It was a grey and cloudy day
and the rain was pouring outside;
the train passed by green pastures
and in my head I was playing
my favourite song over and
over again.
I was looking out the window
and there you were, with a
cup of coffee and a newspaper
and your dark hair all wet and
messy from the storm; you were
wiping raindrops from your
glasses and you smiled as you
looked at me.
You got on the train and sat
across from me and I watched
you for a while before I went
back to reading my book and
playing my favourite song over
and over again in my head;
you drank your coffee and
read your newspaper and watched
my fingers slowly tapping the
pages of L'Étranger.
The train passed by another
unfamiliar city and you had
finished your coffee and your
paper and absentmindedly
stared out the window; I could
see your beautiful brown eyes
in the reflection.
I had four more stops to go
when you got off the train;
in my head you will always be
a time traveller or an author
and destined to be great. In
reality I don't even know
your name and I wonder what
version of you makes a better story.
walking in silence, there she is
the mud bride, walking now without despair
everything comes to an end
the end was the falling
she fell forward,
stained the whiteness of innocence
with the mud of reality
stained his feet,
knees, and his white dress dreams,
she rise up with the mud hands
and her cold lips
walking in silence,
walking now without despair
A fool don't realize they are one.
Until it's too late.
A fool goes into financial ruin to impress.
Afraid to admit they created their own mess.
Then when reality set in.
That's when common sense soon begins
They see that chasing someone to the point that they go broke.
And the return feelings doesn't come their way.
Then they are willing to face their pain.
A fool is a fool when they hold on to dreams.
Until they wake up to see that the dream has faded away.
Being an idiot is too high of a price to pay.
The funny thing is we all have been one.
So we really can't advise no one.
I waited 8 periods, 7 hours, in between searching for you, running around the corridors,
Like a psychosis affected patient running trying to find reality through delusions,
But "planet", ironically you are my delusion, miles away from the brutal reality.
My excuses to see you were drying up; sprinting to the top floor that maybe you‘ll come across,
Ecstatic like a 5 year old kid, when his rents buy him a toy helicopter,
Disappointed like the poor kid as his helicopter crashed on the first day itself.
You’re nerdy, the only guy studying java and oracle with interest, enticing me with your mint and cedar scent,
This infatuation is eating my heart up, slowly and slowly, like cancer
I came today only to see you, desperately clinging to the belief that maybe you’ll come to see me too.
But I was left alone, with the burning sun as my only companion.
I woke up hours early, straightening my hair till my hair were singed, applying mascara till my eyes burned.
I fancied, that possibly you might think of me too, day dream of me too,
but darling curse me for being a hopeless teen, as its getting me nowhere.
Everyone keeps telling me its never going to happen, I’m a junior and you a sophomore
& when your azure lids never glance my way, my face turns ashen, even during the Indian summer.
And who am I to even try to fight with the bitter truth,
for it’s always destroying our little fragile hearts and drowning them in acid and absinth
It was so silly of me to even give into these treacherous day dreams, to even let my pride escape.
I was absurd enough to even like you, knowing even then, that I will never be able to solve this Rubik cube.
We are the stardust
Of the broken
And the damned
We are the followers
Of angels
And of sinners
We walk alone
In fields of gold
And fields of green
We are the dreams
Of all the dreamless children
But, they say
I am different
And they say
We are not the same
Look up
Watch the sky
And listen
To all the cries
Of the alone
Who shriek in vain
We are part
Of a movement
Changing the world
In a matter of words
We walk alone
In step with others
Our brothers and sisters
Who we may not know
Today
We link arms
Away, away, away
We go
Illuminating the night
With the daylight
In our souls
Today
We form reality
Today
We form the world
I stand aside sometimes
And await my punishment
Await my flogging
The consequences of my actions
I know I've been bad
I've lied to myself so, I have been had... by me
But that false reality, for a second, filled me with so much satisfaction
I stand aside, stand out of my own way... so I can see
The ability to be in denial to myself is one that I lack, that character is hardly me
And so, I stand aside sometimes, turn my gaze inward, and look inside at times
Correct my wrongs
The rhythm somehow kind of went off key
Re-write these songs
These bad ideas come in crowds... in throngs
These crazy things that we conjure up
That flow freely
Damn this tap
Will never stop giving
When will it dry up?
