I used to laugh out loud but today my soul started to cry,
My heart grew roots, into the earth, so dry
How do I tame this swirling storm?
Battering my mind until its torn,
How do I fix it? Is it even broke?
Are my words just my mental smoke?
From my innards as they burn,
In the ashes, is where I learn,
Who I am and what I've become,
Could I really be the one true ONE!?!
I've never known,
Love for me has always been a stone,
Hard and cold,my warmth never felt,
I do my duties like no one else,
Then again....maybe I don't,
I'm suffocating from all my mental smoke,
It's in me...like a treasure to find,
Nobody has ever had the right mind,
One choice, to live my life,
Reality is cold and cuts like a knife.
Set this in motion
In this mind matter ocean
Your words are brain lotion
To lubricate my emotion
With this potion
With a notion
A heart in locomotion
So glad to have choosen
So glad to have woven
Woven and weave
Like ivy leave
Entwine a maple tree
Under which you rest with me
Like pedals and stem
Fabrics set in hem
Gold in mold with gem
You wrap my brain stem
I'm sitting on the bedroom floor
at almost 4 in the morning
holding a little bottle
of migraine pills
in my trembling hands
and the bottle is shaking
and the tiny capsules are rattling
and begging to be released
and I have half a mind to
listen to them
and grant their wish
and end it all.
I'm holding a little bottle
of migraine pills
in my trembling hands
nothing has ever fit
Be a leader with a servants heart this is what I live by ! I will follow these words until the day I die. Some have different standards in life some people live to have a family others to be rich and own a company but my goal in life and words I live by is to be a leader with a servants heart. You see when you do that I feel greatness is not to far behind and you can achieve any goal in your mind just simple acts of kindness and get someone through there day and just to let them know that everything is ok could be one of the best gifts of all
It's because you don't see your perfection.
You don't take the time to,
At least, try and see what others see in you.
You never try and figure out why they are jealous.
You would prefer to sit there and stay confused.
You have the figure of a Goddess,
And the mind of a genius,
But you would prefer to look past that for a few flaws.
People tell you,
"I wish I looked like you"
And you get that all the time.
You get the compliments,
You get the attention,
You get the jealousy.
You get it all the time.
I tried to save you,
I tried to make you see the beauty in you,
The beauty that you not only have on the outside,
But the inside too.
I know that's a cliche from somewhere,
But it's completely true.
Oh, is that the way it is?
Is that a freaking fact?
How about you meeting me halfway
And we can bridge that gap
You're so sure of yourself, aren't you?
You know just what you're talking about
I believe, perhaps, the greatest virtue
Is in our ability to doubt
Go and tell it on the mountain top
And examine who comes to listen
A bunch of lost souls caught in a trap
All ready to do your bidding
And now the question is;
Just what is your intention?
A sanction for your own beliefs
Or an army standing at attention
March them out to spread the word
The one that you're so sure of
Contented cultures will crash and burn
In the lands that you'll become lord of
Just listen to me for a second
I'm sending you my letter
Second guessing can be a blessing
Quantum questing can make life better
Do you go to sleep in shame and guilt
and fear of future consequence?
Those fears are senseless in their root
Your mind is your divine providence
So let it go and figure out
That no final answer can be preached
Pay attention to the lessons of your life
Realize the ultimate answer is forever out of reach
- Salman Rushdie
The scars in my chest
The tears in my eyes
The ache in my soul
The sadness in my mind
Why being so young do I feel so tired?
Maybe my life isn't what I wanted.
Does the little girl inside of me is still alive?
Deep inside she cries
She feels trapped and lonely
She is scared of the dark
But the one inside of herself.
But don't worry little angel
Soon you will be fine
This will all end
And you will be soaring in flight
With other little angels
Of the lost children who lost their mind.
It was a demon's night,
traveling alone in Cindar forest;
the wind pushes me forth
and steers me into madness.
Gripping at grooves in scarred bark,
my balance is constantly steadied;
my sanity constantly endangered
breaks at the seams for a swift escape.
Thrown about the foot trail,
bones broken with bleeding clumps of muscle,
in shock, resemble that of human
and little skeletons of hunted beasts.
My name is Francois Martyr,
a true monk employed by Christ's church.
