Darling I love
Darling life sucks
Darling I hate you
Darling, am I enough?
Darling, I'm sorry
Darling, why don't you miss me?
Darling, I'm in love
Darling, I'm sorry
Darling, I miss you a lot.
Darling, I need you closer
Darling, I think too much of you
Darling, I lost without you
Darling, I'm sorry
Darling, I will try to don't bother
Darling, I want you.
Darling, good night.
I wish I was a lighter I
that touched the clouds as they rolled by
and on the wings of joy I'd fly
far into the bluest sky
I wish that I had held it strong
held it true as we went along
and when the night came I was brave
and fought the shadows from my cave
But I lost my heart one day
in your smile as you drove away
and madness then consumed my mind
I was wrong, I was blind
because in you hope I saw
false as every time before
and I tried to cage you like a bird
with writing out my pretty words
I wish I was as cold as snow
cooled beneath an arctic wind
with frozen blood that could not feel
and no need to make me heal
I wish that I could see the lies
wedged with wires in my mind
I was not yours and you weren't mine
We are angels of a different kind
I wish that I could fix this mess
my insanity made my deeds digress
because its hard to let go of someone I touched
who told me that she loved me much
If I could go and fix the past
and make it better, make it last
I would be my closest friend
a hero that won in the end
But time can't bend back to repair
it's sealed and done forever there
and we are all just broken clocks
chained within and sealed with locks
And you were just a passer by
on a break, saying hi
And I was looking for a missing piece
or maybe just some pain relief
I've been unfair and been unkind
you did not deserve to see my despair
but you responded with human care
I think somehow you understand
And I will be well in the end
as I always get up again
and I'll try to leave this emo shit
it's a bit of an embarrassment
I will listen, if you have something not nothing to say that can grab my attention
like a bear snatching salmon, I will listen to the information you chain together
and sprinkle into the air if that sprinkle can sparkle
However, If that sprinkle cannot sparkle yet is sprinkled nonetheless, I will smoothly acquiesce
stealing my future time and progress, to hearing your sprinkled nonsense.
For words left unheard can stain one’s terrain,
inside their mind where vulnerable thoughts formulate
and like a club they congregate They seep through every crack
and they weep with all the lack, of strength and inner willpower you solemnly accept is not there.
But you’re dreadfully wrong! Enough force to move mountains lies within your bag of tricks
yet you’re still focusing on a whining stair you need to fix.
The whine in the coal mine echoing for days
it’s been your voice all along finding its way through the maze,
of minerals and fears buried in the rubble, excavating through has been causing you some trouble.
Breathe as if this oxygen is sweet and pure, breathe as if you feel relief and sure
Patience wafts inside you not causing a stir, but in content, a peaceful breeze, an all knowing powerful cure.
I will never get married because marriages don't last.
Being a product of divorce blows big chunks all the time.
You tell your parents how you feel and they say
"we will discuss it dear" but they never do it.
My mom was always on her cell phone talking her
tmi friend who tells all and how she and strangers
she meets placing personals have fun in her boudoir.
Don't reach for a thesaurus means her bedroom.
It's gross trying to get ready for classes and hearing
your mom talk about sex and big boob plastic surgery
she wants to get to keep her girly figure right and tight.
I got body image issues due to her can't stop looking
for flaws and wrinkles dumb ass mental complexes.
Need therapy much dumb and vain mother?
Could be why dad found a younger version of you
in evil bitch clone he lives with who loves his fat wallet.
No way can that someone with a hot bod want his
gray hair with more than one bald spot and flabby abs.
He works out but he's got a bod that quit even when
he spends hours exercising at the gym and dancing
trying to be my age saying old shit getting jiggy with it.
I think Kill me now when he says that and I hate my life.
I feel messed up in the head because my parents hate
who they are and I hate myself most days because that's
what I learned from them. Should I go out and have
sex with as many men as mom and her friends? Should
I meet guys off the internet like mom now does? Should I
meet a man who will take care of me like the woman
dad is with who loves his fat wallet and great job
and be the kind of woman my dad likes? Would dad
be proud if I wanted surgery to get huge boobs like vain mom?
Would mom care if I had sex with a guy in the back of
his pick up like she bragged to her friend about? Would
my teachers care if I sat in the back and cheated like the
girl who gets answers from tests in exchange for quickies
in cars during lunch. She is tardy for the party and class
a lot. Teachers don't notice what's happening in schools
and they don't freaking care if I study my ass off
to get the same grades and I don't sleep with all the jocks.
Maybe I should because I'm messed up in the head at 18 and
nobody cares about me but me and that's a short list.
