Remind me to remind u sometime -
when the stifling rub of arrows marked
in green ink & pencil smudges quiet
the page - to flay the skin from my bk
with ur tongue, and grow the dark with
wedding bells. Alternately, we might just
go 4 a drink. I’d embarrass myself with talk
of ex-girlfriends and how the Slenderman
myth might give our children nightmares.
You’d say nothing and our full-stops’d be
like flint on wet shale
                                    (the 1st break in hrs)
x

Sleep well, my princess, peacefully, serene.
Let not anything disturb thy dreams.
By light of the moon, by light of the stars,
Sleep well, my princess, and peacefully dream.

In morning be rested so when opening thine eyes,
A new day shall dawn with wondrous surprise.
By light of the sun in skies stretched far,
The next day brings new joys to be prized.

But sleep well now, my princess, in the quiet of night.
Let not anything thing bring to you fright.
By the sun’s rising, oh beautiful star,
A new day will be waiting for your delight.

Thinking back on the days gone by, when we were together
Intoxicated, young, in the face of stormy weather
So little we will notice
All the troubles that we miss
So carefree, together we grow
Not a care in the world, no...

Without warning, the feeling of having to say goodbye
The fine leaves of cold December started to die
Slight bend of numbers flood through our time
One even reckon on disclosing it was a crime
Quiet, like a calm storm
We slow down, left trails so warm

And blissful days are recovered
You speak for certain, that my flame's not like the others
Why do I sense the other end instead?
Fancy hearing anew, nevertheless

You have altered entirely, fresh you to boast
Never knew today would bleed the most
Convinced that change is what you ever need
Along with your love that mislead

The past is the past for a reason
Perhaps, I should have stayed frozen
Should have just let all the cards unfold
As it may be, nothing is to behold
Cause the past is the past for a reason
Shouldn't look back, learned a lesson

There's still something
That's missing in me
I'm not the girl I was
But that's who I long to be
Happy, smiling, joyful
Never really quiet
There was so much to say
I could've started a riot
But instead I left
I changed myself
Stopped speaking to people
And stay on a shelf
Away from people
Hiding in corners that are dark
Hoping no one pulls me
Into the light to see my marks

Do not tell me to be quiet, do not silence my storm, do not tie me up in riddles, or covers to try and keep me warm. Do not try to be the drum to which my heart beats to, i am not a key in your lock, i am not the labyrinth within, you.

Do not tell me to shut up and sit down, do not misunderstand me, assume, appertain to, mislead or declare me reborn. Do not be within which i do not wish to seek; i am not yours, your reproach, your tears, or your regrets when you're weak.

Do not put your fingers upon my lips, do not silence me with a look, do not think you are more than you think you are, because you are more than i ever thought to be enough. Do not try, do not even for a second walk away, do not leave me alone, do not even, let me ever scream for you to stay.


Do not ask me to stop talking, thinking i won't be long, this is not a 4/4 or 3 into 2 kind of song. There is no birth, without a death, there is no grief without feeling bereft.

Do not ever expect me to be, someone who you think i want to be.
Just take my hand,
say 'hush now, be still and come, be still with me'

You dont understand Chris
You are the best thing for me
You are a collection of dusty white illusions, desires, love on window panes
the color and tinge of which I am so excitable about
putting up in our new home
your face inspires me to write
like the angels
your face inspires me to be free
the compassion,
if only you knew less,
and more of how much it makes me
sad
because you relinquish the love in my heart
by
folding it half in half, half in half
till there is nothing for the world to be seen
reverted back to where I've been
touched by an untouch
closed
because all of the love that I've known
is not tangible
never tangible enough

I've waited months
I've waited near a year

because how can someone own up to all my dreams
materialize them as all I see
need me
but not enough to enter into security
the commitment of short chance
the security of knowing nothing will always last
and that doesnt make me seem bitter
feel bitter
in the upturned corners of my heart
its that something
something keeps you from rolling into me
something to conceal yourself from me
its not what you want
its not what you feel

if that's the case then why cant I leave?
why cant I walk my spirit out of your life
without you noticing every detail
without some sadness in my wake?
because you want to brush your angelic knuckles across my streaming skin
because you need my mind to guide you, to get inside you
because you dont know
but you like it when you touch me
you talk to me like a concerned parent in your sleep
when I'm fine
quiet, assuming of the worst
because this would, and was the very first
that he's all that he projected himself to be
he loves, and so tenderly, so carefully, so fully
so it makes sense
that he wont give of himself to an item that includes me
and its not me,
you say honestly
but you cant say it isnt you
your perceptions
of what are boundaries
and zipties
isnt true
I'm not like your women
I know what it means to love

