x
Do you remember
the last time
you said the words
"I
Love
you"
?
+ + +
I don't
I don't remember
I don't remember
the last time
that I said
"I
Love
you"
I don't remember
when I said it
or to whom
or why
And now I can't escape this
rotting feeling
that this isn't a memory
we should ever out-grow
That this isn't a memory
we should ever out-live
That this isn't a memory
we should ever get
too far away from
Now that I realize it's gone
I feel adrift and lost without it
like a greenhorn just realizing
he's lost sight of shore
for the first time
The sudden realization
that I couldn't remember
that I've lost this memory
that it must've been so long
since I last said it
to anyone
for any reason
that I've lost it completely
sits so alien and unreal in me
That I could've ever lost something
so important
something
that has always just
been there
before
something
that should just be a backdrop
to the rest of my life
now gone
and I didn't even notice it
didn't miss it at all
until now
It's as if I suddenly realized
one wall of my house was missing
exposing us
letting in the whether
and I can't even remember
when it happened
And this is all only preamble
just the lead-in
to the real question
Why?
Why can't I remember?
Why have I forgotten?
Why has it been so long since I last said it?
Why haven't I said it?
Why did I ever stop?
What am I waiting for?
I would rather be a good man,
Than a scholar, any day.
So fuck all of the capitalists,
With their wages of higher pay.
I don't need a massive house,
Or a load of fancy shit.
I only want a simple life,
That is non-materialistic.
You need to learn, that man can't buy,
Some friendship or her love.
And memories are all we take,
When we depart for home above.
While you're out blowing money,
I'll just stick to spending time.
Taking journeys and adventures,
Capturing pictures in my mind.
See all I ever want,
Is a life of love and joy.
And to someday raise a daughter,
Who would someday meet a boy.
I could only be so lucky,
In fact, forever I'd be pleased,
If the boy she someday met,
Resembled younger me.
I know I'm not the greatest,
There's no arguing that.
But, I'll remain a gentle soul,
A true and simple fact.
So, call me a lazy slacker,
Perhaps I'll never strike it rich.
But, I'm always kind and caring,
And, I'll never act a bitch.
You can try to judge me,
And tell me how I'm wrong.
But, this one here is my life,
And I will live it 'til I'm gone.
Remember, even young Lloyd,
Knew that Gabriel rocks.
And he did what he loved,
And he loved to kickbox.
But see, the music and fighting,
Were mere entertainment and sport.
Instead, he pursued love,
From sweet Diane Court.
Now at night I sometimes dream,
To be slightly Dobler-esque.
Learn to strive for what I want,
Then cast aside the rest.
'cause money may try to alter,
The way people act and seem,
But, no currency will ever affect,
The fact that I am me.
The mighty rolling river is my sanctuary
Where the turbulent water reaches its shores
Landscaped by erosion’s rounded river rocks,
Every color and shape transformed by the mysteries within her shoals
Floodwater logs are cut for firewood here
Smoke dried salmon is cured and dried for food
Tyees’ souls join me here, born in quiet spiritual solitude.
Swirling eddies stirring, inspiring conscious universal muse
Water rushes past earth mother's terrestrial islands
Where eagles nest and soar up high
Beavers dam where flocks of geese swim
Blue Heron’s rookery fill trees to the apex of the sky
Head waters birthed in forked mountain high
Waters rise from beneath mother earth
Rapids pass villages plummeting miles and miles.
Gravity’s tug and draw journey to aid the salmon’s Holy birth
I know I’m one with sacred ground
Ancestors spirit's power is present at ease
The pulse of river water's muse
Is the pulse of this mixed-breed
The half-breeds myth, not Indian or White.
“Young buck born with a divided heart!”
We have big ears we hear everything
A step child orphaned, reborn into the spirit's light
The placid harmony of the river's gentle flow
Waters speak a mantra directly to my soul
I grieve the loss of ancestral grounds
Ancient territories pilfered for miles around
Upstream above where the mighty water falls
Landscaping this river's great divide
Cascading walls of water soar and plunge
From silhouettes high and wide
Centuries rivers carved and shaped an ominous path
Fertile valleys were eroded deep and wide by raging waters wrath
This place was graced through those centuries past
My heart's ashes will rest where river waters yearn to pass
Ancient brothers fished with spears from platforms built up high
Hollowed out trees, as paddled canoes, tended fish wheel traps side by side
In quest of the bountiful sacred Salmon, our food sustaining life
I embrace an ancient heritage, our spirit shall remain steadfast...
Mâyašlen yá he íčhiyopteya wakpá ipȟá...
Isákhib mayáŋke.
Harlon Rivers
Lakota note: Coyote was going past the source of the river...he sat next to me...
I once knew a girl who thought death
was easier than living a mess of a life.
Her family was stained with meth,
but I told her she had to put down the knife.
She said she had no purpose, no reason
but I pointed out to her the small, pretty things
and told her emotions and feelings changed like seasons,
and happiness would come with the summer the world brings.
She believed me and started to change her ways.
She was so gorgeous when she smiled.
I could press my lips against hers for days.
She was perfect to me, my wonder child.
The girl I once knew was dead, like she wanted.
Rest in peace, she was sadder than she needed to be.
Now with a smile and happy eyes that were once haunted,
I knew this girl had to know what she meant to me.
