Revelations from your cherished words,
Echoes in my inner mind like love birds
Enlightening those songs, you sung
Engraved within my mind forever.
After years and fears of destiny
I ran into the cambers of darkness;
Setting off in grief, seeking a shield
from other's eyes; arrows; uneasiness;
Even the Love shines a light at me
And knowingly, honestly.
I bow my head, earnestly,
Searching for a way to explain.
I ran further away from you;
I bow my head in deep confusion,
Hoping to disappear into the shadows
as moments crumble around me.
I cannot protect myself forever
from the rage of my grief,
Except by going deeper and deeper
into my own solitude.
(All poems in this series are, translations from Malayalam, originally written in author’s mother-tongue, “Malayalam’”, the language of Kerala, in South India.)
BY WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
The words of anger you spill can penetrate deep into my soul, your icy chill makes my blood run cold.
The constant judging glances that you cast my way can instantly make my courage fold.
But that's just a family affair.
It cuts so much deeper when the knife thrusted into my back is wielded by one that shares my family name.
A person that I would die to protect suddenly has me second guessing if they would do the same.
But hey , that's a family affair.
You can bring out of me a rage like no other person can and in an instant all I can see is a fiery red hue.
But despite it all we are family, you will always be connected me and I will always be connected to you.
That's how it goes when it's a family affair
Because even though they put me down,
And i always have a frown,
I can pick myself up, and forget ther missdeads,
As long as i can get what this body needs,
Doesnt have enough love though its loved by one,
Its hated by others, and that's no fun,
It always has been true, and now it will end,
I can and will for myself fend.
And i will protect the one that i love,
Cause she is the one who id fight for, without gloves.
Fist to fist, head to head,
I will fight till the other is dead.
I wont back down, i will stand tall,
Come against me or after her? Your not getting up from that fall.
In the early morning light
I woke up sweating in a fright,
You weren't there, I guess my dream came true.
It hurts, it burns,
In my heart a curse,
It grows in strength like a young boy's tears,
And silently spreads, like how cancer appears.
If I ever fall apart,
You'll love and heal my quiet heart,
And thanks to you, I know no one will touch me.
You protect me from the cold,
you renewed my faith of old,
I'll take these prayers now,
Unfurled like greens in spring,
The gifts the days of light bring,
And pray to God my love returns.
I'll wait for you still, soldier dear,
I'm but a girl, but I'll not a shed a tear,
For nothing sears like a parent's worry.
Deep inside your father's eyes,
A hidden thing, blackened in the ash
Of a legacy inherited, passed,
In times of fire and peace
And you're the one to carry
What your grandpa also has.
There's naught to do,
The climb's not through,
And it's unfortunate that not just I depend
On the hopes that are born
From the loves you're fighting for,
And it's an end
Ceremony at which we'll laugh and cry.
I won't receive a pin,
Except to love the one I'm with
At last, and I've completed
A training of my own.
בשעות הבוקר הקטנות
התעוררתי פתאום, מזיעה מחלום,
ולא היית, וחלומי אמת.
זה צורב, וזה כואב,
כאב שרק קיים בלב
ומתחזק כמו בכי ילד קטן,
ומתפשט בשקט כמו סרטן.
אם אי פעם אתפרק,
תרפא אותי, אוהב, שותק,
ובזכותך אין מי שעוד ייגע בי.
אתה שומר עלי מפני הכל
מפני עצמי, מפני הקור,
ובזכותך אני שוב נושאת תפילות.
אקח את אמונתי המחודשת
כירוק עלי כותרת
באביב, ימי מאור,
ואתפלל שאהובי יחזור.
חייל, לך עוד אחכה,
אני ילדה, אך לא אבכה,
כי אין יותר מדמיע מדאגת הורה.
עמוק בתוך עיני אביך
דבר מוסתר, מושחר בפיח
של מורשת מועברת
בזמנים של אש ושקט,
ואתה הוא שממשיך את
מה שסבא גם עבר.
