We had come to see him, the aging Tenor sing.
He was as good as he had always been.
But half way through, a woman appeared,
Moving gracefully in bare feet upon the stage.
Entering the ring of bright spot light near him.
Long blond hair, falling loose around her neck,
Held back both sides by Turtle Shell combs,
Reflecting the light.
Adorned in but a simple, low cut black dress,
Her with a face beautiful as a new spring day.
Held in her left hand an ebony hued violin,
Touched fondly, like a well accustomed old friend.
Her right hand holding a bow, ready and waiting.
The Tenor’s and her eyes met and conveyed a message
Only they understood. Then starting slow and low,
The full Orchestra commenced. The woman in black
Brought instrument up to her chin, lovingly resting
her face upon it, as if comforted by it's touch to skin.
The fetching violinist, like a graceful reed,
In summer breeze, began to gently sway,
Laid Bow to strings and a transcended beauty,
The voice of both her Instrument and from within she,
Emerged through her fingers, completely filling the hall.
With eyes closed, the slight movements of expression
On her face registering the feelings the musical notes made,
As if those gestures too, guided the bow's musical cords.
Slender precise fingers lovingly caressing the strings.
For nearly a minute, she and her violin played alone.
Her actions of body, hands and head in concert,
To her music, unavoidably hypnotic it could be said.
The Tenor started to sing, and yet my eyes stayed
Locked on her, as if no one else in the room was there.
The blond woman in the black dress owned the stage.
I have no idea how long that piece of music lasted,
I could not attest to what contribution the Tenor made.
Fully my attention and eventually my heart belonged
To that lovely, evocative young woman in the backless,
Little black dress.
It’s true that I may never see or hear her play again,
I know not, even her name.
And yet, I’m sure that I will never forget those
Few minutes mesmerized by her magical spell.
Hopelessly caught in her enchanting web.
With me sitting, third row, isle seat left,
Worshiping as I did, at her so pretty,
Slightly dirty naked feet, the striking
Blond woman in the black dress.
from a distance, on a train, the street, in a store, or a concert.
Captivated by someone we will most likely never see again.
Enchanted for but a moment? And yet unable to forget.
For me it was this past week at a concert.
Hands feel the integrity
On the path of repairing
Ancient magnetic rain
Poetry and peace go wayward
A box of earth holds my core
The frosted night grants me a kiss
Music begins to play in the perfect stars
A preserved cord with grace on her face
Memories filled with hours of infinite growth
Secure tranquility with a synchronized vow
As flowers seeds begin to flourish I arouse
I caress the stratosphere
I don't know how to feel.
I'll be okay.
Hope is still within' me.
There's just too much to learn how to deal.
It's as if I'm reading the Yellow Wallpaper again.
As she walks around the room, circles, circles.
The paper learning her routine.
My mind taking the same route, man.
Allow me to smile for you;
I'm trying so hard.
And you walked out, holding hands with her.
Don't worry, that was my cue.
Told you I was going to bed.
Both of you.
It's as if my hands were behind my back, bound and tied.
I'm gonna let this week go by.
Music and studies are calling my name.
And you all will see me around, but not for too long.
I'm sorry, it's just all one big lie.
Bein' out in lake
A piece of cake
Don't take eyes
Off the candy
Sweet-tooth'd scaring night
Lounging in floaty ecstatic
Admire the galactic
Traverse through waters
I heard mutters
Hashish-bier thoughts unclear
A welcome of dry land
Pulsation of bass I hear
Naked timid music
Land so dry had drag'd me in
With cold sweating fear
'trek 'r treat mm' dear'
ruby laid back into the scalding water
exhaled as she frowned at the wet remains
of what once was the most perfectly rolled joint
well over an inch left, a small puddle forming
it will be days til it's dry enough to smoke
but she likes the transparency of the paper
and can imagine the crunchy skin glowing again
she's made the water unbearably hot
she slides down
until her head is under the water
thoughts flash by
too quickly to answer
one after the other
she wonders if she can still breathe underwater
like she did when she was a kid
a real mermaid
she knew she was one
images of the suns slow rising on the lone bay she drove to at seventeen
smoking a joint down pch at four thirty am
the waves drowning out everything bad in her world
she thinks about music
and her first boyfriend in seventh grade
he was a beautiful black haired
blue eyed boy of well over six feet
a punk rocker
who sweetly held her hand through the halls
and kissed her using tongue
she had carved his name in her arm
he died of a heroin overdose at 18
what sound her brother's breath made
as it was escaping his lungs
as the truck crashed into him
she thinks of the billions of stars
the atoms in the universe
she thinks how easily we become dust
she thought of all the ways she's absorbed love out of the world
she pulls her head out of the water
black curls cling to her shoulders
she feels faint
ruby finally stands
in the rooms candlelight glow
she catches glimpse of her body within the mirror
heavy swirls of steam rise off of her wet skin
she inhales deeply and wraps a towel
round her shoulders
and steps out of the bath
For Self now
Not sure what to do with my time
But so passionate
With no passion
