We are curled up on that old maroon couch
It’s ratty and old but it’s always been our spot,
Even when we were small it was
We’ve been talking for hours but it feels like minutes
Your teaching me about your car and I give you advice
We are so happy like this.
Yet in the back of my mind I feel the time slipping away
But you look at the clock and you ask me to stay just a little longer
But my dad said to be home by nine.
I start to feel nervous and your hands gently shake
We have so much to say but we never have enough time
Our words run together just so we can feel closer for these last few minutes
My chest begins to feel tight with the words I don’t have the strength to say out loud
And in a spare moment of silence my words
I love you.
Yeah, I said it. I love you, it’s there.
You look at me clueless
Almost like you didn’t notice
Then I see your ears go red the way they do when your
And I know you heard me
Words hanging in the open I know you feel my fear
I remember months before when you said the same thing
But my fear controlled me and instead excuses broke free
I’m not ready.
I’m not right for you.
Why would you love me?
You pulled back
Then you hid from me
What might have seemed like a week to you
Were really years for me.
The next time I saw you she was clinging to your arm
I couldn’t believe it
I was shocked
But I hid my feelings and covered them up with a smile
Then everything was normal again
Except for her
Yeah I said it. I love you. It’s there.
I get it now. I understand
It’s insane and irrational
But I now stand where you stood.
I’m feeling what you felt.
How did this happen to calm
But there is this wedge that slides between us
You used to be by me constantly
Strength in our bond
But she walks in and flips her hair
I don’t stand a chance
And your place next to me stands unfilled
She makes me feel out of place
With her dirty looks and glares
I’m not your competition
Or at least so I thought
She’s young and she’s pretty
Sometimes she’s what I’m not
But I’ve been there when you’ve needed me
That’s not something that she’s got
Yeah I said it. I love you. Its there
I hate the fact I haven’t said
The words that I can’t bear
Remember just last week
When you whispered in my ear
You said I’m yours, just yours
I help you when others cant
You understand me when I don’t understand myself
But then I blushed and pulled away
Why did I?
But then you talked about her
And I couldn’t help but feel sad
For a moment I had you back
For a moment things were back to normal.
We still have our moments
Though they are few and far between
You gave me your jacket
We’ve gazed at stars at night
But I come back to reality
And we are sitting on the couch
The time still ticks away
Its time for me to leave
I have to say goodnight
I’d rather stay for hours, or until the suns first light
But we both get up, still shaking
And we quietly say good night
I leave the house I’m on my way
But I know I lost the fight
So, yeah. I said it.
But only in my head.
Ill always wish I said it out loud
Until I find my strength
I love you.
Staring at my nails
(They're red. Chipped like worn paint. Chipped.)
Because I'd look crazy
If I just stared at that wall
Jaws glanced the floor
as you made the scene
at hale and hearty
where food reigned
and laughter spilt,
raucous we flocked
amid moist meat
lavished in hot spice
whetting our whistles
on good spirits.
on glass screens
to feel the unseen
a master of the art
pulling me flush to your flank
as screaming ribs
expelled shooting stars
in lightning flashes
that arced to my blood red sky
while conscious hips fought
with unwitting urges
and lost to a straddling sea
of other-worldly delights.....
The barman glared
and we the raucous
stopped and stared
as she lost her grip
and supper hit the decks,
exposed in our coloured
intoxication he calls time;
some walk in a war of words
under hitched hems
toward a blaze of
hot leather 'neath
that paved my path to sleep.
"youre a goddamn fool, red"
and i say
yes i fucking am
for talking to you again
only an idiot
would trust the words of a boy on the internet
you are sweet boy, ryan
sweet like a wolf who wants his way
sweet like a bird of
i will not let you cut a piece of my arm away
even after three years
the old ones are still red
no more messing with my aching head
im already dead
what could you possibly want from me
In the light of the new morning,
He opens his eyes,
The Devil gets his warning,
And the heavens start to cry.
She utters a quick prayer
To always keep him safe
The Devil weeps in despair,
And a smile warps his face.
He was always quiet,
He was always kind,
At a young age the Devil tried to find,
But his mother’s prayer always declined.
One day she began to cough red,
The same day she breathed,
And the same breath she bled.
He clenched her on the bed,
She said her finals words and fled
The heavens began to dread,
The day the Devil would enter his head.
She looks beautiful walking down the aisle,
He greets her on the stand with a smile,
The priest begins the trial,
On Sunday the heavens sleep a while,
The Devil creeps out of denial.
She watches her son from above,
A tear rolls down her cheek,
She hears the Devil speak,
She tries to warn him,
But the heavens silence her screech.
The clock ticks,
He looks into its eyes,
His heart stops,
And the heavens start to cry.
He kisses her on the lips,
He cries his tears of wine,
The Devil feels fine,
Such an act must be sign.
He runs his fingers across the blade,
He looks into its eyes
He remembers his mother’s prayer
And his conscience begins to cry,
The tears of heaven begin to dry,
Like cancer it spreads across his mind,
While he begs the Devil to make him blind.