So I told her I loved her through a text, even though
I wanted to say it in person so I could see the look on her face.
It would have been one of those smiles I love, I know.
And since then I know we've both found our place
Right by each others' sides where our smiles are the brightest.
That's where we belonged, we couldn't fight this.
I was whole when I surrendered to her with a kiss.
I finally learned the definition of eternal bliss.
-qtsp- 6/14
We live in a small town,
You said you were happy and no longer down.
So why did you do it?
You didn't have to give up and quit.
You have so many ppl that love you,
Now we are going what you went through.
A terrible loss of someone you cared about,
Never thought you'd ever take that route.
We will miss you terribly,
Never thought that this would be.
Have fun tearing up those golden trails up there,
We know you'll be watchin over us from up there.
Rest in peace my dear friend Kyle,
We will see you after a little while.
You got the whole town cheering "pin it to win it #10!",
We all just wish we could see you again...
I notice you and all your insecurities you try to hide, how you hold your head up when the weight of the whole world is laying on top of it. you're strong, a masterpiece something crafted by god him self one the 7th day when he was supposed to rest. you're beautiful, and i see you. i want you, to want me. i wan't you to see me too, i want you to see all the good i can be when i can't see it my self, i want you to be my ancore, a hand to pull me out of these depths when i'm drowning in a dark endless abyss. i want us both to compliment each other, to make each other better people. that's what I've always wanted, some one to open up too, someone who isn't scared to be vulnerable, cause that's when you're the most beautiful. someone i can love fearlessly, and that would love me fearlessly. maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic.
The mysterious stranger
who thinks he is so sneaky
trying to blend in with the rest of them
But I see his eyes
they harbor a secret
to dark to be told
But that's what draws me near
Makes me want to know him
I'm not afraid of what his eyes say
His distance is intriguing
his failed attempts
to push me away
Only make me get closer
My caring scares him
I can see it in his eyes
I read life times
in those windows
I don't care
if I'm getting
way over my head
he's worth it
I can see it all ready
If I don't guard my heart
I will fall madly in love with him.
She came into the class
Scared and confused
Perhaps tired and sick
Of wearing her mask…
Disgusted, she said,
“A boy stuck his tongue out at me!”
I looked her over
Up &
Down
And very care
-fully did I see
That her very tiny skirt
Rested way above her knee
Did this girl,
really, not know?
That her body will beckon? And she ain’t 12 no mo’!!
That she is—
In fact,
No longer a girl
But woman of curves: a woman of nerve
Who must take on the world
And everything that it serves?
So for the rest of her life,
Wherever she goes
She will see the tongues of men
Both young
& old.
No matter what
She does
Or doesn’t
Know
She’ll be pinned up against
The urges they possess.
Through no fault of her own,
She’ll become an object
to discuss
And she’ll cringe daily
At the ideas that
They thoughtfully
conjure up.
Can I have your attention please?
Imagine if Tupac wrote this I wonder if
we connected cause this was written on his birthday coincidentally.
Check it
I do this for the ones who died to bring about the change
it's hard to stop the crying when you're standing in the rain
Our politicians lying they're just on a campaign
I realize with three eyes on my astral plane
breaking down a swisher filling it with Mary Jane
So I won't go insane from this knowledge that I've gained
the consequence of speaking out a bullet in your brain
or a one way trip to Guantanamo Bay
Join Forces with the Killers Rest In Peace J.F.K
Man Lacking Knowledge of who killed M.L.K
Like a wolf in sheep's clothing they are not who they portray
as yall can tell I'm back with the word play I see
Brothers killing brothers over colors that they claim
While our sisters are exploited for a dollar and some change
their fathers either dead or locked up in the chain gang
cause they were labeled felons for trafficking cocaine
Mama drop out of school and entered the dope game
was known to pull tricks and do strange things for change
they wanna chill with the gang but when it's time to bang
you'll find out that some of these suckers just wanted to hang
but I broke out of that cage all you need is couRAGE
It's like we're trapped in a maze trying to savor our days
while we're wasting my nights we're slowly fading away
We all have a monster.
For some of us, it's our mother-in-law.
For others, it's the teacher in the back of the classroom, giving you the stink eye.
My monster is nothing like other monsters.
It's pink.
Completely covered in dull, pink scales.
It's not nearly as cute as it sounds.
It's nails are ten inches long.
They're painted, but all jagged and chipped.
She often drags them across the walls,
Making an awful screeching noise that pierces through my ears.
The eyes are blood shot,
And the irises are so blue that they're almost white.
The monster is a female.
She has no name,
For giving her a name would mean that she deserves to be treated as a respectable human.
My monster is degrading.
She often whispers heinous and disrespectful things in my ear.
"You're fat, ugly, and disgusting."
"All of your dumb questions are a reflection of your idiotic mind."
"You will be a virgin for the rest of your life."
"No man could ever love you."
"You've got shit for brains."
She makes me want to throw myself off of a bridge.
When I shower, I am afraid to close my eyes.
I fear that when I open them again, she will be right there.
My monster thrives on my pain and suffering.
I can only hope that an angel will come to save me.
An angel with kind eyes,
Smooth, glowing skin,
And a soft, strong voice.
Hopefully my angel will come to destroy my monster.
I can only pray that that day will come soon.