Once upon a time lived a lovely, fair maid
She was young and naïve and believed in the power of love.
So, when the prince came to save her,
She thought he was her soul mate, thought it was fate,
For the slipper had fit like a glove.
But what happens when the slipper no longer fits?
When the sands of time have taken their toll,
When she is a young beauty no more?
Valleys on her face and inches on her waist,
And life has left scars on her soul.
Will her prince still be there to save her?
Is she the one he will want to kiss?
When all is said and done, will he be there fighting?
Or will he give up the ghost, say, “I guess we made the most,
But our time is up, and I’m sorry, Miss.”
How quick he is to forget her sacrifices.
All those years she patiently waited,
Trapped in her own personal tower, her cage,
Never giving up hope when she was alone, but now that she’s grown,
She can’t help but think love is overrated.
How can he break every promise he made her?
He said that there was nothing on Earth could tear them apart.
She was young, what did she know of reality?
Certainly not that forever could end, that it could just be a trend.
So, stupidly, she gave him her heart.
She thought it would be safe with him.
Now it lies in pieces on the forest floor,
How will she put it back together again?
It’s mangled and marred, it’s bruised and it’s scarred
With a grief that rocks her to her very core.
She had had a life before,
Now everything inside her felt dead.
She had been fun, innocent, she did not know pain.
And she had had dreams that he ripped at the seams
All because he didn’t mean what he said.
She can remember, bitterly, what it was to be loved.
She was once the apple of his eye,
He had made her feel like his own Aphrodite.
But now he has gone, chasing after a new, younger fawn
And all her best years have just drifted by.
Once upon a time lived a broken, sad maid,
She was wise and mature and no longer believed in love.
Once, long ago, a prince had saved her.
She thought she had found her soul mate, thought it was fate.
Now it’s just a time she’s reminiscent of.
These lost years of loneliness and social depravity
Have left me with nothing except this written tragedy
I sat and watched as the walls of my life crumbled away
Into this contorted sensation twisting through dismay
These ceaseless rememberance sessions screaming inside
A dead fixed stare on old friends taking cyanide
These bonds have come together in such a swift motion
And, just as fast they've came to their abrubt destruction
Dispersing any tint of mutual belonging from view
Molding a sad landscape of sighs and failing virtue
Watching as the remnants of my relationships loiter
The catacombs of these stockpiled confession letters
If only I could say anything my empathy had to tell me
My skeletal pose might have perched upright in a higher degree
And I would of have grown to a more formidable size
A clear cut aspiration that I never came to realize
Until all that I held grew too big for me to carry
and left me to stumble and sleep at the cemetary
Scratching dead love songs on century old gravestones
Where the forgotten have slept for generations alone
Hoping the crude penmanship might grace a weary heart
Or help a looming ghost feel a taste of love and depart
From the fog filled graveyard parade that it dwells
A final ringing from the synapsis of the greif bells
Sparking the ruin of a memory that doesn't seem real
A fading echo of a brotherhood I wish I could still feel
Detached from a reality that lurks in a decrepit imagery
Reshaping my empty cognition through a fake neuro surgery
I've reached the point where I have no reason to find
A replacement for all these buried pictures astray in my mind
Reality hits me and then I drown into everlasting bliss
He leaves me dreaming of something that could never be
He leaves me with nothing….
Nothing but the sound of the rain in an empty room….
In that moment
I truly felt you for the first time.
Your breath rolling over my neck,
your hands grasping my waist,
I wanted to keep that still-frame forever.
It felt invigorating,
as if you were bringing life to the dead.
You offered pulsating veins
and hyperactive breathing
in contrast to a world
that only desires
to watch its victims suffocate.
I stole and absorbed every moment,
like oxygen to spasming lungs.
I became a maddened catalyst
with an insatiable craving,
driven by my new found ability
to feel this breathless seduction.
I tried memorizing
every pore on your skin
while I took you in.
Inhaling as deeply as I could;
I held you there
in my lungs.
But now that the end has arrived
I only feel distance
and empty space
the product of reality,
and carbon dioxide flooded veins
Too afraid to breathe out
in fear the air
will have disappeared once again.
Possibly forever.
You are fucking unforgettable.
