The city sleeps alone tonight
Alone again, between black sheets
Tomorrow night she will shed her cloak
And become a harlot
Donning the gaudy jewelry
Of neon signs and lit cigarettes

When will this stop?
You stop?
I stop?
I'm tired of fighting
Of trying
To make you understand
God, I beg you
Make us understand
If I'm at fault then let it be
If you at fault, then forgive me
Has my violent love provoked her anger?
Memories of lullabies I sang her?
If there is something I can do
To prove to them Your words are true
That my intentions were of right
And not the coldness of the night
That she claims is in my heart
As if she's not known me all of life
Am I the one who has changed for the better, the worse?
Or is her pain the cause of all this strife?
I know that we are both at wrong
And yet, she only hears her song

Childhood innocence
What a beautiful thing
Back when Papa was a super hero
Mama tucked you into bed every night
And getting high, was something you did with a swing
Everything was exciting and new
Imaginations ran wild
That run down shack in the woods?
A castle, perfect for games of war

Adolescence was miserable
Such a horrible time
Papa wasn't there; the bar was his domain
Mama smoked to much and cried herself to sleep every night
And pills were popped every night, just to survive
It was so hard to find a smile
Everything seemed empty and fake
And that shack in the woods?
Used now only for the least personal kind of date

High school's end was a blessing
Though its a surprise you made it out alive
Papa was gone, he never even called
And mama was drunk, she couldn't handle it all
Living such a burden, so hard for you to do
Life seemingly hopeless, no joy around for you
So you went back to that shack in the woods, for the very last time
And left this world behind you, one pill at a time

I was just the intern with burning red cheeks always trying to say
something quirky yet sophisticated
always rocking on the balls of my feet
happy to lick your envelopes
press your stamps against my manilla folders

we were all speaking one day about parents
I brought mine up a lot to signify my determined love for them
and I noticed you had a picture of a young girl on your file cabinet
she was pretty

You spoke of your son and what a fuck up he was
but you didn’t say that you only whispered it with a practiced sighing grin
and to lighten the mood I asked what your daughter was up to
only to have you respond in the most concrete comment with commas after every word
that she was murdered

I would have liked to tell you
because my arms were aching and my mind was straining
and I wanted you to feel better
and I wanted to feel better
I wanted to sneak little letters into your ear at night that spelled out
it’s ok
and
my daughter was murdered too
but my daughter was not
I do not have a daughter
and now neither do you

Cascading madness takes hold
(My crazy romantic heart's been sold)
To the queen from faraway

Sold my soul for a smile today

We try to keep clean
(if you know what I mean…)
Above the waist
But this relational bullshits got a bitter taste

Freedom with no strings
(yeah, it's one of those things…)
One night stand at hand
But the torn heart is sometimes too hard to mend

Drinking and smoking to excess
(Drugs were during recess)
I had a drink, I didn't think
But now I've taken us to the brink

To late
To lazy
…But they never thought we could make it anyway

-Azrael Always James
© Copyright 2013

I’m so tired but mostly from you
I am tired of other things too
By other things, too
You are not the only thing on my mind
but you take up most of the vacancy
and everything else is pushed to the sides and pressing against my ears
christ I can hardly hear

I am so sore but I keep walking like my shoes aren’t too tight
like my dress looks fine
like it’s not riding up the back of my butt and exposing my ass for all the city to see
this is not happening instead I am busy slideshowing myself
the first time we met then the second time we met
then I am fast forwarding to when we first had sex and how I was so loud
your grandma hated me after that

I am so busy but the papers keep stacking
and I’m just some filthy college slut who can hardly handle her final critiques
all I want to do is call you and hope you’ll eagerly pick up
or even want to pick up
or even pick up
but instead all that is between us is a missed call that I can’t take back
and a bunch of papers that I have to examine with amazing skill
I know I don’t have

I should get my priorities straight, the bathub is grimy
my nails are bloody
my grandmother is sick
I am not a kid anymore and you are not my boyfriend
and what we had was really quite terrible and how
dare I sentimentalize a kiss on the cheek or a squeezing of hips to mean
that you promise to love me eternally how dare I act as though I am fourteen
with braces of steel and a heart made of mush and a brain filled with lies from
dramatized shows flickering in my room in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and my periods heavy and my arms are too fat along with my thighs and I’m thinking of true love and when I’ll get that

It’s quite hard to concentrate
the cement has cracks
my forehead is sweaty and my face is red
it is hot outside and wish you were here to lick the sweat off my chest and boldly say
“does that feel good baby”  but you’d say it in such a boyish way but I would still get turned on but I hate you now because I am too busy for you to be all over my mind when I have other things to do it’s all your fault if I fail out of college it’s all your fault if I don’t get the masters program I wanted and it’s all your fault I can’t concentrate at all
the sky is gray and work is shitty and the missed call is still pending and blinking and buzzing on your phone
I’m sure you notice it and I’m sure you’re home and free and able to see that
calling me back would make me happy
I shouldn’t have called I shouldn’t have called I shouldn’t have called god!
you haven’t been in my bedroom in over a month
and I haven’t cried either
and I haven’t gossiped about you to any of my friends
the paint is wet on the canvas
and my jaw is clenched
and I am thinking of you and that is all

The city streets of Cleveland were cluttered with hate filled riots
Night skies glowed orange with piping mills at U.S. Steel
Lake Erie was a stagnant pond floating toxicity
Yet 3047 Wilson Street was the house with curb appeal.

