The first time I kissed you
My head spun.
It kept spinning all night.
I've never had to be careful about someone
But when you kiss me
I need to remind myself that
Is a thing.
I am getting better at remembering
That you are not all there is
But there is still this one moment
When you first lean in
And I realize
I have lost my sense of everything except you
And I pull myself back a little,
Not because I care what happens to me
But because I want to keep kissing you
And to do that
It's possible I'll need air.
what I need
is you to
tell me what
I want everything
to make believe.
I know that we
will die together;
will be weathered.
or for better.
I know forever
but 7 letters.
I know I never
I could forget her.
A dynamic life
That's what I've always wanted
And it seems to be what I've ended up with
It's such a thing to look back and see how far I've come from where I was
I needed to believe in progress
When I was younger
And learned about Siddhartha
I became so inspired
I finally knew what to go after
The cure to these insufferable thoughts
Some sort of consistency between what was real and what was not
No one ever told me about the side effects
Nietzsche was always after me
Plato trying desperately to show me the trees
Capitalism challenging me to determine the difference between what I want and what I need
The side effects:
I couldn't tell the difference from one person to the next
The opposite of dynamic is static
I've grown numb by the shock of every time I encounter it
How can you be so dense?
How can you not see?
There's very little difference between you and me
Sometimes I feel mad
I get so angry
The side effect of pursuing enlightenment
Nature heals all
A gentle breeze can
lift the negative thoughts
The soothing waters
Can bring solace
To those in need
Supplements the transition
From your past self to your new self
And it is through Fire
That you are reborn,
Unchained to your troubled passed
Free to start a new life.
I want to dive deep
Into the ocean,
just to disappear for a while.
Maybe even forever...
no one there would judge or know me
i like being lonely..
At least i could be a little happy
This pain i can no longer bare
Empty feelings in my heart
i need a breath of fresh air..
running away is never
the answer it just creates
more problems like cancer..
You have to fight the pain in order to survive to gain.
the way the water
sways my body back
& forth east by north.
Just to lose myself in it,
Forget all the
lies guys arised
& to start living
freely with no feelings.
so the stars can project
straight through my ceiling
into the depths of my
heart listening to music..
the rave is where out hearts collide
that little pill it does us well
my lips my skin my blood it searches for you
your touch your breathe your heat
next to you i have no clue about anything for you
these lights they guide us where we need to be
the beat i feel radiate off our bodies
those colors are my ever changing soul
my safety with you is special
as if i had any other clue
the rave is where we come alive
the rave is how we continue to survive
why does love have to start and end so quickly?
My heart has always been for you
See those stars, I see those in your eyes.
You light the sky,my world
We started growing together then rotted apart
How have our seeds parted ways
how do we get back to where we were?
Nights like this I lay thinking of you I wonder if you out there too
My dream is you why wont you make that come true?
Your words hurl rocks at me but I run to you for shelter.
You were always supposed to keep me close not hurt me
You are what I need but is it what I want ?
Many can change but how do I know this is true?
This storm has come many times and I have never found safety.
My heart is aching for you, how do I know if its too soon...
I thought I knew
What being a man meant
I was way off
I thought it meant
You can fight
Defend your self
I was wrong
Now I see what it means
To be a man
To be there for your woman
To be there for her baby
If they need something
They call you
Working every day
Making them happy
That's what a man does
That's what make a man
Not fighting for you
But for them
It's all about them
That's what man is
What I want to do for her
Ill put my needs aside
Put my wants aside
I love them
More than anything
Ill do anything for them
This I swear
Ask me anything.
My soul is yours to inspect with your finger-tip-tapping on flat-screen cell-phone, I phone, you phone and I’ll say, ask me anything.
Ask me if I cry myself to sleep at night and I’ll say, "...maybe."
Ask me if I like that boy and I’ll fake smile at you through computer screens,
Hiding whatever true feelings I have left to cling to.
Ask me if I think I’m beautiful, and I will respond with a detailed analysis of everything you have ever convinced me is wrong with my body and my appearance. I will tell you that I need some thinspiration, that I’ve really got to hit the gym more than three times this week, and I really shouldn’t take sugar with my coffee.
Ask me if I’m friends with Sarah, or Michael, or Brittany;
I’ll cringe as I type out forced words of admiration, knowing they’re together laughing curses at their phones reading whatever I have to say about this question.
Ask me if I fucked the quarterback of the football team, saying you heard it from someone who heard it from everyone else and I’ll respond a quiet “no...,” fingers and arms shaking, knowing full well I’ve never been more involved with a boy than ballroom dancing in the eighth grade that I’m too afraid of letting anyone in, let alone into my body, after the hands of a family friend went a little too far and got a little too friendly.
Ask me if I have any friends. At this point, I’m not sure how to answer you. I thought I had a friend in you and all the rest but a rogue rumour wrecked it all and now none of you are rushing to my side to help me back up from the fall.
I thought I’d have a friend in myself but it seems that I’ve lost faith and have found no reason to love who I have been to molded be.
Ask me to do the world a favour. Ask me to get lost. Ask me to cut my veins open and watch them bleed. Ask me if I like the taste of bleach. Ask me if I have a rope and chair handy. Ask me to die.
I’m sorry, I won’t be here to answer you.
This sounds much better read aloud. Maybe I will post on youtube or something. Not sure. We do poetry slams in creative writing class and I think I'll present this, seeing as it actually has some emotion.
Your my drug that i need
the substance of Love is an addictive drug.
one dose is never enough.
My heart races every time i hear your voice
thoughts come rushing in like waves on the shore
(One beat, two)
i crave it in my mind, body and soul.
it takes a toll on me leaving me weakened by his words.
(Three beats, four)
Stories he told that didn't add up.
it just made me crave him more.
(Five beats, six)
To hear his voice whisper sweet nothings
in my ear.
i always felt like he was
throwing darts at my heart aiming to kill
i forgave over and over again
hoping one day he'd change and the pain would end
(Seven beats, eight)
Those words i use to hold so dear, now gone
Deep into the ocean they went along with those dark eyes i resent
(Nine beats, Ten ... . .)
So i ask you, where were your emotions
when we were together?
Buried deep in your mind or just known but hard to find in an ocean?