Though the name does not interpret my resolve,
I shall not want, nor desire,
to accompany the souls of our deceased!
Reporting, now in the third month
of my extended travel in Germany's ranges,
feeble stories of the invention, Lycan.
Evidence acquired in short tales,
birthed from the touched tongue of the poor,
speaks of fanged savages evolved from man.
I, Francois Martyr, can assist
the church's needs in evidence of my own
having never suffered my eyes
to be that in nature of failing.
Deep within this enchanted wood,
wind filters out yonder screams
that seem to derive from cliffs that tower,
descending me into a darkened void that's terrifying.
My once sharpened mind
was once notable in reason,
always employing the rational narrative.
I fear the fisher
has become the shadow target.
In what realm of God should I deserve this?
The air is of great thickness in muggy mephitis,
clinging on my loose trails of cloth, soiled.
The stewy broth of sweat, death, and wrath
permeates a, now, threatened heartland.
Millions of full moons wane and wax
in the reflections of forest blood splatter,
like the landscape of hot wet garbage
primed in yellow, olive-green rigor, fanned.
A formidable spectacle in form,
silhouetted by the expanse of cerulean space,
with the threat now real; becoming surreal,
I am left with that, which corrupts my faith.
The putrid rot of congealed pus and blood
revealed itself in the chewing dissolve
of the menacing monster perverting
life's natural design, before me, in its voracious state.
I write with danger looming in my sight,
watching, waiting for something to ensue,
passing out deep breaths to the unseen mosquito;
echoes of bones breaking like snapped branches horrify.
How impressive of such imposing display
that this creature feared is of this world;
alien in disguise, damned by God himself,
coat of hair, bristled and black, matted in grand supply!
The creature has applied fell eyes upon me,
seemingly wary of the cross I bear,
with eyes rent and fired in their sockets;
a profane mastery of evil incarnate!
This death dealer of a life discarded
has attended a baying at the Hunter's moon,
dripping, spitting, shape-shifting from wolf to man;
Wait, he has seen my face!
I have been sentenced to my mistake!
The man, from wolf, drilled his stare
and upon my presence, growled the words to John 14:6
John 14:6= “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
We weren't sick
Until the doctor prescribed
Our lives away
I wasn't crazy
Until they shamed me
For opening my mind
You're not God
Until you realize
I saw you driving in your car today,
I know it's been hard for me to say goodbye,
But it was good to see your beautiful face,
I also want you to know I'm finally moving on.
You muttered something under your breath,
But I couldn't read your face.
Please learn to forgive me,
and let go of any hate.
I wish you the best.
I wish you so many things.
I'm sorry I was so hurt.
And spoiled precious memories with a tainted taste.
I will always cherish all the memories you gave.
You were selfless for so long,
And put off searching for your fate.
Time passes and things get easier to say.
I'm understanding better,
All the reasons you couldn't stay.
Happiness will be found,
In stars, in streets,
In rain, and beach.
You'll find love again and again,
And you'll be stronger every time.
Waking every morning,
With your future on your mind.
I hope pleasures come,
Enough to make you scream.
I hope your energy will come,
Enough to make you dream.
I'm excited to see what women you'll grow to be.
Now, tomorrow, in 20 to 50 years.
I want to know how the lines on your face grow old,
After the things that they will bare.
I am excited to hear of exciting news,
Coming from your wonderful world.
You're ready for it all.
You're taking it all in.
You're better off,
then you've ever been.
I want to know what men you marry.
If they should work or fade.
I want to see pictures of your children,
When you have them oneday.
I've said and done things that I regret.
Please forgive me on your own time.
So that I can be a part of your life again.
I was blinded by pain, by misery, and by anger.
This is the one month aniversary of the day that you left.
I called you names, I lied, and howled.
I grew crazy by so many thoughts.
I needed time, and still need time.
To calm myself and thoughts.
We talked about taking time,
Waiting to move.
I took that as a promise.
I know that I was wrong.
You're body is yours.
It's none of my business,
and will never be again.
I just need to drop it.
Forgive myself for those sins.
I love you, and part of me always will.
You're so much further ahead of me,
Dealing with how this marriage ended.
I'm trying to recover.
I'm sorry I couldn't do it quicker.
is it just me or do I get worse and worse.