A decade of harsh winters was the time that I spent there
Daddy's cancer took him away at age thirty-three
Yet in his suffering he made a plan for me
That included a move to the mountains of Tennessee.

He must of known the mountains would bring healing
To the brokenness of girl slightly shy of thirteen
It was at bedtime the hills would whisper his goodnights
Resting my anxious mind and bringing peaceful dreams.

Safety rested on every road and in each rolling pasture
Stars filled the darkest skies and the streams were pristine
My home rested at the end of a bending hollow
With a swing on the porch picturesquely primitively serene.

For this, and too numerous the reasons
I cling to the hills when I've lost all sense of me
For in them my questions are answered
In them I regain my sanity.

Soft pads glide over silky pale flesh
Deep pools of ocean green become darker with passion
Every touch brings the storm closer to the  couple
The raven haired God like man looks over every millimeter
Her face flushes at the feelings building inside

Her black waist corsette pushes her ivory globes teasingly near
the point of spilling forth
Dark red tendrils lift off delicate cheek bones tickling her face
Her belly flutters as tiny goose bumps raise against her arms

The soft padded fingers begin to explore this creature who has walked
right into his trap.
Long lashes lift revealing startling violet eyes
His breath catches harshly
He does not seem to realize he is under her spell as she remains in his trap

Julia's body is burning as Allen's fingers and hands weave an inferno built only by his touch
Her body responds as she feels the moisture begin to gather between her sweet petals
Trying not to move lest she give away the affect he has upon her

Allen watches her eyes noting how they seem to change to grey
His thumb slides across the bud covered by material yet
It cannot hide the obvious desire as the tender flesh hardens and a soft mewl escapes pouty lips

Julia begins to blush as her body betrays her mind
Allen chuckles at her discomfort
His hands and fingers seem to set her on fire every place they touch
She feels his knee prod gently at the apex of her thighs.
Moving slightly his knee grinds against the promise land

Flames fall back as her head follows suit
Sweet moans reach his ears inciting his passion more
Her hips move against his thigh trying to increase the friction
Allen rips the cumbersome corsette and shirt free allowing cool air
to kiss her flesh where his tongue wishes to follow

Pressure builds within the lust filled redhead, she digs nails into his shirt
pulling him closer.  
Allen's tongue swirls around first one then the other swollen bud
Dragging his teeth hard over the delicate flesh
Julia cries out as desire spins out of control.

Allen begins pulling the nipple into his feverish mouth suckling
Then biting as fingers pinch and pull the other
Julia grinds down hard on His thigh not paying attention to the moisture that stains his pants

She stiffens when she feels his hand pull her dress up allowing his fingers
to slide through her dew laden petals
The smell of need permeates the air
As his mouth continues to suckle then bite his fingers slam deep inside her
silky soaked lips

Julia's legs quiver when his fingers fill her well it is almost her undoing her screams of pleasure fill the air
Allen brings her to the edge filling her deep with long fingers
Releasing her nipple he begins to kiss and nip her neck fingers coated in honey slow down

Julia growls in frustration and he bites her neck hard just as fingers pinch her clitoris
She holds her breath panting as the inferno increases hotter
Both are sweating now as she begs him to allow her to fly
Allen chuckles whispering "not yet Lil vixen"

She grinds down on his fingers trying to take what she wants
He is wise to her movements stopping abruptly until she realizes he
won't continue unless she stops

Suddenly out of nowhere she is turned over his lap where he brings his hand down ten times fast and hard cross her ass
His  knee lined up so each swat digs into her wetness
Crying out she bites her lip willing herself to not release

He pushes her to the ground and starts biting the tender buds while pulling and twisting that hardened flesh that has swelled past it's hood
Pace becomes faster as he growls in her ear to fuck his fingers
She does so with wild abandon

His teeth bite down hard on her neck licking the area he bites
His fingers curve up as she grinds
Allen growls out NOW as his mouth finds her lips
Crushing them to his, catching her screams of pleasure
Her well explodes in spasms gripping his fingers hard enough to break

Julia quivers all over from the massive release, blushing as she remembers
her response to all he did
Allen drags His well manicured nails across her blistered half moons
Hearing her moan loudly, knowing he could send her spiraling just by spanking her once more.

Julia ducks under fiery curls trying to escape his scrutiny
Allen knows what she is up to and pulls the silky curls away
Lifting his soaked hand from between gorgeous thighs
Placing fingers between their lips kissing sand licking her juices off
The taste on his lips brings a feeling of decadence through Julia

They will meet again Allen said
Julia watched as he left her there hearing a car start
Now nothing but silence and the smell from her traitorous body

Whispering to the darkness
"Please return to me soon"


Written by:  Jennifer Humphrey
May 23, 2013

You...
You make me want to write
In my head...
Arranging words and sound,
Smoky air...
Heart sees, for a minute...
I want to write you.

You...
You make me want to sing
In the night...
The brilliant words I've found,
Soulful air...
Ears hear, for a minute...
I want to sing you.

You...
You make me want to cry
In the rain...
Your poetry surrounds,
Sacred air...
Soul aches, for a minute...
I want to hear you.

You...
You make me want to love
In the world...
Choruses so profound,
Lyrical air...
Life lives, for a minute...
I want to be you.