אין מה לעשות,
יהיו עוד מסעות,
כי לצערי, לא רק עלי אתה מגן.
על התקוות שנולדות
נבכה, נצחק בטקס גמר,
ולי לא תנתן סיכה,
חוץ מלהיות סוף- סוף איתך,
וגם אני סיימתי
מסלול משל עצמי.
I can't take your calls anymore
Something's just not right with your mind
I can't stand the way you try to control the things you can't help in your life
Because even when the skys are blue
Your still living in a tragedy
And even when its going good
Your still impossible to deal with
I wish you could see yourself
Take a good hard look
I wish you could just be yourself
Your trying to impress the world
But your just another mindless, failing robot
Circling the depths of nonsense and chaos
You're a product of the dogma that comsumes the currupted mind
One that stabs uncertainty with darkness instead of light
But somethings are not exactly what they seem
Sometimes I'm forced to drown in echoed bloody screams
And pretend to be somewhere else in this misery
I'll pretend you were only trying to protect me
As I wish upon another hopeless, dimming shooting star
Concentrate on anything else but this headache you make pound on my brain
If only magic exsisted
And I had it in me
To just fly out of this nightmare and into the sky
Would you leave me alone and stop calling
Because I can't take your phone calls anymore
I lay here open
Open to possibilities and opportunities that present themselves for me with you
But i Can't seem to break through this wall I have put up
A wall made jus for me to protect and keep me from harmful situations
Many contemplations about how am I gonna get through this again
So I kept building and building on my personal wall
Yeah see I built this wall with pain over and over and over
A lil dab of betrayal
A pinch of some scorn
Oh and shovel full of layers of scar tissue covered with stitches for recovery
Yeah I built this wall meticulously
I would sometimes feel like I'm a guest
Sometimes like an outsider in my own skin
Moving along like a night rider
Nobody seeing me or believing me
So I carry some heavy footgear
Holding them in my rear stow away I use it to move along through life without any scars, or that's what I try to do
This footgear feels great because I can stomp, jump, and even do cartwheels over all my enemies
Shindy misleadings all leading up to my success
Leaving me blessed
Riding along this pack train saying hello mufasa and simba
Oh and rifiki is there
See I admire their strength and agility
I even know who continues to keep me
A higher power and His name is Jesus
Love Him to pieces
But someone came outta nowhere
Out From left field Try to catch the Foul ball
Jumping over bases and even some left field men
Trying to Break through my wall
Shining some light on my night rider journey
Complicated feelings taking many meanings
My head is spinning
Fear rising...leaving me paralyzed even though I still feel your touch when I'm away from you
I'm scared...even some what terrified that I lie here and all I can think of is you
Wondering if my brain waves can send out a signal over to you so that you know how I feel
See night riders they don't open up
Sign on the door...
No more customers...the day is over
See We ride in the dark
Trying to keep feelings secret
A loner when it comes to sharing emotions
Commotion on the inside but calm on the outside
But maybe you can be my knight in shinning amour breaking down my walls
Chipping and chipping away through all the dust and the rumble
I may even stumble over you but at least I'll be in your arms
Feeling safe through your touch that even peels away some of the hurt
So right now I may be a night rider but I'm moving towards the horizon that is the beginning of some light
Your arms and legs are strong as a grizzly bear
Your eyes reflect your loving, tender heart
To love one so broken, yes I do dare
No greater torture, for us to be apart
Being always protected by your strong arms
And wondering to be able to look after you
I am helpless against your devilish charms
Your love is deep as the great, dark ocean
Julian, your heart is mine to safely hold
Running towards your arms, open and welcoming
Your soul I protect, if I may be so bold
Our lives will be lived together, loving
Yours and mine, our hearts tethered forever
I will love you forever and ever
I'm staring at walls and hiding away.
Breathing to fast for a normal day
Yet at the same time I can't breathe
As I stare at the test in front of me.
Life can take you in unplanned ways,
And leave you hanging with only a few days.
And here I ask you, who am I?
To choose between death and life?
