sank low on our
a four-day hike
from any civilization.
Earlier in the week,
Julio had guided us
into the secret-sacred place
to meet the medicine man.
This place was abundant
they topped the cactus tops.
Our intent was to
commune with the gods,
float outside our bodies,
intoxicate our minds
with ancient wisdom,
to learn more
about the creation.
It wasn't long
after the wretching
that things began to change.
Warm sweat streamed
down my brow,
became more astute
by the minute,
which seemed like hours.
a lone wolf howled with glee,
the stream nearby spoke
Horned toads surrounded us,
grinning with the
council of Gila monsters
who had joined them.
The moon danced
with our campfire,
stars sent divine-code.
I had transformed,
had become a coiled-rattler
with venom-filled fangs.
I rapidly shook my tail
with a deadly-tune
to warn the others,
who were enjoying
My skin was
rippled with scales,
covered with diamonds,
cold blood circulated,
flooded my soul.
I was kin to the kings,
the kings of the serpent world,
had become one with the universe,
I've never felt the same since
that cosmic-ethereal evening,
that now seems
like a millenia ago.
I meet other kings,
other kindred spirits,
slithering in human-form
upon God's Earth.
Ripped ribbons scattered aimlessly,
with fractured cups, dirt and dust
pink pearly acetone just won't be enough
to erase the evidence of you.
With forced confessions,
spilled out all past indiscretions,
and cursed vindications and blood
splattered like a musty revenge.
Hand print caresses that show
Polaroid prints all faded and jaded
like the illusion of us.
It was desperate fingers
that clung to the railings
but the force of gravity meant I had to let go.
Hope had revived me
Like water to my parched throat
my oasis is the desert
All my horrid words were revoked.
Yet nothing will ever be enough
to surgically remove
our open bleeding wounds.
I must tend to the injured,
Leave alone the wielder
Knife still in hand
How did it come to this?
I missed your voice
so much it made me cry
yet after I heard
it made everything worse
Mourning a loss that was not mine
I still love you
but it burns
until I have to take my hand off
the all consuming flame.
My teardrops cannot pay the price,
or eradicate the past in peoples minds
Will I forever be beholden to this guilt that now defines me?
Too many skin graphs to hide the scarred tissue underneath.
All paths lead me back to here.
I'm helpless to watch your ghost
Linger,you still linger.
The peace of the day has risen fully:
The spritely green leaves flitter
Through the breeze whispering
To each other about the happenings of yesteryear
The fallen petal from the rose--
The most pure in spirit,
It does not lock up it's crimson beauty--
Travels the winds, leaving
Lip stick marks on the minds
Of men, that singe crimson scars
Into their skulls. The floral souls
Are most pure, exploding out
Of the Garden of Eden to bequeath
Us with their beauty. Their petals illumine
The ghostly figures in my mind,
that turn out to be tricks of the light. I want
To lay down in this paradise and become
One with the Beauty. The world is so foolish,
Everyday passing along. Consumed with their
Passing hauntings. Always anxious. Always wanting.
If only the could take the moment to lay down on
Their Mother's bosom and listen to the beating of
Her infinite heart.
That blissful eclipse
Burned our minds
With moon swallowed thoughts
And brought in Lady Black
To taunt our pleas
For the infinite peace
How to approach something so intangible, with little cellular to describe to my nerves
How to make verbal something so emotional, based on psychology and civil construction
How to perceive myself appropriately despite the eroding drips that pierce progress and old photos I cling to with such immaturity
These questions all are for the same goal, that progression of the self, all those substantial, cerebral, sensual and societal realisations that I yearn for
And yet... I sit, making delusional dreams come true in screens, I sit, making deep intellectual arguments for causes that aren't my own, I sit, researching complicated fuck ups and fucked withs the powerful inflict in their attempts to balance a system born broken and biased
Screens are our new opiate it seems, as we reject religion our screens let us forget that the world continues around us, or encourage us not to care
And I come to this self consciousness, this ironic hypocritical reprehension
Because I really enjoy what all these creative minds and years of work and beauteous ideas have given me, but with the same hypocritical tone, despise my compulsion to stare into pixels
As I indulge this self awareness, I know I will continue with the same mental obesity of consumption tomorrow
And there will be no hypocritical self evaluation, just self involved enjoyment
Until the moments come when I am left alone with my mind
Self conscious, reflective, feeling as the time has been lost, but my mind is too tranquilised with pixel and poster representations of reality to notice
This won't change but...