I give you air, I give you breath
I give you laughter, and the wind
I give you earth, I give you security
I give you pools to soothe your ridgid mind, to let the heaviness sink and be left behind
a place to allways land, to always fall
EVen when you loose your precious mind
Always know I'd be there to closely follow behind
I give you understanding
I give you your genious
because I have enough of it to not take yours for mine
I know what it means to love
I know what it takes to love you
even if you dont know, its true

mixed up beautiful man
just silence yourself and lets walk away
hand in hand
because I wont take up half your bed
I wont make you build a second-life
from the lies you have to tell your parents on behalf of me
and I wont kick and scream when time comes for life to carry you away from me
and I wont put taxes on my body, because if its my land
you can have it freely
and I wont tell you one thing, then judge you based on another
I wont follow you around the house
I wont take your money
or make you pay my way
because you are darling to me, because both you and I are different from they

I see pictures of her,
as I stroll down the quiet streets,
pictures in the mind, ever pervasive,
ever invasive,
throughout this brain as I go through the day to day.
I wish not to escape,
but to bathe in her radiance.

February 2013

You know it's not just me
We all voted and the consensus was apathy
Paper-maiche homogenized politicians are so transparent
We just couldn't fake it without an alternative to replace it

So we collectively sighed stayed at home and shook our heads
Whatever if this is the best we can do it's better to do nothing instead
So we dig for books about faces drink tumblers listen to the sound of clouds too
Any sense of distraction after a fashion to run away from truth

You see we have cheap beer fast food pizza delivery
We can find adult friends online and watch porn for free
It's easy to miss love truth kindness compassion integrity
It's blinking on our screen but the notification is so annoying to me

So let's all gorge on twittering wings drowning in endless hours of shows videos and TV
Let's all fuck each other senseless in hollow loveless robot abandon
It seems we may have seen too many apocalyptic zombie war vampire movies
We're all terrified certain the end is soon so what's the point of making plans then?

By the way I'm no better and am ruled by nagging gnawing knowing doubt
I have no contributions or solutions just problems to bitch about
Can we both just quiet our dreams gently and promise not to discuss
Why we accept fate sadly and settle for the substitutions of happiness passed to us

Azrael Always James
© Copyright 2013

The day sets sudden into summer shimmering
blind beasts patchy and lost
wander hopelessly along the tarmac trails of rubber foot caravans.
My mind races rancid thoughts forward
the winner takes all
that winter melancholy waving funeral flags at the finish line.
I'll bite down my teeth on the metal masculinity
and taste holiday nostalgia:
burning meat,
drunken rednecks,
fireworks just past dusk,
that mixture of sulfur and black powder,
fumes.
I can't keep on like this,
knees shaky from miles measured in ruby minutes.
I'll eat this city whole,
carbon emission load before my final marathon.
These teeth will shine down like symmetrical clouds in the sky
my mad mans brittle grin.
I used to wish:
for finer living in laps of luxury;
for nights wrapped in silk, sweat, shine, and infamy;
for heavens gates to open pearly white to golden streets for me.
Those days have lost their charm
beaten dreams that bellied up
and showed their starving guts.
Submitted and laid down
with their tails tucked between legs
and panting for mercy
my dreams play bottom bitch to reality's sadistic hand.
As for now;
I hope.
Hope I can hold the fire in my hand
to burn my life and this city to the ground
the pile of ashes will bare no souls return.
That silent hour,
I want to be alone and involved
in the fashion of dogs.
I'll wander off alone to the trees.
My brittle ribs showing
the silent cage of my black and tired heart.
The trees will whisper their names to me
as my spirit shakes their shining leaves in rising.
Goodbye you lion;
your angel face was as quiet as ever,
slack and pale under a harvest moon.