You know this never should have happened.
I was never suppose to write a single poem.
Let alone have followers, comments and views.
But here we are and I have you to thank.
And this is my thank you to you all.
My first round of 'thank you's' goes to my followers.
Devlin Andrew Harris, who is quite remarkable, followed me before I had even written anything.
Charlotte Weigh, my most favorite person in the whole world
Nicholas Jones, who was inspiration behind 100 of my poems; yes I counted.
Alysia Michelle; if you ever find yourself in Oregon we'll get some donuts ;P
Harry J Baxter
Nolan Fillman, you have no idea how much your following me, liking my poems, and comment meant to me.
THE WHITE RABIT
Floyd Allen Michael Redenbaugh
Nat Lipstadt, who is beyond brilliant and honored me with being a subject of his writing
Jonny Angel, thank you
Miss Jade Murder
Emily Rose Williams
Timothy, the nicest commenter ever
Peyton, she's pretty fantastic
Tyler Lynn Pulliam
Fadi Shaker, thank you
Kevin Song, sorry I'm not much of a talker
Soul in Torment, beyond words of the skill this one has.
Kelly Rose, thank you
Bailee K, missing you girl
Bilal Kaci, thank you too
Blue K, greatness she has
Tristan Costello, hello
Sadie K, the one with her hands covering her face
Queen of Pancakes, yes you
Whit Trash and Retarded
Ryan Cullen Macleod
The Masked Sleepyz
Okoye Chude Maryanne
and Haley Madison
Next my thanks wants to go to those who took the time to like and comment.
Ernest Gone, one of the first
Joshua X Noheart
Joshua Wann, this guy is the stuff
Andrew Joseph O'Donnell
A Mess of Words, you have no idea how highly I hold you. If this is a 'mess' I hope it never get's cleaned up
Austin Skye, thank you
Heather E Perry
4 different ---, why are you hiding from me?!
I wish I could cry
Kitty named Bailey
Whinging Wonder, I'm sorry
Chandin Clinton, I was never more honored.
Enter Name Here
Sally A Bayan
Yong Hwan Son
Rose Saba, thank you
The Wolf on Red Street
Josh Nunn, hats :)
N, hey you
Michael J Davies
Alexandria Christine Lund
Andrew Siegel, thank you
and Jade Ellen Peel.
And of course to all of you who read my words.
That means a lot to me.
And sure I could have simply said
"I hit 20,000 views thank you all!"
But honestly it means SO much that I needed
to thank each one of you individually.
I am know the pain and frustration of having a name misspelt so let me know and I'll fix it :)
The only thing worse than being with you,
is not being with you.
The only thing worse than talking to you,
is not talking to you.
Every time I try and go cold turkey,
I find my hand automatically
I grasp and open my fist,
but nothing is there.
You thawed me out,
a task previously thought impossible.
I can't stop melting.
How dare you give me these feelings,
turn me into this,
when you get to walk around solid
I'm a wreck.
Unrequited love is too pretty a term for whatever this is,
the ugly, confusing mess that has
The one you engendered.
I hope you're happy now.
I hope you can sleep soundly at night,
whilst I toss and turn between images of you.
I hope you can look me in the eye when we speak,
whilst I try hard to find the floor,
the clock on the wall,
as interesting as possible.
most of all,
that one day you'll open your eyes
and finally see me.
I'll be waiting.
Sad thing is, I think you know it.
I tried to be a girl today
Painted my nails red and blue so I’d stop biting them
Tried to be pretty
With unbrushed hair and acne and calloused fingers
The nail polish chipped off and I peeled it away
My hands wreck the paint in place, what I paint ends up beyond the lines of my hand, its everywhere, its ugly, Its suffocating, I take it off
I want to say its a metaphor
Something about how I cant cover up what I am with pretty colors and shiny surfaces
It’s got to be indicative of future and past behavior about how I mess up preconcieved ideas or something about how I break the molds that others try to put me in
It happens every time
It smudges, fingerprint, grooves imprinting the paint with traces that I am there
Breaking the construct of beauty
I feel I cant say its anything more than smudged paint, despite how true the metaphors would be
Nothing more honest than the disfigured coverup and what lies beneath
I tried to be human today
Felt alien in my own skin
Wounded as I fought the judgement of a species I don't feel I belong to.
