Sitting at the bar talking about poetry.
Talking about the girl I want to look at me.
Hold up my hands as if those thoughts were fire
Burning me from the inside out, just had to get it all out.
"I met her for the one night, and I've been writing about her ever since"
Then she looked at me and just said "Wow".
I wanted to smile but I felt just dirty.
These are my true feelings and I don't want share them with you.
Hold up the time for me I can't see it through this mask.
My head hangs low and stitches are bleeding.
I want to fall in love with this girl, so I write and hope she'll read it one day.
Now I am alone, high as fuck, totally drunk on that idea.
Its because I love….
Hope you’d be my Valentine again…
Its because I miss you…
Wish you’d come back to me…
Its because I need you..
Pray that you’d still love me too
Remembered the joy you gave me
For so brief a while…
In this world that we’d built together…
And shared as our own…
There was so much love
How to thank you for giving me so much….
You made my heart your home
And every time our eyes met,
My heart melted too
Even for a while I felt we were in heaven…
Thank you for being so faithful and for caring
Only you could make my world
As only you could do…
My wonderful love, you were the greatest friend and the best companion…
How I thanked god for this opportunity..
To having to love and be loved
By someone so loving like you…
Even a brief moment with you..
On this Valentine’s day..
I would cherish it forever..
Sweetheart….Would you be my Valentine once again?
You are the prettiest boy I've met!
Cutest boy I've ever seen!
Hair is fabulous,
nicely swept to the left,
Gorgeous black eyes are beautiful as can be!
You're witty and funny
Keeping me brave in the dark,
Makes the clouds go away
and then sun begins to complain
Because now, you're the one lighting my world up!
I could talk to you as long as I want,
For hours on end,
as my lids grow heavy
and body begins to ache
But sleep doesn't matter, when you're there!
Do you know, how HAPPY
I am around you, truly?
You have a gift.
However, I am deprived
of that special gift, and am wistfully
waiting to be with you, once again.
Vaulting canyons soar on high
Shadows vast in orange sun,
Expedition treads the stones
Of exploration Mars begun.
Shifting sands in freezing breeze
Desolation’s red extreme,
Lifeless in the breathless air
As yet, no living thing be seen.
Found beneath the rust red plain
Of ancient planet Mars afar,
The relics of an ancient tribe
Of humanoids who fled the star.
Humanoids so far advanced,
Far beyond our knowledge bounds,
Far beyond our comprehension’s
Grasp of that which now, confounds.
Far advanced but still despaired,
Despite the organisational skill,
Destroyed the lakes and seas of Mars
With need and greed and get and kill.
Destroyed the soft green slopes of grass,
Destroyed the gentle surge of surf,
Destroyed tomorrow’s promised day
With need and greed, for what they’re worth.
Buried deep within the sands
Soaring spires of cities great,
Skeletons of millions caught
By greed’s black devastation’s hate.
Greed’s black hand which gambled all
On fate’s capitulated stand,
To smite the delicacy of
This planets eco-balanced land.
Mars collapsed with quick accord
The atmosphere constricted, cold.
Vegetation died en masse
Population withered old.
A frantic few survived to flee
With silver ark to virgin Earth,
(Where dinosaur now roam the shores),
To resurrect a new rebirth.
A new rebirth in promised land
Where old mistakes should not be made,
Where simple rules shall stay the hand
Of they who walk in light and shade.
A new rebirth on planet Earth
Will guarantee a life of gold
To future generation’s child
Who shall, (we promise), grow, safe, old.
Alas- a promise poorly met
A stipulation we decree,
We who stand at ruin's gate
And planetry destruction see.
We, the children's children's child
Who stand in rust red, windblown sand,
Who look towards our distant Earth
Now do declare your promise bland.
On the eve of man’s great push to planet Mars.
25 May 2013
I guess it's the end of my need for some weed,
I guess all I got is thid lsd
but really what care,
I'm not even hear
teleport to the couch,
met a pink bear,
he ate all my hair,
shit In my eye he cussed not to cry,
you think I wont trip?
one hell of a fry,
YOU SHIT IN MY EYE!
back to the room bad trip oh woah doom,
hit my head 'Jingle~
;oh yea and I'm single
hey mr. spider, lend me your lighter
back in an hour,
I thaught you died in the shower?.
itsy? bitsy? ,
I'm just rather ditsy..
wait why am i wet?.......................
all for one bet,
Silence called for us to stop.
So addicted to each other.
Strokes between your legs and lies,
thread less bruises, your disguise.
I saw your demons, you plowed mine
covered all in dust and lust.
Her eyes started once more
Entwined cruel tortures lure
my present past rejections small
talk, and even smile so gracious.
Soft blankets and white teeth,
Bedazzled songs of craving meat.
Sweetened by the blood of cats.
Melted in some fancy rats.
You reach around my neck and bite.
Put up some chandeliers to dance.
We kissed and laugh in front of shadows.
Rest our backs in wet cold meadows.
Met our end, our land of death vaults.
