The lone stark bugle cry—
Horn of the great mountain elk,
Ripples down cold through morning
Dusted wood as the mushrooming dews
Drop into dearly waded pools under
Fawning toes of forage and cool
Evergreen.
I've never seen someone so complex, so curious;
I've never met someone who hadn't been furious
With me at some point, I expect it
Maybe this morning, or even last night
You continued to point out every sigh,
Assume something was wrong
So I'd be mad.
Truthfully, and this is it honestly,
I don't remember the last time
I wanted someone so vast in my life.
Your mind is so broad, I want to explore it
But for now I'll deal without throwing a fit.
Your body is nice enough for me,
I like the way it pushes, pulls and pleads.
I like the way you bite my lip until it bleeds.
And we're pushing, pulling, pleading
Screaming in moments of such extremity
Its hard to calm it down
It's hard to stop, technically we're done
But removing one from the other isn't fun.
I smell your winterfresh gum, taste it in my mouth
I feel your hand, your tongue, the exasperation of your breath against my breast.
I feel my heart pounding out of my chest
And I feel the explosion which makes us rest
I want this more often, no I need this
This quick relief, this feeling is the best
I just enjoy, you and me
I very much like your company
and if you'll stay, through the night
I promise I won't give up the fight.
I am so tired of chasing love, so tired of begging and pleading. I am just tired.
You can tell me you love me over and over and over again but it makes no difference to me.
I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch, you don't mean it anymore. But still I beg and I beg to feel like I am anything at all and with every cry for your attention, I grow more tired. I lost trust in you long ago. Maybe you slept with her, maybe you didn't. Maybe it's all in my head. But even so, it's there and it's a nightmare I dream every time I close my eyes. This has happened to me before, I've been cheated and lied to time and time again and I want to believe you're different. I want to believe that you're the one that's going to stay. But I can feel you leaving, every day I wait for you to say your last goodbye. And mean it this time. I love you so goddamn much and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for wanting you so bad that I'm willing to get hurt in the process. I've built my life around you, I've created a future in my mind that I don't think I'll ever have. Maybe everybody was right, I'm too young to fall in love but if I'm old enough to get my heart broken than how can that be? I'm sick of seeing love letters to my friends, I'm sick of reading the words that they write. "I'll always love you", "we are forever", "you are the only girl in the world for me", you used to write these things. These are the things that made me feel safe and secure. Now I'm always watching my back in fear of turning around to see you writing these things to somebody else. I'm tired of waking up every morning asking the same questions, Am I pretty enough? Am I skinny enough? Am I good enough? and I always give myself the same answer, no. Because I'm not any of those things and nobody can tell me otherwise. I'm just tired of hurting and you telling me that you've been trying. You want to fix things. But what you've done to my mind isn't easy to fix and you don't have the time or patience to deal with it. And you're tired too I bet. You're tired of me constantly asking you to love me, constantly not trusting you, constantly being upset with you and I know that. I don't want to do those things but you have to meet me half way. Treat me like a queen and I'll treat you like my king. It's really as simple as that. I'm so tired of hoping things will change.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_-CoygRPpE
Well its three o'clock in the morning,
And I'm on the streets again.
Bought me some cigarettes,
I think I'll try and meet some new friends.
Good evening America,
I think I'll buy another round.
I've been high for three days straight,
I don't feel like coming down.
Girl, I like the way you move,
Why can't we dance all night?
You got that New Orleans thing groovin',
You must admit, it does feel right.
But sally said, "What do you know about my love life?
"What do you know about when I'm not around?
"What do you know about my love life?"
I said, "C'mon girl, what could possibly go wrong?"
Girl, you know I'm gonna live forever,
I don't care if its against the rules.
I will buy me a spaceship,
Pack it full of fools.
Look out Sally,
You better duck your pretty head.
That man ain't coming back,
I do believe that he is dead.
C'mon Sally,
Why don't we slip away.
All we need is some way
We could change the whole world some day.
Now its four o'clock in the morning,
And I'm on the streets again.
Bought me some cigarettes,
I think I'll try and meet some new friends.
Good evening America,
I think I'll buy another round.
I've been high for three days straight,
I don't feel like coming down.
Hey Girl! Girl, hey.
Hey hey ...
- 2009
Morning clouds dipped in last night's late afternoon
Tumble on by promising summer warmth soon
The sky empty of sun is a silver blue hue
Wildflowers dance to a soft breezy tune
The air is a raspberry lilac perfume
Everything, everywere is in bloom
The birds sing goodbye to the moon
I wonder how long it will be
Before I get to see you
The way I speak
In the car in the morning, or under trees
Is swathed in darkness
My words build walls and facades
And cunning passages, contrived corridors
Deceit, whispered ambitions
I'm dispensing my secrets
But dispensing too soon, or too late
Into weak hands
Or disbelief or indifference
Or until their refusal to look me in the eyes propagates a fear
That no amount of courage on my part could ever dissipate
I'm covered in locks
Inside and out
But no one has the keys
And I am not beautiful enough
For anyone to bother trying
Two cups of tea still a chill in my bone better make porridge and un plug the phone child sleeping still .. dog on my bed .. fucking fuck got to clear my head turn on the shower untangle my hair shake my body from it's lair i prefer night who said morning was great i am going to be late unlock the gate scream out the driveway like a banchee on heat scrape the car on the way more red paint run up those stairs and when at the top stop! Breathe! enter the temple light the candles and wait .. i may be a healer but fuck i am late!
I hold onto this key,
Not worth more than a dime.
Lay down your amour honey,
Here next to mine.
Lay down your head,
Forget for a while.
Bare out your fears,
They've been walking for miles.
The memories seem to sneak up,
And boldly corner you.
You're seeing them backwards,
They're running you through.
Just whisper to me your frail hopes,
Show me the bones of your desires.
That stalking fog will vanish,
From this doorway of fire.
It'll be simple for us,
In the cool dawn of the morning.
This is not quite the beginning,
Of a never ending story.
©NDHK
I'd like to have tea with you
Every morning
Until you look like your grandfather
©NDHK
I hope you smile at me today...
Because this morning,
I missed the sun rising.
© NDHK
