slight in some ways
my train is derailed
I swear the tire was flat
there was traffic
and my foot is broken
no one can walk with a broken foot!
I know you want me there and I wish I could
but you in my bed still sounds so strange
I swear I will be in shortly
(right after I visit another
one who I know won't wake up next to me
its better that way)
I heard you the first time
and I said don't wait up for me
I'll be there tomorrow
just let me grow some wings and I will fly there
just let me swallow burning coal and the rails will carry me
just let the traffic die down and I will be on the wheel
just let my foot heal and I will walk all thousand miles
I swear I will be in shortly
I'm coming right back to you
I need to make a few stops along the way
it won't take long
they never last
and I swear I will be in by morning
if not then in for lunch
if not then we can enjoy dinner
if not then I can squeeze in a night cap
I swear I will be in shortly
Love is an action like no other
but sometimes people use it wrong
for each other
But we need to understand what Love really is
It's Jesus christ, the one who took our sins
Your ocean eyes
make it hard to close mine
'cause when I think of you,
and all the things we've been through,
icy blue eyes gaze into mine.
I dreampt of only you,
but now it seems like
wild fire burns away
the image of your face,
the cool image of your ocean eyes.
Once upon a time,
your ocean eyes filled my soul,
and make me want to lie,
but now I don't know how to say this...
I don't need your ocean eyes anymore.
I am pretty broken, in a general sense
You broke my trust, broke my self-worth, broke me, in a gneral sense
And now a couple texts about your problems
How wonderful your friends are
Leaves me wondering why you felt the need to contact me at all
You needed someone to listen, sure
But are you that sadistic, that inhumane,
As to strike up a hard conversation with a girl you have destroyed?
You disgust me
There is no reason for me to "be here," as you so insightfully told me,
And there is no reason to thank me for hating you as I do
Because I really think I might hate you
You broke me, at a time that you were the only person who had the power to do so
And you knew you had that power
And you abused it and hurt me
To save a relationship that was ruined already
I pity you
I pity your friends
And I pity your problems
Because in the long run, they are so damn trivial
And you are going nowhere fast
So thank you for showing me that the one who broke me
Is now worse off than I am
I will be kind and cordial out of pity
But to be honest, you never were worth my time
The basement of my mind.
Cluttered with shit storms and broken promises,
Withered alongside reminiscent daydreams of passed past nightmares.
Into the internal dwellings of my deepest catacomb.
Unable to process what resides in my literal unconscious dungeon.
It's everything i've attempted to hide.
To let dwindle between cobwebs and dust bunnies.
My breath falls short.
Sifting through the residue of forgotten treasures and material shackles.
They bond me.
The unresolved burdens have taken residency within my hindered chakras.
My chest is heavy.
The weight distribution of disappointment is sharper than expected.
It eats away at me.
An elusive daily ritual.
Tucked away it remains far from common thought patterns.
Waves of emotion.
The tides roll in.
Upon their migration my muddled secrets and hidden betrayals are uncovered.
The look in your eyes when they fall upon my frailty.
My internal stack of unfiltered, unregistered, and unassured disheveled boxes.
Full of disheveled useless things.
Covered in a thick layer of problems i'm incapable of handling alone.
It sits unaltered and ever growing.
The remnants of what should have been happiness.
It all falls into misplaced sediments.
I'm a mess.
This murky chamber of unwanted mementos from failed attempts and lost friendships
This dreadful, endless room.
Oh, to live in a home without a storm shelter.
Without room to store unnecessary baggage and all the unclaimed items in my mind.
To find solace in meager living.
All this weight fitting into a backpack.
To minimize my insanity into a carry on.
To be light enough to feel the light.
To escape this cellar.
To release my self from my own idealogical prison.
To penetrate the bars of fear.
To dig myself out from all the things I never want to speak of.
To be free.
Ahhh, to be free.
To breathe fresh air over molded dust clouds and stale particles.
To touch without needing to rinse my soul clean.
To re-stack, rotate, and Tetris these piles of insecurities.
To break habits
that i've reinterpreted from childhood addictions and failed father figures.
To be better than what i've become.
To set fire to this sham of a lifestyle.
To be reborn in the ashes of this outgrown armor.
To let go.