He looks all around,
His mind is deranged,
The Devil knew this was bound,
The heavens start to change.
He looks down at what could have been
He looks down at his biggest sin
The Devil only laughs,
While his world no longer spins
She comes home and it feels colder inside,
The man she loved has died,
And the Devil has taken his side.
She sees herself in the pool of red,
She sees it motionless on the bed,
She screams her scream of silent pain,
As the Devil slowly opens her vein
The wind is swooshing outside,
His heart is the Devil and his conscience is the Eye,
He gets up, weak with age,
The Devil cries his tears of sage.
His life is slipping away,
He goes and lies down in his grave,
He covers himself in his own pain,
The heavens begin to obey,
All in all, in the Devil’s cave.
Two shadows cast down a winding trail under a sleepy moon's gaze
Like waking from a night of slumbering under heavy winter blankets, plumes of smoke rise from small brick beds
The shadows sway and dance under the last breaths of sun slipping into the night
When I hold on to her like the last days of summer, but she is like the end of Autumn
When red and gold love letters fill the trees
When the last red ribbons of a sunset caress her face
In her eyes I see the low hung stars of an autumn sky
In her kiss the last sonnet of a season's end
In her arms the warmth of a fire set to welcome the first winter night
Black and white
Have you heard
How divine you seem
Dance me to the moon's light
and I'll watch your heart sway.
Not one I've seen,
not the blue, nor the green
but the red of yourself
that strips me away of all bliss
and carries me towards this dream.
Enter the ochre morn,
the time of awakening, the time of perpetual
and your disappearance,
It plagues me; such a hindrance
Is something I wish not to relive.
Thief of the night, faith of dawn
come by and hear my song.
I shall wait
Through silver skies
For your tune
and bring you the stars, the moon
so to keep us sane,
for such contentment is absent
'til you are brought to me
5/6/00 3:49 PM
I am transcribing this mornings’ writings.
It is 11 a.m. I have been naked all day. So many windows to look through, both physically and in the mind.
I have been near silent the whole time I have been in this house. I find it so strangely familiar here. It fits; it all fits in the mysterious cosmic way I have yet to discover.
*I am a person who visits ‘his house when he is on trips. And here I find myself on a trip or two indeedy. The house, thought 1, I love his style.
It makes me think of what I want for myself. There is fantasy and reality to indulge in here.
Reality is the space and freedom. Space for all things special and ordinary. I miss space and order. He has all the thought provoking areas of interest of a real home. The colors are rich, deep blue, burgundy, and browns, all used in an artful mix of styles. Oddly pondering here because I would choose many of the same pieces myself. Every room has space for dancing, which I have done naked a few times here now.
Everyone else is watching big screen movies. I am in the other living room on a big brown leather couch; still naked, touching all of ‘his things with my body.
I awoke this morning to the sound of the modem. I swear it is the perfect alarm clock for me! You know I get excited every time I here the perfect connection.
My dreams were vivid awake and asleep because ‘he is on a trip and I am sleeping naked in the master bedroom. There is the possibility he could have come home at anytime. I had spent 6 hours already that night naked in his home without his knowledge. Everyone is used to me being naked when we come stay here. I don’t want to put clothes on here, in this house.
It is not the people around seeing me naked in the yard sunbathing, or running around the big house with big windows which have no coverings btw.
It is the space and atmosphere that draws out my facets. This space sparks my exhibitionist in a feisty way. * All the pussy massages for me to relax and enjoy, just being papered to highs. *
The white leather couch and a 60-inch screen for movies- others are sitting in the chairs and on the floor.
One joins me on the sofa. Everyone is watching a movie, so am I when my eyes are open. I am on the couch on my stomach, with a pillow under my hips and my head. My legs spread wide, there I am being touched inside and out constantly. I moan, open my eyes and see the many eyes on me and the ’s. I close my eyes and smile and say “watch the movie you guys geez”, giggle, wiggle and moan again. The surround sound covers some of my whimpers.
As soon as the movie was over I walked to the master bedroom and turned on the light. HIS clothes, files, and suitcases were still on the bed. WoW he really could come home. I wanted that bed!
-We- cleared the bed and I jumped in the middle and put ‘his pillow under my ass. I don’t know ‘him, but I love his style and I wanted to cum on his bed and pillows. The fact that I come here and stay naked all over his things excites me, and he has no idea. And yes, I came all over the master bed, we fucked madly! I know the others heard my bells and chains clinking at a feverish pace. I listened to the sounds ‘his bed made. I fully enjoyed his headboard, grabbing his oak poles, feeling each one up and down, as I was getting closer to coming. Ahhh my hand finds a broken bar, I think how it must have been broken by ‘him doing what I was at that moment. That moment I came.
My mind was so in this “space”, that after we were spent I jumped up and ran to the pool. Everyone else was still wake and followed me outside. Skinny-dipping after hours of pleasure is the best recovery! Wooo Hooo!
I was the only one naked – still, I didn’t mind and neither did anyone else. They were announcing to me when the pool jets came on, giggles, they wanted me sitting on them. A wind picked up and I went inside, everyone followed me in.
