I thought I was a fish
Turns out I'm the river
Go find a shark baby
Cause I'm gonna flow
Rivers don't breed
digging through the pavement
with our fingers
we have nothing to show
but asphalt underneath our nails.
sometime's we're attracted,
but mostly we're distracted.
insignificant figures torn
from the edges of what we call reality
wanting to be something more,
only to be left in the dark to struggle with the bends.
sometime's we're alive,
but mostly we're dead.
heavy waves of realization
scorn the oblivious into truth
proving the lack of worth
with each stroke
everything shades itself out
before anyone can think again.
A smile kisses my lips
as the darkness disappears
another endless night has faded
hours lost with lack of sleep
I tremble with anticipation
as my heart burns with inspiration
of so many others that have come before me
my skin humming with the beautiful notion
of their passion and devotion
my blood set ablaze
something is awakening within me
so far inside I had feared it was almost forgotten
but the dawn of each new day keeps trying to explain
all the many reasons I am here in the now
if you were to catch me in this fleeting quiet
there is nothing I would hide
I would bare all that lay inside
if you were to pay attention
this moment holds perfection
with its entirety of the unique
perched atop my hidden corner of my world
seeing nothing but knowing all
praying with the aching desire
to only keep getting higher and higher
to climb with worn hands
the rocky mountainside
to dance with bare feet
in the frisky river waters
with my days of sobbing on the bathroom floor
far enough behind me only to see a faint outline
tracing with my fingertips of aftershock
the bits of ridicule and criticism popping up
just as quickly fading to black
and instead of being riddled with tiny little holes
stealing that pain
making a statement
taking a stand
I notice all that has made and kept me strong
for so very long kept in the background
my heartbeats pounds with the bass boom boom
all of a sudden the syncopation hits the room
the terror comes in waves so strong
shivers send endless currents up my spine
as if for one split second
not one atom around me is the same
almost dreamlike comes the realization
that I have always been
painting, writing, sculpting, singing, building
my very own reality........
and frustration
how I'm feeling now
thanks to you
your egotistical ways
hurt everyone
though you refuse to admit
how you really are
I don't get how you don't see it
really
it isn't that difficult
I understand you get your feelings hurt
but so do I
and everyone else
it's a fact of life!
why is it that everyone else can handle that
and you're special enough
that you don't have to
you can make everyone else suffer
because you feel excluded
forlorn
just because I we have other friends
doesn't mean we hate you
it just means we have other friends
really
can't you just look
in the mirror
someday
and come to the realization
that you really are what we say
not with malicious intent
but ridiculously
self-centered
and you need to
get over yourself
That's what you get for telling me to share my thoughts and feelings.
Truth hurts? Really...
Where's your make up honey?
What happened to your hair?
New style
That's a different pair
New attitude ; that's cool
Realization that the new trend is rude
Huh? What you say?
You said at this rate the next fashion statement have to be nude
No more clubbing?
You tired of sharing spaces in places where you have to refer to Men as "dude"
Strangers steadily attempting to intrude
Now you making plans with family and friends
I heard you saying that you rather enjoy yourself and the people who been with you since the long ways
Recollecting the old days
I'm glad that the feeling is now mutual
And that you are finished with trying to be cute
Because you are already simply beautiful
Here’s this girl I know - - she has been never loved before and every day she yearned for something more
In those days she didn’t think love existed until he walked to her through that door
It wasn’t love at first sight but she was naïve to give him a chance
Relationships always seem good in the beginning at a first glance
How long do they last is pending on they take action through the bad times to make them strong or weak for it
The questioned couple will always be tested and it’s up to them to see this
Actions speak louder than false promises especially words never speaking his actual intentions
When a person mean well in any relation, there will always be another who aim to ruin that vibe throughout the given affection
She was just a girl who was foolishly pursuing him by passion
When his idea of love was far from perfection, it leaves her to ask him this question, “Have you ever been through something without ever reaching the results of satisfaction?”