Maybe if I take some time to turn pages rather than press buttons, and stare at sunsets rather than screens
That self evaluative journey I've ignored and returned to sporadically in the reflective yet warm darkness would be less intimidating
And if nothing else, on those days where reality lies next to me filling my cerebral stomach with the undeniably existential
I might feel a bit better about those days lost to other people's stories
truth about women
craigslist posts on women
Things women hate about other women (MICHIGAN)
I'm a man and I got no problems with beautiful women and love looking at and spending time with them. Listed some of the problems women have with other women and why some of them get to be targets of world's biggest haters.
1. Beauty - If the women think you are prettier than them, the more threatened they feel. They feel like ogre and hags around the woman and become haters.
2. Intelligence - It's okay to be smart but not if people are reaching for dictionaries or have to google to translate your last sentence. The bigger the words, the smaller your audience feels.
3. Hard Work Ethic - no woman wants to know another woman is working harder and reaping rewards from it. Women want that hard working woman gone.
4. Confidence - Women can't stand women who are confident.
5. Dress better - women hate other women who dress better than them. Women who dress flashy are called trashy by bitchy ones who hate them.
6. Strong Personality - women have serious issues with women who are strong and speak minds.
7. Competitive - women are competitive by nature and when they feel they can't compete they hate.
8. Affluent - women being richer than another woman is not what other women want. You see women have to have more money than other women or the richer one get called all kinds of name.
Women feel threatened and intimidated by other women faster than by men who they flirt with and plot to get as sugar dads. Biggest problem of women are women who hate other women
Response to post
competition in women
Ever have a female friend who flirted with you knowing you had feelings for another woman? Been there with a few ladies who wanted nothing to do with me when I alone. Moment the office sweetheart started saying hi and took interest, I got popular with some of my co-workers who started saying hi and flirting. That's the competitive thing happening in women's brains. Where the hell were all the women when nobody wanted me?
cant escape the demon
of an empty heart
cold and shameless
that love quivers
in his grasp
there were words i lost on you
utterances meant for
one who watches clouds
and gazes into endless layers
not one who prefers the weight of human eyes
traveling by carriage in flames
on a road of broken stone
a road where you left me
for days, at times
while you took long walks through
your minds solarium...alone..
the creatures of the darkest places
waited for me, kneeling
and lying down low in the misty grove
and when i looked for you
i found only silence and empty
i questioned that angels ever had faces
and felt the skin
of the devils hand
for the first time
there were lies
that you told
that gave birth to lies
that are the only truth i know
the way you clench my soul
i gave my essence
for a few years
walking beside you
only to watch you
as you let it go,
so comfortably you fit
into unfamiliar hands
so easily you melted
like sun beaten snow,
...... ... ........... ..
there in the night heat of the sunniest
and i learned that angels have no faces
and that the devils hand reaches out
and full of hatred
Finally Free, Nelson Mandela
The sun sends us life as a
coherent cohesive beam, unfiltered.
Our science has shown us that
all it takes to rationalize this
is a prism, the rainbows'
gatekeeper, after whose interference
we can see the dichotomy of
each ribbon of color, naked
and categorized like society.
A prism isn't necessary to see
that life is beautiful, any
more than society or our
minds are necessary for us to
instinctively know that light
loses something as it meets
The light was too beautiful for
us to comprehend, so we broke
it down to build up walls.
We used the walls to build rooms,
and our minds to bar the doors
and windows. Society took care
of the rest.
The real breakthrough takes place
when we take all that we
learned and use it to tear
back down that prison
of the light.
The Specials had a song called "Free Nelson Mandela." Wicked cool song back in the day, for a wicked good cause.
Thanks for everything, Nelson. Now you are finally free. Godspeed, & R.I.P.
Rusted gears no longer turning apace
neurons slowly transmitting signals within
though millions of impulses interlace
a current trapped, in a continuous spin
Memories, emotions and thoughts
never received, a conscious lost in circulation
my muscles distorted, left in knots
for impulses have yet to find their destination
Lifeless circuits stand still within my head
as blank eyes lock into a gaze
comatose, turning brain dead
awaiting a flow, through my minds maze.
written words are life -
breath them alive it's your gift
shadows you'll leave behind
apathetic minds -
leave knowledge to others
they blindly follow behind
Hitler burned books while -
shrieking hypnotic decrees
ashes of truth fell behind
study history -
seek the wisdom of the past
leave your cherished words behind