I lay here open
Open to possibilities and opportunities that present themselves for me with you
But i Can't seem to break through this wall I have put up
A wall made jus for me to protect and keep me from harmful situations
Many contemplations about how am I gonna get through this again
So I kept building and building on my personal wall
Yeah see I built this wall with pain over and over and over
A lil dab of betrayal
A pinch of some scorn
Oh and shovel full of layers of scar tissue covered with stitches for recovery
Yeah I built this wall meticulously
I would sometimes feel like I'm a guest
Sometimes like an outsider in my own skin
Moving along like a night rider
Nobody seeing me or believing me
So I carry some heavy footgear
Holding them in my rear stow away I use it to move along through life without any scars, or that's what I try to do
This footgear feels great because I can stomp, jump, and even do cartwheels over all my enemies
Shindy misleadings all leading up to my success
Leaving me blessed
Riding along this pack train saying hello mufasa and simba
Oh and rifiki is there
See I admire their strength and agility
I even know who continues to keep me
A higher power and His name is Jesus
Love Him to pieces
But someone came outta nowhere
Out From left field Try to catch the Foul ball
Jumping over bases and even some left field men
Trying to Break through my wall
Shining some light on my night rider journey
Complicated feelings taking many meanings
My head is spinning
Fear rising...leaving me paralyzed even though I still feel your touch when I'm away from you
I'm scared...even some what terrified that I lie here and all I can think of is you
Wondering if my brain waves can send out a signal over to you so that you know how I feel
See night riders they don't open up
Sign on the door...
No more customers...the day is over
See We ride in the dark
Trying to keep feelings secret
A loner when it comes to sharing emotions
Commotion on the inside but calm on the outside
But maybe you can be my knight in shinning amour breaking down my walls
Chipping and chipping away through all the dust and the rumble
I may even stumble over you but at least I'll be in your arms
Feeling safe through your touch that even peels away some of the hurt
So right now I may be a night rider but I'm moving towards the horizon that is the beginning of some light
Born you are to sing,
Turbid future beckoning
And your past, it seems, is urging,
This new melody emerging
Circumscribed by your death,
Consecrated from first breath,
This perpetual contortion,
Your vociferous misfortune,
Is the sonorous reprisal to the silence and the night
In seraphic orchestration,
Past is settled, future sanctioned,
Though a voice belongs to you,
It is through harmony construed,
But these manifold vibrations,
Every violent incantation,
Every note new sung must blossom, languish,
Now your open wound is bleeding,
Life's full bloom, with haste, receding,
Each maenadic spasm leads you,
Life begins again,
So if a myriad of mellifluous moments multiplies,
Anticipate its inhumation 'neath the sediment of time,
For as the song to flourish wills each note meet its demise,
The singer is unravelled in a death he lives, but can't surmise
All day I
of the night
When I will
lie next to you
pull you close
and fit the
You and I,
With fireflies, whizzing by our eyes
Lights out, moonlight
A blazing fire, a warmth in my throat
Sipping bottled stars
The bubbles and the tingles
The night is young, we say, the world is ours
You take my hand oh so softly
And there on that step
I really tasted the stars,
Like a big ol' slice of the sun
That same tingle on your skin as mid-summer day
And I was awake and alive
Among the dark halls and the fairy lights,
Up in the cupboard far away
We created our very own, private Milky Way
there will be nights
where i’ll stumble home, drunk,
in a dress clinging to me like a second skin.
with heels in my hand
getting down on my knees in front of the toilet
wrapping my arms around its porcelain neck
greating it like a friend or a past lover.
whispering apologies after vomiting my sorrows
down its throat.
There will be a time when i won’t remember
the faces i drove home with late at night.
or the ones i loved so dearly
and spent many sleepless nights
sobbing miserably over.
there will be boys i will ache for.
boys my mother warned me about
and my father keeps a knife in the drawer for.
boys whose names taste of smoke and regret.
who will leave in the morning
and i’ll never hear from again.
there will be times where i’ll lose myself
during the darkest hours of the night
and only you
will bring me back to reality.
and if you find me in that state
just hold me whilst i weep.
There's been a murder, a woman was killed,
found in a bathtub, partially filled.
A pair of policemen went into the house
and questioned the poor woman's spouse.
He'd just come home from working all night
and found her like that, a terrible sight.
The younger policeman looked on with dismay.
He'd never forget that terrible day.
He saw the young woman from behind the door
and empty milk cartons all over the floor,
Scattered strawberries, slices of fruit,
and spoonfuls of sugar and honey to boot.
''Who could have done this terrible thing?''
His voice had a horrified, pitiful ring.
''Just look at the clues,'' replied Sergeant Miller.
''It looks like the work of a cereal killer.''
I thought I saw a ghost last night,
a goblin or a ghoul,
an ugly little creature
oozing salivary drool.
It had an eerie figure
and a huge gigantic nose.
It wasn’t wearing sneakers
and was minus all its clothes.
It hovered through my bedroom
as I tried to catch some z’s.
It appeared to have a lesion
or a facial skin disease.
I rubbed the sleep from both my eyes
and loomed a little nearer.
I knew what I had seen
was just my image in the mirror.
Silent sobbing still after years passed,
After seeing you once, and that wasn't enough.
Sobbing louder now as I remember,
Just the way we loved,
Wholly and Honestly.
No choice left but to settle for the
Numbing caresses of others, of
Ones who see right through.
Without pausing to consider
Who I am.
I recall vividly that first night,
when you asked everything of me and
You, know it all, wanted to know it all,
So, I shared all.
But, I still lost you,
Along with parts of me and
The search continues, although
Some fragments have re-appeared.
Damned, ungrateful me,
Who met you unprepared.
The fears were all too heavy then.
Please forgive me, now.
Who is this boy?
Why does He
Day and night,
Stealing my happiness
Kinda like the tooth fairy,
Collecting what's left of my
Then leaving behind
A little gift
Another way to die
Another reason to die,
I just hope that the reasons I have to stay alive
Will stay strong and not just
A silk and cotton stuffed pillow is now on my bed,
I use it at night to rest my tired and weary head.
How strange it feels lying awake upon it,
Inner laced fingers on my chest, hand on heart,
And then, my all-time favorite…
I fold my arms into the shape of the letter X.
I fantasize I am dead every night and I do it for just a bit,
The only part I do not like is…
Is when I fall asleep in the middle of doing it.
Fluffing it here and fluffing it there,
I try and give it much respect
Rapid eye movement sleeping eyes do detect
Daily nightmare’s approaching and one’s that just don’t care
Forever now on my mattress you will find it there….