We all watched Eyes Wide Shut, and then everyone went to his or her separate rooms.
I took ‘his room, I love the big space, the many doors and windows all left open, so nice and free. I stood beside ‘his bed and slowly dropped my chains and bells beside his slippers on the floor. I sprawled about on his sheet and fell into a light sleep.
I was dreaming that there was a camera taking pictures of me, while I was replaying in my dream the real conversation I had with ‘him the night before. He was asleep on the phone, I called and he never fully woke up to give my message to his roommate. I listened to him breath, and I spoke quietly to him, softly and sweetly, he spoke back a few times and then I hung up. But in the dream I was having it was phone sex, and I was talking in my sleep, in ‘his bed. What a twist of cosmic ways. With all the dreams: of the snap shots and the discovery of me in his bed, nude, alone and moaning fuck me. In my dream I was saying it, and I know the other people in the other rooms could hear me speaking my mind in my sleep. The rooms are close by indeed.
Awoke by the modem with 5 hours of sleep, I was stiff bodied, yet excited to wake up in ‘his bed. It was 8:30 a.m. I rolled over and moaned loud enough to draw attention to myself, knowing it would work .
I kept my eyes closed and softly said how sore my ribs and back were. The hands of the night before returned to rub my body once again. After a few minutes of morning massage, I smiled, giggled and rolled off the bed and darted to the pool.
Naked morning sunshine, I love it, jump in the pool and by the time I got fully wet the coffee came to me. Everyone was eating breakfast poolside while I skinny-dipped my body into a limber state. After breakfast everyone jumped in the pool with me, but I was the only one naked. We all swam for 30 minutes or so. I spotted the lounge chair and decided to sunbathe Seconds after my body reclined, the hands and oil came to pamper me once again. I was spread out in full view of all in the pool, getting slicked up al over, with oil and such. It felt great inside and out, I didn’t care that everyone was watching me get my pussy satisfied. I was vividly aware of where I was, out in the open space and the freedom of space, as I thought my ass rose in the air and my body twitched repeatedly. I heard the voices in the pool, and felt the sun on me as I came hard, right there in front of everyone. Hell, I needed help getting up off that chair, and an oiled hand took mine, and led me to the master bedroom.
The master’s bed now has oil on the sheets and the headboard, and the wall. I left myself all over his things. He will know some of my essence whether he knows it or not, I will. Here I sit naked in his den loving every naked minute of it.
I am back from being oil girl. Being bent over people spreading glistening oil on nakedness, my ass got a lil bit to much sun! I go to the master bedroom again, everyone is still poolside. I try on things, because they are left out on the bed. You know how I always ask what a mans' favorite pair of pants are? Well there was 501’s in my size, I couldn’t resist sliding him on me, loving how they fit my ass. I went back outside and paraded around showing how good ‘his pants fit me. “Do you have underwear on?” I was asked, I laughed and said no. I got an odd look from the people. I danced off to the bedroom and put them back, knowing how he fit was enough.
Right now I am sitting outside writing and a camera is pointed right at my pussy. So I shall stand up for a few shots. I got up and stood on the table and spread for some close ups, lmao, ok enough sun, my tits are red.
After delivering a few drinks poolside, I return to ‘his bed, laying on my belly, thinking, pen in hand.
I hear the shower turn off and I close my legs, I feel the wet drops hit my back, as he sits on my legs. He is holding them together with his weight. I feel the oil hit my back, sliding down the crack of my ass.
The lower back massage becomes two bodies sliding against each other. At first his hands slide between my tightly pressed thighs. My hips grabbed and lightly lifted, raising my ass in the air, yet tightly holding my legs together.
A breath on my neck touched me at the same time he entered my pussy once again. My pen never left my hand. I was focused.
I go for a smoke and jump back into the pool, knowing its time for me to leave soon. As I enter the main room, in just panties, I pick up my lotion and start putting it on my arms. Hands from behind gently take the lotion and begin putting it on my sunburned back. I defiantly feel the fact that I have panties on as the hands reach my lower back and slowly pull them off……
The story is very telling that my mind is truly not on present, but on what is not there. By saying this I almost ruin the erotica of it..but the psychology of the the story is rich too..
I wrote that day and the next paragraph by paragraph, each hour or so.
Who else was present is everyone who always saw me naked and saw it as no big deal. I was a nudist, they knew it. Its all very true...
How will I romance one like me
a creature of distraction
you are perfect for me
both very fucking dangerous
Both intruded for the madness
the madness of inner souls
I would love to love you
but both of us are sold
Our twisted thoughts
our selves deconstruction
if only you saw me fragile
as you are my rose, so red
I love you from afar
never will I talk to you
I will make my next life
collide in eternal love for you
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
the reflection of street in window
and the smell of red
meat, remind me: not
everything is idyllic
red velvet seats
itch my skin
while they pass
voices harass my ears
to what do I owe
the pleasure of your company?
the empty vase—
full of coffee