I'm seventeen, I'm too young to make this choice,
To silence another soul and bury down their voice.
But as the seconds tick on by
And as I feel my eyes dry
I think of how hard it would be
If there was something growing inside of me.
That "Just one time" was probably enough.
And that even protection isn't so tough.
No matter how far I reach
Your tiny hands are too far from me,
And I want to hold you in my arms
And protect you from all world harms.
I want to wipe away your little sorrows
And hold you for every tomorrow
And lift you up above my head so high,
That you could take flight in the sky.
And when I look into your eyes,
The color of midsummer skies,
I'll be looking into his too.
Because love gave his eyes to you.
And our little family would fight along
And we'd have to find a way to be strong.
School would be a dying dream.
More jobs would magnetize me.
And I love you, I love you, I really do.
But it's much too soon for me to have you.
And there's still a minute until the end of the test.
And I can't find where I lost my breath.
Baby, be patient, you'll be here one day.
But if I want what's best for you, I can't let you stay.
And I'm sorry for ever doing wrong,
But my love for you is much too strong.
I'm staring at walls and hiding away.
Breathing to fast for a normal day
Yet at the same time I can't breathe
As the test says "No - " in front of me.
Wrapped in a series of tangled twines;
How many of us see the knots;
Which protect us from the thorns;
How many of us cherish the thorns;
For that which they do for us?
You see a thorn and you say;
Oh my; oh God; such dismay!
A beautiful flower shunned;
But the thorn gives the flower protection;
How many of you see it this way?
We are all here but once and not everyday;
You cherish not what you can keep,
Yet you look for that which you do not seek!
So you're saying you're proud and
Grateful to have so much freedom, opportunity, wealth
Well, I'm not.
Sociocentrism is an ugly, unnatural state
Everything we have takes away from someone else
We try to pretend there's no connection, that the plight of others is cause by their own failing
That we are deserving
Convinced that this is all here for us
We take and take and take
But every terror we inflict on anything "else" is a terror upon the self
We protect our so called civil liberties with wage slavery, chemical abuse, and ecological terrorism
Profit baby, profit über ales
Well congratulations to us
This is nationalism at its finest
No, I'm not fucking proud of it
If you want to take credit, be my guest
Just ask India about policies of profit over regulations, about denim and dye and death
Ask Mexico about farming, their take on the "Fair Trade Act"
Ask the rainforest if it remembers what it was like to have trees
Try to find an Arawak to ask anything
Ask 63 countries what it feels like to have a US military base keeping watch
And what would happen if another country tried to build a base on this soil
Or maybe ask why you never learned shit about any other country
Much less about your own
Back in History class
Survival of the fittest, you say?
A dog eat dog world?
Alright, let's play
This country is overrun by dogs, that's true
But honey, we're not eating any other dogs
We're eating poison and calling it food
While our leaders give Monsanto handjobs under the table
We are "the world's leading nation" and we're dropping like flies
No, not dead
Just into hospital beds and prison cells
Our country is filled with poverty, racism, violence, and terror
Not to mention obesity heart disease depression anxiety and PTSD
We're over-medicated malnourished and spiritually starved
We're pissed off at a whole lot of bullshit
That means nothing in the scheme of anything
Fully engaged in the myth of a two-party system
Even though most of what we see and hear is merely distraction
Thank you, media, all 6 of you big beautiful monoliths
I'm so lucky I have the opportunity to be informed!
We're a nation divided by details
While our leaders run in circles pouting fat fingers at each other
Engrossed in this thing we call "politics"
I'm really glad you're proud
They say ignorance is bliss
But I think it's more like a shiny polyester suit
Holding together a parasite infested mess
Sitting in a recliner after a hard days work of trying to stay afloat on a mountain of debt in a drowning economy
Bottles of medication on the table, GMOs in the fridge
Quietly doing what they're told
Never wondering why
Falling asleep to the glow of the TV whispering fear and terror, us and them, buy and buy and buy
The sweet purr of "freedom"