I don't wanna remember those three terrible nights
              It was a time when I never even knew the time
There were a lot of people, but two stood out the most
               They didn't realize it, but the traumatized me
               They wouldn't leave me alone
                They wanted "hugs"
                They said they loved me, but it was clear
                No sign of affection was ever there
I don't wanna remember my messed up mind
                13 months in treatment made my mind right
I will never forget those 3 terrible nights
                Sitting there unknowing when they were coming
                All that mattered to them was the "hugs" and the drugs

So this month after my birthday i realized how much my friends matter to me and that i matter to them. They were always a true friend, i am thankful to have such great and wonderful people in my life. Always laughing through the fun and happy times together, making the best memories i have. I'm so grateful to be able to call these people my friends. Thank you life for blessing me with these people. I will forever be thankful i got a chance to meet and know them.

I see a sunset in the west,
The fishes and turtles under the ocean take their rest,
Palm trees here and there;
The sun is fading in the air.

Royal-blue waves crashing in motion,
A sea turtle peeps up out of the ocean,
The sunset bears shades of red and gold;
Colours so vivid and bold!

The sunrays slant under the bay,
It's nearly the end of a beautiful day,
The sun slants under the sea;
This place is so dear to me!

Four palm trees on a high cliff,
I breathe in the salty-sea all in a surprised sniff,
I heave a sigh;
While on the beautiful island I lie.

One cliff and another one in the distance I see,
What a beautiful treasure to see is the pretty sea,
So beautiful is the day;
No wonder people call this beautiful place Turtle Bay!

~Marian~

Sometimes
I'm vaguely happy
A small fraction of me is glad,
That when you look at yourself
You don't see
What other people see -
Because if you did
Maybe, just maybe
You wouldn't be with me

she sits in the shadows
barely anyone ever notices her
because she keeps her mouth shut
and notices everything else

she's okay with being alone
not because she doesn't like people
but because she likes having time to ponder things
and be uninterrupted

she has a crooked point of view
and sees the dark sky
as a chance for a brighter day tomorrow
but then reminds herself to embrace the dark sky as well
just in case tomorrow is cancelled

30 hours with 45 minutes sleep.
Busy day today,
Much work to do and roll through on a hill that's steep.
Thoughts run deep,
Intoxicated by events.
Some things are meant to happen, no use in trying to prevent.
I just want to vent, soul exposure.
Thinking about people with whom there may be no closure.
Head in the sky as people and houses fly by.
Acceptance is a choice one must utilize, don't just try.
Pandora's box, you know what will happen when you pry.
Send me some good vibes, my body's feeling low.
Deeply rooted into a sea of cravings and mystery,
So I know there's room to grow.
Shaken world superstorm, I thrive on the unknown.
We'll see how it goes, how one will survive.
Count your blessings now, and be happy that at least you tried.
I've had to hide, the person I was to please.
Through this I've accumulated a vast mass of mental fees.
Feel the breeze, it's real and energizing.
Beware of thoughts that breed illness,
No matter how hypnotizing.
Realizing new things on a daily basis.
I've pushed myself to extremes, now the nature of everything is making me face it.
A train's coming,
Slowly I step off the tracks.
It cuts through the land, reminding you it's best not to go back.
Memories are moments, we know they won't last.
Just don't dictate your future, based on what happened in the past.

For most of my life
I wanted to help people
I wanted to be a superhero
I wanted to save people
From everything that was hurting them
I wanted to fix up people's wounds
But then I found out what it meant to be a savior
It means you spend every day worried
That your best friend may not be alive tomorrow
It means second guessing
Every
Single
Word
You say to him
It is being told you are the only reason he is alive
It is spending nights awake
Because being someone who saves
Isn't as rewarding as you thought it would be

the thing about feelings
is that they change
yesterday,
  you may have been
   completely infatuated
    with someone  
     or entirely immersed
     in sadness,
   but that doesn’t mean
that’s how you feel now
or how you’ll feel forever
and i fear that people forget that,
  i fear we fail to remember
   that emotions are not permanent
    and maybe that’s why
     her stomach hurts
    when she thinks about
   the girls in his life
  before her
  or why i’m reluctant
   to share old poems
    because i don’t want anyone
     to think that’s how i feel today
    so maybe we should start asking
   “how are you?” more often
     and stop accepting
      the default “i’m okay.”
       and maybe we should start
      caring more about
    what people say now,
   instead of dwelling on
  words of the past