That’s when fire is really dangerous
When its not sure what to burn
But it needs to burn
This lets a little lava blood flow
Out of fingertips
Life, will take your hands and break every tendon in your fingers
Life, will rip your fingernails off like the 12th ticket in Stop&Shop's deli counter line
the cold, dead selects you purchase by the ounce for weekly lunches remind us all
of the patience we practice each day
Patiently waiting in line patiently waiting to buy
He's waiting for her to text back and she is waiting for her heart to attack
She's been hearing the war for years now, gunshot reminders and grenade bombers explode through her bloodstream to haunt any destiny of peace
We want you to be Okay
everyone wants some semblence of comfort but there are needles in my eardrums
the music isn't piercing me anymore
I miss notes and sailboats streaming into me
I know where they are but my fingers are limp
Life will numb your fingers
so when your mother buys you gloves and hats on your birthday
muster the golden mustard stained napkin in your heart and wipe the selfish tears
A piano is unrealistic, that opportunity passed years ago
Be thankful for the very light reflecting off of the silverware, remember
Life will never be simple or fair
you will always be here but wish you are there
Sometimes you will feel like nobody cares
and that's alright
nobody has to care
except for the gremlins that live inside my hair
I don't want to listen to Rachel Taylor anymore
I hate her voice
God, I'm so fucking over that
Being so complacent
And then the sob stories
The crests and troughs
Like a wave's
One night wanting a change
The next - same story
Same old story
Just a new face
I step onto the cold glass tile
The window's open
And the hairs on my leg
Stand at attention
Put the towel down
Turn the nozzle on the shower
I wait for the scalding water to pour out
The music snaps on
5, 6, 7, 8!
I just stand in the shower now
I don't even imagine conversations anymore
The water rolls off my head
My skin is bright red for the heat
And I should have just showed up and said
Get in this car - let's run
I wash the soap off from my face and shoulders
And run my hands through my hair
A dark, wet matte
The cool december air
Blows through open window
I run the towel
Over the wet hair sticking to my arm
Check my phone:
"Maggie Upham has uploaded 5 new photos"
And then the little red circle with a little number "1" in it
And I feel my heart pounding,
And I think I might scream!
And then my heart sinks
And there air is knocked out from my lungs
Like it always does
When you read such a tragedy
Your bold boiling,
Your stomach in ropes
But now I just hate it
It's always the same shit
Some fucking romantic song
Some fake book about love
Always there romantic side of art
The romance of depression and angst
The, "Why me?"
I'm sick of it
I don't want to read the poems anymore
And be lied to
I don't want to hear they lyrics and hear
The beautiful, gentle voice
Two tears ago, I'd go through hell to hear that voice
But now it's just a chore, a task
Something that I do begrudgingly
And I've heard all the songs so many times
Now I hate the sound of a bow pulling on the violins
The hum of the quartets
The ping of the piano
The beating reverberations of the bass
And Anna Bulbrook's lovely harmony
I don't want to listen to Mikel Jollett anymore
faded music is ringing in my ears
and children are playing
i shouldve stayed away from that wine
it only made me sad
the snow is turning to ice
and my heart is freezing with it
so take me to the ocean
and drown me with my salty demons
maybe then i'll fall in love
with the sun hitting the waves
and blinding my eyes
My sisters are an hour fifteen late
And I've been shopping for coats so long
That I'm starting to measure the worth of my weight in their wool
I feel your rejection surround me when the XL doesn't fit just right
So I throw it back on the hanger and try not to look at myself in the dressing room light
I sit down on the bench half defeated
I found a grey one I like
Fits me perfect and I look good
Until I turn to the side
But I'll take it cause its classy and nice
I can feel their stares on me as they walk by
So I stop looking at my phone long enough to catch their eye
Let them know their judgement hasn't gone unseen
Cause I can sense what they're thinking
Or maybe call it paranoia
But when your co worker calls you beautiful
And the lady waiting on her paint
Pulls a card out her purse and says, "Beautiful but not healthy. I can help you lose weight"
And you stand there with your mouth gaped
Because this was the icing on top of your shit cake
Cause this week your man cheated on you
But showed no remorse
And a stranger woman saw you
As a product to endorse
And it took fifteen coats
Just to feel alright
After pulling at your fat in the fluorescent light
And the woman picking out the flannel pants
Made you think of last Christmas, placing them in his hands
And the music above your head
Held no holiday cheer
Just another reminder that you're ending this year... alone
And you forget to remember he has a new home
And you spent a split second wondering if he wished he were here
And you know why he doesn't when you look in the mirror
So I pick myself up
With my coat in my arms
Walk behind my sisters having a conversation of their own
I'm mostly invisible but that's the way we've grown
Laugh a few times, lay thick on the charm
Because they don't have time for shit weeks or broken hearts
When somehow holding it together feels a lot like falling apart.