So last night
I whispered all of your dreams unprompted
I saw your jaw drop but I tried to conspicuously not pay attention;
I just liberated you from from a bar of twenty men all drooling
I fend them off and kept two of you entertained with only one of me
and the dreams of my dreamy elusive brother coworker or friend
I paid a lot of attention to the needs and dreams of your cute companion
But if I'm honest
even though I was making sure she was safe
cause that's what i do
I was looking at you and dreaming
I was staring straight into your eyes
looking straight into your soul
I don't have much of almost anything
but I can look deep down and see true
most people really don't believe it
and i don't blame them, why would you?
But there was a moment there
In the garage while we were talking
when you were looking at me
like you loved me
more than anything
that had ever come or gone
and it was the briefest of moments
but i fucking swear i saw it
and it made me love you
with you dirty blond hair
and all of your compassionate let's just take care of my friend care
I mean, yes
Like i heard you
you have a boyfriend
you say it like it's means something
to someone like me
....who's only ever always confronted with adversity
I have a back burner
and all of your friends
and it's not like
im saying anything
a little bit
and surprisingly so
a lack of interest
in anything intelligent or courageous
it's like the human race took 5
and was all over it
can't ever really quite describe
what I'm looking for
what lights up the fire
what stokes the soul
behind my eyes
cause i'm a believer
and i believe most true
and i think im feeling something
maybe i love you
...I remember who talked to me all night about everything
about significant things great and small
tiny odd reccolecctions
everything her things my things your things all things fuck pretty much everything
That I answered or said without saying as things that are true
I might have lied
Because you started talking like my dreams...
I covered every base what the fuck do you want me to do?
You were so fucking cool
I think I met your friend
Only to meet you
or your boyfriend...
fuck i seriously hope that one ain't true but like I'm a buhhdist now and can't say
It's like you have never met a man who see's the future
A gingerbread man baked and burned in the oven for fun
Who got tortured for years into a smile that we all love
It's like we all take things so seriously instead of laughing and drinking
and hearing the endearing lunacy of our friends
fuck if we just took a minute to wait and pretend to understand all of that darkness we let lurk in
it would be like a circus show of light delivering all of us from the three ring thing of everything
that is bad
our own macabre circus of rejection, judgement, and humiliation for all of our kind. So when you are done with your boyfriend, fiance, husband, i know not yet; talk to me first before every voyage and adventure set in opposition just for the fuck of it.
but what you can't count on
is that i'm so much older and I've been around
I don't think you might know what it is like
to double down
over years and years
it's like you get a discount
on the odds
for multiples of five years
cause who really lasts that long?
but who knows
cause life is like a lotto tarot hurricane
no sense to distribute the sad recompense
let's just fucking spend it before we pay
on all the debts we just made
and all of the futures that greyed out just fade(ed)
that's the point of grey vistas
all the deals and the souls we just promised in casual relation to make it
We try to pretend
we're all samurai
noble sacrafice to budo
it's cool that i alone must die
but i think we all smell some bullshit
in the way and the feel of this philosophy
that tells us to fight it instead of accept it
so let's beware those wayward philosophies
that perhaps might be misguided
telling us that nothing matters
as opposed to those that tell us
to simply love
all of those that surround us
And I saw her put her name into facebook on my phone
but when it was all said and done and i unlocked it all
it was gone
If i hadn't been dealing with this for almost twenty years; i think i'd cry like a little girl.
Also, I hold RRR entirely responsible for encouraging unedited writing. Be careful what you wish for ;-)
I've been told that if a person is good, they don't make you want to drown yourself in acid.
not the case with you dear, never the case with you
They don't make your words and the sounds you lovingly emit from your mouth seem feeble
there you go again, fucking not listening, you just don't listen.
They don't draw red lines over your heart with felt tip pens, guidlines for the scalpel.
fuck off, just leave me alone and stop coming back to me.
I believe I have met good people, may good people, who have kissed bruises and handed bandages.
none as good as you, no one is as perfect. i never had you and you fucking ruined me
I would like to know, if I person is capable of being good, will I be capable of loving them?
I only miss you at night.
That's where the absence of your arm around me is painful.
Even the warmth of your body next to mine is gone.
That gentle glow of heat that pulsated off your body onto mine has left,
Leaving me cold with only blankets to wrap around me.
The simple pressure of your fingers locked with mine is gone as well,
Leaving behind empty spaces.
You left holes in my life.
You ripped down the wall I had worked on for 20 years.
The comfort of that boundary around my heart crumbled when I met you,
And though it felt right when you were around,
Now that you're gone my heart is raw from exposure.
The hurt you've caused creates holes,
And I can't build up my wall fast enough to prevent them.
I miss you more than almost anything.
It's such a different sort of longing than what happens when you actually lose a loved one.
I didn't lose you, you pushed me away.
Even though you're alive, you've killed your presence in my life.
This yearning to have you back is pointless,
And yet night after night I find myself hungering to hold you.
But it's only at night.
That's when I miss you most.
He found her look to be vintage
with an elevated edgy style.
She channelled to him her inner joy
through her electric smile.
He was hopelessly, happily biten
when she walked across the room.
He knew in that moment's second
her taste he would consume.
The moment they met was magnetic,
transmitting waves of fervent desire.
Explosive intensity inundated the two
and set ablaze a sultry feverish fire.