Realization melted into him when her inquiry talks about the situation at hand
It made him question himself: Was she starting to see right through him or is she too blind to understand?
He knew the answer yet he didn’t care to find out how she’ll cope without himself by her side
It was too a point where the reason behind his departure was full of lies
Never love too hard from the start if there won’t be anyone to break your fall
If a person does, it would appear to be foolish to go through it all
Loneliness from a love that wasn’t so true will leave one so cold
A person who never loved before their first time that keeps holding onto unnecessary feelings is a way to stay alone until their old
The first time someone is loved is special even if there is a majority where they’re bitterly left behind
Although, it is rare when a first love captures your heart even for eternality to find
When a love is true, let it be known for all to see
With compelling emotions, trust, communication and honesty that it’s not hard to see that it’s meant to be
Failures in providence of these things will a love so pure in the beginning with apart
Even with those with thoughts so genuine will suffer from those who break hearts
You're dead but you breathe as though you're alive
You're alive but you act as though you're dead
A rapid heartbeat silenced by a shock of silence
Silence invades your mind
Causing temporary peace
Until your thoughts go to war
They fight for a chance to be heard
But they know that no one will listen
As the realization sets in
The silence becomes deafening
Suffocating
Even life threatening
Everybody wants to be heard
But nobody wants to listen.
I knew you were damaged and broken
But I never knew how much
You hid it so well at times
This thing with us was new
I couldn't tell at first how hurt you were
There came a day
When we went on this special date
You surprised me
By taking me out to the country
Setting up a beautiful scene
In front of a mountain view
Under the stars
For a while, all was fine and normal
Then, tears started out of your eyes
You became so angry
Before I knew it, I was on the ground
Shellshock and dumbfound
Part of me wanted to get up and fight
The other part knew you never meant to
My face already feeling the ramifications of the attack
When you saw what you had done
I had never seen such horror before
Your eyes so wide
Kneeling down and tenderly grabbing my face
Kissing me
Punctuating each with I'm sorry
Trying to console and reassure you
It was alright
But we both knew it wasn't alight or okay
You needed healing
When I got home
Making you sure you were gone
Before I went in alone
Trying to hide the injury under my hat
Run to my room as fast as I could
Without looking stupid
He was coming down the hall
Asking how things went
I replied then went on
But he could tell; he could see things weren't okay with me
He blocked my way
Then gently lifted my hat
Much similar to your reaction, he responded with horror
Wide eyes, confusion and then realization
Anger came right after that
I knew he was going kill you
Putting my hands on his chest
Blocking his forward passage
Stopping him
Telling him the situation
Almost yelling at him
There were things he didn't know
That I did and understood
Then the door bell rang
Suddenly, desperation was replaced with horror
I knew exactly who it was
……And so did he
a frightening realization
when life breathes in you
(consciously aware)
blinking through suspended time
and inhaled air
reality moves slowly and thickly
(between planes of shifting awareness)
when the truth is so bright and unsettling….
gazing through time is heavy
(the burden of truth)
almost more difficult
to know what you have.
Every time I hear your name my heart jumps
Into my throat. And when I think of you
my heart cracks a little more and I
can’t help but remember the agony
of losing you, has it really been eight
Years? It feels like yesterday you were here
But now I find myself searching for your
face in everything. You would be nineteen,
Off at college ready to start your life.
Instead I struggle each day to bring up
My memories of you. Was it me or
You who told that joke? I can’t remember now
The feeling of staying up laughing
our heads off till three AM will never
leave me. I sometimes pray that by the morning I
will have forgotten everything and the
pain will have melted away, but how could
anyone wish to forget you? There are
no answers for why you are gone, some things
must stay as questions. now days blur into
weeks, months, years and I’m still here and your not
and every time I forget and try to
call you, it will be the same terrible
realization like every time, that
no one will answer and I’ll be back where I started,
trying to remember, to put the pieces
together and once again pick myself
up, thank you for your friendship, I will hold
you in my heart forever because that’s
how special you became to me. So, this
is my farewell to you,
Goodbye my friend
