I'm trying
Emphasis on "I'm"
Where are you now?
Have you left me behind?
I'm giving all of me
To clean this mess
But while I was answering problems
Did you give up the test?
.
.
.
I'm not ready yet
Not ready to lose
The best friends I've ever had
I'm not ready yet
I'm not ready to let go
To see our time come to an end
...
Will you wait for me?
I won't insist you put in effort
Just...wait by the door?
And when I've solved these questions
What we have will be restored
.
.
.
Maybe.
I'm not quite sure anymore
I don't know who you are
But it's not time to fight that war
I've got to make sure we're okay
Before we relearn what we were
We both changed
Whilst the other's back was turned
So don't leave yet
I'm trying
No
We're trying
To fix this grand old mess
And you can bet ever cent you own
I will not leave us like this.
As we fall so shall we rise
where the truth became the lies and the blue that I saw was not the blue deep in your eyes
but the shadows that played underneath azure skies
where judgements like wine
flowed from the vine and the pillars of palaces wrapped in pearl necklaces
came tumbling down.
In the time of nothing and plenty where nothing sufficed
and sacrifices were made upon the altars of Gods we no longer prayed too
and the blue that I saw was not there any more but had challenged itself to turn grey.
This was another day that I sat and waited for inspiration to come
Grey
no sun, just grey
where the lights fade away and the colours wash dry and the cry that tries to creep out from my parched lips is stripped of its sound
and no sound issues forth but a grunting (pig that I am..of course)
Then in the distance it takes for time to make its movements around the night where the aches and the pain can only be cured by (novo.'co)caine'
and in the backlots where hotshots sold cheap goods on the side
I slide deeper in the dark and by the lake within the park where the ducks have long gone to the market a song comes to mind,
(pack up your troubles in your old kit bag..)
and I find it's not that bad
it's not that great
I can take a little stress so let them try to mess with me and we'll see what we will see when I rise to find the blue becomes again the colour in your eyes and the shining from your face is the sun set in another place..yes the day has come once more
the day that I once read about and swore it was a fairy tale.
Thus again the light shines upon the madness of our times and I for one am glad
that today it doesn't seem so mad
but we shall see.
I had a nightmare
There were Al-Qaeda babies crawling in my room
With turbans on their heads
I know it sounds racist, it's awful, totally sick
but you gotta believe me
These Johnny Jihads were glowing in the dark
And I sensed bombs in their brains, saying gooooo geeeee gaaaa-gaaaa!
I've never been so terrified in my life
I had to leap over them, they were so fucking real
Any moment they'd explode
in a thin blood step of suicide
and Al-Qaeda day care
It wasn't just that
I knew the evil they'd become
Let me tell you how I got in this awful mess
I had this crazy idea
about confronting evil
Rwanda, genocide, all that shit
In all the books I could find
I thought I could make peace with the world
If I just cried my guts out
ship-wreck some snot mess, you know what I mean
Well, I guess the joke's on me
I needed a nightmare to tell me
There's no truth in evil
There's nothing to find
When it's all an illusion to begin with
Just like that nightmare
What a lesson that was.
I'll always remember those Al-Qaeda babies
They really saved my life
As twisted as that sounds
It's true
And yes, it's a true story
If you don't believe me...
Then God help you,
And you'll meet those Al-Qaeda babies.
I wonder if anyone will laugh at my sick sense of humor. That'll be fun to see.
An empty battlefield lies before me,
Still as the dead sea.
In full armor, you stand unmoving,
Straight across from me.
Look at this bloodbath you’ve created.
Do you see the puddles of red?
I stare at all these teardrops
That formed from words you said.
I’m slouching from exhaustion.
You look tired, as well,
And staring at this dark red sky
Feels like my own hell.
We both know the fight was over
Before we even had the chance to start.
And yet, the ground is covered in red,
As are the remnants of my heart.
Please don’t try to cross this field.
Leave everything where it is now.
I’d rather walk away from this mess
Than try to fix it, somehow…
I’ll never look in your eyes again.
They are too green and blue to see.
Looking around at this red disaster,
You’ve become a monster to me.
seems the dam is
breaking down
at last
breaking down
all of the effort
the years of work
that keep it together
tossed aside
but only for tonight
these
walls
are
crumbling
down
but only for tonight
this is all you'll see
a few clumsy lines
--you never know which
one's are about you
well
these are--
and if you read this
like I know you will
here's to hoping you find
something worth
salvaging in this
wreckage
in the mess I continue
to make with
every step I take
these walls are
crashing down
but only for tonight
only for tonight
My heart is calm.
In the centre of your palm.
You don't even know it yet.
But I bet.
I'll mess it up somehow.
Don't blame me, please.
The opportunity I will seize.
I think the good outweighs the bad though.
Bride to Be:
Oh how could he do this to me?
I trusted him undoubtedly!
Now I lie upon the grass
Hoping one day a man will pass,
And steal my heart from my chest.
So I can escape this god awful mess
Fiance:
My heart is trapped inside,
A woman of a common kind.
Continually forced to pay the fee,
Of dealing with those bound to flee.
I swear I could give her all she needs,
the complete effect of fantasy.
But I would be remiss.
In not mentioning her recent fear to kiss.
Bride to Be:
I am a wallowing bride to be
Wallowing in misery
A month ago surrounded in bliss
Until he had to take that risk
All because he heard a scream,
Trailing from a crimson stream.
Fiance:
My face is cut and torn to shreds,
And now my love won't be wed.
I only did what I thought was best.
Yet I was surely led to loneliness.
I heard a scream from down the street,
And immediately took to my feet.
Saw the face of a woman scorned,
And a man who saw no reason in leaving me alone.
Here I am, cold and numb
Sitting, Standing, rocking back and forth in the dark,
My bedroom seems smaller and smaller
Difficult to breathe, I almost choked
Drinking salty tears,
Grieving my own death..
Where do I go now?
What have I done?
My shadow is spinning around..
Topsy turvy, my life is upside down..
What a mess, just spinning around..
Round and round...
swirling around in the moonlight
Hate my face, hate my life, spin around...sheer madness!
Repeated defeats,my dooms day is here...
I can’t run..I can’t hide, I spin around...
Meaningless, fate is spinning around
I am spinning around with a sad smile on my face
Nothing left... even the moon is shying away
I am standing, spinning, dancing my own death... pure madness!
I have no fear, I am just Spinning around, around, around....
She is on her hands and knees cleaning a mess. She jives mockery, it is callow and pathetic and I know she is heedless
He withdraws from the room the smell of hard liquor lingers and it disgusts me
My consolation is this: it is not truly my fault, I've only cracked the top of a soda can that had been shaken, and while I anticipated sweetness, I've left only a sticky mess
he told me he loved me and i thought that was funny.
me? silly me with my crunched hair and wandering eyes.
me? short tempered and emotional me.
me? elaborate and confused. lifeless.
he took my hand and kissed its palm.
he told me i was beautiful.
he told me i was strong.
he didn't see my scars.
he didn't see me hide my face in his fingers.
i wanted him to mess up.
i wanted him to make me mad.
but he was perfection.
he was there with love.
and i was here with tears in my eyes and no hope.
and he stayed.
and i will never know why.