To make you proud.
To find pride in myself.
To not be embarrassed by my place settings and mismatched knick knacks.
To allow souls into my temple without them stumbling into my isolated lunacy.
To welcome love.
To love even the darkest crevasses of my being...
I need to renew my license to live.
Overdue and out of line,
My past self has expired.
One step at a time, breathe.
One box at a time, breathe.
One thought at a time, inhale.
One lust at a time, exhale.
What shall I call you? I do not know your name.
I’ve heard you speak my name in the silent night
The way one hears the blowing wind
Or the rain or the falling leaves.
My heart is heavy, my failures great. The note
Of deep sadness in your voice echoes through me;
I need to see your lips, your face,
To your voice I must give a name.
When you called me
I could not answer.
What shall I call you?
I do not know your name.
Thoughts of you
swirl in my mind,
and remain stagnant in my heart.
Oh, how they haunt me so.
There are so many words
left unsaid by me;
words that may
never reach your ears.
These words would bring
to me much needed solace.
Simply said, they would dissipate
the shadow that
follows me everywhere;
this same dark shadow that makes me
question every step I have made,
and every step I am about to make.
My words left unsaid
will remain as such,
as time is needed
to heal the loss I now feel,
before I can face you and say,
word by word, what I feel -
what I will always feel.
“I love you, I miss you,
and I need you.
I want you in my life.
I am sorry for my indiscretions.”
When these words
have finally been said,
I hope, we both find comfort
in knowing that as your friend,
I will always be there,
wishing you well and
hoping that life fulfills you.
Vicki A. Zinn
I wonder if she knows how lucky she is,
To have you by her side late at night.
I need you,
I want you.
Am stuck with stolen moments.
A few hours here and there.
Stuck in an alternate reality,
where we have all the time in the world.
In my dreams you are mine.
You hold me close and whisper in my ear.
You serenade me in a million ways,
With your touch and words.
I tremble for a moment in your arms.
It's the only place that makes sense.
I can't help loving you.
I fall for you in a million ways,
everytime we steal moments from fate.
Hence was late upstart,yet states and stars with inspiring arts would find,
when much is tripping unto history's past, let i, gaze to charge and bound
weld my fanciful world in heaven's muse: new tunes, does brim in pleasure
Sought Desires in Delphic tunes,an antique taste,my quest's could treasure
Phoebes,by whom admired me curious thoughts,so brawn,this Titan's name,
Outshines some vainly stars,when greatness thus partakes very lyrate fame,
Through olympus in majestic car, through souls these music's godly weed
Wrought refined present's towards mankind true poetry, our's dainty need
when of ken does work,here solely mate,my brain with hasting beam forth,
Like a lately dawn 'scaped from its father's lap,to natures change's breath
therewith some awfull embraces feels; wakes this thoughts from dying lyre,
Nah,not death these things,yet generates fast and show its zeal,and dare.
Sieves thus verses from darkness,life as golden hark do gladly announce
Light's this gift's from Dorians specular driven tones far from years,
The Weather Channel,
Who among us does not have this app,
On their phone, computer, mobile device
Ready for a quick scan..
Odd topic for an essay,
Strange, that your poetic silence
Should be broken this way,
Then again, you didn't inquire,
Or even notice it had gone missing.
Yet the channel of which I write,
Is mobile, and certainly, applies to each of us
But cannot be found on any device but in our hearts..
When we awaken,
The temperature is taken,
A glance upon your visage
Reveals rested or irritable,
Blue clouds or storm warnings,
Better dress appropriately...
But even this is not the forecast
Of which my heart and words speak,,
The whether I need, the thermometer reading,
The barometric pressure that needs knowing,
Measures whether you love me still,
Love me more, love me better,
Than the last poem/day we just wrote/recorded,
The channels we will yet navigate,
The sky we shall observe,
Cloud shapes to design and designate,
A fortune to prognosticate,
Is the sum f the fortunes/forecasts we create daily.
Our weather is our good fortune,
And strangely the forecast is the same daily,
Whether fair or hurricane,
Whether gladdened or pained,
Our forecast, ours,
Our forecast, unique,
Our forecast, let us record it into reality,
When we awaken entangled,
Looking out the window and envision and
Predict our life-scape.