Have friends but they have some of the same body
issues and mental ones like me. I'm messed up in the
head because I get accused of having sex and I'm still
a virgin but thinking about giving up the goods to
the one I met through personals. He wanted to cmid and
I proved I'm legal. On the fence about giving away my
virginity. Too damned bad my mother and dad are
busy and have mental issues and have no time for the
girl they dressed up when she was a tyke but forgot about
when she needed a training bra.
My mind cannot comprehend
The quickness of the speed
Of time as it passes
As more of time we need
The sun rises up each morning
And a day anew begins
Then the sun will set
And the day anew, it ends
The morning came so silent
As a promise new and stark
Then silently disappeared
Into the black of dark
Another day to quickly gone
Now the days have turned to years
With more behind than ahead
And eyes now dimmed with tears
He fired cannons until the dogs barked, and then he would shoot one more just in case a chihuahua missed the first 5 shots and still wanted to join in on the chorus. He owned fate and destiny, they did not own him. So much that he could pull me through time and have everything his way. He spoke a language no one in town knew and it made him lonely that no one even tried to understand, but by god I am trying to understand...but it takes time, he is not just from around the corner. I have never felt the tug of mischief and spontaneity so strongly as I did when he pulled my arm. I was in love with another boy, but if I had had my heart on me I would have given it to him that night, and then asked for it back in the morning. I know he would not have known what to do with it for much longer than that, he might misplace it and i don't want that. He doesn't need to feel guilty for anything. I want to tell him thanks for stirring my soup before I boiled over, but I couldn't tell him that without wishing that he would stick around to try a spoonful.
Someone said I'm a so so writer and I'm not that good.
The words didn't offend me and I'm working at improving.
Here's the short list of what I'd like to do with and for you.
I embrace words most need to look up and love when you use them.
Sit back and read this poem I wrote and hope you like.
I'd like to take you for a long walk on a long pier.
I know you have difficulties walking without pain
so we take it slow and stop as much as you required.
I'd like to talk to you for hours using intelligent words.
I'd like to gift you long love poetry written on parchment paper.
I'd like you to write poetry for me using a King's English.
I LOVE it when you use words found in a thesaurus!
I like the way you make poetry writing easy breezy.
I'd like to get to know you better face to face and use our words.
I've heard speak and I love hearing the sound of your voice.
I would love it if you called me and said you want to hear me breath.
I'd like you to write and sing a song just for me one day.
I'd like to know your favorite perfume and gift it to you.
I'd like you to paint a portrait of me and I'd hang it on my wall.
I'd like to know what you do when you're off net.
I wont follow you around town to discover where you go.
I'd like to know your secrets if you wanted to share them.
I'd like to know your favorite foods and prepare them for you.
I read words and know you like being read to and would like to
read works by your favorite authors to you under a shade tree.
I'd like to build a time machine for you to go back in time
to before you lost trust and faith in all men not to hurt you.
I like your long poems and love we share a love of big and small words.
You could be the bird in the D.H. Lawrence poem called "Self-pity"
I like how you inspire me to keep writing poetry and to get better at it.
You make me feel so real
I lay awake at night thinking of you
I close my eyes and see
Do you realize what you do to me?
Why can you not understand me?
I know you like me, but why baby why
What should I do?
Listening to my heart, but it does not
know what to do
Listening to my head, but my head is too jumbled up
I like you, I do, and I need you,
But how long, tell me how long will it last?
Will we ever be friends when it is all over?
I never know when you pretend, do you
Really like me?
When it is over, will we still be forever?
Or never be close ever?
My heart is like a total eclipse to you.
I do the impossible just for you.
The unimaginable and beyond,
I can't cry for stupid stuff,
My heart, my mind, and my soul is forever strong.
I am self-conscious and aware...
I'm not lost nor do I need to be found.
My chest where my heart is, it kind of hurts
My heart isn't locked, I don't need a key.
I've been to the moon and back.
My long journey turned out to be an eclipse towards you.
I'm mentally blocking my emotions towards your kind forever.
No more push and pull,
I don't need you to tell me I'm beautiful
Crushed towards the ground,
Blended and slurred are my thoughts,
I now write my feelings.
No tricks, no more stuck in the mix...
My heart towards you is a complete eclipse.
Skeletal in stature.
Starved of dignity.
Dressed in hanging skin.
Crippled by cruelty.
Terrified desperate fingers clutch the wire fence.
Begging for release from hell.
A convoy of sorrow are led to their demise.
Cruel release unanticipated.
The smell lingered heavy in the dark air.
A collection of souls in need of cleansing.
Needed physical cleansing not.
Perhaps mental release reached.
Sought out by tragic hands.
The shower blocks looked inviting.
To wash away the stench of death.
Filed in horrendously.
The furnace burning hot.
Waiting for another lot.
Let the horrors of the concentration camp not be forgot.
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