draw me a path,
that leads me straight to you
paint the moon
into the sky, so i can see
the road ahead of me
i long to feel your fingertips
ghost on my skin,
reminding me this is real
my hands clasp on sheets
as i try desperately to sleep
while nightmares threaten to take over
the stars and moon will align,
a thin tread will always lead me back to you
I took my step down at age sixteen
it brought with it this misunderstanding.
With motives evaded with each hit I choke
to effortlessly escape toke after toke,
Now every single dollar that is spent
is thrown to a worthless and selfish intent.
Something's got to give, for heaven's sake,
maybe then it will be real, laying down the fake.
When did I ever, become so frail
and put up my values in a damn yard sale?
These pills have caused me to lose all salvation
and led me down a path of desperation.
I'll rip my heart out in a bloody slaughter
and place it there upon any alter.
Just give, just give me, some peace of mind,
so I can finally see life through eyes that are blind.
My son's words to one of his songs.
Miss him so much, but he's finally at peace.
© 2011 Loe
Fast forward, fast forward because life moves on
I now turn the page as a new chapter is born
Its like the winds of change have finally come
Like a cleansing rain or the morning sun
Fast Forward, because life moves on
I will share my heart and love once more
Old memories will fade as new loves last
And I will look forward and never back
Fast forward, because life moves on
My heart is now healed my scars are now gone
The future in focus and I can see the light
Its a path now taken to a bright new life
Fast forward because life, well because life moves on
Carl J. Roberts
Bloody in its love-making, heartbreak is a stoner.
Clouds and pillars, all of smoke, are cradled in my hands.
And dreams blur with reality, and what-ifs with what’s happening.
These wheels turn like poison bicycles, gears shifting in my mind.
“Baby” being whispered in the past and in my chest,
The tides are never ending, and drowning is the game.
Be careful on the sidewalk, don’t step on a crack;
Luck is to being in love as superstition is to the aftermath.
Shine my shoes and comb my hair, am I getting anywhere?
It’s hard to love yourself after that was someone else’s job.
Your silhouette is down the path and I’m still here and staring.
The clouds are green and I’m alone, rose-less with remembering thorns.
Maybe we’re all just snowflakes; nothing more than crystallized water from above, doomed to finally land and melt into nothing. We are snowflakes, plowed and pushed by what is bigger so that we may be out of its way. We are all falling through a path fated from the start with a fluffy and slow descent, and an ending we all see coming. Thousands fall each minute, and each one is unique. But we’d never know if a snowflake four miles away is identical or not. Who could prove it? They tell us that is the truth, so we catch it on our tongues and swallow down the minuscule truth. We are snowflakes. And it makes me sad.
To the dock at midnight,
solitary moonlight path upon the bay,
to worship, to tread, star touching, that being
Disrobed, it seemed apropos,
Totally out of character, ashamed,
Pressed my body into the black sky suede,
Words, of my issue, but not my styling,
Broke apart, watched each letter uprising.
Stars and moon conference-called,
Coat the boy's words with the fragrance of
We are not super-centric, sun-greedy,
We are easy satisfied,
A simple haiku will suffice.
Five seven five once.
Do it well, our son.
1:10 AM Monday Morning
And as I thought of you,
a single teardrop slowly fell
from my tired eye.
And I soon realised,
that I was that single teardrop,
in the way that it also felt
alone, weak, lost.
I leaned my head slowly to the left,
so that the teardrop would run,
and change it's path.
Avoiding the cheek that you once touched,
avoiding the thought that you once loved.
Walking down the left hand footpath, a dry heavy dusk beginning in the midst of a blasting summer.
The buildings are an adobe kind of thatch, but modern, with some big square four storey clunkers amongst them. I’m near the edge of the inner city, it is opening out into a smoother, more human kind of chaos. The people are moving with a little more freedom. With a bag-snatch-on-bicycle kind of flow.
I have a Chinese-made ak47 in my hands with a wooden stock. I don’t know what to do with it; I slide it under my long coat, wherever either of these came from.
I am temperate and comfortable, maybe the sky is a little bluer now and the colours are darkening. Carefully drifting along.
Feeling currents of deep panic, energized in the pavement, beneath the tread of my steps. This is a land ready, silently waiting for its return to birth and I don’t know what the fuck to do.
An atm is across the road, one person attending it, one person attending them. I sense the inner city sort of chaos and I don’t know what the fuck, to do. I check the ak and tuck my chin down, keep walking. I pass the silent mugging, fearful, feeling weak, trying not to have seen a thing. But I did see, and the mugger had an ak, folded into his coat.
The town is breaking up, smaller roads. Sandy houses now grey blue, some high walls, huts, caravans, some quarter acres of settled dust with some piles of smashed shopping trolleys and banana boxes and even more people. It’s cooling now, they’re moving more quickly, crossing in front of me either with pensive glances or staring straight ahead and accelerating, breaking into a run with powerlust in their eyes, reaching into their jackets..
Something’s happening. I meet with scared eyes and share half motions and half sentences. Loosely gathering, still moving as if not connected, happenstancing across each other’s paths. Backs turning away, looking outward, turning in, milling. Falling to the left or to the right of unity, water molecules with aks, sensing danger, nondescript, avoiding detection. Waves of sprinters fly through us and fleet away, through and around us and the huts and houses, over the walls and yes, into the night.
Mobs. In wider land, sprinting through it with a kind of purity and an unfathomable but absolute purpose. Forming swelling and closing braids of curved laser beams in their paths through the terrain as I see them for a moment from a balloon, up in the cool sky.
Nothing solved, night falls and sleep comes cramped in a caravan. A tiny bastion of nothing much whatsoever with nothing known and nothing discussed, surrounded by flowing, energizing swarms.
It is a blinding, bright morning. The caravan is a little in the distance, six or seven sprinters are in front of and around me. They stare at me with intent, waiting. I could take three, I wish, I want to think. But they’d still catch me, wear me down, turn me. I put the ak in my mouth. No blame. And yet after the shot, the first shot I have fired with the thing, nothing ends. The bullet has lifted out the back of my skull; there is a deaf searing heat above my nape. My eyelids are weighted but not closed. The sprinters are still standing around, staring. There is a rich Rothko black above ruby and I wait. An electric surge of hallucinogenic twisted warmth bolts and bonds directly to my groin as I observe the ruby Rothko. It is ridiculous and I wait. I always knew these silly, stupid things. Stumbling over rose bushes and cracking my head on a cool concrete path. Telling lies and staring at stars
I sensed the pureness and innocence
in your sacred space
A passion I haven't felt in a long time
I saw a part of me in you
I've never met someone I felt affinity to before
But after a while you ended up on a that path, the one they manipulate everyone to go to
You've lost your authenticity
You are now a puppet under their spell
You are letting your beautiful heart be consumed by darkness and evil
This is not who you are, I know because I felt the real you
Everyone is born pure and innocent, with a heart ready to love all
Please don't let it take you
I got sucked in for a while, died a little inside
Lost, and confused in emptiness
I focused on healing myself and let the love and light enter my heart again
I want to one day remind you to really see and feel
the light and pureness of unconditional universal love that is within you
so many of them
no longer can it be seen
where does it all go
my path like a maze
to many walls
so few doors
my mind like a puzzle
one peace at a time
can it be solved
or is it lost forever
by scarlet rose