According to my mother I am an enemy of God for finding a temporary yet more beautiful love with her than I’ve found with a man.
I tried to be who you wanted, it never worked then, its naive to expect it to work now.
The mold that was cast does not, has not ever fit me.
I’d apologize for failing your expectations however there's no apologizing for finding solace amidst the storm.
look at you
fumbling at the clasp
of your bra
to the core
hoping I see you
hoping I save you
as if there's a
who you've become
you plead with me
--breath of a cheap
to let you stay
you ask me if I
think you're pretty
sure I respond
sure you're pretty
hell I haven't met
many naked women
standing in my
bedroom who aren't
but I can't save you
I'm not the one who
will keep you honest
not the one to kiss
you on the head
and tell you goodnight
sure you're pretty and
sure I'll fuck you, baby
but I'm not sure
if I can fix you
I dream about
the slow groove,
playing those intimate moves,
running my hands up her shapely legs,
kissing their soft insides with tenderness ‘till
reaching the sweetest spot known to mankind,
savoring moist-petals with flicker-passion,
watching the heaving of pretty breasts,
hearing gentle sighs of indulgence,
following her fiery-commands,
demanding the very best
we have to offer
In these moments
I'm just so confused
and yet I don't know why
I'm so scared to love you
Because why would you love me?
even though you tell me all the time
I can't even love myself
and why should anyone else
I'll tell you why I don't love myself
it's because I'm not pretty and useless
I don't know why you love me
when I can't see what you see
I can only bring pain
from battles that were lost
and my scars hid their secrets
But how could you
I can think of a million reasons
why I love you
but you tell me
you can't see
How could you
It's the way you smile
and how I get lost in your eyes
the feeling of your touch
you have me mesmerized
And now I understand
how to love someone
who can't even
Jessie says she wants to go home.
With diamond tears in her eyes,
A pretty flower that grew to the sky
So deep, all the secrets she couldn't keep
Weighed all her petals down
And to the ground she looked.
Jessie says she wants to go home.
She held her innocence in
Like a tiny bead of nectar,
And when the bees came to take it away
Couldn't decipher the many ways of May.
Jessie says she's tired of this,
I drew a circle on the ground
and said you're that and I am this.
It was a long walk home
Still taste the farewell on my lips.
She left with such a sour kiss.
Silence of the night is where it all begins
After my cover of being fine is torn to shreds
It's pretty easy to look okay once you're used to it
But just never believe you ever were
Morning filled with I'm fine and thank yous
Nights filled with sweet dreams and sleep tight
No one ever knew those things were never true
Loudest sound of silence
When I can hear my blood rushing in my veins
Or was it my heart beating even though
I wanted it to stop
Maybe they were the voices in my mind telling me
"Go to sleep and never wake
Nobody cares and
Someday you're gonna die anyways
Make it quick ,make it fast
You won't feel a thing
Just glide that blade against your wrist
You won't feel pain
And past is past"
It's rather tempting,it really is
But id never accept that offer
No matter how good the deal is
The silence of the night is a good persuader
But I'm not a buyer
And I have better things to look for anways.
It's little white legs
strides the stamen and waits
no web does it seem to have
this spider in my Orchid
It's black eyes are very keen
pollen feeders a veritable banquette
such a pretty creature it looks
yet it has deeds dark
As I listen to my beloved Mozart
tending to the rest of my plants
I thank god for the beauty of natures wonders
and the gift of humour and love
Oh my beloved Earth
how much I love you
don't reject the blight
and the ignorance of man
I love Mozart's 21st
I wish he had cheated death
I would call him friend
on the 10th of my birth
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
I get confused when
People discuss love as if
It's a vague word
But no it's so much more
Love was portrayed wrong
In fairytales because they introduced
Love at first sight
But didn't emphasize that love isn't about looks
Sometimes the evil villain
Could be the one with the pretty face
Or the one with the white horse
Whereas Prince Charming
Could be a pauper
Who has to work for a living and perspires a lot
He could be clad in not-so-fancy clothings
Then again,that's only one aspect of love
There could be siblings love
There could be passion
Also faith .
I witness love first hand,
when people pray
when a person gobbles up their food
Without showing off on social media
When a pair of old couple uses sign language to
Understand each other.
Love isn't so simple
It's weird and complicated but
One day, I want to have my own love story,
A little but less a than Fairytale.