A laugh. A tear. A broken fear whose sword pierced to the hilt.



Destroying misconceptions that once drove you to protection

We found love among the ashes of rejection.

Thus grasping toward affection, we got lost in misdirection.

Vonda, truly, our bond matches your complexion.



Beauty lies where dreams won't die, and this we'll always cling to.

Sharing minds that defy time and complicate what they knew.

Standing, fighting, life-delighting, wonderful; you opened

Eyes unto a world that showed you you were not quite broken.



Some part of me wished wistfully that I might 'ere have listed

Lines that drew a complicated swath 'round what we'd twisted.

Fingers that beat perfectly in time with songs of meaning.

Singing long into the nights that screamed of fates convening.



No, I think I'll keep the truth that only you and I can know.

The tears I've spilled don't need to find a place for life to grow.

I'm terrified that I can't hold you, see you, catch a glance.

But I love you too much for death to ever have a chance.

Why must I live in a world 
plastered with a facade of sincerity? 
The imitation of promise... 
is only a promise for a broken future. 

I keep my thoughts from spilling 
across pages and from others. 

But my actions cannot be withheld. 

Sleep has become more of a haven for me 
- where the nothing cannot touch me.
 
It never stops... the thought of who I am. 

Am I any different from the rest? 
Am I merely an empty vessel? 
If so the only difference between me 
and the rest is I am well aware of it. 

I stand hollow, but without noise.